Between Rains, page 14
“Hey,” she called out when he neared. “New car?”
“Yeah, the rental was no longer cost-effective. So, I made a quick run to Eugene and bought this one.”
“Well, it’s nice,” she said, patting the blanket next to her. “I like the color.”
He settled down in the spot where she’d indicated and held up the bottle. “Hope you like red,” he bantered. “I stopped by Susan Wilson’s shop down on Highway 101, and she promised it’s a good one.”
“Looks really good,” she told him, smiling. “I’m normally a Dr Pepper kind-of-girl. This will be a real treat.” She opened her picnic basket while he poured their drinks. “I hope you like what I fixed for lunch—well, what Mother fixed. When she heard we were going to come out here to try to spot some whales, she insisted on pulling together some sandwiches. Ham and gruyere cheese, I believe.”
“Looks delicious,” he said, taking one from her hand. He nodded toward the ocean. “Have you spotted any yet?”
Diane nodded with enthusiasm. “Four, so far. One even breached clear out of the water.”
They ate in silence for several moments, taking in the magnificent views. Suddenly, Diane let her sandwich drop to the napkin in her lap. She pointed. “There, see? Another one spouting.”
His gaze followed where she pointed. “Yeah, I see it. Wow.” He shook his head. “That never gets old.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she agreed. Then she turned to him. “So, how are you? Yesterday…well, that was pretty big.”
He set his sandwich down as well and grabbed for his glass. He swirled the rose-colored liquid, watching bubbles drift to the top. “Yeah, I’ve had better days,” he admitted. “I guess I thought we’d have more time. I mean, I know the internet warned that all cases differ, even Dr. Michaels explained that symptoms build at various paces.” He swallowed. “I just—well, I thought we’d be one of the lucky families, and Pop’s decline would progress very slowly.”
Her face filled with sympathy. She reached and patted his leg. “I get it. There’s nothing much harder than saying goodbye to a parent, no matter the means. I remember when we lost Dad all those years ago, it felt like the entire world had imploded underneath my feet. I was in an emotional freefall for—well, for some time.” She offered a faraway smile. “I still miss him.”
“I think I took a lot of things for granted.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
Rhett looked down at cider. “Deep down, I assumed Pop would always be here, that I could pick up the phone and talk to him at any given moment. I believed the memories we share would remain constant. Lewy’s dementia is a slow death that cuts at your heart like being stabbed by a thousand needles.” He told her about his father’s reaction to taking him off the accounts and the hurtful thing he’d said as a result.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “Even knowing that’s the disease talking, that had to have stung.”
Rhett let his gaze drift past her to the ocean’s surface stretching out as far as the eye could see. “Had I known what was ahead, maybe I would have made different choices with my life.”
“You mean you might have remained in Pacific Bay and near your family?”
He had a strange reaction to how easily she read him. “That, among other things.”
She gave him another of those earnest looks, seeming to let his comment settle a bit. “Well, all I’ve got to say is that you’re looking at someone who used to wear the title Queen of Regret. Take it from me, looking behind and wishing you’d made different choices serves no value. You can’t live in the past, Rhett. And, there’s no way to predict what the future really holds. The only wise thing to do is to live in the moment, wring every drop of joy out of the present.”
He knew she was right. She not only wore an expression that made him feel he was free to tell her anything, there was something decidedly calming about being in her presence. Sure, she was beautiful. In fact, Diane was a natural beauty. Long strands of hair swept her shoulders as the wind blew across her face and body, ruffling her shirt and the corners of the checkered blanket. When the breeze changed direction and hit him straight on, he could smell a light fragrance—or maybe it was her shampoo? He didn’t know, but he found himself leaning closer to catch another whiff.
He’d seen pictures of her on the internet (yes, he’d looked) and she was different back when she lived in California. No doubt, her hair, face and nails were professionally fixed up. She looked a lot like the girls he’d dated back in Chicago. He’d hate to see some of their beauty bills. Looking like a million bucks was expensive. He had a client who made a fortune in the early years of Botox injections.
She was different now. It was as if she no longer needed to impress anyone. The confidence of living in her own skin was far more intoxicating than pouty-enhanced lips or perfect makeup and hair.
Rhett liked how Diane’s hair felt—soft like a silk and colored a dozen shades of blonde. He’d noticed that the other night when he’d been bold enough to brush that kiss against her ear, meant to be a friendly notion. Admittedly, it’d been far more. He’d like to repeat the experience right now, and—
“Rhett?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry.”
She smiled at him. “Where’d you go?”
He swiftly shook his head. “Nowhere. Just thinking.” He let his gaze meet hers. “About what you said,” he added. He lifted his glass to his lips and tossed back the remaining cider.
“Enough about me,” he said, putting his empty glass down. “I want to know more about you. Tell me about your daughter.”
That brought a wide smile to her face. “She’s beautiful,” she told him. “And sassy. Smart, too.” She bit lightly at her bottom lip before adding, “I simply make no bones about the fact I adore her.”
“I hear she’s taken up with Pastor Riggin’s kid.”
“Oh, I don’t know about taken up, but they are good friends.”
Rhett reached for the bottle. “Nothing wrong with being good friends.” He grinned at her while refilling his glass, then held up the bottle to her. “Ready for some more?”
“Love some,” she said, and gathered her hair over one shoulder. She held out her glass, and he filled it to the top.
Wow, he’d love nothing more than to run his fingers through her hair. Friends, or no, she was pulling at him. Surely, she could see it in his eyes. He’d have to get hold of himself, or risk messing this up.
“When I left Pacific Bay all those years back, I was a mess. My self-esteem was in the toilet. I couldn’t believe I’d let myself believe Craig Anthony actually had feelings for me. Or that I’d taken my guard down and—well, you know.”
Rhett shrugged. “His loss.” He wondered if Craig now realized what he’d let go. Did he have any regrets?
“Anyway, my daughter was the one thing that proved I could do something right. Sadly, over the course of time, my insecurities continued to play out, and I let her down, too. She had every right to be an angry teenager.”
“Mom tells me she’s a really sweet little gal. And she’s is a good judge of character.”
Diane grinned and stretched her legs out on the blanket. “That’s good to hear. And, yes, she is now. We’ve both had a lot of work to do on ourselves. Seems the healthier I got, the more it rubbed off on Stacey. Of course, my mother influenced the matter, as well.” She explained the strained relationship she’d had with her mother, how much she’d resented her mom’s attempts to mold her early choices. “I felt like she was judging me. The reality was, I was judging myself and knew I came up far short of my own expectations. Every time another of my marriages failed, the disappointment cemented the notion I was nothing more than a screw-up.”
Before he could respond, she held up an open hand to stop him. “Oh, I know. But it’s the truth. My drinking only made things worse.” Her face broke into a weak smile. “Before you throw me a pity party, I no longer believe any of those lies. In fact, I really like who I am. I like my life.”
“That’s what it is,” he said, staring at her.
“What?”
“That something about you.” He couldn’t help himself. He reached and lightly touched her bare arm.
“Look!” She pointed.
He diverted his attention to the vast ocean in time to see a gigantic gray whale lift from the water and come crashing down. The motion sent a massive spray of water in all directions, only yards from shore. The sight nearly took his breath away.
He grabbed for the binoculars he’d packed, offered them to her.
She took them and brought them to her face. While she was searching the water’s surface for another whale, Rhett took the opportunity to fully appreciate the woman sitting next to him. Never had he shared this kind of intimacy—talked so openly about such private matters. He found himself wanting to spill even the things he’d so carefully hidden—his fear, his own feelings of falling short in a world that expected a real man to have it all together.
For all his accomplishments, he longed for someone to share those successes with. Yet, until now, he’d barely understood that kind of longing. Truth was, he wanted what his mom and dad had built, a relationship that would get a couple through anything. Even the worst. Even dementia. But it had never occurred to him that bonds like that do not just happen. They take work, commitment, time. Until now, he hadn’t been ready to devote any of those things to a relationship because all of his energy went into work.
She dropped the binoculars from her face and turned to him. “Mom says whales do that as a form of communication.” Her eyes glistened with excitement. “Can you even imagine what it sounds like under the water when those huge mammals slap the surface like that?”
Their gazes met and held.
They stayed like that for several seconds before Rhett let out a light cough. “Hey, I don’t know what you guys are doing for Thanksgiving next week, but would you consider joining us for dinner out at Mom’s? I know she’d love to have all of you.”
Diane paused, thought about his offer. She lifted those large dark eyes to his. “Well, Mom and Grace are good friends. I’m sure my mother would love that.” She let her fingers drift to his. “Truthfully, I would, too.”
He felt an immediate smile come to his lips. Not only was she beautiful, she was amazing.
Rhett knew at that moment that despite his promise to the contrary—he considered Diane much, much more than simply a friend. She was kind and sensitive. Smart and hard-working. She didn’t take herself too seriously, or let him get too down on himself. Even when he deserved a knock—or two.
It seemed he could tell her anything and never feel judgment. Just the opposite. She helped him shed the hurts, the worry. She gave him the ability to grasp the upside to the hard situations he faced.
It was difficult to fully explain, but somehow when he was with Diane, he felt known. He didn’t need to perform, fix, or impress. He could simply be himself.
Truth was, she was everything he’d always wanted in a long-term relationship. In fact, Diane Jeffers might be the kind of woman he could spend the rest of his life with.
The thought startled him. Scared him.
Rhett had never dared to feel that way about any woman. Surely, it was too early to move that fast. Didn’t this kind of thing take time? He barely knew her, and yet he felt like he’d known her forever. Did he have the guts to embrace this thing? To see where it all might lead?
What if she never felt the same and really was determined to stay out of another relationship?
What if he was setting himself up for a broken heart?
“Rhett?”
Her voice interrupted his thoughts. He swallowed, hard. “Sorry. I was lost in thought again. I really need to stop doing that.” He ran a hand through his hair.
She studied his face. “Easy to do out here.” She gave him a moment before leaning back on outstretched arms. “I asked if we could bring anything?”
“Huh? Oh, I—I’m not sure, really. I’ll have Mom reach out to your mother and they can figure it all out.”
Diane nodded. “That’s a good plan. I’m sure the two of them can dream up something great, in terms of a feast.” She gave him a sidelong look. “It’s—well, I’m looking forward to it,” she told him, a bit breathless.
He looked into those dark, liquid eyes for a long moment before making a bold and risky decision. He hadn’t climbed to the top of the financial world by holding back. He moved closer, rubbed a knuckle down her cheek. “Diane, let’s quit talking about turkey and focus on what I suspect we’re both feeling here.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to take that chance,” she told him, pulling back slightly. “I owe it to Stacey, and to myself, not to adhere to another man so soon. In fact, I need to learn to be on my own, to not need that other side of the bed filled. Know what I mean?”
He heard the words. Yet her eyes sent a different message.
“I understand,” he said, letting his hand drop. “I don’t blame you, given your history and all the men who have let you down. I’m not those men.”
She bit at the inside of her cheek. “I believe that. I do. It’s not your fault that you’re stuck with this. I’m so sorry, but I don’t think I can—”
“Diane, we’re in no hurry. We’ll take all the time you need,” he told her. “I can’t fix your past. I don’t know what the future holds. I do know that, eventually, I want to be more than just your friend. I think that’s what you want, too. At least, I hope so.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “Let’s just stay in the present and wring every bit of joy this life has to offer. For now, we don’t have to go any further than that.”
The corners of her lips turned up in a slight smile as she realized he’d turned her own words back on her. She let out a deep sigh. “Okay,” she said. “I suppose I can do that.”
“You’ll call the shots, Diane. We won’t move any faster than what makes you feel comfortable. We’re no longer kids.” He took her hand and brought it to his mouth, brushed his lips against her soft skin, wishing it was her mouth he was kissing. “We have all the time in the world.”
She looked skeptical. “That’s not entirely true,” she argued. “You’re on sabbatical. Even if your work break is long-term, you’ll be going back to Chicago, eventually.”
“I’m not sure that’s so,” he admitted. “There are a lot of reasons to stay and make Pacific Bay my home again.” The notion seemed to come out of nowhere. Yet, if he were honest, he’d been considering moving back for a while now. After resigning his position at the equity firm, he’d placed everything he owned in storage, had sold his car in Chicago and bought a new one here. There was no doubt he needed to stay. He hadn’t considered making the move permanent, but now that he thought about it, he knew moving back was what he wanted.
Especially now.
He looked out at the ocean. Then met her eyes and found warmth there, saw her smile at the news he might be remaining in Pacific Bay.
“You’re staying?”
Rhett nodded. “I need to be with my family as we travel this journey with Pop. Even after, I want to be here to watch over my mom, sister and brother. I’m the oldest. I have responsibilities.”
Even more, he had to admit there was a hole inside that was beginning to fill again. Truth was, his heart was making its way back home. The woman sitting next to him was a big part of that. He told her so. “I’m not one to mince words. Especially when there’s so much at stake. So, let me be clear. Someday, I’m going to kiss you, Diane. It may not be time yet, maybe not even soon—but someday.” He laughed out loud in spite of himself.
That was a promise he intended to keep.
21
Ever since Rhett could remember, Thanksgiving at his mom’s house had been filled with tradition. His mother always bought the biggest turkey she could find, leaving it in the store cooler to thaw several days before the big holiday. She and his sister made multiple trips to the market, loading up on all the ingredients they’d need for the Duvall feast.
His mother made her special sage dressing with dried bread crumbs of her own making. “The store-bought kind just isn’t as good,” she’d explained more often than Rhett could accurately recall. She also made another with oysters. Those who sat around her table raved about it, saying it was the best they’d ever eaten. Pop was known to eat three helpings.
She prepared several kinds of side dishes. His personal favorite was some kind of green gelatin she whipped with dried pistachio pudding mix, crushed pineapple and whipped cream. Then, she added chopped pistachio nuts. He also looked forward to her shrimp cocktail with chopped celery and bay shrimp stirred into cocktail sauce.
His sister was the pie master and spent the week before their big dinner preparing nearly a dozen different kinds. Pumpkin, of course, but she also had marionberry and pecan made with locally grown berries and nuts. She also used locally grown apples for a pie that could easily grace the cover of any food magazine.
His personal contribution was the mashed potatoes. He knew just the right quantity of crème to add to the boiled russets while mashing. The end result? A massive bowl of mouth-watering spuds that were so creamy, it would bring tears to your eyes. Especially when doused with his mom’s turkey gravy.
This year, he had more to look forward to beyond the delicious fare that would be spread across their holiday table. This year, Diane would be joining them, along with her mother and daughter. Upon the suggestion of his mom, an invitation had also been extended to Pastor Riggin and his son, Nolan. That would make Diane’s daughter happy.
Since their afternoon together late last week, he could barely get Diane out of his mind. He went to bed thinking about all they had said that day and woke up thinking about all he still wanted to say to her. He brushed his teeth, remembering how she looked. And those smiles…ah, her smile could lift him from deep places. She brought a lightness to his soul. He couldn’t wait to see her again. He texted her on several occasions to tell her so.
