Love Deserved, page 4
“Ayden, I would reconsider that idea. Wait for her to come to you.” Bentley urged me.
Instead of responding, I ignored him and made my way toward Mia. She sat at the end of the left bar, close to the stage. It’s where she and Andi always worked. Tonight, she was alone. A well-known band was here to perform, and Andi was greeting them. The moment Mia cleaned up her work area and closed her laptop, I assumed she had finished for the evening.
Perfect.
Only a few bar stools remained between us when I noticed her rub her neck. A moment later, she lowered her hands and rested both on her lap. It wasn’t until I rounded the corner of the bar that I realized she was holding her stomach.
Fear paralyzed me, preventing me from taking another step. Was she sick? Questions spiraled through my mind as I observed her. I didn’t speak or move. I thought the worst.
Then she stroked her stomach with her fingertips.
The blood in my veins grew as cold as ice. Every nerve pulsed with the rhythm of my heart. One thought rolled through my head, one that I denied was possible. And just as the realization sank in, she glanced my way.
Our eyes locked as I took one step closer, still denying what was in front of me. I had to be wrong. Mia would never hide something like this. Yet the longer I stared at her, the more I couldn’t help but wonder if my assumption was right.
Was Mia pregnant?
~Mia~
* * *
My phone vibrated against the bar as my alarm sounded. My workday was over. I refused to work late when an old friend was in town. It had been years since Stevie and her band had been at Music Haven. Anytime she was in town, we always got together before and after her performance. Andi messaged earlier to let me know they were getting settled into their suites. I couldn’t wait to see her in a couple of hours.
Being around Stevie always made me think of my mom. They formed a friendship years ago, before I was born. Whenever we got together, Stevie would always tell me funny stories about their friendship. Thinking about my mom made me smile, and I knew Stevie loved my mother.
Maybe she would give me advice about Ayden.
The light above me caught in the diamond on my finger. I glanced at my ring, questioning why I was still wearing it. After refusing to talk to Ayden, I should have taken it off. Every time I tried, my heart felt as though it were splintering.
Once I powered off my computer, I gathered the rest of my things. I need to shower and change before this evening. Perhaps I would hold off until I met with the department heads in an hour.
Rubbing at the tension in my shoulders, I considered scheduling an appointment with the community masseuse. Stress had taken its toll on me recently. Maybe now was the time I should—
Something in my abdomen fluttered. I placed my hands below my navel, curious about what the sensation was. The book I was reading explained how women could feel their baby as early as sixteen weeks in some pregnancies. I was closing in on seventeen. Was it possible I had felt my baby move?
Patting my belly, I caressed my shirt as I thought about my little one. I’d wanted a child for some time. Now, I feared losing it. What happened to my sister didn’t ease my mind.
Feeling eyes upon me, I turned to look at the spot where Ayden always sat. He wasn’t there. Instead, he stood a few feet away. He stared at my hands for a moment, then his eyes met mine. When his nostrils flared, I lowered my hands to my side.
This wasn’t good.
“Mia?”
“Hello, Ayden. Is there something you need?”
He shook his head as he studied me again. “Can I talk to you?”
I thought about saying no, but it was pointless. I needed to know what he was thinking. Hopefully, he hadn’t figured out the truth, because if he had—
“Please. Just hear me out. I won’t take too much of your time.”
“I’m listening.” My reply was brief. I didn’t want to say much. He had approached me long before he saw me pat my belly.
His eyes showed so much emotion as they stared into mine. It made my breath hitch. I was far from being over him. Every second I spent in his presence reminded me of that.
“Mia, I love you with everything in me, but I know I’ve said things to hurt you more than once.” His throat wobbled as he paused for a moment. “Knowing you don’t want to be with me hurts, but I would rather be your friend than lose you. Is that possible?”
“For us to be friends?” I asked to make sure I understood him. When he nodded, I was unsure what to say. So I nodded.
“May I speak as a friend?” Ayden asked.
“Of course.”
“I’ve noticed changes in you, even before I left on tour. You say you don’t have cancer. Right?”
Now was my chance to set the record straight. I could tell him the truth, or let him believe whatever he wanted. Hopefully, he would accept whichever answer I gave him. I still worried he wasn’t ready for kids.
“I don’t have cancer. I’m under a lot of stress. Aside from the workload I’m carrying, this stuff with you and me is driving me insane.”
“Okay.” He glanced at the floor and grew quiet. A second later, he stepped toward me. His gaze shifted to my stomach. It lingered with his next few steps. Then he looked at me once more. “Are you pregnant?”
My heart sank. Though I wanted to tell Ayden the truth, I couldn’t speak. It was more than my fear of him not wanting kids. I knew he would be angry with me for keeping it a secret.
“No. I’m not pregnant.”
The words made me want to vomit. I just royally screwed up and gave Ayden a reason not to trust me. Why was I afraid to do this? I loved him. He loved me. We created this child because of that love.
Even if he didn’t want kids yet, he would accept his responsibility. I knew he would. It was the thought of putting our child through whatever backlash its existence would cause. Izzy tried to separate us at every turn. I didn’t know how she would react to my pregnancy, and it terrified me.
“If you don’t have cancer and you’re not pregnant, why were you holding your stomach?”
“My belly was rumbling. I haven’t eaten since breakfast, better known as toast. Once I grab some lunch, I’ll be fine.”
Ayden’s brows knitted as he studied me. He didn’t appear convinced by my answer, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep lying. My misery would end if I could find the courage to tell him his child was inside of me.
“Murderer.”
The distinct sound of my sister’s voice penetrated the friction building between Ayden and me. He turned to face Izzy, partially blocking my view. I saw enough of her face to see the anger it contained and the icy glare she was giving us.
“What did you say?” Ayden spoke before I could.
Her stony gaze drifted past him and fell on me. Then she pointed her finger in my direction. “You’re in love with a murderer, Ayden. She’s the reason our baby is dead.”
He glanced at me, face wrinkled in confusion. When I covered my mouth to hide my trembling lips, he confronted Izzy once more. “For starters, you came at Mia, swinging. I pulled her out of the way, causing you to miss and lose your balance. If anyone is to blame for your miscarriage, it’s me. Leave your sister out of this.”
“This isn’t over. Not by a long shot.” Snarling in my direction, she narrowed her eyes at me. Hate burned within them. After shaking her head at Ayden, she flipped us off and marched toward the center of the bar.
Once she disappeared from our sight, Ayden turned to face me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” My voice shook. I hated knowing he had witnessed Izzy harassing me.
“Don’t let her get to you. She’s a pro at placing blame, not accepting it.”
When he came closer, I held my breath. Being near him made me weak. It made me struggle with my decision to tell him the truth, especially now that he was suspicious.
“I’ll be fine.”
He gazed lower again. As much as I wanted to hide my belly from him, I didn’t dare touch my stomach. Doing so meant exposing my secret. I hoped like hell he hadn’t noticed the tiny protrusion that I discovered this morning. I was definitely showing now, and if it weren’t for the double-layered shirt I had on, it would be visible.
When he touched my shoulder, I tensed. I didn’t miss the way he winced or the way he stepped back, giving me space again. The part of me that loved him wanted to tell the truth. The part of me that feared his reaction, as well as my sister’s, kept me from opening my mouth.
“I won’t keep you. I just wanted you to know how I feel. If you want to throw away what we have, I can’t stop you, but I’m not giving up on us.”
He said nothing else. Instead, he turned on his heel and walked back toward the bar where Bentley and D were sitting. Both looked at Ayden with concern once he rejoined them.
I hated this. The guilt, the lying, and the unknown. In a perfect world, I would tell Ayden I was pregnant. He would forgive me for keeping the secret, and we would live happily ever after.
Nothing about this world was perfect.
I wanted to tell Ayden the truth, but it was too risky. There was more to this equation. Ayden plus me equaled what I hoped would be a beautiful, healthy baby. But my sister was hell-bent on dividing us.
My lie would do the same.
Chapter 5
~Mia~
“How much do you hate me?”
D’s voice filtered through my thoughts. I looked away from my tablet and glanced around the backstage area. Hopefully, I could find someone who needed my help. Then I could avoid this conversation. Unfortunately, no one needed me. Everyone was busy working. I couldn’t interrupt them just to avoid a conversation with D.
Clearing my throat, I glanced back at my tablet when I answered him. “I don’t hate you.”
“Says the woman who won’t look me in the eye.”
His sarcasm got the best of me. When I looked his way, I narrowed my gaze. “You know I’ve been struggling with my decision to continue my relationship with Ayden or end it. Why would you lead me to think I was dancing with you? I let my guard down, and you took advantage of it.”
“That wasn’t my intention. I thought I was helping two people in love, two people too stubborn to forgive—or forget—each other.”
I pursed my lips with another response, but I lost my train of thought. D had spoken the truth, and I was too proud to admit it. Ayden and I loved each other. I wanted to give in and tell him how much I needed him. Yet so many things threatened our happiness.
My sister’s instability scared me. I feared what she would do to my child or me. She blamed me for the death of her child. Did that mean she would try to hurt my baby?
“D, there’s a lot more at stake than you realize. My sister is like a bomb in countdown mode. She’ll explode when we least expect it and it won’t be pretty. I can’t risk Ayden’s life, my life, or anyone’s life in this community. That includes you.”
“Do you plan to live the rest of your life worrying about Izzy? That’s what she wants, Mia. She wants you to be miserable and afraid. Don’t let her do it to you.”
Would he give me the same advice if he knew about the baby? I couldn’t tell him before Ayden, and I couldn’t admit how much this was killing me. I hated it.
“If your relationship with Ayden is over, why are you wearing his ring?”
Leaning my back against the wall, I stared at the diamond on my finger and thought about his question. I wore it because I still wanted what it offered—a life with Ayden.
“Believe me, I’ve thought about removing it several times.”
“Then why haven’t you?” He placed his hand on the wall beside my head and lowered his head toward mine. When I didn’t answer, he pointed his finger at me. “You love him, Mia. That’s why you haven’t taken off his ring. It’s time to make this right or end it. Don’t string him along.”
My eyes burned as they watered. I wasn’t trying to lead Ayden on or give him false hope. For D to accuse me of doing so angered me. He was making a lot of assumptions from little information. I had no one to blame but myself.
“You don’t know what this is doing to me. It hurts like hell, but my relationship with Ayden has been rocky for months.”
“And we both know why. Wesley and Izzy. They’ve done things to keep you guys apart. Still, you keep making your way back to each other.”
“Izzy is determined to keep Ayden and me apart. She called me a murderer earlier when Ayden came to talk to me.”
For the first time since our conversation began, D was speechless. As he stepped back, his eyebrows squished together, and he shook his head. “Your sister is a drama queen and a psycho. Don’t listen to anything she says. She’s screwing with you.”
“I know who and what she is. Hell, she’s the one who drugged me the night Wesley snuck his friend into my suite. Right after Ayden and I reunited, she announced she was pregnant. We barely had time to adjust to the news when she had a miscarriage. Trust me, I know my sister isn’t stable.”
“Is this what’s keeping you from reconciling with Ayden?”
“No. There’s more, but I can’t discuss it right now. I need to talk to Ayden first.”
“Good.” D motioned toward the front of the arena. “He’s on his way to his suite. Go talk to him, Mia. Tell him everything, including how you’re worried about Izzy. Work this out.”
“You don’t understand—”
“Quit stalling. You and Ayden can work through whatever comes your way. You owe it to yourself to try.”
He was wrong, but I didn’t tell him as much. It’s because I wanted him to be right. I wanted nothing more than a happy life with Ayden and our child, but I feared I’d already screwed it up. I lied to him about being pregnant. Would he forgive me?
There was only one way to find out.
~Ayden~
* * *
This entire ordeal with Izzy had my head screwed up. I couldn’t believe I had accused Mia of being pregnant. When she told me her belly was rumbling, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I was an idiot, and I’d proven to her how big of one I was.
At least I’d told her how I felt. She could use the information however she wanted. If we didn’t reconcile, it wouldn’t be my fault. Not entirely. Yeah, I’d said some stupid shit I regretted, but I did everything I could to fix things between Mia and me.
Maybe our conversation would have turned out differently if Izzy hadn’t walked past. I couldn’t believe the things she said to Mia, and I wasn’t taking her words lightly. The pit in my stomach said Izzy wasn’t joking. If she had any sense at all, she would leave her sister alone. I would never strike a woman, but I would protect Mia.
Once I made it to the condo, I headed toward my room. Tonight’s concert didn’t start for a few hours, which left me enough time to eat, shower, and change. I promised Bentley we would meet before the show and grab a couple of drinks.
He and Andi planned to hang out during the concert, which meant Mia would be alone. Perhaps I could convince her to hang out with me, maybe have a drink. I would be on good behavior.
Once I arrived at my suite and opened up the door, I glanced at Mia’s suite. Even if she didn’t want to hang out, it wouldn’t stop me from watching over her. I would find an excuse to be near her.
Shutting the door behind me, I yanked off my shirt and tossed it onto the couch. The liquor bottle on the counter caught my eye as I walked toward my bathroom. I turned on the water, waiting for it to get hot. The longer I stood there, the more I contemplated taking a shot before I got in the shower. Maybe it would help me relax.
My door rattled as I walked back to the living room. Someone knocked hard enough to shake it. I wondered if it was something urgent.
The second I opened the door, anger pulsed through me. Seeing my ex once today was enough. Now Izzy was standing at my door. She wasn’t gloating like she did most days. She’d been in a dark mood since the miscarriage, which was understandable. Still, it worried me.
“What do you want, Izzy?”
“I came to check on you.” She stared at my chest when she asked the question.
“I’m good.” I didn’t know what else to say. Was she expecting me to ask how she was doing? I didn’t want to have a conversation with her. I had shit to do.
“You don’t look well. After seeing you with my sister earlier, I sensed the tension between you.”
Her response was the reason I didn’t want to talk to her. She was prying into my personal life, trying to obtain information on my relationship with Mia. I wasn’t falling for it.
“Izzy, I don’t have the energy for this. Butt out of my life. You’ve caused enough damage.”
She met my gaze this time. “I never wanted to cause you pain, Ayden. When I discovered I was pregnant, I thought I was getting the chance to make up for my past mistakes. I guess I was wrong.”
Nope. I was not doing this with her.
“I’m sorry you suffered a miscarriage, but nothing has changed between us. I don’t believe that kid was mine.”
Her eyes narrowed as her nostrils flared. “I wish the baby had survived just so I could prove it was yours.”
I nosed closer. “That makes two of us. I can’t mourn your child when there’s no proof it was mine. Your word means nothing.” Gripping the door, I took a step back to shut it, but Izzy grabbed my arm and came inside. “Get the fuck out of my suite.”
“Ayden, wait. Just hear me out. Your relationship with Mia failed for a reason.”
“Yeah, two reasons—you and Wesley. You guys did everything in your power to tear us apart.”
Izzy cocked her head to the side and snorted. “We may have played a part in it, but things wouldn’t have failed if you and my sister were in love. You lost faith in each other.”
“We did not.” I gritted my teeth and jerked my arm back, but she didn’t release it. Instead, she grabbed it with both hands.
