Adrift, page 13
“And then?” he prompted when she fell silent, wanting her to continue.
Another deep breath. “He treated her like shit on the bottom of his shoe. She’d already had a drinking problem, but he got her hooked on drugs too, soon after I was born.”
Oh, fuck.
“At the time I didn’t understand what was happening, what it all meant, but looking back, I can see how bad things were. She was like a slave to him. A possession he controlled, and he controlled me along with her. But then one day when I was thirteen, he knew something was different, and…”
He stayed absolutely still, cursing silently. If that motherfucker had—
“My mom loved me more than anything. She fought her addictions for me, wanting to protect me and be a good parent, but I knew what was happening from the time I was about eight. And when she realized Rick posed a threat to me as well when I hit my teens, she made up her mind to leave him. I don’t know how he found out, but he did, and he came after me.”
Fuuuuck. His whole body tensed, he couldn’t help it, wishing he held the power to go back in time and beat that son of a bitch to within an inch of death.
She was quiet a moment. “That’s why… That’s why the sequence we shot together was so hard for me. It reminded me too much of what happened the night Rick caught me.”
It felt like someone had hit him in the gut with a sledgehammer. “Oh, Jesus.” He wrapped his arms all the way around her, buried his face into the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry. Why didn’t you say something?” he asked, horrified.
“Because I didn’t want anyone to know what was going on with me. But that’s why I left so fast after. Replaying that whole thing over and over and over just about destroyed me.”
He closed his eyes and held her, feeling sick, yet grateful she’d summoned up the courage to finally tell him.
Then he thought of how he’d repeatedly caught her and pinned her down, wrapped his hands around her throat, and his stomach twisted. “I’m so damn sorry. If I’d known I would never have—”
“No, stop. It’s not your fault. You didn’t know, and honestly you were the only thing that made it bearable. I just wanted you to know why I reacted like that.”
“Is that why you came to me that night?” It was starting to make so much sense now.
She nodded. “I didn’t want to leave things between us like that after the shoot. Didn’t want my final memory of you to be like that. Anyway, back to that night when I was thirteen. My mom heard Rick and I struggling on the living room floor and came to my rescue. Knocked him out cold with a cast iron pan to the side of the head. She grabbed me and ran, not knowing if she’d killed him or not. We had one suitcase full of stuff between us, went straight to the airport by bus, and flew out to Vancouver on a red eye that night.”
He hated even imagining it. How scared she must have been. “Did he find you?”
“Not until a few years ago, once I’d started to become more well known. My mom was in a rough place. Her withdrawal symptoms were so bad those first few days. They kicked us out of the shelter that first week and put me into emergency care for a few months.”
His heart was breaking for her. “That must have been so hard.”
“I was scared to death that I’d never see her again. But Mom still got to visit me, although she was in and out of recovery programs from then on. I made peace with the idea that I was probably going to lose her to overdose one day, but then in my twenties I started to make money acting and found better treatment places for her. None of them worked for long, until I found the private, high-end recovery home in Myrtle Beach a couple years ago.”
It floored him that she’d gone through all of that. Humbled him that she trusted him enough to tell him now. “Is she still clean?”
“Yes. Going on two years now. Longest stretch since she became an addict, so I’m hopeful.”
“Good for her.”
“Yes. Not hard to understand why she’d become an addict, given what she was living through.”
“No.” Beneath the folds of the blanket, he stroked the back of her hand. “Why did you want to become an actor?”
“Escape, pure and simple. I understand now that it was a coping mechanism. Acting allowed me to temporarily slip out of my reality, out of my own skin, and into my characters’ instead. I think it saved my life, to be honest. Otherwise, I probably would have gone the same route my mom did.”
The thought spread cold through his gut. “You’ve talked to a professional about all this at some point, right?” Because he couldn’t see how she could possibly handle all of that on her own.
“Oh, yeah. I’ve spent an obscene amount on therapy over the years. Until the blackmail started.”
Outrage flared to life. “Who is it?”
“Rick.” He hissed in a breath, but she continued. “I don’t know if he tried to find us after we moved to Vancouver, but he must have. Then I eventually got a few lucky breaks with some small roles on TV, and my career started to take off all of a sudden. It never occurred to me that he’d notice, or care, since so many years had passed. But almost as soon as my first movie role aired, he sent the first threat and demand.”
Asshole. “What’s he threatened you with?” he asked, angling his head to see her face.
“The story of my background, and my mom’s. And then there are the videos and pictures.” Her expression hardened, her mouth twisting in disgust. “The most degrading, sleazy and ugly videos you can imagine of my mom with multiple guys at once.”
“Christ, he filmed her and kept the video?”
“That’s how he kept his girls in line. Threatening to expose them and humiliate their families if they did anything to piss him off. My situation as an actor made it even worse, given my increased popularity. If I didn’t pay up, he would’ve sent the videos and pictures to all the tabloids and spread it all over social media. But that’s not why I pay.”
He didn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue. Just held her and hoped it made it easier for her to get all this out.
“If it were merely a choice between reporting him to put him in jail and public humiliation, I would call the cops right now. But it’s not that. I don’t give a shit about my own career and reputation when compared with my mom’s safety. Going to the cops is a risk in itself, because if anything went wrong, if Rick were to get off on a technicality, say, he would retaliate, and the damage he would do is unthinkable. If the truth ever hit the media, it would send my mom into a tailspin. She’d kill herself, no question.”
“So that’s why you’ve stayed quiet,” he murmured, his heart twisting. It made so much sense now.
Damn, he’d already had feelings for her, and now that he knew the truth, knew everything she’d overcome and that she was willing to do whatever it took to protect her mom, it made him want to hold her close and protect her from the rest of the world.
“Yes. But he’s already drained me dry. I had to cash in a big chunk of my investments to pay him this last time, and I’ve got a big tax bill coming up that I still need to pay for. It sounds hard to believe, I know, but I’m literally living paycheck to paycheck now.”
He bit back his immediate response, that she should report the fucker right now and stop paying him another dime. Because it was clear she was terrified for her mother if Rick somehow leaked the truth in revenge. “So your mom doesn’t have any idea what’s been going on?”
“God, no. She’s way too fragile to handle something like this. I can’t risk her finding out. And despite what you’ve just learned, she’s a wonderful person. I’m so proud of how hard she’s fought to get clean and leave that life behind her. If you met her, I think you’d really love her, and I know she’d love you. I’ve told her all about you.”
She had? “She must be a strong lady, to have overcome all that and raised someone as amazing as you in the process.”
Becca ducked her head. “You’re just being nice.”
She didn’t believe him. Worse, he got the feeling she was ashamed, and afraid that he was judging her based on everything she’d told him.
No way.
Chase released the blanket and turned her, searching her eyes as she looked up at him. He had even more respect for her now, not less. “I admire the hell out of you both for getting out of that situation. For everything you’ve overcome and all you’ve accomplished in spite of a past that would have crippled most people. And I’m glad you still have each other. Because I still miss my mom every day.”
Her touched expression and the empathy in her big golden eyes made his entire chest ache. He wanted to kiss her senseless, make all the sadness and uncertainty disappear. Defend her from anything and everything that ever threatened her.
She sent his already intense urge to protect into overdrive.
“So do I get to meet her?” he asked, stroking a wind-whipped lock of hair back from her face and tucking it behind her ear beneath the brim of her hat. The temperature was starting to drop, a layer of mist rolling off the water and spreading across the beach.
She cocked her head, a little smile on her lips. “You want to meet my mom?”
“Love to.” She sounded like one of a kind. “When can we go?”
Her smile widened, eyes sparkling. “What about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow works for me.”
“I’m so excited, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
Oh, she’d sleep all right. Naked and curled up against him. After he’d made her come so hard she melted into a puddle next to him.
He kissed the bridge of her nose, then her lips. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime.”
He was lost in thought on the way back to the car half an hour later, thinking about everything Becca had told him. She astounded him. But strong and determined as she was, that kind of emotional and financial strain would slowly kill her, and he wouldn’t let that happen.
He had to find a way to help her. Make the blackmail stop. Figure out how to bring Rick down without jeopardizing Becca’s reputation or her mother’s mental health.
Holding his hand as they walked up the beach, Becca gave him a smile that made him want to pick her up, wind her long legs around his waist and kiss her until she melted against him. Light her fire, keep it burning until he could get her to the cottage he’d rented for them tonight, and satisfy her until she was begging him to stop.
A gust of wind tore the hat from her head. She squeaked and released his hand to lunge for it, wound up chasing it down the beach a fair distance before she finally caught it. She turned back to him, laughing, and the sight of her so happy and lighthearted took his breath away.
He dropped the bag and pulled her close, one hand winding in her hair as he locked his other arm around her back. He brought his mouth down on hers, a thrill darting through him at her soft moan, need and pleasure combined.
Her arms came around his neck, her body pressed flush to his as he slanted his mouth across hers, his tongue seeking entrance. She opened for him instantly, stoking the flames, making them burn hotter with every flick and caress of her tongue against his.
His world narrowed to just her. Her scent and taste. The feel of her trim, supple curves and the way she pushed harder into him, demanding more.
It wasn’t until he heard the voices somewhere off to the right that he realized he’d lost awareness of everything around them. He lifted his head and spotted a group of people thirty yards or so to their right, watching them.
College-aged kids, maybe early twenties. They were staring at him and Becca, talking to one another excitedly.
Hell. It was his job to protect her, and here he’d gone and lost his head on a public beach.
He felt Becca tense, then the group approached them, and he mentally muttered a curse. Maybe they’d recognized her when she’d chased her hat down the beach.
“You’re…Becca Sandoza, right?” a twenty-something guy in the lead said, a wide, dazzled smile on his face.
Becca nodded and put on a friendly smile. “That’s right.” She shot Chase an apologetic look. “Give me a couple minutes,” she murmured, and let go of his hand.
Though it went against his instincts, he stood back while she went over to talk with them for a few minutes, then she posed for pictures with them and signed some autographs.
A shocking burst of possessiveness snaked through him when the first guy wrapped a proprietary arm around her and pulled her into his side. Chase saw her stiffen, but her smile stayed in place, and he forced himself to relax.
An incident like this shouldn’t be a surprise. She was a movie star for God’s sake, and people were going to recognize her when she was out in public. But watching her be surrounded by adoring fans was yet another glimpse into a part of her life he hadn’t seen before.
His instinct was to take her away from them and whisk her back to the car where no one could bother her. But this was part of her job, and since the media had painted her as an ice queen, she was making an effort to combat that image.
It was a sobering moment of insight for him. Everything she did in public could affect her image.
He still had no clue what she wanted to happen between them, but if he wanted a shot at a relationship with her, he was going to have to control his innate reaction to protect and learn how to share her with the rest of the world.
Chapter Sixteen
Becca wasn’t sure if the butterflies in her stomach meant she was elated or terrified, or a mix of both. And on top of that she was worried about those pictures she’d just posed for winding up on social media and having her location leaked.
Either way, there was nothing she could do about it now. She’d agreed to the pictures and bared her soul to Chase in a way she’d never done with another living soul. Told him her deepest, darkest secrets, even though it terrified her to be that vulnerable.
And despite everything she’d revealed about her past, he was still right beside her. Still seemed to want to be with her, even with all her baggage. She just hoped he would never betray the unprecedented level of trust she’d given him.
“Here we are,” he said, pulling into the driveway of a little blue cottage not far from the beach. He’d booked it for them last minute before leaving Kill Devil Hills, to give both them and Ryder some privacy. After everything she’d told Chase tonight, she needed it.
“It’s cute.” The inside was even sweeter than the outside, and the windows in the kitchen had been cracked open, allowing the sound and scent of the sea to come in. “I love it,” she announced.
“I mean, it’s not the Hilton, but I thought you’d like it.” He set their bags down next to the kitchen counter and gave her a smile. “You hungry?”
“I could snack.” Especially on him.
“Perfect.” He strode to the sink, where the host had left a little basket of treats. “One of the reasons I picked this place is because they left chocolate and microwave popcorn.”
“I could so go for some popcorn right now. And a movie?”
“Sure. Go see what you can find and pick one out. One you love or haven’t seen.”
She settled herself on the couch and scrolled through their options. Gasped in excitement. “Pride and Prejudice!” She glanced over to find him at the microwave with the bag of popcorn in hand, staring at her. “What. You hate period dramas?”
“Uh, nooo,” he said, a little too slowly.
She grinned. “If you thought that would convince me, you need acting lessons.”
He laughed and put the bag into the microwave, tapped some buttons. “No, it’s fine. It’ll be good for me. Broaden my horizons a bit.”
“If you hate it, we’ll put on something else. But if you give it a chance, I think you’ll like it. The cinematography and storyline are amazing, and so are Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen.”
When the popcorn was ready, he carried it over with the basket of treats and some paper napkins. She inhaled the warm, salty scent of it and scooted over to make room for him. “Man, it’s been forever since I had popcorn while I watched a movie.”
He sank down beside her, his hip touching hers. “I can’t watch one without it.” He held out the bag.
She took a handful, popped some of it in her mouth and started the movie, then tucked a throw blanket over their laps and pushed all the lingering anxiety to the back of her mind. There was no sense in allowing it to spoil this precious time with Chase. “I think you’re gonna like this,” she told him.
As ever, right from the opening scene she was entranced. The storyline wasn’t exactly the same as the book’s, but somehow the adaptation was still perfect. She glanced over at Chase after a few minutes. His eyes were still open, and he appeared to be watching, but she wouldn’t force him to watch this. “Do you hate it?”
“No, surprisingly. It’s not bad.” He stretched his long legs out to rest his feet on the coffee table and put his arm around her, pulling her in close.
Becca snuggled into him, unable to hide a sappy smile. This was so nice. So normal, and she hadn’t had nearly enough of that in her life.
She loved being able to talk shop with him, since he understood the industry and what was required of the cast and crew. “The acting’s amazing. The amount of emotion Knightley and Macfadyen can portray with just their expressions is phenomenal.”
“They’re not as good as you. I know, I’ve seen your expressions up close on set.”
She laughed and hugged him, melting a little inside. “Not that you’re biased or anything.”
“Nope.” He kissed the top of her head, his long fingers gliding through her hair. It started off being relaxing, but then gradually, minute by minute, it turned into something more.
Every strand of hair he stroked, every time his fingertips stroked over her scalp, tugged at her scalp, sent little tingles across her skin. She was more aware than ever of his size, his warmth, and a rush of desire hit her when she thought about those incredibly addictive kisses he’d given her.
