Pride, page 9
part #5 of The Damning Series
I hadn’t even worn one of my suits since I first felt the mate bond snap. What was the point?
I didn’t bother undressing as I threw myself onto the uncomfortable, lumpy bed. I just wished for sleep to claim me until I reopened my eyes and could begin the next leg of my journey. Sleep…
Why did I have to partake in such a mindless, mundane thing? It was absolutely ridiculous. However, my body was beginning to protest the three days I had gone without any sleep, and I knew that if I didn’t shut my eyes soon, I would collapse and never wake up. And though that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, I wasn’t ready to embrace death and the finality of it just yet.
I had bitches to kill and a mate to avenge.
I just prayed that my dreams didn’t include a certain blonde-haired temptress. I wasn’t ready to see her face. I wasn’t sure I would ever be.
Darkness.
It pressed in on me from all sides, whispering words into my ears that I couldn’t even begin to understand. I didn’t know if the darkness was speaking some foreign language or if my mind was playing tricks on me. Either way, its words caressed my skin, seared my flesh, tumbled around in my head like loose change.
And then, from the darkness, came a voice that was both a heavenly dream and a nightmare combined. Paradise and damnation wrapped into one enticing package.
Z.
No…
I didn’t want to see her, want to hear her. I didn’t know how I would survive knowing that when I inevitably opened my eyes, she would be gone once more.
“Go away,” I whispered, dropping my head into my hands. “GO AWAY!”
“Devlin, dammit! Where the fuck are you?” Irritation coated every word, but I didn’t remove my hands from my face, content to hide there for the rest of eternity. “DEVLIN!”
Soft hands grabbed at my wrists and gave them a yank. But even as my arms dropped back to my sides, my eyes remained closed.
“Go away, go away, go away,” I muttered repeatedly under my breath. All I wanted to do was wake the fuck up before I could lose myself to the dream even more, before I began to believe that this was real. Because it wasn’t real.
Z was dead.
Murdered by a crazy woman who claimed to love her.
And soon, I would join her beyond the grave. If there was an afterlife, and I was beginning to believe there was one, then I would meet with Z there and we could continue our fairy-tale story as if there had never been an interruption.
“Dammit, Devlin,” Z snapped in irritation. “Open your eyes.”
“You’re not real.”
“I am real,” she insisted. “And I’m getting really annoyed with you.”
Fuck, my mind was truly a cruel, sadistic beast. It replicated her familiar sass to perfection.
“You’re not real.”
“Devlin, I know what you’re thinking, what you believe, but it’s wrong. I’m alive. I promise you, I’m still alive. I’m at the capital now—”
“You’re not real.”
She huffed out a heavy breath. “I am real, Lin.” She guided my hand to her chest, where her heart beat erratically beneath the fabric of her dress. “Feel me.”
“This is a dream,” I whispered.
Wake up, Devlin.
Wake the fuck up.
“It is,” she agreed. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not real. I was able to use our mate bond to find—”
“It’s not real.” I shook my head in adamant denial. “It’s not—”
Warm lips pressed to mine, silencing my newest protest. I froze automatically, unsure if I wanted to push this illusion of Z away or kiss her back just as desperately as she was kissing me. Her soft curves molded to my body as she stood on her tiptoes to rake her fingernails through my wild curls. And then, I didn’t have a choice. My body reacted to her proximity even as my mind rebelled.
I wrapped one arm around her back, tugging her even closer to me, and my other hand cupped her smooth cheek.
“You’re not real,” I whispered between kisses.
“You can feel the mate bond, Devlin.” She began to kiss down my neck, her hands fiddling with my belt buckle. “You’ve just been too consumed by grief to try.”
“Because I know there won’t be anything there.” My voice broke. “I felt it shatter, Z. I felt you die.”
Horror infused that last word as memories of that fateful day played on repeat in my head. I had never felt such pain before, and I never wanted to experience it again. Z, my reason for living and breathing, my reason for surviving, was gone from this world. Her light had been extinguished, and I hadn’t even been there to say goodbye.
“Focus on me, Devlin.” Her tiny hand dipped into the waistband of my pants and boxers and palmed my hard cock. “Focus on our connection.”
“I don’t want—”
“Devlin,” she hissed, applying just enough pressure to my dick to make me wince. “Do it.”
My eyes snapped open, and Z’s face immediately took up the entirety of my vision. My heart hammered like an anvil against my breast plate as I held her glossy blue eyes. She had an ethereal beauty about her I’d always admired, but just then, that beauty was almost too much to look at. I imagined it was like staring into the sun—one second was fine, but any longer and your eyes would get burnt.
“Devlin.” She released her chokehold on my cock and began to stroke it from base to tip. “Feel me.”
I knew what I would find if I allowed myself to focus on the mate bond, but I was unable to resist my mate, even if she was only an illusion.
I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the pain and emptiness of our severed connection, and opened up the bond between me and my mate.
Immediately, all of her emotions entered me in a tidal wave of feeling. Her love, her fear, her relief. She continued to stroke my dick as the cord tethering her soul to mine shone brightly between us, practically vibrating with excitement.
No…
“No, this isn’t real.” Venom laced my words as I took a step backwards, away from her. Away from the illusion that hurt so damn much, it felt as if my heart were breaking all over again.
She simply took a step forward, her hand never once leaving my cock. “You may think that, but when you wake up, you’ll realize that this is very, very real. I’m here, Devlin. I’m alive. And I love you.”
Keeping her eyes fixed on me, Z released my dick and dropped to her knees.
“Z…” I whispered breathlessly as she tugged my pants and boxers down the rest of the way. My dick sprang free, the tip already beaded with precum, and her eyes dilated when she saw it.
“I love how hard you get for me,” she murmured, then leaned forward to run the pad of her tongue over the tip.
Tasting me.
Tasting my arousal.
Tasting my feelings for her.
My hips jerked forward instinctively, but when her eyes flared hotly, I worked to still my erratic movements.
“You know the rules, Devlin,” she practically purred. “You can’t move until I give you permission.” She ran the tips of her nails along the inside of my thighs, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. “I don’t know how long I can stay—”
“Please don’t leave me again,” I all but begged as her fingers moved to my hips and then my ass, keeping me in place.
Her eyes softened. “Never, my love.” And then she leaned forward and took my cock into her mouth.
I groaned at the feeling of her tiny pink tongue licking the vein on the underside of my dick, at the way her teeth grazed the length of me, at the way her head bobbed back and forth as she sucked me in deep.
“Fuck, baby girl…” I moaned as she released my cock with a satisfied smirk adorning her beautiful face.
“I think you still need some convincing that I’m real, wouldn’t you say?” She playfully nipped at first one ball and then the next before rising to her feet. Keeping her eyes on me, bewitching me with her sultry blue gaze, she moved her hands to her back, unclasped her dress, and allowed it to pool at her feet.
Her naked body nearly sent my head into a tailspin.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I tried to remind myself that she wasn’t real, that this was just a dream, but it was hard to remember that with the mate bond thrumming between us with its own electrical current and Z standing before me, looking like a wet dream come to life.
“Take your shirt off,” she murmured in my ear, but even though she gave me the order, her own fingers were nimbly working through the buttons. Both of us seemed to sigh as her fingers came into contact with the hard skin of my abs and chest.
When my shirt was finally removed, we both stood before each other, sharing one breath, one soul, one heart. I couldn’t demarcate where she ended and I began. But maybe there was no unraveling the bond between us. Maybe we were always supposed to be one being, born time and time again to love and die with each other.
There were no games, no foreplay.
She jumped into my arms, and I slid inside of her with one single thrust.
Our fucking was ruthless, fast, and dirty. My arms banded beneath her ass as she rode my cock, her head tilted backwards so her breasts were practically in my face. I leaned down to capture one of her nipples between my teeth, relishing the way she screamed my name into the dark abyss.
“Fuck, Devlin. Fuck!” she praised, writhing in pleasure as my fingers dug into the soft skin of her plump ass.
She almost seemed to shine amidst the darkness surrounding us, like her entire body was made of light and energy. No…like her entire body was made of flames, and those flames were dispelling the shadows pressing down on my soul.
And when she kissed me, I felt it in the marrow of my bones.
She began to fuck me even faster, and the rhythm had a storm gathering inside of me, a storm of sensations engulfing me, teasing me, breaking me. Because I knew… I knew I would wake up and discover this had been nothing but a dream, a nightmare. I knew, yet I continued to do it anyway, her lightness eddying away the darkness that had grown both around us and inside me.
My nerve endings sparked to life as she dug her fingernails into my shoulders.
“I’m going to come,” she whimpered, her pussy squeezing my cock in an iron vise.
I fractured. Everything inside of me seemed to shatter, and I knew that when I came back together, when I was reformed, I would never be the same. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be.
My emotions crashed together like a maelstrom as I held Z’s gaze and tenderly brushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
“Z—”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “I have to go. Fuck.”
Panic lit a fire inside of my stomach. “No! Z!”
“I’m still alive, Devlin! We’re heading to the Forest of Monsters and Beasts. It’s a long story, but you need to meet us there. Feel the connection—”
And then she was gone, and the unbridled pain and rage that burned through my veins was enough to send me jerking upright in bed.
“Z!” I roared, struggling to get my breathing under control. “No. No. No.”
Pain twined like a thorny vine around my heart as I buried my face in my hands, my shoulders shaking with the effort of keeping my sobs at bay.
I knew I shouldn’t have fallen asleep, but I had done so anyway. And now, my thoughts were consumed by her. By her sweet, pomegranate scent. By her sparkling blue eyes, constantly full of mischief. By her soft curves, sweet kisses, and unbreakable spirit.
What had she said to me?
To feel the bond?
I almost scoffed at how ridiculous my imagination was. Why would I want to be reminded of something that no longer existed? Of a frayed bond that had been abused more times than I cared to admit?
But…
The desperation in her eyes screamed at me to do as she’d instructed. Even if it was just an illusion…
Couldn’t I honor her wishes?
You’re being ridiculous, Devlin, I thought to myself, even as my heart battered against my rib cage with the force of the emotion percolating inside of me—hope. What if she was telling the truth? What if she truly had visited my dreams the way she had with Jax? What if…?
I focused on the bond I felt to Z—the bond I had felt sever only a few days before.
A gasp ripped free of my throat as the overwhelming sensation of Z flooded me. Her love. Her light. Her restless spirit.
Z…
Alive.
Oh god.
She was alive.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
Shallow spurts of air escaped me, and I struggled to get my breathing under control. Tears danced in my eyes as the magnitude of my discovery washed over me, almost painful in its intensity.
Z was alive.
I needed to go to her.
I needed to—
“Are you done being dramatic?” a dry voice inquired from the corner of the room. “It’s rather pathetic, wouldn’t you agree?”
My head snapped upright, my eyes immediately homing in on the figure sitting in the corner of my room on the wooden rocking chair.
Even with half of her features obscured by shadows, I would recognize that red hair and the cruel, malicious tilt to her lips anywhere.
“Aaliyah,” I rasped out.
Her grin broadened. “I heard you’ve been looking for me.”
Twelve
Z
My meeting with Devlin sparked a flame in me and all of my mates in the days that followed. We were more…energized, more cohesive, as we worked together to plan for our trip to the shadow kingdom.
Ryland was right—the genie king easily agreed to allow us to retrieve his son as the next task, though he did so with an indolent glint in his eyes that suggested he didn’t care either way. And maybe he truly didn’t. If Aaliyah were right, if the kings truly had found a way to become immortal…
A shudder worked its way through me at the thought.
There wasn’t anything we could do about it now, however. We just needed to plan for the upcoming trip and pray that we could all make it back in one piece.
I was packing a bag of toiletries when someone knocked on my bedroom door. Instantly, I was on alert, the fine hairs on the back of my neck bristling at the ominous noise. If it were one of my mates coming to visit me, they would’ve barged right in, uncaring if I was naked or showering or sleeping. Who the fuck would knock?
I slid my dagger out of its thigh sheath and stalked forward on silent feet until I could grip the knob of the door. Then, I stealthily ducked to the side while holding my blade at the ready, aiming it at the intruder’s throat.
The woman squeaked and took an automatic step backwards, her eyes wide with alarm and fear.
Oh shit.
A servant.
Human, if her mousey appearance was anything to go by.
I flashed her a guilty smile as I resheathed my dagger and attempted to casually lean against the doorframe. And I said ‘attempted,’ because I overestimated how far away I truly was from the wood and teetered precariously to the side, nearly falling over completely before I caught myself. I really lived up to the name of being the best assassin in all the realms.
“Can I help you?” I awkwardly placed a hand on the back of my head, stopped when I realized I looked like an idiot, and dropped it back to my side. Nailed it.
The frail human shuffled from foot to foot, her hands wringing the stiff fabric of her gray dress.
“The shifter king wishes to speak with you,” she explained with a formal dip of her chin.
I stiffened instinctively, my pulse thudding against my skull as I stared into her fearful eyes.
“The shifter king?” I repeated numbly. Had I heard her correctly? Did she mean one of the other assholes who ruled our world?
Out of all the kings, the shifter king terrified me the most. I had no idea why. The mermaid king was an abusive piece of shit who tortured the love of my life, but even he didn’t instill the same terror in my heart that the shifter king did. Perhaps it was because the mermaid king’s ire extended to one man and one man alone. The shifter king’s? It encompassed an entire species. If he had it his way, we would all rot at his feet until the end of time. He didn’t just wish to eradicate us; he wanted to enslave us. Hurt us. Destroy us.
According to Lupe, his fated mate was killed years ago by humans. He became insane once she died and started creating work camps for the humans to be transferred into. Everybody knew that if you entered the shifter kingdom as a human, you wouldn’t be coming back alive. He was evil through and through, nothing but caustic poison rushing through his veins.
But despite his view on humans, he had never been openly hostile to me. It wasn’t as if I believed he liked me or anything like that—the exact opposite, in fact. I imagined he hated me so much, the hatred was burning a hole in his chest, consuming him from the inside out. He wouldn’t rest until my head was on a silver platter before him.
So why did he want to meet with me?
Alone?
And where the fuck were my mates when I needed them?
I wasn’t a damsel in distress. I didn’t necessarily need the handsome princes to ride in on white horses and save me from the big old baddy, but if anyone could keep the kings in line, it was their sons.
I tried to swallow down the refusal sitting on the tip of my tongue and instead smiled serenely at the frightened-looking servant.
“Please. Take me to him,” I said cordially, returning her nod with one of my own.
I just prayed to all that was holy that I didn’t come to regret this stupid decision.
So far, the scoreboard looked a little something like this.
Z—negative five hundred and twenty two.
The kings—nine.
I hated to discover what they’d do when they reached that fatal tenth victory.
Ignoring the fear strangling me, I followed the servant girl out of my room.
