Not For You, page 6
Chapter 5
Ben knocked on the closed door, labeled Dottore Carlos Lambrini. It opened immediately. “Hi, I’m Ben Moretti.”
“Hi, Ben. Carlos Lambrini. Meliora’s here already.”
Thank the good Lord. Last night, he’d worried that she might not show because she went upstairs right after Andraya left. He walked inside and saw his daughter sitting on a chair near a couch. Dottore Lambrini said, “I’m sitting here…” he pointed to another chair “…so you can sit there.”
“I will, in a minute.” He went to Meli, who’d been watching him, and knelt in front of her. “I’m glad you showed up, sweetheart.”
Her eyes were wide and her hands shaking.
He took them in his. “This going to be all right. Professoressa says Dottore Lambrini is the best.”
She swallowed hard.
When he sat, they waited for il dottor to speak.
He said, “I asked Meli to spend a few minutes with me before you came. I told her that I’d make clear to you that I will not, with one exception, share anything she says with you. Unless she tells me I can.”
“What’s the exception?” Ben asked.
“In the case that I think you, Meli, are in danger of harming yourself, I’ll have to alert him. But I’ll tell you beforehand.”
She stared hard at him. “Does smoking pot mean I’m harming myself? Being out past curfew, riding with a boy on a motorcycle.”
Ben thought they were.
Il dottor leaned forward. “No. That’s not what I mean. Signor Moretti, most teenagers experiment with those things.”
Ben knew all that. Still…
The man turned back to Meli. “But, if pot, which is legal, leads to harder drugs that could kill you, I will inform him. What I meant was that sometimes, when people are very depressed, they consider ending their lives. If I see signs of that in you, I’ll share it with your papà. You should want me to, Meliora.”
Her face reddened. “I wouldn’t do that!”
Hmm. That was firm. Ben’s heartbeat, which had gone from zero to sixty when the doctor talked about suicide, slowed down.
After he left them to their session, though, that sick feeling in his stomach returned. His daughter was depressed enough to come to counseling. He started down to his wing but detoured to another corridor. Grateful that Andraya’s door was open, he went to the entrance of her room.
She was in the back, at her desk. “Hello, Andraya.”
“Hi, Ben.” She gave him a generous smile. “I thought you might come down.”
“Were you waiting for me?”
“Sí.” She pointed to a chair he hadn’t seen before. “I keep in my desk area for adults to use. You won’t have to squeeze into a student desk.”
“Thanks.” He dropped down. Though it was a straight chair, it was padded and comfortable enough. “So.”
She cocked her head. Today she wore a simple peach print dress with short sleeves and a belted skirt. “Yeah, so. I assume Meliora is with Carlos.”
“I just left there.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Like a total failure as a father.”
“Most troubled kids’ parents feel that way.” She hesitated. “Do you want to talk about that?”
“Meli verbalized it all last night. I lost Emilia. I lost the farm. And I uprooted everybody who depends on me.”
“Let’s take those things one at a time. Do you feel you lost Emilia or she left you?”
“She hated her life.”
“I assume she knew you were a farmer when you met.”
“Yes, but you can’t know farm living until you go through it.”
“How old was she when you married?”
“Twenty-two.”
“As old as Iliana Morata. You told me you think she’s a great teacher.”
His brows formed a vee. “I don’t understand the comparison.”
“You respect her and like her. Your ex-wife was old enough to take that risk. It didn’t work out, and for that I’m sorry. But you didn’t deceive her.”
“I’m not sure she took the risk you’re saying. She was pregnant with twins and didn’t have much choice.”
“No, Ben, she did. Lots of women raise kids alone. Right here in Casarina. She would have had sufficient health care and financial assistance if she needed it.”
He watched her.
“I can see how guilty you feel. Try to view all those things that happened to you as unfortunate, but don’t take the blame. If you can’t do that alone, you should get some counseling. Teachers here can’t use the psychology department. But our National Health Service covers all kinds of medical needs.”
“I don’t know.”
“Think about it.” When he hesitated, she cocked her head. “For me?”
“I will.” He glanced at the time. “She’s got 25 more minutes with Dr. Lambrini.”
“Would you like to go for a walk? We can talk about fun things.”
“Sí. Your parents are coming soon, right?”
“Uh, huh.”
“You can tell me about them. I know they’re famous in the United States.”
“Sure, I’ll tell you about them and my nosy sisters, too.”
“I’d like that.”
When he stood, she did, too, and said, “But before we walk, I need to do something.”
His brows raised.
“Just this.” She closed the short distance between them and hugged him. It was full-bodied embrace, chest to chest, hips to hips. After a bit he drew back. Frowned. “Screw the walk.”
He grabbed her hand and led her back to the storage room she shared with another teacher. It was long and narrow, and stuffed with…stuff. But big enough for what he had in mind. He was sick of feeling bad.
He locked both doors from the inside and turned to Andraya. Clasped her into a claiming embrace. Her fresh scent filled his head as he took her mouth. It wasn’t gentle and tender, which was what she deserved. But he couldn’t help it. He pulled away, nipped and soothed her lips, then probed her mouth again. She seemed startled at first then fell into the embrace. She pressed her body into his, and he felt every single curve. She kissed him back with urgency, exploring and nipping and soothing his mouth. He slid his hands down and cupped her bottom, picking her up to better meet his mouth. With her groin against his, he kissed her deeper, hotter. It went on for a long time.
Ben’s watch buzzed. It brought him back to reality and he let her slide down his body. It took Andraya a little longer to move back. She peered up at him. “No regrets about this, please.”
“Tesoro, I got no regrets at all.”
He was late getting to the psychologist’s office. Which was okay, because Meli was still in there. He dropped down on chair in hall and blew out a heavy breath. What a roller coaster his emotions had traveled today.
He chose to think about Andraya and how they were together.
* * *
Jim said, “It’s a beautiful night. I can smell the ocean even from town.”
“It’s wonderful,” Karen replied, leaning into him. Next to her, she held her daughter’s hand. Two of his favorite women close by. God, he missed Andraya. All the girls.
They walked slowly through the streets of Capitol City toward a little trattoria. Milt and Eddie, Jim’s guards, trailed behind them. They passed a heavenly smelling bakery, a pizza place and a jewelry shop which sparkled in the outdoor lights.
Karen said to Andraya, “You seem to be flourishing, sweetie.”
“I love it here.”
“Any special reason?”
“Hmm. Maybe. But I’m not ready to share that yet.”
“Just let us know. We’re ready and willing when you are.”
“Here’s Trattoria Pucci.” Jim was giving Andraya a break. Her face colored and he knew immediately there was a man involved. His daughter had had that tell since she was a teenager and they asked about boyfriends. Whereas Annalise, her twin, was bursting to tell them things, Andraya kept the information close to the vest, as if savoring it.
As soon as they walked inside, a host approached them. He asked, in Italian, “Mio ti aiuto?”
“Reservation for Manwaring.” Jim could tell then the guy recognized him.
“Signor Presidente. Bonasera.”
“Bonasera.” He checked the man’s name. “Giuseppe.”
“This way.” The host continued in English. He showed them to a lovely table by the window. “A special place for you.”
“Grazie,” Jim said.
“Molte Grazie, Giuseppe.” This from his daughter.
The man left them after they sat.
“I’d like wine,” Karen said. “Should we get a bottle?”
Andraya nodded. “I’ll have some.”
“Wine it is.” Jim checked the list then a sommelier came to the table. He ordered Zonin Prosecco.
“You splurging tonight, Papà?”
“Of course.”
Karen told Andraya about their trip. “I particularly liked the outdoor flea markets in Florence. I have a gift for you in my luggage.”
“Thank you, Mom.”
When they started to discuss shawls, Jim’s attention wandered around the room. A young couple sat across from them on the far wall. Young love. He remembered what it was like.
A party of four men gathered in the far corner. A business dinner? Jim didn’t miss those.
His gaze landed closer, on a woman at the table Jim was facing. She smiled over at her companion.
And something shifted inside him.
Her blond hair now had streaks of gray. Her build still statuesque. And those eyes…he’d seen their silvery color only once before.
Dear Lord in heaven. How could this be?
She lives in Casarina.
He’d put memories of her behind him. It took seven months, but he’d done it completely.
“Jim? Are you all right?” Karen asked.
“Do you see someone you know, Daddy?”
“I, um, I….”
His voice trailed off when the woman looked directly at him. Her jaw dropped. Her slivery eyes widened.
Too late now.
“Yes, darling, I see someone I knew long ago.”
Karen tracked his gaze. “The woman at the next table?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s her.” He sighed. “I’m going to find out.”
“As you should.”
He rose, walked the few feet over and peered down. “Carlotta?”
She held his gaze. She didn’t say anything for long seconds. The man who accompanied her reached over and covered her hand. “Cara?”
But she didn’t take her eyes off Jim. Instead, she stood, and reached for his hand. Held on. “Hello, Jim.”
“I can’t believe I ran into you like this.”
“It surprises me, too.” She perused him. “You look marvelous.”
“Thank you. You’re as lovely as ever.”
“Grazie. Are you here for business or pleasure?”
“Pleasure.” He angled his head to his table. “I’m with my wife and one of my daughters.”
Her face paled. “You have daughters?”
“Four of them.”
She got even paler.
“Carlotta?”
Now, the man stood. “I’m Naldo Barbara.”
“Excusi,” she said. “Naldo is an old friend of mine. Naldo, this Jim Manwaring.”
“I thought I recognized you, Signor Presidente.”
“It’s Jim. Nice to meet you.”
A waiter carrying a large tray of food appeared.
Carlotta seemed flustered by it. “I’m glad to see you, Jim, but this is our meal.”
“I’m happy to see you, too.” He stepped back. Said, “Enjoy your dinner,” then returned to the table.
“Who was that?” Andraya asked, apparently clued in by his behavior.
“As I said, someone I used to know.”
“She’s beautiful,” Karen put in.
He gazed down at his wife fondly. “Not a lovely as you, sweetheart.”
“Now, that’s the right thing to say.”
He chuckled. “Let’s enjoy our wine.”
Jim had a lot of willpower, one of the reasons he was a successful president. He was able to focus on his family.
But as they ate, an image swam in front of him. Carlotta Ricci, the woman he’d fallen hard for and wanted to marry, saying from his bed, No, no, amore mio, I cannot marry you. I will never marry anyone.”
* * *
Karen waited until they went to their suite. Once they’d slid into their king-size bed, she nestled into his naked chest. His scent had changed over the years, but he had an essence about him that was enduring. “Do you want to tell me more about her?”
His fingertips brushed her naked arm idly. “If you want to know.”
“After all these years, maybe it’s time.”
It played out in his mind as he recited what had happened to him…
“Carlotta, I love you.” He was twenty-three, old enough to know what he wanted.
“I love you, too.” Her expression was not joyful.
“Let’s get married.”
Now her face went taut. “No, amore mio.”
“I want a life with you.
“That’s impossible. Do not ask me again.”
He had asked again twice more. The third time she said, “Enough, James. If you continue to go down this road, I will not see you again.”
“You won’t see me again? Two minutes ago, you told me you love me.”
“I want to stay in the government. I’m an aide now but I can work myself up to a prestigious position.”
“You could do that if you were married. I’ll move here.”
“You want to be president someday.”
“I’d rather have you.”
“No. The laws in Italy change when a woman is married. She does not have the same rights as a single woman and certainly not as many as men.”
“Then we’ll live in the U.S. Women have rights there, and are working for more. When I become president, I’ll further those endeavors.”
“No. I want to stay in Italy.”
“More than you want me…”
“She said yes to that, Karen. Of all that made go off the rails, it was that last statement.”
“We met soon after you came home. The breakup practically destroyed you. And I wouldn’t even talk about it with you.”
He kissed her head. “Which is why you were right to send me away for seven months. My good luck that you didn’t find someone else.”
“Other men tried. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Jim. I prayed you’d get over her.”
“I did, finally. Time heals all wounds as they say.”
“For that I’m glad.”
He turned and pressed her into the pillows. “Show me how much,” he said in a low male voice.
“Hmm, yes, I think I will.”
Chapter 6
When her mother came into the kitchen the next morning, Andraya was already up and pressing beans into the machine. Always stylish, Karen wore pale blue silk pajamas.
“Sleep well, Mom?”
“Very.” She took a seat on a stool. “And you?”
“The same.” When the coffee was set, she sat at the counter with her mother. “But I am a bit confused. What was going on last night with Dad?”
“I’ll tell you some it. Dad said he wouldn’t mind if you girls the basics. But let’s wait for the coffee.”
After it brewed, they sat on her porch, with the wonderful Casarina coffee at their fingertips. Andraya had last been out here with Ben.
“When I met your father, he seemed the perfect congressional aide. On the inside, though, he was broken. He acted out when he was away from work—driving too fast on his new motorcycle, drinking, partying late.”
“My father had a motorcycle? And he lectured us about not riding one with a boy?”
Andraya could still see him, frowning deeply and saying in his presidential voice, Do not ever get on a motorcycle, girls. If you do, you won’t like the consequences. Since he never spoke to them like that, they never rode a bike with a boy again.
“He knew the risks of motorcycles.”
“I guess. You told us you met him when he was starting out in politics.”
“Yes. But as I said, he had reckless side.”
“Why?”
“The woman from last night? He’d met her the summer before here in Casarina. They had a three-month fling. But for him it was more. He fell in love.”
“And she didn’t?”
“She told him she loved him, but at the end of the summer, she refused to marry him.” Her mother smiled sadly. “Honey, anything more about their relationship, Dad will have to tell you at some point.”
“I can accept that. What about you and him? You met him when he came home?”
“I did. But I knew he was suffering. He confessed it was over a woman. I sent him away and told him not to come back until he was free of her.”
“He must have gotten over her.”
“He did but it took him nearly a year. We married six months after he came back to me.”
Andraya let out a heavy breath. “You didn’t find another man in that year?”
“I knew he was the one for me.” Her mom looked wistful. “I almost called him a million times during that period. No other man interested me. Finally, he was ready for me.”
Andraya laughed softly. “I’m glad.”
“Me too, if for no other reason than I wouldn’t have you.” She cupped Andraya’s cheek. “And your sisters.”
“Funny how life can work out.”
Her mother sat back, a shrewd expression on her face. “And how is it working out for you?”
“I don’t know, Mom. I’ve met a man I like and care about.”
“Does he feel the same?”
“Yes. But he refuses to get involved with me. He said he’s too broken. By life, not just another woman. I even offered recreational sex.”
“Recreational sex is fine, but it’s got to be that on both sides. If one person is involved more than casually, that kind of relationship is harmful.”
