Relentless: The Legacy Rises, page 21
This time, though, he had irrefutable proof.
Every word Christopher spoke ripped out a part of her soul. She needed a clear head to focus on Jo and the surgeries she faced, but knowing how unhappy her reproductive abilities made Christopher absolutely crushed her. One crisis was bad enough. Jo’s medical emergencies and Christopher’s desire for another baby and a normal pregnancy stole her energy, her appetite, and her reasoning.
After she’d listened and stood in Johnnie’s room in speechless horror, she’d sobbed in misery. His reaching for her brought her back to her senses and she’d run from his room. Somehow, she’d managed to wipe away her tears, make it to the bathroom, and throw up.
As she knew they would be, her sisters-in-law were waiting for her. While Christopher was at the club the evening before, she’d called them in a group chat and revealed the news about Jo. She’d asked them not to tell the kids until Christmas night or the day after Christmas.
Roxy hadn’t wanted to leave Molly, promising she’d visit the hospital if Knox got home early enough. Meggie had had it all worked out in her head.
She prayed as hard as she ever had for Jo’s complete recovery. She’d also accepted her decision to have the hysterectomy. It wasn’t only her life and death, but any baby she carried as well.
The children she already had needed her full attention and optimal health. She had a responsibility not to traumatize them. Childbearing didn’t comprise her identity. She had other accomplishments, other interests and, most importantly, the love and support of her family. Especially Christopher. Her decision would relieve him.
It had. Once he had time to himself and returned home, they talked. As they always did. Just him and her sharing secrets and whispering sweet nothings.
Johnnie said that Christopher hadn’t told her the truth because he didn’t want to upset her further. He begged her not to hold it against Christopher since he was only protecting her.
Johnnie shouldn’t have said anything right now. If ever. He could’ve allowed her some peace until after Jo’s surgery. But he wouldn’t even give her peace this evening.
CJ, Diesel, and Tabitha took Axel, Ryder, and Ransom outside because her three younger boys were going stir crazy. Rule decided to go with them, leaving Meggie with Rebel and Gunner.
Christopher held Gunner for a time, kissed Meggie’s forehead, then announced he wanted to see Jo.
She’d tried reading to her son but could only curl on the hospital bed and cry, so Rebel promised she’d summon Christopher and rushed out of the room.
Her bad mothering continued because she’d made it to the door and asked Bishop, one of the guys guarding her door, to watch him.
Two minutes later, JJ’s number popped up on her screen, so she’d pulled herself together and answered.
“Megan, sweetheart?”
It hadn’t been her nephew, but his father. Johnnie must’ve known she wouldn’t have answered his call.
“I don’t want to hear anymore.”
“Don’t hang up!” he’d said in a furious whisper. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
No, he was just trying to drive her crazy.
“I’m in so much pain, sweetheart. Give me a second.”
“I don’t care.” For once, it was the truth. “Do you want to completely destroy me?”
Yes. He did.
“I’m hanging up.”
Idiot move. She should’ve just done it.
“Don’t. I’ll just keep calling back.”
She’d sat up, grabbed the remote, and flipped on the light behind the bed. The lone bathroom light flooding the room no longer sufficed. “Get it over with. Torture me a little more.”
“I hate the tears in your voice.”
“You wouldn’t keep putting them there if that was the truth. What do you want?”
“To spare you. You’re talking to me, so it’s obvious Christopher isn’t with you. Don’t you find that strange?”
“No. We’re at the hospital, jackass. He’s with Jo.”
“Kendall told me her temperature isn’t regulated yet. You spent the afternoon there, so you know that. Christopher isn’t in that nursery for Jo.”
“You’re—”
She still couldn’t think of the right word to describe Johnnie.
“You, Kendall, Zoann, Bunny, and Ophelia spent most of the time in the cafeteria.”
“Christopher told me to wait for him. He was arranging our overnight stay, so Jo wouldn’t be alone.”
“Exactly. He could see her at any time.”
“I know what you’re implying. Christopher wouldn’t cheat on me. I have the utmost faith in him.”
She refused to admit to Johnnie how much his constant barrage of insults and scenarios undermined her confidence.
“He has no time to see another woman. He’s worried about Jo.”
“Since when has he ever put anyone else’s concern over yours? Even your children.”
“Johnnie, for the love of God, if we were ever friends, please stop.” She’d sniffled, her temples starting to pound. She hadn’t fully stopped her tears before she took the phone call. “I can’t think clearly right now. No matter how he feels about wanting to enjoy a normal pregnancy from me, I trust him.”
“I’m doing this because we’re friends, sweetheart,” he’d crooned. “And I think you need to go away to get you head on straight, away from everyone. Just you for two or three weeks.”
“Tabitha said the same thing.”
“She’s part of the family. I’m sure she only has your best interest at heart.”
“Unlike you.”
He’d laughed softly. “You’ll never know how much I want to protect you. I’ve known Christopher my entire life. I heard a distraught man trying to do the right thing by you. What I saw was ten times worse. He’s not with you because he is seeking a respite from your postpartum psychosis and selfishness.”
“My postpartum what?”
“You heard me, sweetheart. Do you think diagnosing mental illness without a degree was strictly Christopher’s forte? He did it enough with Kendall. Turnabout is fair play.”
“Go to hell!”
“He’s sacrificing his entire life for you. His happiness. Everything.
“He isn’t sacrificing anything!” she’d cried wildly. “Christopher loves me.”
“Not only are you a selfish little bitch, but a brainless one. The evidence is right in front of you. In the nursery with Jo.”
“Are you insinuating he’s having an affair with one of Jo’s nurses?”
“He needs to stick his cock somewhere, doesn’t he? I’m sure you’re a very advanced dick sucker, considering you’re his wife, but he likes pussy too.”
Recoiling, Meggie disconnected.
She’d sat on the edge of the bed, her mind whirling. If Johnnie’s call achieved nothing else, it energized her into action, so she’d headed to the newborn ICU. Although Christopher had been too engaged in a discussion with Rebel and Torie to see Meggie approaching, she saw absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.
Once she returned to the room, though, and thought about the recording as well as everything that Johnnie had told her over the past few weeks, her little remaining peace and confidence eroded and she’d dissolved into miserable sobs.
At the opening door to the hospital suite, Meggie lifted her eyes. Tears clogged her throat. She wanted to tell Christopher she knew how he really felt. But she had to firm up her stoicism and convince herself to have another baby.
Or…
A sob escaped her.
Christopher rushed to her side and swept her into his arms.
God…she couldn’t even think…
“Megan, baby, I love you. Talk to me. Please.”
“I love you,” she sobbed. “So much. I just want you happy.”
“I know, baby.”
What would CJ think? Her potato had been so outraged in the coffee shop at the prospect of another sibling. How would he feel if she ended up pregnant again because Christopher was so unhappy?
After hearing the recording, she knew she had to have another baby or walk away like Johnnie suggested so Christopher could have the happiness he deserved.
Chapter Fifteen - CJ
Christmas Day dawned chilly and overcast.
After breakfast at the hospital, CJ sat in the front passenger seat of Diesel’s Mercedes, while Axel, Ransom, and Ryder piled into the back. Although Mom seemed as if she didn’t want to walk away from Jo, Dad talked to her in low tones, until she agreed to leave at noon to open their Christmas gifts.
Something felt off, although CJ wasn’t sure what that might be. Mom and Dad looked tragic. He suspected it was Jo. Usually, CJ was allowed to hold her, but Torie had refused since the day of his brothers’ putridness with the shitcapade.
CJ wanted to ask what had so upset his parents, but he was afraid to discover the answer. It stood to reason his parents wouldn’t share the news and ruin everyone’s Christmas. CJ appreciated the reprieve. The constant tragedies were overwhelming him.
Once they arrived home, Axel sped toward the den. He wanted his gifts. Mom and Rebel branched off to the kitchen while everyone else headed to the gifts.
In the den, Axel scooted around the tree, searching the gift tags for his name.
“Wait for your mom and sister,” Dad ordered.
Ten minutes later, Mom and Rebel carried in trays containing sodas, beer, and juice, Dad frowned.
“Where’s Bunny?”
“At home, Christopher,” Mom said quietly, setting the tray on the coffee table and stepping aside so Rebel could do the same with hers. “I told her to stay with her family.” She glanced at the clock. “Just because we’re running late doesn’t mean we have to impose on them.”
Dad narrowed his eyes. “This got to do with Digger?”
“No.” Mom’s expression didn’t change, as unreadable as her monotone.
“I pay her for you to impose on her whatever time of day, whenever you need her, no matter what the fuck’s goin’ on.”
They will be arriving shortly to start tonight’s meal.”
“I would like a glass of wine,” Tabitha announced, nodding at the trays. “I don’t see one.”
Mom gritted her teeth. “Get it yourself, Tabitha,” she snapped. “There are more things in the world to worry about than whether you have a stupid glass of wine.”
Rebel smirked. Dad sighed. CJ worried.
“Uh, of c-course, Aunt Meggie,” Tabitha said, thrown off kilter by Mom’s annoyance. “I can get it.” She sailed out of the room.
Mom walked to the sofa and sat next to Dad. He turned her face toward him, tipped her chin up, and kissed her tenderly.
“Maahhhhh,” Gunner baaed, crawling onto her lap and kneeling on it. He wrapped his chubby arms around her neck. “Pwesents?”
Smiling, Mom nodded.
“Why did we have to visit that stupid baby?” Axel complained. “We’re supposed to wake up first thing in the morning to open all our presents in our jammies. Not half early and half late.”
Mom ignored him, continuing with her funny faces at Gunner and grinning at his laughter.
“MOM!” Axel yelled.
She didn’t answer.
“Momma?” Rebel said.
Swallowing, Mom flinched.
“What’s wrong?” Rebel asked, her voice trembling. “What’s wrong with Jo? They won’t let me hold her anymore. I didn’t think much of it, but I know it’s something bad because of the way you’re acting.”
“Jo needs surgery,” she said, not looking at anyone, pretending to be wrapped up in Gunner’s laughter.
CJ knew his mom. Even with all his siblings, he’d spent the most time with her. He knew her in most of her moods—happy, sad, angry, devious, wanting alone time with Dad, frightened, and everything in between. Watching her, he recognized she was holding herself together by a thread. What he also knew was nothing would keep her from Dad during this time.
But she looked so pitiful, CJ’s heart twisted in his chest.
Jo was in danger.
“Your ma having surgery, too,” Dad added. “As soon as Jo is stable and on the mend.”
Mom bounced Gunner harder. “I’m holding off.”
Either she’d rattle the fuck out of Gunner’s brain or toss him into the ceiling. Before either event occurred, CJ stood and went to her, lifting his little brother away.
“What the fuck you mean?” Dad growled. “You changed your mind about your hysterectomy?”
That couldn’t be. CJ would lose his fucking mind, worrying about her and Dad would be a basket case. He sounded like one now.
Clenching her jaw, she stared at Dad, and the look on her face even stole the anger rising in CJ.
Dad reached for her, but Mom got to her feet and walked to the Christmas tree.
“I don’t want more kids,” Dad said. “I want you happy, baby. I’ll do anything for you to be happy. Except that. I can’t, Megan—”
Mom kept her back to him, kneeling and gathering presents. “It’s my body,” she said dully.
“It’s gonna be your dead fuckin’ body if another baby get in it,” he snarled. “I almost lost you this time. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
It was the same thing CJ had asked her in the coffee shop a few days ago.
Dad was staring at the back of Mom’s head. CJ saw his mind whirling. Then, he nodded and cocked his head to the side. “Johnnie talked to you?”
She was silent. Then, “About?”
“Answer the fuckin’ question, Megan.”
“If you have more babies, we’re feeding it to the bears, Mom,” Axel announced, his motherfuckery marching on. “First Gunner now Jo. I’m putting my foot down.”
CJ wanted to do the same, but judging by Dad’s purpling face, he kept his opinion to himself.
Diesel got to his feet and nodded to Axel. “Let’s go to the kitchen—”
“No, it’s time to open presents,” Mom said.
Rebel looked like she’d been punched in the gut. Mom’s illness had been so hard on her. She glanced at Rule, who was staring at Mom as pale as CJ had ever seen him.
Needing a respite, CJ snatched his phone to text Harley. Until it hit him. He couldn’t.
They always texted and talked during upheavals. Mainly, it had to do with their siblings. Not that it mattered. She always knew what to say to ease him.
He’d never missed her as much as he did in that moment.
“Momma?” Rebel called.
“Megan, answer me,” Dad ordered.
Mom pushed a stack of gifts near the coffee table. “Yes, Reb?”
“Aunt Kendall let Uncle Johnnie return home right before Daddy and me got to the club,” she said.”
Another stack slid next to the first one. “That’s nice.”
“Mattie told me,” Rebel said. She fisted her hands on her hips.
Mom shrugged.
“She said Aunt Kendall is going to get the recipe for the pasta dish you brought to Uncle Johnnie at noon.”
Halting her movements, Mom stilled.
Anger flushed Rebel’s face. “What did that motherfucker lie about this time?”
Mom glanced in Dad’s direction, then pasted a smile on her face and shook her head. “Nothing. He told me no lies.”
A pained expression crossed Dad’s face. “I saw Johnnie at the club after we got back from Jo’s update,” he revealed.
Though she shrugged, she flinched, too.
“I vented.”
“You needed to,” she said, monotone. “You confided in him.”
“Did he tell you what I said?”
Tears brimming in her eyes, Mom glanced away. Her nose reddened. “No.”
“Do you want to know what I said?”
Another flinch. She already knew.
“Megan, baby, if that motherfucker recorded our fuckin’ conversation and let you listen to it…that’s the only fuckin’ thing I can fuckin’ think of to make you goin’ from actin’ like you have a fuckin’ brain and care about the children we already got to you bein’ an unfeelin’, selfish, lil’ motherfucker and sayin’ you want another baby.”
“I like babies.”
“You have a baby. And she fightin’ for her goddamn life because you can’t keep them in you long enough without you dyin’.”
“Jo’s fighting for her…Daddy!” Rebel gasped.
“I want another baby, Christopher.”
“Jo…” CJ couldn’t get it out, staring at his mother in disbelief.
Dad thrust his fingers through his hair and stalked to Mom, snatching her off her feet and shaking her.
“Dude!” CJ yelled, nearly dropping Gunner in an effort to protect his mother.
Rebel grabbed their little brother out of CJ’s arms, allowing him to barrel in front of his mother.
He pulled Mom out of his father’s arms, planting himself firmly between them. “Dad, you’re losing it.”
“Am I, CJ? I’m fuckin’ losin’ it? I’m not the one riskin’ his fuckin’ life to have baby after baby. I don’t want no more goddamn babies, Megan. We have efuckinnuff. I have a fuckin’ right on what to do with my cum and I don’t want it in you no more makin’ no fuckin’ babies!”
Rebel made a gagging sound. “God, Daddy, that’s a visual we don’t need.”
A sob escaped Mom. Dad’s shoulders slumped. CJ refused to move.
“I ain’t gonna hurt her, boy.”
“I just want you happy, Christopher,” Mom said in a small voice before CJ responded. “You’re telling me you don’t want kids because I can’t do it right. Otherwise, you wouldn’t care.”
Dad growled. “Megan, did Johnnie record my conversation and let you listen to it?” He looked stricken.
CJ wondered what the fuck Dad had said. Not that it mattered, since it was tearing his mother apart.
“If you want a woman who can have a normal pregnancy, I’ll leave,” Mom sobbed on the verge of hysteria. “Anything, Christopher. Anything to take your pain away. Hearing it almost killed me. I love you with everything in me. I just want you happy. I want you to have a normal pregnancy.”
She was babbling. CJ was sure she wasn’t even aware of her words.
