Knox, page 8
“You want me to be honest?” She said that she didn’t want him to lie to her. It wouldn’t be a good friendship if he lied to her about something like this. “I’ve fallen in love with you. I don’t know if it’s the forever kind of love, I believe it is, but since I’ve never been in love before, I have no way of knowing. But I do love you. With all my heart.”
“You don’t know me that well.” He said he understood that too and knows that he didn’t. “But you still say that you love me.”
“I do. Very much so.” He took her injured hand into his and kissed her fingers. “You’re right, I don’t know you well, but I find that I want to know you. I want to know all about you and what you did growing up. You make me want to be with you all the time because when I’m not with you, I’m thinking about being with you. Understand?”
“No. You are a very wealthy man, Knox. Not the sort of man who hangs out with teachers. Well, I guess I’m an ex-teacher now. Did I tell you that I turned in my resignation? I’m sure after this, they’ve accepted it.” He said that, as far as the board was concerned, she was still a teacher at the kindergarten level. “I don’t understand that either. I guess I will have to wait until I’m better before I’m able to figure things out for myself.”
She put up her hand to touch Knox and felt his face beneath her fingers. He had shaved, his mustache just beneath her fingertips. She could feel the smoothness of his cheeks and nose. His hair, a bit long, curled around her fingers, and she held them. Elaine could almost see him since she knew what he looked like and wanted to tell him that she loved him, too.
“You’re thinking very hard.” She told him then how much she’d fallen in love with him as well. “Good. We’re halfway there as far as I’m concerned. I wish that I could kiss you, but I know that you’d be in a great deal of pain if I did.”
“He really did this to me.” He asked her what he’d said when he was knocking her around. “That I belonged to him and no one else. I didn’t understand that part. I never belonged to anyone before. Then he said that I was a whore and a slut. That I wasn’t worthy enough to be his mistress. He actually called me his mistress and said how I’d messed things up between us—meaning him and me. I never had a clue that he felt that way about me. Then, when I told him no, he trapped me between my open car door and the parking lot and started hitting me with a bat. At some point, he told me that he was taking me home, and I remember him dragging me across the parking lot.”
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to help you, but like you said, since you’ve never felt that way about him, there was no way to know that he was going to do that to you.” She told him how she thought of him when she was being beaten and wished that he could have been there for her. “You’ve no idea how much I wish I could have been there with you right then. I would have protected you. And I will from now on. Protect you with my life.”
“He might well have hurt you, too. I keep thinking about how he approached us during dinner. How he was so angry then. What kind of person does that to someone they barely know? I certainly never had any feelings toward him in that way at all.” Knox said that he’d done some digging on him and found out some things. He told her what he’d been able to find. “So he’s done this before, and the board didn’t do anything about it? Christ, no wonder he did it if he got away with it the first time. I should sue the school for allowing him to be there when he should have been in jail or prison.”
“I told them this might well happen. You should do it. With them not doing a background check on him at all, things would come up later with him. His wife left him, too, and took their children. I can only hope that he treated his family better than he treated you. I can’t imagine what was going through his head when he was beating you to shit.” She asked him if Zander would do it for her. “If he doesn’t, I will. I tried to tell them when they hired the teachers that they had to do extensive background checks on everyone. It only takes a few minutes if you know how to do it.”
When her lunch tray was taken away, she was told that she’d eaten all of it. The staff were being so kind in telling her things when they were in the room. Since she couldn’t see anything, it didn’t startle her as badly when one of them touched her. The doctor told her that it would be another couple of weeks before the swelling would go down enough that they could see if there was any damage to her eyes. She hoped not. There was enough going on with her body as it was. She reached for Knox again, and he took her hand again.
“What plans do you have when you get out of here? You’re not going to be able to be alone with your sight gone right now.” She said that she’d just stumble around her place until she got the pattern of it down. “I was going to suggest you stay with me. I have plenty of room, and I can keep an eye on you while you’re up and around. There wouldn’t be any pressure for you to be careful either. I have furniture, but not a lot. I like the sparseness of the house.”
“What about sleeping arrangements? I don’t know that I’d be any good in bed right now. I’m usually sorest at night.” He said she could have the master bedroom, and he’d sleep in one of the others. “I’ll do it. But only if the doctor thinks that I shouldn’t be left at home alone. I don’t want to put you out. I know you offered, but that doesn’t mean that you want to be nursemaid to someone that can’t see and is as banged up as much as I am.”
“I would love you to live with me even if you had your sight and weren’t banged up. I love you.” She wished that she could see him, to see if he was making fun of her or not. Not that she thought he would, but she was so insecure right now that anything made her feel like she was being teased. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not, but I think you’re beautiful right now. I’m profoundly grateful that he didn’t kill you when he was beating you.”
“I am as well.” She felt tears rolling down her cheeks, and he begged her not to cry as it was breaking his heart. “The first time that someone tells me he loves me and I can’t get a kiss, nor can I see if he’s revolted by my looks.”
“I told you, you’re beautiful. I wish you didn’t hurt so much, but I think that after a few more days you’ll see that your swelling will go down and you’ll be able to peek at me.” She laughed. “There’s my girl. I knew that you’d be able to see the bright side of things once I got you in the mood. And you are beautiful. I think you’re the most courageous person that I’ve ever met. Not many people would have been able to go through what you have and still have a sense of humor like you do. I love that about you, too.”
“And I love you too.” She lay back on the bed and thought about where she was and what was going on around her. “It’s been weird not having been able to see things. I swear to you that I can smell things better. Not a good thing when you’re in a hospital. I can also hear the nurses out at the desk sometimes at night. They talk low so I can’t understand them, but I do hear them. Since I’m not eating anything really, I don’t know if my taste buds are any better. But I’m betting that they would be if my mouth wasn’t so sore.”
“The doctor said you’d have to see your dentist after you heal a bit more. Some of your teeth had been hit with the ball bat, and it might cause them to be loose.” She made a mental note to call him when she got out of here. “You’ve lost both earrings in your right ear. They’re both in your left, but they removed those when they cleaned your wounds.”
“There is so much wrong with me, it’s small wonder that I don’t want to see myself.” He asked her if she wanted anything from her home. “Nothing there. I was thinking about some of the papers that I needed to grade, but I wouldn’t be able to do that either.”
“I’ll run them into the school so that someone can grade them for you. Also, is there anything that was in your backpack that needs to be returned to the school? The police have it, but said that I can pick it up for you at any time.” She said that it had a couple of credit cards in it as well as her driver’s license. “I’ll make sure that they’re still in there if you give me permission to look.”
“Yes, of course. That would be wonderful. I hope no one has been having a good time on them. They have a good limit, but I can’t afford to run the bill up too much.” He said he’d take care of that for her. “Have we talked about this before? I have a feeling that you’ve been telling me things for the last few days that I just never got.”
“It’s been all right. I don’t mind reminding you again.” So he had been repeating himself for her. What a lovely thing to do. “There are some other things that you need to be made aware of. You’ve pressed charges against the school and David separately. The school for no having working cameras, and of course, you understand why David would be done separately. Zander did that for you when you were first hurt. It’s kept David in jail until such time as the judge comes around to hear what he has to say.”
“What do you think that he’s going to plead? I mean, it’s obvious that he hurt me.” He told her how he’d called her cell phone when she had not shown up to work on time. “You’re kidding me? Even though he’d put me in a position to not be there on time? The bastard. I wish I could see him now. I believe I got in a few punches of my own.”
“You did. He has a broken nose and his wrist, like yours, is broken. He had to have forty-four stitches to his head where they think you slammed him with the door.” She asked how no one noticed that. “They did, but he said that he’d had a fender bender on the way to work and had cut himself on the door getting out. The medic who took care of him said that it would have had to have hurt badly to be hit where he was. Just at the corner of his right eye.”
She would doze in and out throughout the day. Sometimes she’d wake startled out of her sleep and know that she’d been dreaming about the beating she’d taken. Knox was forever there, and she was grateful for his comforting hand on hers. She, however, wanted him to go home to get some rest because they both knew that he wasn’t sleeping all that well here at the hospital. Of course, he’d told her no, that he was all right. She threatened him, and he finally said he’d go home and shower.
“You need to rest, too. You’re not going to be able to help me if you’re sick. I need you to be strong for me. I might need you sometime, and if you’re ill or something, what will I do?” He said he would take a nap. “Good. I’ll feel better when you do. I know that I need a nap now and again with all the pain medication that they’re giving me. I wish they didn’t, but sometimes my body hurts so bad that I want to crawl into a corner and suck my thumb. If I didn’t hurt so much getting down there, I might well do it.”
After about an hour, she had no concept of time nowadays. He said that he was going to leave her. When he kissed her on the forehead, careful of the wounds there, she held tightly to his hand. It was all she could offer him, the way that she was feeling, and she loved that he didn’t make fun of her when she did it.
As soon as he left, she wanted to call him back. The room was too quiet, and she didn’t have anyone in the room to make the quiet more tolerable. Just as her dinner was being brought in, she thought of Knox and how he would tell her what he was feeding her with each spoonful. Feeling sorry for herself, she did the best she could without having any idea what she’d been eating or if she got any of it on her gown.
She cried herself to sleep once and woke to someone in the room. Not having any idea, she cried out when the person touched her. Then he told her that he was Locke, that Knox had called him to tell him to watch over her.
“That was nice of him. I sent him home to get a shower and a nap. I don’t know if he’ll take a nap or not, but I know that he needs it.” Locke said that he was lying down when he talked to him. “Well, that’s good. He won’t do himself any good to be sick when I need him.”
“You’ve fallen in love with him, haven’t you?” She asked him if he was going to tell her to back off. “Why would I do that? He’s a grown man, and you’re a grown woman. I’m surprised that it’s taken him so long to tell you. I could tell that he loved you when he was talking about helping you move into your place.”
“That seems so far away now.” He said it had been about a month. “I’ve tried to tell him he could do better, but he won’t listen to me.”
“You could do better, too, but I think the two of you make the perfect couple. You’ll do him some good, and I think he’ll do the same for you.” She told him that he was kind to her. “He’d better be. Any one of us would kick his ass if he’s not.” The two of them laughed, and she felt better about him being there. “We’re very close, the six of us and our wives have just made it better between us. I hope you’ll be a part of the family soon.”
She hoped so as well. When the nurse came in to take her blood pressure, she was also asked if she wanted anything for pain. She didn’t because she was feeling better daily and didn’t want to make a habit of the medications. She’d be out soon and couldn’t wait to be on her own two feet. Tomorrow, she was supposed to start walking the hallways to get herself in better shape. She hoped that her gown was closed up tight, as she couldn’t see what it looked like.
~*~
Knox woke up and couldn’t believe that he’d slept all night. He felt horrible for not being there if Elaine had needed him. Taking another shower and getting dressed, he had to admit that he felt better. He’d been running low for the last few days, and it had finally caught up with him. Talking to Locke, he said that he’d left her at midnight when she was sleeping well and came back in the morning to help her with her breakfast.
“I wonder how she can eat so little of this stuff and survive. It’s just soft stuff that looks like baby food. I never realized that when I put someone on a soft diet.” He said that she was on liquids before, so she was glad that she’d been upgraded. “She’s excited to be able to walk around the halls today, but I warned her to be careful that she doesn’t get dizzy. She’s been in bed for a week now, and she might not be very steady on her feet.”
“I’ll remind her of that when I see her.” He told him to take his time, that he had this. “I know, but I miss her. Christ, why didn’t anyone tell me that love was all-consuming? It’s like I can’t breathe without thinking about what she might be doing.”
“I’m so glad that you found someone to love, little brother. It is the best feeling in the world.” He agreed with him. “And to think we all thought that you and Carrie would be an item. I’m glad you were able to find Elaine when you did. It’s nice to be able to add to the family. I wish that Martha were here. Wouldn’t she be getting a kick out of all of us finding someone to love?”
“She’d be as happy as we are for us.” Locke said that he agreed with him and told him how much he missed her daily. “I do as well. I will think of something that I want to tell her, and be sad when I remember that she’s gone. For as little time as we had with her, she certainly made a huge impact on our lives. And I don’t just mean the money, I mean in our actual lives.”
“She was the best.” He had to agree with him about that. Martha had helped shape them into the men that they are today. And she’d loved them. No one had loved them up until they came into her life. If not for a broken-down van that died in front of her house, there was no telling what sort of lives they might have lived. “I can’t believe she’s been gone almost a year now. It doesn’t seem possible. Does it?”
“Not at all.” Knox told his brother how he still goes out to her gravesite and talks to her. “I think that we all do that in some way, talk to her. Like we said, she was a huge part of our lives for so little time we had with her. Knowing that she was there for us, too, made any decisions we made all that much more important to us. Because she approved of them.”
“She loved us no matter if our decisions were good or bad. Though I don’t think that there were all that many bad decisions we made when we got out of the house that we grew up in. Do you ever think of our father?” He said he did on occasion. “I do as well. Not to dwell on his life, but I was never so happy to get away from him as I was that day.”
They decided to just leave home with the shirts on their backs because had they taken something their father would have accused them of stealing from him and had them arrested. Locke had bought the van second-hand and had kept it hidden away until the day they left. Since he’d been at a friend’s house playing chess, they one by one got into the van until he was ready to leave. To this day, Knox wondered how they’d been able to make such a clean break of things and leave their father. He’d been an abusive bastard to them since they were small children. It was a wonder how they’d been able to survive him all those years.
“Do you suppose he missed us?” He said that he more than likely did miss them because they were the only ones working. “For years after we left, I wanted to go to him and see why he hated us so much. I never did, but I do wonder at times.” Locke shook his head before speaking.
“The only time he was remotely nice to us was when there was someone around, like the police, mostly. It’s a right shame that the police department knew us all by name because of him. I don’t ever want to be compared to him. I never want anything associated with him to come back and bite us in the ass. I don’t think that it will, but I think about that sometimes.” Knox said that he used to think about him finding them when they first moved here. “I think we all did like when we’d have money on us. I’d think that he was going to come out of nowhere and beat us for the cash. But he’s dead now, and nothing we have to worry about.”
“That’s true.” Knox smiled then. “I couldn’t point him out in a line-up if it ever was to have come to that. He is nothing but a blimp in my mind. Someone who means nothing to me and never will again. I’m glad that he sired us, but that’s the extent of anything that I’ve felt for him in a long time.”
