Beneath the Sand, page 16
The girls were all gifted emerald tunics with gold stitching to wear during the festival season. Livia twirled around the maidens’ quarters with glee, thrilled she was free for the week, the Saturnalia spirit making her almost giddy. She made sure to wear her brooch because not only was it the nicest thing she owned, it made her feel like she had a secret.
Livia entered the dining room and saw the empress and emperor greeting the slaves and other palace help. She was escorted to the table by the empress herself, something so foreign to her she almost did not believe it was happening.
This was going to be the best night ever, Liv thought.
She sat at a table with some of the other girls, the empress washing the feet of each girl as they sat. In keeping up with the rest of the gilded palace, the table was adorned with a gold silk cloth while the couches had matching pillows. Garland and bows had been strung from the chandeliers throughout the dining room making it feel like she was in a wooded wonderland. Livia couldn’t really picture the emperor waiting on her, but there he was dressed in a plain peasant’s tunic pouring wine and replenishing food for all the people who usually served him.
The girls indulged in wine and sweets taking full advantage of the holiday. Carolers sang tunes about Saturn and good tidings throughout the dinner creating a cheering atmosphere. Liv knew everyone loved being waited on by the emperor and he was surprisingly attentive to his task. Even Antonia was out of her room laughing at the table next to her, excused from participating in the role reversal because of her pregnancy.
Lost in a fog of wine and sultry music, Liv barely noticed the emperor beginning to serve them until his large stomach bumped into the table, making the plates and goblets on it clank around. His attempts at pouring wine for the girls was mediocre at best with most of the wine ending up in a puddle on the floor. When it was Liv’s turn to refill her drink, the emperor reached for her goblet placing his hand over hers while she held it. She watched as he sloppily poured her more wine all while caressing her hand with his thumb.
At first, she thought the wine had gone to her head and she was imagining his touch, but then he smiled at her in a longing way. Livia’s heart started to beat faster, but not in a good way. She really did not want anything physical to do with the vile man. He was cruel and unappealing to Livia in every way. Truth be told, she was very frightened of him.
So shaken up by his behavior, she wanted to leave the dinner, but didn’t want to waste the once-in-a-lifetime experience so she stayed and indulged some more, making a point to avoid the emperor. She watched as he made his rounds to some of the other girls giving them extra attention as well. This made her feel a little better that it was not just her he was interested in, but still she was cautious. Each time he neared their table, she would get up and visit another table or pretend to go relieve herself not wanting to put herself in another situation where he could touch her.
Her diversions worked well for the remainder of the dinner; she had no more interaction with him and was able to enjoy herself. As the dinner was winding down, the debauchery was just beginning. The music played louder and faster as people danced and ran around the dining hall.
Martia had the drunken idea to visit the empress’s room and try on all her clothes and jewels. A few girls followed including Livia. The empress had trunks and trunks of tunics, so many that she would have to wear five a day to get through them all in a year. Livia had never seen so many colors and exotic materials. Martia draped herself in a purple satin tunic and laid herself on the throne acting like the empress pretending to give orders to the other girls.
* * *
Livia was extremely tipsy. She actually needed to relieve herself and making her way to the bathroom was a challenge. She kept stumbling and bumping into the walls on the way, giggling to herself. Her eyelids felt heavy and she kept forcing them open to see the way there. Sitting down to relieve herself was godly. She leaned her head back looking up at the ceiling realizing how tipsy she actually was as the room started to spin.
Time had gotten away from her and every other person at the party. Gathering herself, she left the bathroom to find the girls again. She had left them in the midst of removing their tunics to skinny dip in the fountains. She turned to make her way toward the gardens when someone grabbed her from the shadows. Yelling out in fear, Livia’s mouth was quickly covered with a dirty wine-soaked hand to muffle her screams as she was thrown into a wall.
Livia’s eyes widened as her attacker became revealed from the moonlight peeking through a sun shaped cutout in the ceiling. It was the emperor. He had her pinned against the hall wall, holding her arms by the wrists pressing them up next to her head.
“Calm down, little Bella, you have been avoiding me all night and now I finally have you to myself,” he greedily said.
Livia tried to push him off of her but between his weight and her drunken state she was trapped against the wall.
“I see you accepted my token,” he said moving his eyes down toward her brooch.
Any feeling of being tipsy Livia had had moments ago in the bathroom was long gone. She could feel his hot, foul breath on her face as he spoke, “I’ve been watching you ever since you wandered into my chambers in the hypogeum.”
Liv couldn’t help but catch her breath in shock. She thought she had been blending in this whole time.
“Yes, my dear, how could I not notice someone as beautiful as you. I allowed you to stay because you intrigue me. I wondered why the daughter of the best director of venatores this empire has ever seen would want to be a foolish attention-seeking, degraded girl in the palace. So, then I watched you for these past months trying to figure it out and noticed you are not like the others, giggling when they are near me or hoping to catch my eye with their not-so-subtle gestures. You are smart and not interested in pettiness.”
Livia could not believe what she was hearing. He knew who I was. This whole time. She felt like such a fool thinking no one would notice just one more girl.
“Don’t worry now, I won’t bite,” squeezing her wrists a little tighter. Pressing her harder against the wall, he leaned in forcing his mouth on hers.
Livia tried to turn her head to keep from kissing him. It worked for a second until he released her wrists and grabbed her head with both hands to keep it in place. Again, he forced his mouth on hers jamming his tongue as far down her throat as he could.
Livia couldn’t stand it, she felt so vulnerable with his slimy tongue in her mouth. She did the first thing she could think of and bit down as hard as she could. The emperor retracted his tongue and pulled away from her, slapping her face with the back of his hand. Livia reached for her face with both hands to stop the sting, eyes welling up with tears.
The emperor stood there with a small trickle of blood running out of the side of his mouth showing absolutely no remorse. He quickly ripped her hands off of her face once again pinning her against the wall.
Tears were now streaming down Livia’s face, stinging ever so slightly as they ran down the spot where he had struck it.
The emperor now smiled, his teeth a crimson color covered in blood, and leaned in to whisper in her ear, “I do like a good game of cat and mouse if that is how you want to play this, my dear. Best be warned, I never lose. Apologizes for letting my temper get the best of me.” He then slowly licked the side of Livia’s face where he had struck her starting at her chin and ending beneath her eye.
Livia could feel the grooves in his tongue where she had bit him slide along her face, imagining the blood trail it would leave behind. She dared not move.
Looking her in the eyes now, his face so close to hers, he continued, “I am going to release you now and you can continue your foolery with the others. Tell anyone of this and I will have you eaten by one of your father’s prized pets. If you try and run, I will kill your family. Io Saturnalia, Domina Livia.”
With that he let go of her wrists, wiped his bloodied mouth on the sleeve of his peasant tunic, and walked off into the shadows.
Livia let herself slide down the wall and crumple to the floor pulling down garland from the walls as she did, the tears steadily falling down her face. How could I be this stupid? she thought. I should have never come here. Now my family is involved and there is no way out of this. As much as she wanted to lie in the pine scented decorations on the floor and sob, she did not want to get caught with blood on her face and it was only a matter of time before someone wandered to the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face—using her tunic to clean up as best she could—dried her eyes, and took a deep breath. She got herself into this and now she had to get herself out of it.
“Io Saturnalia,” she said to no one, her voice oozing with sarcasm.
18
Noemi
Noemi never figured out what Cato had intended by bringing her to Circus Maximus. For weeks she was on edge, half expecting him to appear out of nowhere or visit her home again. If he had, she never knew it because there was no more contact. She was relieved when the holiday season came because it took her mind off of him and stopped her from looking over her shoulder.
The winter solstice was upon them and that could only mean one thing: Saturnalia, Noemi’s favorite festival of the calendar year. Noemi loved festivals in Rome, the joyful energy of the people radiated around the whole forum. Saturnalia was the best because the whole empire went on holiday closing down to celebrate the solstice. People sang in the streets, dancing and enjoying life, calling out “Io Saturnalia” to everyone. Throwing social status to the side for one week brought out many colorful outfits and unique looks. It was truly a happy time of year.
Each family had their own traditions; Noemi’s family not being the exception. Her mama would prepare a beautiful breakfast spread full of candied fruits and cured meats for each day of festival. Sometimes she hid small gifts in little cakes she would bake for the girls. Special offerings of dried crops would be laid on the hearth for the hope that the next year would bring a bountiful harvest. Then they would melt wax to make cerei candles which would be given out as gifts to their friends and family to signify the return of longer days. Even the animals got a little bit of a break from the colosseum. Each day her family would bring the animals special treats and decorate the pens with greenery and holly. Even Livia was planning on spending most of the week at home away from working at the palace. Noemi loved this time of the year.
Father’s loud voice interrupted her thoughts. “Noemi, the emperor has many requests for this year’s Saturnalia and everyone is trying to accommodate him. He wants the animals to be more than just a spectacle but part of the crowd. Some sort of crowd immersion was how he described it,” her father said.
“Part of the crowd?” Noemi questioned.
The look on her father’s face told Noemi that he was not for this new idea. “He wants us to parade them around the agora and let the people play games with them or some far-fangled notion of the sort. I want you to take a tiger, leash it, and walk it around the perimeter of the agora. Make it look like the tiger is in control, but know that you are. Pack your work gear in a satchel just in case. A few of us will be out with other animals as well,” her father instructed.
Noemi started to protest. This was not how she wanted to spend the beginning of Saturnalia. She wanted to spend it with her family, wandering the festival markets and enjoying the atmosphere, not parading around a tiger.
“But, Father…” Noemi started to protest when he cut her off and walked over to her putting his strong callused hand on her shoulder.
“Please don’t fight me on this. I am up to my ears with the emperor’s silly requests and I don’t need another headache,” he said.
Noemi knew better than to push her father when he was like this. She would never understand why he was so obedient to the emperor. Plus, the faster she got the tiger the faster she could enjoy the first day of Saturnalia.
“Yes, Father,” she replied and turned to go pack up.
Choosing a tiger was easy. She picked one of the more feeble ones that had been in the most fights. Most importantly, it had the fewest teeth which Noemi hoped would not come into play. The tiger was not bothered by Noemi collaring and leashing it. It was familiar with her at this point because it had been in the stables for so long. Around its neck, she tied a festive collar made from greenery with a few sprigs of holly sticking out, and secured the leash to its neck. Giving it a quick pet, the tiger nuzzled her leg. “Come on, old girl,” she said, “let’s get this over with.”
Dressed in her bright red winter cloak, walking into the agora was magical. It was almost as if she had been transported to another land she barely recognized. The decorations alone were magnificent. Every marble column had greenery wrapped around it, giant wreaths hung from the peak of every building, the ground was covered in pine needles with their fresh scent spreading through the agora as each person stepped on them, releasing their aroma into the air. And the cerei lit up the entire agora, placed in every window and on the steps of every building. You could barely get near Saturn’s temple the stairs were so overloaded with offerings pouring out into the streets.
At first when Noemi walked with the tiger through the crowd, no one paid her any notion. Probably because they couldn’t fathom such a dangerous beast would be allowed so near to them. She was about a third of the way into the agora when a few children first noticed the tiger, pointing and urging their parents to look. Some people quickly ran off, scurrying their children away, while most were intrigued and cautiously watched Noemi’s every move.
Her father had wanted her to interact the tiger with the crowd. She couldn’t really think of much other than petting the tiger and that really wasn’t thrilling. She decided on an old trick they used in training. Noemi rolled up the sleeve of her cloak exposing her arm. She put her arm in front of the tiger allowing it to put her arm in its mouth. The crowd gasped holding their breath to see what was going to happen to this poor girl’s arm.
Noemi feigned an injury, wincing to make it look like the tiger had bitten off her arm. A little dramatic, but it was getting the job done, she thought.
An audience had gathered around them now. Noemi milked it a few more minutes before gently tugging on the leash for the tiger to release her arm. She held up her uninjured arm displaying it for everyone to see and took a bow. Some people started clapping.
Whispers of sorcery and trickery could be heard.
“Who would like to try their luck with this ferocious tiger here?” Noemi asked the crowd as she prodded the tiger to give out a growl.
At first, no one stepped forward clutching their goods from the market and pushing their children behind them. She did not blame them. She felt like some cheap, desperate side show act. One man stepped forward, a slave—Noemi could tell by the way he was dressed, a black cloth adorning his tunic. He walked up to the tiger without fear, rolled up his sleeve, and put his arm in the tiger’s mouth. Just like with Noemi, the tiger was calm, did not bite, and released the arm on command.
Then people started lining up, one after the other to put their arms in the tiger’s mouth, cheering after each successful attempt. After a few dozen people, Noemi could tell the tiger had had enough. She didn’t want to push her, so she announced that was it for today and attempted to walk away when a loud, clearly drunk man stumbled his way in front of her blocking her path.
“How’s about I take a turn, little lady?” he slurred.
“Apologies, sir, we are done for the day,” Noemi responded trying to get around the guy. But the man wasn’t listening. He shoved his arm at the tiger’s mouth completely missing it and hitting her in the face.
Noemi tried to stop the tiger, but it was too agitated after the unexpected slap and chomped down on his arm for real, using whatever teeth it had left.
The man screamed, sobriety hitting him fast, as he tried to pull his arm out of its mouth. By the time Noemi was able to get control of the tiger the damage had been done. His severed fingers lay in a small pool of blood on the ground while the rest of his hand looked mangled beyond repair.
The crowd cheered, thinking this was part of the show while the man fell to the ground from both the shock and the alcohol. Noemi had to get the tiger back before something worse happened. Not really knowing what else to do, she bowed to the crowd quickly taking her leave back to the hypogeum, leaving the drunk man in the street clutching what was left of his hand, and hoping someone would come to his aid.
If the emperor was looking for a unique animal experience, he got one, Noemi thought. She safely returned the tiger to its pen giving it a little extra meat for its obedience and quickly returned to the forum. She figured she had helped her father enough for one day. Plus, she didn’t want to miss opening night of Saturnalia.
The streets were packed near the central piazza, everyone crowded around the Temple of Saturn trying to get a view of the statue. The closest she could get was the Arch of Septimius Severus. It wouldn’t be the best view of the opening ceremony, but a view nonetheless. Usually, her family would spend the day together in the forum setting up a blanket in the piazza to watch the festivities. Not this year, Noemi found herself alone what with her father bidding the emperor’s wishes and Livia not yet home.
She was a little melancholy that they were straying from tradition but realized things change and she should look at the positives. The ceremony started. The crowd began to light their cerei, thousands of candles held around the forum, a beautiful sight just as dusk was beginning to set.
Soft music began to play, echoing throughout the forum, as all eyes shifted to the player. A lone man, the Mock King, emerged from the temple of Saturn, a sickle in his hand ready to perform his duty of watching over the festival and breaking rules. He approached the statue of Saturn outside the temple steps where he used his sickle to cut through the woolen bonds tied around the statue’s feet that had been there for the year, thus signifying the loosening of the laws for the week of Saturnalia. As the sickle cut through the last of the bonds and they fell to the ground, the music sped up to a merry tune. The crowd cheered in unison, “Io Saturnalia.”
