The Singing, page 34
Veronica grimaced. ‘It is when you don’t have it,’ she said.
‘That’s true enough,’ Winsome conceded. ‘But you have it, so now what?’
Veronica’s shoulders slumped. ‘I don’t know,’ she whispered. ‘I’m living out of a suitcase in my daughter’s spare room, my husband keeps having affairs, I can’t go anywhere and do anything with this damned virus all over the place, and I…’ She trailed off. Shrugged.
‘Hearing my grandmother ask what has become of me has me questioning everything.’
She stood up again, rubbing her knuckles against her thighs. ‘Thank you,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘For listening to my ravings.’ Veronica made her mouth smile. She could feel tears threatening and no way was she going to turn into a blubbering mess in front of this woman. In front of anyone.
‘I think I need to get going,’ she said, and picked up her handbag. ‘Thank you again.’
Winsome watched her stride off down the path, then stood up. ‘Wait,’ she called. ‘You forgot your cake.’
Veronica glanced back over her shoulder, shook her head. Kept going.
Trying to see the path through a hot sheen of tears.
Winsome turned to look for the spirits, but they were gone.
Only Cù sat grinning at her.
44
Winsome picked up the two small cake boxes and walked across the churchyard to the vicarage. She supposed she ought to stop thinking of it as the vicarage, but it was going to be a hard habit to break.
She set the boxes on the table inside with a sigh then looked up at a shadow that crossed her doorway.
‘Hello Morghan,’ she said.
Morghan had a wide smile on her face. ‘Hello Winsome,’ she said. ‘What’s in the boxes?’
Winsome laughed. ‘I swear you can sniff out whenever there are biscuits or cake around.’
‘It’s a talent, for sure,’ Morghan answered with a grin. ‘Two of them? You are expecting a visitor?’
Winsome shook her head. ‘No, one of these belonged to Erin’s mother. I was just talking to her.’
‘I see,’ Morghan said. She leant against the doorway. ‘I met her just the other day.’
‘I know.’ Winsome gave Morghan a pointed look. ‘Which was, believe me, quite a topic of conversation.’
‘Ah.’
‘Mmhmm.’
‘She came to see me in an absolute state – wanting to take Erin away, accusing us of black magic of all things.’
Winsome put her hands on the back of a chair and gazed at her friend. ‘Is that why you did what you did to her?’
Morghan narrowed her eyes, although her mouth held its smile. ‘What did I do to her?’
‘Tore her composure completely apart.’ Winsome shook her head. ‘The poor woman is a complete wreck.’ She paused. ‘Tell me you didn’t do that deliberately.’
Morghan shifted slightly on her feet. ‘I confess that Veronica Faith did bring out a little of the…less patient part of me.’
‘She was just being a mother bear!’ Winsome said.
‘I did not channel her grandmother on purpose,’ Morghan finished. She pursed her lips. ‘But in saying that, I did not refuse her grandmother the opportunity to speak, either.’
Winsome stared at her silently for a moment, then shook her head again. ‘It is a fine line you walk sometimes, Morghan,’ she said. ‘And I say that as someone who loves you.’
Morghan thought of Catrin, of their meeting in the forest. Of Catrin laughing and telling her she had inherited a lot of herself.
‘It’s true,’ she said.
Winsome nodded. ‘It is true. That woman’s life has been broken wide open, because of you.’
Morghan shook her head. ‘Because of me, or because of what her grandmother had to say to her?’
‘You let her grandmother speak.’
Morghan shifted again, frowning.
‘Come in, for goodness’ sakes,’ Winsome told her.
Shaking her head, Morghan sighed. ‘This visit is just a detour, I’m afraid. I’m meeting Erin shortly. It’s time to teach her healing. She has been making great strides in her travelling to the Otherworld.’
Winsome raised an eyebrow. ‘Healing?’
‘I will take her to the clearing in the Wildwood, and teach her there,’ Morghan said. She thought for a moment. ‘Would you like to come too?’
Winsome was taken aback. ‘Erm, I don’t know.’ She put on a frown. ‘I’m still mad about the way you dealt with Erin’s mother.’
‘Really mad, or pretending to be mad?’ Morghan asked.
Surprised by the question, Winsome barked a laugh. ‘You didn’t lead her gently to the well, Morghan. You dunked her right in.’
Morghan inclined her head. ‘Yes. But it is not often that I get a spirit so strongly wishing to speak through me. It is not something I tend to do at all, really.’
‘And Veronica’s grandmother was right there?’
‘Right there and very insistent. In such circumstances, letting her speak seemed the right path.’ Morghan shrugged. ‘Obviously, I had no idea what she was going to say.’
‘Were you aware what she was saying while she was talking?’ Winsome shuddered lightly. It was bad enough seeing spirits – she wasn’t entirely sure she fancied the idea that they could pop in and use one’s vocal cords.
‘I was, but distantly so.’
Winsome sighed. ‘Well, considering I saw the woman in question, and the grandfather, in spirit form, while I was talking to Veronica, I suppose I can’t be too mad.’
‘Aha!’ Morghan said. ‘You saw them – I should have thought you might.’ She gave it a moment’s consideration. ‘Nope,’ she said. ‘Doesn’t surprise me at all. There’s a lot of healing that needs to be done in that family.’
‘Is that why you’re taking Erin to learn it now?’
‘Part of it, certainly,’ Morghan answered. ‘But this is the next stage for her anyway. The fact it might come in useful at home right about now is just the way the wheel turns.’ She smiled. ‘So, are you coming?’
Winsome gazed down at the table, sifting through all she had to do. She wanted to keep messing around with her website, which was becoming quite the joy as Krista taught her more, and she wanted to deliberate over how, exactly to use the rooms in the vicarage for her new plans.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I’m not doing anything that can’t be put off for this.’
Morghan beamed at her. ‘Excellent,’ she said. Her gaze fell regretfully on the cake.
‘Do you want me to bring it with us?’ Winsome asked, seeing exactly where Morghan was looking.
‘No,’ Morghan said. ‘We can ground ourselves back at Hawthorn House. Mrs. Palmer tries out all of Simon’s recipes anyway – do you know Simon’s putting together a recipe book?’
* * *
Erin sidled into the care home’s lounge room, already changed out of her uniform, and touched Wayne’s shoulder. ‘Good movie?’ she asked. ‘What is it?’
He wrinkled his nose. ‘No idea,’ he said. ‘I slept through the first hour or so. But it looks like the guy is going to get his girl.’ He frowned and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His abdomen throbbed with pain. ‘I think.’
Mrs. Sharp piped up. ‘It’s a time travel thing - and you, my friend, snore.’ She turned a brilliant smile on Erin. ‘Are you done for the day, love?’
‘I am, yes,’ Erin said. ‘And I come on for the afternoon tomorrow, so I’ll see you then.’ She patted Wayne’s shoulder and made her way out into the sunlight, turning up the street to nip through the churchyard and into the Grove. She’d been supposed to spend the afternoon with Stephan, but Morghan had called and changed her plans, so Stephan had simply swung by and taken Burdock.
It was dim and fragrant under the trees, and Erin hoisted the strap of her bag higher on her shoulder and wondered what was in store. It was good timing, really, because hadn’t she just that morning decided she needed to talk to Morghan about the City of Shadows?
‘Hello,’ she called, coming up to the stone circle where she was supposed to meet Morghan. ‘Oh, hello Winsome,’ she said. ‘Hi Clarice.’
‘Winsome has decided to join us,’ Morghan said. ‘And Clarice will be drumming for us.’
Erin raised her eyebrows. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘What are we going to be doing?’ She smiled at Winsome and Clarice.
‘We’re going to the cave, I think,’ Morghan said. ‘And from there, to the Wildwood. I’ve a place I wish to show you there, Erin. I believe it is time.’
‘That sounds…daunting,’ Erin said with a laugh, and fell into step behind Morghan. ‘I’ve been wanting to ask you about a place I’ve discovered,’ she said. ‘In the Otherworld.’
Morghan glanced back at her, bright enquiry on her face.
‘I went there this morning – remember how I told you Macha had taken me to this weird maze?’
‘I do,’ Morghan said.
Erin glanced at Winsome and Clarice, then looked back at Morghan. It was obvious that Winsome was following the conversation just fine, which meant, Erin thought, that Winsome knew more about the Otherworld than the average vicar. Obviously, she did, since Erin doubted she would have been able to seek Morghan and Blythe there so easily without Winsome’s help and steady calmness.
And Clarice had been wandering the highways and byways of the Otherworld since who knew what age.
‘Anyway,’ Erin continued. ‘There’s this place at the other end of the maze, and it has this big gate, and on the other side of it, is a really freaky city.’ She frowned, shook her head. ‘I call it the City of Shadows. The name just kind of came to me and it fits.’
Ahead of her, Morghan nodded. ‘This is why we’re doing this today,’ she said.
‘You know about the place?’ Erin asked, surprised.
‘I do,’ Morghan said. ‘And we will talk more of it soon.’
Erin and Winsome both took deep breaths before they ducked down into the cave the Grove used for journeying and keeping vigil. Erin added a whispered prayer.
‘Mother, welcome me into your womb and hold me safe.’
‘I’m never going to get used to this,’ she muttered once they were inside.
‘Still don’t like the cave?’ Morghan asked, moving around behind the firepit, and sitting down.
Erin glanced around. ‘I’m not as nervous as I was the first time,’ she said and looked over at Winsome. ‘I was sure the hill would come down on top of me,’ she explained.
‘Yes,’ Winsome agreed. ‘I felt rather the same way.’
‘Well, you’d best both get used to it,’ Morghan said. ‘The Otherworld is full of caves and tunnels. From what I’ve learnt over the years, it seems the quickest way to get from one region to another.’ She looked over at Clarice. ‘Isn’t that so?’
Clarice nodded, and she opened the bag she’d been carrying on her back and removed her drum.
Morghan reached into her Druid’s bag for a box of matches and lit one, holding it to the tinder in the pit. The flames caught and she smiled at the red tongues. ‘Erin,’ she said. ‘Any progress making fire as Kria did?’
Erin was startled by the question. ‘Um, no.’ She looked at the flames. ‘But then, I haven’t spent much time trying, either.’
‘I’m intrigued by the possibility of bringing that talent back,’ Morghan admitted. ‘I know from my own past experience, that such things and others are possible.’
‘Wait,’ Winsome interrupted. ‘Your past experience?’
‘Very past,’ Morghan said lightly. ‘Lifetime’s past.’
‘Oh,’ Winsome said, settling herself on the other side of the fire next to Clarice. ‘That makes more sense.’ She blinked at the fire as Morghan threw a handful of herbs upon it. ‘I wonder what I was in past lives?’
‘Perhaps you will one day explore some of them,’ Morghan said.
There was an overwhelming idea, Winsome thought. But, gazing around the ancient cave, and at the way the firelight flickered upon her companions, it was very hard to disbelieve in the possibility of past lives, of reincarnation, of souls that did not perish but returned to life over and over.
She nodded.
Morghan smiled over the fire at her, then looked at Erin. ‘There is a knack to travelling together,’ she said. ‘It is like entering the same dream, but it can be done, can it not, Winsome?’
Winsome nodded. ‘It can,’ she said. ‘You’ve taken me with you several times now.’ She glanced over at Erin. ‘And of course, you and I have done it together as well.’
‘Yes,’ Morghan agreed, taking a breath. ‘That is true. But now it is time that we learn this well, for as you go forward, being able to do these things will be essential.’
Erin licked her lips. ‘Like Stephan is learning healing from Bear Fellow?’ That was in the Otherworld.
Morghan tipped her head to the side. ‘There are similarities, certainly,’ she said. ‘Stephan is being taught important things – but mostly to do with healing the body.’ She blinked. ‘Your task is to learn to heal the soul.’
‘That’s possible?’ Erin asked, practically squeaking.
‘It is,’ Morghan said. ‘And more than that, it is essential. You’ve already done some of this work, with Kria, singing her over, returning that aspect of yourself home.’ She glanced at Winsome. ‘Both of you saw me doing the same thing for Blythe only several weeks ago.’
Erin blanched. ‘It won’t be like that, though, will it?’
Morghan didn’t hide her smile. ‘Seldom, I hope,’ she said.
Seldom. That was probably as good as it would get, Erin decided. She nodded, a lump in her throat. ‘Is this healing I have to learn going to be for myself?’ she asked.
‘We always begin with ourselves,’ Morghan said turning her head to smile at Clarice. ‘But ultimately, it is for your community.’
‘Really?’ Erin asked, flabbergasted. ‘We do this for other people?’
‘When it is necessary. Do you remember when Minnie was having trouble?’
Erin nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Of course.’
‘Winsome and I helped her then. That is, in part, the same sort of thing I will be teaching you now.’ Morghan fed another piece of wood to the fire.
Erin glanced over at Winsome, wondering how Winsome had come to do so much – more than Erin had realised.
Winsome gave a grimacing smile. ‘Morghan has been dragging me along on these escapades practically since the day we met.’
‘You have a calling for death work, I believe, Winsome,’ Morghan said.
‘What about me?’ Erin asked hesitantly. ‘Will I be learning that too?’
‘You will learn it all,’ Morghan said.
For some reason, the answer shocked Erin. ‘All of it?’ She stared around the circle, then back at Morghan. ‘All of it?’ she repeated.
‘Of course,’ Morghan replied.
‘Now, shall we begin?’
45
‘How do we do this?’ Erin asked, nervousness puffing up inside her and making her pulse quicken under the delicate skin of her wrist.
Morghan took Winsome’s hand and reached out for Erin’s. She smiled gently, already breathing slowly, deeply. ‘Like this,’ she said. ‘The same way I have taught you to travel, except this time, when you feel yourself leaving, you are to keep holding onto me.’
Clarice knew her cue and began drumming, softly, the beat quick, insistent. Ambrose had taught her this, when she was young, and she closed her eyes now, letting the sound of the drum sing its rhythm to her.
‘It’s just like we did it before, Erin,’ Winsome said, amazed that she felt so calm, that she was here doing this as though this was her new normal, and perfectly all right. ‘When we went to find Morghan. When she was with Blythe.’ The drumming quickened the pulse of her blood.
Erin nodded and slowed her breath. The atmosphere in the cave was thicker somehow, perhaps because of the herbs Morghan had scattered upon the flames. Or perhaps because she was feeling herself shift, the cave becoming a liminal place she could step into, the sound of Clarice’s drum calling to her. She held Winsome’s hand, and Morghan’s hand, and let herself go, travelling on her breath, on the beat of the drum, taking just a small step to the side.
The cave widened around her, grew shadows, and she looked over at Morghan, saw her sitting there, her spirit wide awake and looking back at Erin with eyes that were deep with knowledge. A wolf stood at Morghan’s side, gazing at Erin as though they saw right through her.
She turned her head through the smoky air and looked at Winsome, a smile curling her lips. Winsome’s spirit dog sat next to her, so similar to Burdock.
Where was Fox?
She had the thought and then Fox was there, her dainty paws glowing white in the cave’s dimness.
Morghan’s fingers tightened for a moment on Erin’s, and when Erin blinked, she opened her eyes to find herself standing in a different world, the drumming now a singing in her ears. The forest Morghan called the Wildwood. It towered green and ancient around her, the trees breathing, sighing. Erin listened to them, and the sighing became the hum of a song they’d been singing since before she was born. She reached out and touched the rough trunk of the nearest tree and felt a surge of energy up her arm as the tree greeted her in return. Erin closed her eyes. She loved this place, she decided. Being able to step through the thinning veil between the worlds was an incredible gift.
One, she vowed, she would learn to use well.
A long, large snake slithered out from the undergrowth and looked at the group of them, before turning its strong, sinuous body along the path.
‘We will follow,’ Morghan said. ‘The clearing is not far.’
‘The clearing?’ Erin asked.
Morghan nodded. ‘It is the place I come when there is need of healing.’
Erin nodded, but there was more she wanted to know. And hadn’t she come here to learn?
‘How did you find this place?’ she asked.
Morghan, walking along with one hand on her black wolf, thought about it for a moment. ‘It revealed itself to me,’ she said. ‘This world is like that. It brings what you need to you. That is why learning to follow your intuition is so important.’ She glanced back at Erin and Winsome. ‘There is already a part of us, I think, that knows this world well, and we need to find that part of ourselves and wake it up.’
