The Otherworld, page 26
‘This is going to look a little strange,’ she said. ‘And it’s in a public place, which I’m not used to.’
‘What exactly are you going to do?’ Dandy asked.
‘Every Lady of the Grove…’ Selena stopped talking and frowned a moment. ‘I suppose I’m still one.’
‘You’re definitely still one.’
She nodded. ‘Every Lady of the Grove has an affinity to trees, simply because of the fact that we practice alongside them. If we lived and practiced in a different type of landscape, then it would be otherwise.’
Dandy nodded. ‘Lady of the Cactus, perhaps.’ She laughed.
‘You may snigger,’ Selena said, smiling widely, ‘but that is perfectly possible. All creatures have things to teach, cacti included.’
‘I don’t doubt it,’ Dandy replied, but she was still grinning. ‘So, what are you going to do with the tree?’
Selena gazed upwards into the high branches again and patted the sturdy trunk. ‘I’ve come to know this tree,’ she said. ‘On my travels around the area.’
She’d thought that she would go to one of the oaks in the Botanic Garden, but this tree was better situated, and she resonated with it. They were both strangers in this land, and the tree stood sentinel over the graveyard, which was another sort of place altogether, the realm of the dead, and she could easily imagine the tree growing in the Otherworld as it did here.
‘I’m going to ask it to help…top up my energy levels. To give me a little of its tree magic.’
Dandy nodded slowly, giving the tree another assessing glance. ‘Well,’ she said. ‘You couldn’t have picked a finer, stronger specimen.’
‘Hopefully, it will agree to do so.’
This surprised Dandy. ‘They don’t always?’
‘Good heavens, no,’ Selena said and patted the tree again. ‘Trees have personalities almost as varied as we do. Some are more vigorous, some more dreamy. I need a vigorous tree to do what I’m about to – and this one has a great deal of wisdom as well.’ She smiled. ‘Perhaps it will share some of that with me also.’
Dandy nodded slowly, her mind buzzing. This was a thing that people did? That could be done? She’d heard of tree hugging before, but this was taking it to a whole new level.
It was very interesting, she thought.
‘I’ll head off any nosy passers-by,’ she said. ‘So that you’ll be as little disturbed as possible.’
‘I’d be grateful,’ Selena said. She was already turned to the tree, breathing slowly, letting herself relax and expand.
34
The sequoia’s bark was rough under Selena’s hands as she placed both against it and leaned in close. Her eyelids slid down, and she breathed in the clean, healing scent of the tree, letting herself sink deeper into its song with each breath out.
For the tree sang softly to itself, as it stood, guardian of the dead, in the old cemetery.
Its voice was low and deep, here in its dreaming, and Selena bowed deeply to it, greeting it, listening to its song.
She asked for her favour and the tree rumbled in pleasure at her request.
Certainly, it would fill her with its song, it told her. And began to hum, its sap rising as it sang, its energy rising from its roots, up toward its branches, and then down again, in its great looping life force.
Selena pressed palm and forehead against it, felt the energy pass into her, fill her, felt the buzzing humming life of it, and joined her own dreaming voice to that of the tree.
They sang together for a long time. How long, Selena didn’t know. It could have been the time it took for a seed to fall to the ground, or for the time it took for a sapling to reach full height. For a season, or for a moment.
‘Do you know what I plan?’ she murmured to it in the midst of their singing.
I do, the tree hummed back at her. And it sang its energy through her once more, for she had a great task and required the strength of a thick trunk, and the conviction and instinct of a tree who knew when to spring forth, and when to sleep and dream.
Dandy nodded at a dogwalker and her spaniel, and stood with her hands in her pockets, blocking Selena from interruption. The dogwalker gave them a curious glance and hurried on her way, the spaniel wagging his tail at her side.
Selena surfaced, kept her head pressed against the tree a moment longer, thanking it, giving it her blessing, then she stood back and sighed.
‘All good?’ Dandy asked.
Selena closed her eyes and breathed in. She felt the wind in her hair and felt strong and tall and full of the song of the seasons.
‘Yes,’ she said, opening her eyes. ‘Very much better.’
Dandy looked curiously at her. ‘You don’t look as tired either,’ she said. ‘Perhaps I should give that a go, considering how little sleep we had last night.’
‘Perhaps you should,’ Selena said, stepping to the side and gesturing at the tree.
Dandy was about to shake her head. After all, she’d been joking. She hadn’t meant it seriously.
‘What do you do?’ she asked.
‘Be quiet until you can hear the song of the tree,’ Selena answered. She touched her chest. ‘Slow your breathing, feel for the tree, for its energy, its voice, its song.’ She took another step from the tree and nodded. ‘Then ask what you need of it and listen to its answer.’
Dandy hesitated, thinking how silly she’d feel doing all that. But Selena really did look less tired. Her face had regained its quiet serenity.
‘Maybe I will,’ she said softly, and approached the tree, glancing around to see if the dogwalker was gone, if they were alone.
She placed her hands on the tree as she’d seen Selena do. Palms flat to it, then leaned in so that her cheek brushed against the reddish-brown bark.
‘Hello tree,’ she whispered, feeling foolish. She shut her eyes, remembering what Selena had said.
Breathe slowly, feel for the tree, listen for its voice.
She tried to breathe more slowly. Sucking in the scent of the tree, feeling its knotted bark against her skin. She held her breath a moment, let it out. Listened for the tree’s singing.
Couldn’t hear anything.
Dandy felt vaguely silly.
There was a touch on her shoulder, and Selena’s voice.
‘Hush,’ Selena said. ‘You’re making too much noise inside your head. Just breathe.’
Dandy breathed, and felt herself sink suddenly, and jerked her feet, steadied herself.
‘That’s it,’ Selena said. ‘Let yourself sink down into awareness of the tree and nothing else. Let it sing to you.’
Dandy swallowed, slowed her breathing again, and let herself flow down into the darkness behind her eyes. Except it wasn’t all darkness there. There was warmth, and something low and sweet there with her.
Something with a heartbeat that was deep and wide and vibrated through the world.
Was this what Selena had meant, this heartbeat?
Perhaps, Dandy thought, listening to it. Perhaps this was a sort of a song, for the heartbeat seemed to her to hold everything in the world within it. Its whole history, the history of the tree and its forest and all forests, for trees, she discovered, had long memories, and grew in many worlds.
She listened to the heartbeat until her own seemed to beat in time with it, and then she didn’t know how long she stood there, part of the heartbeat of the worlds.
Dandy blinked in the light when she drew away from the tree and looked stupidly around. Selena was standing next to her, one hand still on her shoulder, a smile on her face.
Dandy shook her head. ‘Did you hear that?’ she asked.
‘Hear what?’
Another shake of the head. ‘I heard the tree’s heart beating.’ She squeezed her eyes shut. ‘But trees don’t have heartbeats.’
‘Trees are one of the heartbeats of the worlds,’ Selena said. ‘They are the history keepers, the guardians of liminal space.’
‘Liminal space?’
‘The edges between here and there, this and that. Above and below. Inside and out.’
Dandy shook her head. ‘What did you do to me?’
Selena raised her eyebrows.
‘When you put your hand on me,’ Dandy said. ‘I wasn’t having any luck before that.’
‘I just helped you hear,’ Selena said. ‘Helped you go that bit deeper.’
‘How?’ Dandy gazed around, looking at the paths, and the gravestones, and feeling as though behind everything, there lurked something else now. Something more. Another world.
Worlds.
‘How can you do that?’ she asked. ‘Make me go deeper just by touching me?’
‘I am used to walking the worlds,’ Selena said. ‘I hold them within me all the time. Which,’ she smiled, ‘has taken many years of practice to perfect.’
Dandy shook her head slowly. ‘Learn something new every day,’ she said, then looked at Selena. ‘Is it time to go?’
Selena nodded. Natalie waited for them back at the house.
* * *
‘S’lena’s comin’,’ Clover announced, sliding off her chair at the table and running to grapple with the door to the garden. She swung around on the doorknob, barely able to turn it, and let go when it swivelled around under her hands.
‘S’lena!’ Clover crowed. ‘We made cake!’
‘That sounds yum,’ Selena said.
Dandy shook her head. ‘Wait a minute, munchkin,’ she said, narrowing her eyes. ‘What sort of cake?’
Clover grinned and did a little hopping dance. ‘Crunchy cake! Nat’lie knew the recipe off by her heart.’
‘Did she now?’ Selena asked. ‘That’s very clever.’
‘An’ it tastes real good,’ Clover said. ‘We saved you some.’
They went into the kitchen, a small procession led by a dancing child. Dandy sniffed the air appreciatively.
‘That smells marvellous,’ she declared.
‘It certainly does, doesn’t it?’ Tara replied, from where she was sitting at the table, her books spread in front of her, including her own large notebook where she was writing in the attributes associated with various herbs and flavourings.
‘Did you know,’ she said, ‘that every flower or plant or herb contains its own particular magick?’
‘Hmm,’ Dandy said, sitting herself down at the table and reaching to feel if the teapot was still warm. ‘I like the idea of that.’
Tara nodded. ‘Tea’s hot,’ she said. ‘I just made it.’
‘Where’s Natalie?’ Selena asked, pausing to pour herself a cup of tea too. She tapped Dandy on the arm. ‘You should have a piece of that cake,’ she said. ‘It will ground you after your small adventure.’
‘Your ‘venture?’ Clover asked.
‘Yes,’ Dandy said. ‘I had a go at being a tree for a while.’
Clover narrowed her eyes. ‘A tree?’
‘You betcha,’ Dandy said, eyes twinkling.
Tara looked at Selena. ‘Natalie is in her room, resting.’
‘How did she do this morning?’
Tara nodded. ‘Really well, I thought. Very skittish, but once we got to baking, she calmed down and seemed to relax. She’s a whizz in the kitchen. The police coming and taking her statement was a bit of a shock, but she coped well, I thought.’
‘I gave her my bear,’ Clover said, bouncing on her chair. ‘She got a bear, you see.’
Selena did see, and she smoothed her hand over Clover’s curls. ‘That was very kind of you.’
‘I take it the bear is one of Natalie’s spirit kin?’ Tara asked, hearing the words coming out of her mouth with a certain disbelief. She’d never known she would one day be speaking of spirit animals and so on with such casual acceptance.
Life had certainly deepened and widened and grown more beautiful, more meaningful.
‘Yup,’ Clover said, and nodded under Selena’s hand. She twisted around to look at Selena. ‘I played with little Nat’lie in her dream. We played with the baby bear.’
Selena gazed down at Clover, thinking for the hundredth time how broad the child’s gifts were. Everything she did was possible for others to do as well, Selena knew this, but Clover was able to perform without training, without years of practice. She wondered how this had come to be, what lives this soul had lived, because it was obvious that a great many skills had been learnt over time by it.
‘You played with little Natalie?’ she asked finally.
Clover nodded, feeling pleased with herself. ‘I like her,’ she said, then frowned. ‘She lives in the blanky tent, though.’ She gazed up at Selena. ‘Is it comfy ‘nuff in the blanky tent?’
‘I think we’ll have to find somewhere better for little Natalie than that,’ Selena said.
Tara shook her head at the same time that Clover was nodding at Selena’s answer.
‘Whoa there,’ Tara said. ‘You’ve gone right on by me – what do you mean Natalie lives in the blanky tent?’ There was consternation on her face.
Selena took a sip of her tea. She decided that discussing Natalie within this circle of those dedicated to helping her was not only acceptable, but probably required.
‘Natalie had something of a traumatic childhood, I think,’ Selena said softly, holding her teacup in one hand and stroking Clover’s curls with the other. ‘Part of her retreated then, to the safest place she could find, and is there still.’
Tara looked confused. ‘A blanket tent?’
Selena nodded. ‘She made it in a corner in her bedroom and retreated to it.’
Tara was appalled. ‘But,’ she said, then shook her head. ‘That’s terrible.’ She gazed at Selena. ‘That really happens?’
‘All the time,’ Selena said. ‘Once, in our long-ago societies, it would have been dealt with as a matter of course. But as we became more civilised…’ Selena raised her eyebrows. ‘We stopped that sort of thing, and as a result, there are a lot of us walking around who are not whole.’
Tara looked around the room, dismayed, then shook her head. ‘Can you help her?’ she asked Selena.
‘Yes,’ Selena answered. ‘I believe so. I am certainly going to try, although reintegrating her lost child is only part of what she requires. Important, but only one aspect of it all.’
Tara swallowed. ‘I want to help too,’ she said. ‘Tell me what I can do to help.’
Selena smiled. ‘You can teach her to be grounded and strong upon the earth she stands on.’
Tara blinked. ‘I know how to do that?’
Selena indicated Tara’s books. ‘You are learning it.’ She pointed at the drift of books on the table, and nodded. ‘I can tell from the way you are in the kitchen, that the lessons of these books are sinking in – that when you are cooking and baking for us all, the kitchen becomes your sacred space.’
Tara bent her head, thought about that, then nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I feel really grounded and present now, whenever I’m working on something in the kitchen. Really calm, and it’s like I see and do everything from a different perspective.' She shook her head. 'I don’t really understand it yet, but it’s really powerful.’
‘You’re working from your body and your heart, Tara,’ Selena answered with a smile. ‘Whenever we are up in our heads, listening to all the chatter that goes on in there, we tighten up, our hearts clench like a fist, and everything is more difficult. But when we relax into whatever we’re doing, and be mindful about it, calm and sweet, then our heart relaxes, blooms like a rose, and the moment is spacious enough to live a whole life in, and do a great deal of magic.’
Tara nodded, her face relaxing into an expression of joy.
‘This is where you start,’ Selena said, putting her hands on Tara’s shoulders and beaming at her. ‘This is where each of us starts. We cannot straddle the worlds if we are not strong in our own centre.’ She looked at the others in the room. ‘And that is where real magic is done – from the strong, centred heart. That is how we find our soul purpose, the flow of our lives.’
‘We’re all going to learn this,’ Selena said.
Clover looked up at her. ‘Even me?’
‘Even you,’ Selena said.
‘Everyone.’
35
Selena stopped quickly in her room, then went along the hallway and knocked quietly on Natalie’s door.
‘May I come in?’ she asked.
There was a reply almost too soft for Selena to make out, but she opened the door, stepped into the room, and closed the door behind her. She brought with her into the room the trees of the Wildwood, folding them around into a burrow, a cocoon of warmth and safety. She did it almost without thinking.
‘How are you, Natalie?’ she asked.
Natalie sat on the bed, back against the headboard, knees tucked up to her ribcage. She shook her head.
‘I think I ought to go home now,’ she said. Her brown eyes closed for a moment, then blinked open, wide and skittish. ‘You’ve been terribly kind,’ she said. ‘Helping me yesterday, and bringing me here, but I think I’m better off going home now.’
Natalie flicked her gaze away from Selena and looked at the painting beside the door instead. It was of a cottage in the woods somewhere.
Selena followed her gaze. ‘I like that picture,’ she said conversationally, easily, sitting down on the end of the bed. ‘I look at it and think what a lovely calm place to live.’
Natalie shook her head. ‘It’s Grandmother’s cottage in the woods,’ she said.
‘Grandmother’s?’
Natalie swallowed, tightened her arms around her knees. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘The Big Bad Wolf is on its way to it. He’s in the shadows in the woods somewhere.’
She turned her eyes from the picture, but they landed on Selena, so she dropped them and stared at the bedcover instead.
‘I really do think it’s time I went back home,’ she said.
‘Natalie,’ Selena said, and shifted slightly on the bed, wondering which was the best approach to take. ‘Do you like living the way you do? Not leaving the house?’
Natalie stared at her in surprise. Then shook her head disbelievingly. ‘Like it?’ she asked. ‘What’s there to like about it?’ She blew out a breath and looked away, stared at the floor. ‘I hate it.’
