Falling for the Enemy, page 16
Swallowing a lump in his throat, he put his hand on his father’s headstone.
He wanted one more talk with his dad. But that wasn’t possible. And really what would he say? Sorry I was douchey at the end of your life? Yeah, that wasn’t much of a conversation starter. He just quietly apologized to his father, hoping his soul had moved on and maybe he knew that his son finally had let go of the bitterness that he’d been harboring all these years.
He finally stood up, putting his hands in his back pockets as he turned to the other headstone. This...he was dreading. He had so many complicated feelings toward Dec. His older brother. The guy who’d taught him to ride his bike, let him have his first underage sip of beer and had comforted him when their mother had died. No matter that he’d been killed in a car crash, Kit had still looked up to him.
But he couldn’t...not anymore. Not after learning what he had done to Rory. He sighed, wanting to kick Dec’s headstone but knew that would be useless. Instead, he crouched down and leaned in close as if somehow Dec’s spirit was trapped in the headstone. “How could you do that? How could you be the kind of man who took your anger and disappointment out on a girl? That sweet, brave, remarkable girl. I don’t pretend to understand any of your actions.”
He shook his head as angry tears burned his eyes. “You were always my hero, Dec, not because you were perfect or anything like that. But because you were my brother and I thought you were better than what you became.”
Kit stood up, realizing this wasn’t going to bring him closure. He was going to have to talk to Rory and hopefully find a way to ask for her forgiveness for Dec’s actions. And then he was going to have to let go of this familial bond that he’d used as his guide all these years.
He wiped his eyes with his gloved hand and heard the sound of footsteps behind him. He turned to see Aunt Mal standing there in her fake fur coat and those ridiculously high-heeled boots she loved to wear.
“Thought I’d find you here.”
“I’m surprised to be here. I don’t know why I came,” he said gruffly. Honestly, he didn’t. He knew they were both still dead and had been for years. But at the same time he needed to talk to them. Needed to find some understanding and some peace.
“You always thought your father let you down and that if Dec had lived things would have been different,” she said, coming up to him and looping her arm through his. “I think I did, too.”
“I wish I’d been easier on Dad.”
“I know you do,” she said. “I feel the same. I hated that he was so weak and let addiction take control. I still sort of do. But Dec...”
“I can’t forgive what he did,” Kit blurted. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to.”
“I think we are both entitled to that,” she said.
“I just always wanted to be like him,” he said at last.
“You’ve never been like Declan or your father. You’ve always been the best parts of them. I know you think that they shaped the man you are today and in a way their deaths did, but you have always been a strong, honorable man.”
“Except for our revenge plan,” he added, but his aunt’s words helped him more than he’d expected.
“We stink at revenge. Our big plan to buy up property, fix it up and then make sure that the town thrives so that the Gilberts know they aren’t needed... I mean I’m pretty sure other people seeking vengeance would be embarrassed by us,” she said ruefully.
He smiled and turned to hug her. “I love you, Aunt Mal.”
“I love you, too, nephew.”
Kit said goodbye to his aunt and headed back to Gilbert Corners, realizing that he’d done enough waiting. He needed to apologize and see if Rory could forgive him. He loved her and it was time to come clean about how he truly felt.
* * *
Kit texted to ask if he could come and see her. Rory responded yes. She had wanted to say more, but really in person would be better than text. She wanted to see his face when he answered her questions.
And she just wanted to see him.
Despite everything that happened between them, she’d finally admitted to herself she was in love with him. She wanted him to be in love with her, too, and she had already come up with too many different scenarios where he might say he cared for her when his feelings were motivated by guilt. He’d lied to her and she knew he felt bad about that. He’d apologized the last time she saw him.
But she hadn’t spent ten years of life sleeping not to spend the rest of it wide-awake. So that meant taking risks. It was funny that she’d thought she’d been taking risks all this time, but until she’d admitted to loving Kit she knew she hadn’t been.
She’d taken some chances but they’d always been with a safety net. And love was the biggest risk of all.
When the doorbell rang, her heart leaped into her throat, her pulse started racing and she shook her head. She had to calm down. This might be him just coming clean and clearing up the past. He might not be back here because he felt the same way about her as she did about him.
Ugh.
Rory stood at the front door, taking deep breaths and trying to rein in her emotions. She was so nervous and she hadn’t been before. Well, other than that one day when she’d walked up to him and told him to pretend to be her friend. She’d been nervous then. The same man was making her feel that way again.
She couldn’t help remembering how he’d smiled and gone along with her. And how that smile had made her feel—
“Rory?”
“Yeah, just need a minute,” she yelled through the closed door.
“Take as long as you need.”
She turned and rested her back against the wall. That right there was why she knew she wanted to believe every word he said. He was always so calm and understanding. And finally something that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding on to was set free.
In the pit of her stomach had been a knot of worry that Kit would be like Declan, now that she knew they were brothers. That stress and anger would make him react the way his brother had. Even though she’d always felt safe with him.
But this was the real Kit. This man who would stand on her doorstep all day waiting until she was ready. Until she was calm.
How could she not love this man?
She unlocked the door and opened it. A blast of cold air swept into her foyer and around her. Kit’s hair was wet, making it curl around his face. His dark eyes seemed sadder and more serious than ever. He had stubble on his jaw, which just made her palms tingle from wanting to touch him.
Her arms ached to wrap around him and pull him close, but she didn’t want to make a disastrous assumption. He might not be anything like his brother but that didn’t mean he loved her.
Kit had come to Gilbert Corners and into her life for a very specific reason. She wasn’t sure that falling in love with her had any part in his plans.
“Come in,” she said after a minute, carefully stepping back and holding the door open for him. The need to touch him was so strong she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to resist it. “Um, I guess we can go in the kitchen to talk...”
“Thank you.” He shrugged out of his jacket but carried it with him down the short hallway to the table in her kitchen.
Rory hesitated as she saw him there, remembering the last time he’d been in her kitchen and how everything in her life had changed. She wasn’t sure she was ready for another upheaval. As much as she wanted him in her life, she knew that she wanted him on her terms.
And she wasn’t going to back down from them. She wanted Kit but he had to be honest. He had to be the man she thought he was.
Rory took another deep breath and realized that the panic she’d felt before she opened the door was gone. She was oddly calm. Squaring her shoulders, she sat down at the table, gesturing for him to sit across from her. “I know you have something to say but would you mind if I asked you something first?”
He shook his head. “Not at all.”
“Were you in my room the day I woke from my coma?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” she asked.
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest and then let them drop to his sides. “I came to talk to you. When I heard you were in a coma all these years and learned about the curse, I thought my actions were going to make a change. I told you that I was going to break the hold the Gilberts had on GC. But mostly I just talked to you about that first summer we met and how your kindness was the reason I wanted GC to be prosperous again. Your kindness had helped me all those years ago, and I wanted to pay it forward.”
Seventeen
Kit was glad that he could finally tell Rory about being in her room the day she woke from her coma. He hadn’t planned to stop by to see her but in a way he’d felt that she’d been another victim of Dash’s. And he’d wanted her to know he was taking care of her brother for her.
He now knew different.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” she asked after a few minutes.
It was hard for him to defend why he’d kept silent. Probably because his main focus had been on the big lie he was keeping. That he didn’t trust her brother. That he wasn’t sure how he could move forward with his plan and keep her safe. That once he realized the man who hurt her was his brother, he didn’t want to make things worse.
“How could I? I had planned to keep my distance from you, but—”
“I came up to you and said just go along with me,” she said. She put her arms on the table and leaned forward.
He couldn’t help but remember his surprise in that moment. He still didn’t know if it had been fate or luck or what. But whatever it had been was what he’d needed. It was almost as if everything had happened the way it had for a reason.
So he could find out the truth about their families’ complex history and find a way to bring some closure to both of them.
He laced his hands together in his lap to keep from reaching out and touching her. He couldn’t help it. It felt like it had been a lifetime since he’d held her. He missed her. So damn much. And seeing her now, she seemed tired but she also looked strong and healthy. He was proud of how much she’d changed since she’d moved into her home here.
“Yes. And then everything I had planned went out the window,” he admitted a bit sheepishly.
“What was your plan exactly?” she asked.
“Well, funny you should ask. It was sort of a make Gilbert Corners awesome and then say ‘see, Dash Gilbert, we don’t need you.’”
She shook her head and smiled. He felt a zing all the way to his groin. She had the best smile.
“Great revenge plan, not,” she deadpanned. “I can understand why you wanted to get back at Dash and Gilbert International, so of course you couldn’t tell me who you really were. But I’m struggling to be okay with the fact that you lied to me.”
He reached for her hands then, taking them in his. “I’m sorry I did. I didn’t know how to tell you who I was, and that was before I knew that Dec had hurt you. I can’t forgive him for that. I don’t know how you could ever accept me into your life knowing he’s my brother.”
She turned her hands under his and pulled them back, and the hope that had been growing in his heart stuttered to a stop. But of course he’d respect her wishes. He might have to spend the rest of his life in unrequited love with her but he wasn’t going to be the second Orr man to take something from her that she didn’t want to give.
“When I look at you, Kit, I see a man who is so different from Declan. That night is such a foggy memory that it doesn’t have the power to hurt me. You are more real to me. I’ve never felt threatened by you. I’ve always felt safe,” she admitted.
“I’m so glad to hear that. Can you ever forgive me for lying?” he asked.
She just looked over at him with her eyes wide and serious. He didn’t know if words would be enough to convince her to believe him.
Kit got up and came around to her side of the table, dropping down on his knees next to her chair and taking her hands into his. He had always been afraid to admit how he felt, afraid to be vulnerable in a way that emotions always made him feel.
“I love you, Rory Gilbert, with my entire being. I know that it’s going to take time for you to learn to trust me again. But I will do whatever I need to in order to make that happen.”
She turned toward him but he stayed where he was. He needed her to hear this. He needed to tell her everything that was on his heart and mind.
“You might have asked me to help you take risks and learn to live again. But the truth is you were the one who taught me about living. You made me let go of the past and start to see myself—and the world—in a new light.”
“Kit...”
She put her hands on his face and brought her mouth down to his. Her kiss was soft and tentative at first and he let her set the tone, but she tasted so good and he wanted her. With every cell in his body. He wanted her love, her happiness and her forgiveness.
He wanted this woman in his arms and in his life.
When she lifted her head, he waited for the rush of lust to pass so he could talk.
“I don’t know if you can love me, but I am willing to wait as long as it takes until you do.”
Kit stood up and looked down at her. He remembered the first time he’d taken her for a walk in the rain around her backyard. The first time he’d kissed her. His life had changed in that moment. He hadn’t realized it then, because he had been too focused on trying to figure out how to keep Rory safe while bringing down Dash.
He should have known that there was no way he could hurt anyone she cared about. No way he could tear apart anything that mattered to her. She was the only thing that mattered to him. Her love and her happiness. He had to find a way to convince her of that.
She licked her lips and then stood up next to him. His heart was beating so loudly it was a pounding in his ears.
* * *
There was no doubting Kit’s sincerity. She just had to trust herself to accept him. To say yes to this. And it felt riskier than anything else she’d ever done. He loved her. That almost made her more afraid.
He loved her.
She had to repeat it to herself because it was so hard to believe that he’d said the words. And how they made her feel. She stopped thinking about all of the bad energy that had been surrounding her family, and Kit’s, since the night of the winter gala and the accident.
She stopped thinking about the fact that everyone thought there was a curse on her family and this town; and that the last person who anyone would have expected to break it were outsiders. But they had. Indy, Elle and now Kit had all done their part to bring love back into the lives of herself, Conrad and Dash. She knew that without love there could be no change.
Not for herself and not for Kit.
He’d dedicated his life to avenging his brother and father and when he’d realized he had the wrong idea, he’d changed. He’d started to question those long-held beliefs and he’d fallen in love with her.
But he was watching her and she remembered how she’d felt when she’d first learned he’d lied about who he was and why he’d come into her life. And as much as she’d wanted to lean into being angry and hurt and let that dominate her, she couldn’t. Because she loved this man more than she’d known she could love another person.
“Rory?”
“Kit.”
“Woman, you’re killing me here. Did what I said mean anything to you?”
She put her hands on his face. She just liked touching him and holding him. “It meant everything.”
She took a deep breath and leaned her forehead against his. “I love you, too.”
The words, once they were said, weren’t as scary as she’d thought they would be. “I’m not sure how we move forward from here. But I want to.”
Kit lifted her off her feet and spun her around in his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tightly but letting her head fall back as she laughed. Love was flowing through her body, joy washing over her and making it impossible not to smile and laugh.
“We can figure it all out. As long as we love each other.”
He set her down carefully. “When I came to Gilbert Corners... I’m not going to lie—I had a lot of hate in my heart for your family and this town.”
“I get it,” she said. “Dash won’t admit it but I think he felt the same way. Con definitely hated GC and he avoided it as much as he could.”
“What about you?” he asked softly. “I never really asked how you feel about the town and everyone thinking your family was cursed.”
“I was sleeping, wasn’t I? So I didn’t really know about the curse or the town. I think because I missed all of that and am here now, experiencing the rebirth of Gilbert Corners and my new family... Well, I like it here,” she said. “I think that’s because of you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, from my first day here on my own, you were there with a smile and stories and a helping hand, even though I was a stranger.”
“But you weren’t,” he said. “You were that sweet girl who smiled at me that long-ago summer day.”
He put his arms around her, holding her close to him. This felt so good. So right. She leaned her head on his shoulder and found tears burning the backs of her eyes. She hadn’t been sure she’d ever be in his arms again. And loving him the way she did, it hurt to think that she might have missed out on Kit.
“I missed you,” she said quietly.
“I missed you, too,” he admitted. “I thought about all the reasons you wouldn’t want me back—and there were a lot. I thought about how I had used Dash’s actions to rationalize trying to take him down. You’d be justified to do the same.”
