Hex Appeal, page 19
‘Did you sleep?’ he asked, and she nodded, chewing and swallowing. The biscuits were like cardboard.
‘Yeah. For half the day. And I still feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.’
‘You were witching pretty hard there.’
‘Witching? It’s a verb now?’
His eyes were warm. ‘Is there one you’d prefer?’
‘Witching works for me.’
‘It sure does.’
The conservatory was warm and fragrant, and Josh’s arm felt exactly right around her.
‘You saw the ledger?’ she said.
‘Yeah. Matthew Hopkins, self-proclaimed witchfinder general, is my ten times great-grandfather.’ Josh stared at the tall, dramatic flowers of the sarracenia, which were beginning to smell like cat piss. ‘That sucks.’
‘Hey. You’re not him.’
‘He murdered hundreds of witches.’
‘He murdered hundreds of people. Probably very few of them were witches,’ corrected Essie.
‘Witches would fight back?’
‘I don’t suppose any of his victims gave in without a fight,’ Essie said. ‘But how could any of us fight back without revealing ourselves? If I’d tried to freeze him when anyone else was watching, don’t you think someone would have noticed?’
‘Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.’
‘That’s about the size of it.’
Josh said, ‘I looked up Mistress Agatha too. She raised the boy in that house until there was a fire, maybe ten years later. Then they moved to Brook Manor Farm.’
‘Your house?’
‘My house.’
Essie thought about the witch ball in the upstairs room of Josh’s house, the one that had smashed and broken just after he’d moved in.
‘Did you ever take a picture of that parchment inside the witch ball?’ she asked.
He seemed surprised she’d asked. Essie knew it wasn’t coincidence that made him keep forgetting.
‘Uh, sure. Hang on.’
He dug his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through it. ‘Here. I can’t make out the words.’
Essie could. She wasn’t an expert in reading old handwriting, but the words leaped off the page at her in a way that had nothing to do with her eyes.
I, thee right and goodlye Hopkins, do swear withall to abjure thee Devil and all who worshipe him and more I will see clearlye those beldams who are so ungoodlye and they never will cross this threshold or seat at my hearthe and never will I fall prey to they tricks and knavery this I swear.
The words made bile rise in her throat, and she had to look way for a moment.
‘Essie?’
‘Yeah.’ She swallowed. ‘Yes. I’m fine.’
‘Does it mean anything to you?’ Josh asked.
Essie frowned at the screen. There were bloodied fingerprints in a cluster at the bottom, like a terrible finger painting. One of them, she was fairly sure, would be Josh’s.
‘One of your ancestors wrote this,’ she said. ‘I-I can’t read it out loud. I physically can’t,’ she said, looking up at him. ‘It won’t let me. Honestly, it makes me feel a bit sick.’
‘Then I’ll delete it,’ said Josh, and she shook her head.
‘No. It’s important you know what it is so you can decide what to do with it.’ Essie took a couple of deep breaths. ‘It says, basically, that you reject the Devil and his followers, and that you wish to be able to see witches clearly. That we’re never to be allowed across your threshold or to sit at your hearth.’
Josh was silent a moment. ‘That’s why you had to ask to be invited in?’
‘Yes.’
‘Every time?’
‘Yes. It also says you will never be deceived by any of our tricks.’
‘Well, I haven’t been,’ said Josh. ‘I don’t think I was deceived by you doing that binding spell, or moving us through time, or freezing the door…’
‘And the house’s perception spell has never worked fully on you,’ Essie said. ‘You kept remembering me, right from that very first day.’
Josh frowned down at her in honest bewilderment. ‘Essie,’ he said. ‘How could anyone ever forget you?’
Essie’s heart leaped.
‘When we were in that cellar, I swear to God I didn’t know if we’d ever get out. I had no idea what to do. And you were just so… cool.’
Essie laughed. ‘I have never in my life been called cool.’
‘Then everyone you know is an idiot. You were taunting Hopkins. It was amazing.’
‘It probably wasn’t wise,’ Essie said. She wouldn’t have been very surprised if he’d snapped and turned on them in the cellar. And then she’d probably have had to freeze him to death, which wouldn’t have been ideal.
‘It was fun though,’ said Josh. His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.
She smiled back. ‘Yeah. It was.’
His arm was warm on her shoulders, and just the right weight. His bandaged hand cupped her shoulder, thumb stroking gently. Essie could feel his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest, the beating of his heart. Around them, the conservatory was heavy with the scent of plants ripening and bursting into life.
She wasn’t a witch who had any particular affinity with seeing the future. The odd premonition, sure, and the feeling after an event that she’d known it was going to happen.
But right now she could see the future very, very clearly.
Josh cleared his throat. ‘That first night you walked me home. You were so confident. Like you were exactly where you should be, all the time.’
‘Well, I know this place pretty well.’
‘It was more like it reshaped itself around you. Like if there was a stone that was going to trip you up, it just moved instead.’
She laughed. ‘I don’t have that sort of power.’
‘Don’t you? I’m pretty sure you could do anything.’
She’d turned towards him at some point. Her breasts against his ribcage. Her hand on his chest. His heart was beating fast.
She wanted him. And this time she was sure it was going to happen right. This time she could be herself, and she could have what she wanted. This was Josh, and he knew who she was.
‘And then you kissed me,’ he said, in what was probably supposed to have been an off-hand tone.
‘I thought you kissed me,’ she said. A cluster of butterwort flowers nearby seemed to throb with colour.
‘Well, I was going to, but you got there first,’ Josh said, slightly exasperated.
‘Because I knew what you were planning.’
‘Another witchy power?’
Essie laughed and looked up at him. ‘No. Josh, it was written all over your face.’
‘It was?’ His voice was hoarse.
‘I’m pretty sure it was written all over mine too,’ she said.
His eyes met hers. His heart was really pounding under her palm. ‘It was a really good kiss,’ he whispered.
‘Yeah?’
‘And… that one in the meadow…’
His face was so close to hers they were sharing the same breath. Heat rose between them. A sundew tendril snaked over Essie’s foot.
‘That wasn’t a good kiss,’ Essie breathed, and the joy suddenly slid from Josh’s face. She felt the shock ripple through him, and the shame, and he turned his face away from her, his whole body stiffening.
Essie cupped his jaw and turned him back to face her. ‘Firstly, it was an amazing kiss,’ she said, and his eyes reluctantly swivelled in her direction.
He swallowed. ‘And secondly?’
‘And secondly,’ Essie said, moving so more of her body touched more of his, ‘it was much more than a kiss.’
Her lips touched his, and Josh groaned and kissed her back. The arm he had around her shoulders curved around, pulling her closer, and when she slid her thigh over his he ran his other hand all the way up it.
‘Yes,’ gasped Essie. She needed him to touch her. All of her. All that time she’d been sitting beside him in that terrible cellar, all the time she’d fought and argued with him, all the jokes and flirting over the pub table – all of it had been leading to this and she felt as if she’d always known it.
Josh pulled her on top of him, the bench creaking under their weight. Essie wouldn’t have cared if it collapsed. His hand was on her back, pressing her closer to him, as if she needed any encouragement. Her fingers burrowed into his thick hair, the sensation of it against her fingers making her shudder. He was like fire under her hands.
She was wearing too many clothes. Josh’s hand was on her back but there was too much in the way, she needed to feel his hands on her bare skin. She fumbled with the catch of her dungarees and released the straps, and Josh growled in approval as his hand found the bottom of her t-shirt.
Yes. That was what she needed. His fingertips on her spine sparked a wave of shivers that had her trembling against him. Heat pulsed through her.
‘Yes,’ she mumbled against his lips. ‘More.’
His eyes smiled at that, even as his hands were pulling her t-shirt up, and Essie tore her mouth from his long enough to toss the offending garment over her head, where a giant flytrap snapped shut over it.
Josh stared at her bra and swallowed. Essie hadn’t intended to put on a pretty bra today, but maybe she really had known what was going to happen because it was a nice one, with lace and a little flower between the cups.
‘Yesterday,’ he said hoarsely, gaze glued to the rise and fall of her breasts, ‘in that corset. I thought I was going to go blind every time you breathed.’
Essie trailed her fingertips over the slight roughness of his cheek. ‘I still have it in my bedroom,’ she said, and Josh made a whimpering sound and dived in to kiss the slopes of her breasts.
Essie decided to assist him in this by reaching back and unfastening her bra. Josh mumbled something that sounded like, ‘Oh god, the freckles go all the way down,’ and took her nipple into his mouth.
‘Yes,’ she breathed. ‘Josh. Yes.’
‘I have been fantasising about these,’ he said, looking up at her with unfocused eyes. His hands cupped and shaped her breasts. ‘They’re even better than I hoped.’
Essie laughed, which made her breasts jiggle, which made Josh moan softly.
‘Your turn,’ she said, plucking at his shirt, and he nodded and grabbed clumsily at the fabric. His eyes were still glued to her breasts, however, and he didn’t really seem to be concentrating.
Essie climbed off his lap and let her dungarees fall to the floor, standing there in just her knickers, and Josh pretty well clawed his own clothes off. He stood up to get rid of his jeans, and nearly tripped over his own feet.
‘Careful,’ said Essie, steadying him. ‘I need you in one piece.’
‘You’ve got as many pieces of me as you want,’ Josh promised, and took her in his arms to kiss her again. But now his chest was bare and so was hers, and her thigh brushed against the hairs on his leg and made her breath come faster, and her hips—
‘Oh, fuck,’ said Josh, and drew back.
‘What?’ He had a lovely chest, well-defined without being overdeveloped, dusted with dark hairs that felt really good against her skin –
‘I don’t have… anything,’ he said. If she’d thought he looked crestfallen before it was nothing to his expression now. ‘There’s probably an expired condom in my wallet, which is in my jacket in Siena’s room—’
Essie silenced him with a kiss. She wanted to tell him they didn’t need anything, that she’d be a poor witch if she couldn’t sort out her own contraception, but she knew that wasn’t the point. ‘Look in your pockets,’ she said.
‘But these aren’t my clothes—’
‘Avery altered them for you. To give you what you need.’ And Avery was very good at manifesting exactly what was required when it was required. Essie thought about their knowing expression in the kitchen. She hadn’t been the only one who’d known this was coming.
Josh looked highly sceptical, at least right until he produced a condom from the pocket of his borrowed jeans.
‘But?’ He looked up, and saw Essie had taken off her knickers.
‘Ask and ye shall receive,’ Essie said, and pushed down his boxers. ‘And boy, did I ask for the right thing,’ she said, grinning up at him.
Josh went a bit pink, but he let her take the condom from him and roll it on, and then she was pushing him onto the bench and climbing on top of him, and Essie looked down and saw the same hunger on his face she knew was on hers.
‘Yes?’ she said, rocking her hips against him. This time would be good. This time she’d get it right.
‘Yes,’ breathed Josh, and Essie took him inside her. ‘Oh, christ, yes.’
She kissed him as she rode him, licked the sweat from his skin and gasped as he tried to kiss as many of her freckles as he could. Heat rose around them, a dense fog of lust, and Essie laughed as she discarded her steamed-up glasses.
Josh laughed back, sweaty and dishevelled and absolutely gorgeous. Essie tasted that laugh, drank it down and fed on it. She didn’t know if she’d ever laughed with a lover before. She was getting drunk on it.
‘Essie, I’m close,’ he murmured, and she nodded, because she was too. The tension was building inside her, and any minute now it would snap –
– snap and freeze, and then he’d scream and she’d cower and sob and –
‘Essie?’
But this wasn’t Sean, and she wasn’t in some dingy student digs, she was with Josh and she could control herself now. She was in control.
‘Yes,’ she gasped. ‘Josh, yes.’
‘Are you?’
‘I’m almost there,’ she told him, and she was, or at least she nearly had been. She closed her eyes, but then she saw Sean’s horrified face, and opened them again. There was Josh, gorgeous and sweaty and right there inside her, and if she just…
‘Essie,’ he gasped, and she willed herself to go with him.
But the moment was lost, and while Josh tipped over the edge, gasping her name, all she could do was hold him and curse herself.
A sticky plant tendril grasped her ankle, and she kicked it away, irritated and miserable.
She could still feel the tremors running through his body as he lifted his head and said, ‘Are you okay?’
Essie smiled and lied. ‘I’m great,’ she said.
‘But you didn’t…’
‘It’s fine.’
‘But I thought—’ Josh slid his hand over her back, and she shivered pleasurably at his touch. Her body reminded her he was still right there inside her, and maybe there was something they could do with that. ‘Okay, so how about if we—’
‘No.’ She flinched away, and Josh frowned up at her. She saw the last of his pleasure fade away, and hated herself for it.
‘What’s wrong?’
The heat of the conservatory felt suddenly oppressive, the heady scent of the plants oppressive. ‘There’s something I should probably tell you,’ she said.
Chapter Fifteen
Essie’s bedroom was surprisingly normal. Josh didn’t know exactly what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t floral wallpaper and Ikea bookshelves. There were several half-drunk mugs of tea going gently mouldy on the table by the bed, and teetering piles of paperbacks everywhere.
She picked a large grey cat up off the bed and hugged him as she gestured to Josh to take a seat. The cat eyed Josh smugly. See which one of us is getting the hug.
Her t-shirt had ended up being eaten by one of the rapacious plants, so Josh had offered her his shirt as they left the steamy conservatory. She’d refused it, all of a sudden distant and tense, and crossed her arms over the front of her dungarees instead. Josh realised he’d never seen her this unsure before.
He had no idea what had gone wrong. Everything had been going extremely well – more well than he could ever remember it going before, as a matter of fact – and then right at the finish she’d suddenly withdrawn from him, shut down and given up.
He sat down on her bed, which had a duvet cover patterned with cats wearing sombreros, and looked up at her.
‘Essie,’ he said. ‘We’ve travelled through time together. We’ve survived a witch hunt. And we just had what was nearly the best sex of my life. Can you please tell me what’s going on?’
‘Nearly?’ she said. The cat grumbled, and she let him go. Josh realised she was trembling slightly.
‘Well, yeah. Right up until the end,’ he said. He held out his hand to her. ‘Did I do something wrong?’
She shook her head vehemently. ‘No. It wasn’t you. You were… you were perfect.’ She sighed. She looked near tears. ‘You are perfect.’
‘I’m really not,’ he assured her. ‘Come and sit down and talk to me. Please.’
She took a step forward, then hesitated, her fingers twisting around each other. Finally she sat beside him, then immediately moved further away.
Ten minutes ago they’d been gloriously naked together, as close as two people could physically be, and now she couldn’t even look at him.
‘Essie?’
She nodded, and swallowed a couple of times, and said, ‘So you saw what I did with the door. In the cellar.’
‘You froze it,’ said Josh. ‘I guess… the wood contracted as it got colder?’
‘Yes. And then I used my magic to bind Hopkins in ice.’
‘It was,’ Josh tried to think of a word that wasn’t terrifying and came up with, ‘impressive.’
‘Ice is the thing I do,’ Essie said glumly. ‘Blessing nurtures things and brings them to life. Avery manifests things into reality. I make things cold.’
Essie, who smelled of snow and pine and performed a ritual to welcome in the winter. She was basically the Snow Queen. But she’d never made him cold. Josh vividly remembered the heat of her mouth, the slick sweat on her skin, the warmth of her surrounding him.
‘I can do it when I want to, but sometimes it happens without me trying. The weather suddenly goes bad, or there’s a ground frost in June. When I’m upset, or excited, or just not really in control of myself.’
She gave him a meaningful look. It was the first time she’d looked directly at him since she’d put her clothes on.
