Sandor, page 26
“Why don’t you get cleaned up?” My mother came out on the patio. “We’re going to have some people coming by and I’d like to get some pictures with my girls.” She raised a finger when I started to protest. “I love you just the way you are, Lennox, but you know damn well you don’t want our first family photos in years to be with you in a ratty old tank top and with your hair up in a messy bun. Go clean up, put on a pretty blouse. That’s all I ask.”
She was right. If we were taking family photos, I couldn’t be dressed like I just rolled out of bed. “All right. I’ll jump in the shower.”
* * *
I was ready in less than half an hour since I took the time to dry and curl my hair. I put on a layer of mascara and some lip gloss, but that was the extent of my primping. I’d brought a black denim miniskirt that was both cute and comfortable, and a tank top that had sequins on it since I’d known my mother would want pictures. I slid my feet into black, low-heeled sandals and walked out into the living room.
“Much better.” Mom smiled. “Are you hungry?”
I shrugged. “Not really.”
“The broken heart diet,” Harlow sighed. “Been there, done that. But come on, how about we share a bagel? Just put something in your stomach to soak up that gallon of coffee you’ve had.”
“Yes, Mom,” I teased.
Harlow put a bagel in the toaster oven and I poured myself another cup of coffee. Was this the fifth? Sixth? I was drinking way too much caffeine but I had to get through today and the guests that were apparently coming in and out all day.
“I’m sorry there aren’t any gifts for you,” Mom said, standing beside me. “If I’d known you were coming…”
“It’s fine.” I smiled. “I don’t need anything. Really.”
“Maybe we can go shopping tomorrow? You could probably use something practical like new slippers since it gets cold over there, or mascara? Something you don’t have much time to shop for?”
I wanted to say no, I didn’t need anything, but she was trying really hard to be accepting of my lifestyle and the fact that I wasn’t girlie like she was, so that would be bitchy of me. Besides, she was probably right about the slippers—it did get cold in Europe, whether I was in Limaj or Monte Carlo, and I didn’t have any.
“Okay. That sounds fun. Can Harlow come too?”
“Like you could keep me away.” Harlow giggled.
The buzzer sounded and I straightened my spine a little. I could and would put on a happy face for my mother and Brad’s friends. It was just a couple of days and then I’d go back to stoic, professional Lennox for the rest of my life. Unless I was pregnant. I couldn’t be stoic or unemotional if I had a baby.
A baby.
Jesus Christ, what fresh hell had I brought on my life? I wasn’t ready for a baby.
Was I?
Shit.
I heard voices in the hall but I grabbed half the bagel as it came out of the toaster oven and started to butter it. I turned to ask Harlow if she wanted butter or cream cheese but she’d disappeared, so I figured she knew whoever had arrived. I left her half of the bagel alone and put mine on a plate. I turned, plate in one hand, the bagel in the other as I raised it to my lips to take the first bite, and froze.
Sandor?
Sandor?!
What the hell was Sandor doing in my mother’s boyfriend’s kitchen in Fort Lauderdale on Christmas Day? How did he even know how to find me? I probably looked ridiculous, standing there with the bagel halfway to my mouth, but I couldn’t seem to move.
“Merry Christmas.” His deep voice gave me chills and I blinked. He looked incredible in tan slacks, a light blue button-down shirt with a few buttons open at his throat and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was down, wavy and a little tousled, about as sexy as I’d ever seen him, his aquamarine eyes trained on me.
“M-merry Christmas.” I abruptly put down the plate and the bagel. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s Christmas. My girl and I had a fight. I came to apologize.”
“Y-you did?” Oh no. I was going to cry. What the fuck was wrong with me?
“I did.” He took a step forward. “I was an absolute idiot, Lennox. I’m so sorry.”
“I… You are?”
Wow, I was quite verbose today.
He smiled. “I had my priorities mixed up and Erik set me straight. I flew all night so I could tell you.”
“You did?”
Okay, I really needed to stop this. I swallowed and finally found my voice. “I mean, yes, you did, but I’m really mad at you.”
“I know.” He reached out a hand. One of those big, strong hands I loved so much. He brushed his knuckles across my cheek, sending a tingling sensation zinging through my body. How did he always do this to me?
Then he dropped to one knee and pulled something out of his pocket. “But I plan to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. If you’ll have me.”
I stared at him in absolute shock.
This couldn’t be happening.
Everything I’d ever dreamed of and a few things I’d never allowed myself to consider were all coming true in the form of a big blond billionaire prince that I loved more than life itself. So why did I feel so weird?
“Lennox? Will you marry me?” He was looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes and I desperately wanted to say yes but I felt really strange, a little clammy and kind of hot, as if I was having a hot flash. But I was too young for that. Right?
“Honey?” He looked a little concerned now.
Suddenly my world started to swim and I ran from the room, making it to the toilet just in time to empty my stomach. I clenched the sides, hoping I wouldn’t pass out, and eventually, as I sat there on my knees, the queasy feeling started to pass.
A warm body moved behind me, Sandor’s strong arms closing around me, holding me up.
“Baby, are you okay?”
“I just…need a minute.” I was mortified he’d seen me throw up. What had just happened? I never threw up.
Holy shit.
This couldn’t be happening.
I closed my eyes.
“I think I’m pregnant,” I whispered.
His arms tightened around me and he pulled me close, though my back was pressed against his front, just in case I needed to heave again.
“Really?” His lips were against my ear. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Isn’t it?” I turned to him in confusion. “You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad? Making a baby with the woman I love is my fantasy—remember?” He was smiling again.
“I...” I collapsed against his chest, all the fight draining out of me. I’d been hanging on by a thread, trying to prove how strong I was, but now that he was here, I didn’t want to be strong. I just wanted him.
“I’m not mad.” He pressed light kisses along my temple. “I’m thrilled. I want to marry you and have as many babies as you’ll give me, before I’m too old to enjoy them. I want to renovate Gustafhaven and fill it with all the light and love we can bring to it. I want you, Lennox.”
“I want you too,” I whispered. “Okay, can you give me a minute to clean up? I feel gross.”
“If we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together, I don’t think you need to hide from me when you’re feeling gross.”
I managed a tiny smile. “Okay.”
He got to his feet and helped me up. I brushed my teeth, gargled with mouthwash and fixed my hair a little. Then I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck. “What are you doing here, Mr. Gustaffson?”
He pulled me close. “I came to propose to my girl. You think she’ll say yes?”
“Now that she’s not about to puke her guts out anymore, you’re going to have to try again. But probably not in the bathroom.”
He laughed. “Deal.”
“How did you know where I was?”
“Well, I do have some friends in the CIA. It wasn’t that hard to get your mother’s number, call her and get the address.”
I laughed.
We walked back out to the living room where my mother rushed forward worriedly. “Sweetie, are you okay?”
“I guess my nerves got the best of me.” I didn’t dare mention a baby until we knew for sure. My mother would talk of nothing else if I did.
Then Sandor was on one knee again, holding out this amazing ring… Was that a sapphire? It was as blue as his eyes, set in platinum, and the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“I didn’t think a traditional diamond would be the right ring for my very untraditional girl,” he said quietly. “And I hope you’ll wear it for the rest of your life.”
“Longer,” I whispered, holding out my left hand, noting that it was shaking a little.
He got up, put the ring on my finger, yanked me against him, and then we were kissing like I hadn’t just puked in the bathroom. Apparently, a little mouthwash was all it took for my man to stuff his tongue down my throat.
Mom, Harlow and Brad started clapping and we pulled apart grinning broadly.
“This is the best Christmas ever!” Mom burst into tears.
43
Sandor
* * *
Christmas turned out to be one of the best days I’d ever had in my life. Lennox’s mother was sweet, if not a little overbearing, and Brad seemed like a good guy. Harlow was a doll, sweet and beautiful, and seemed to adore her older sister. We talked and laughed throughout the day, meeting a handful of Michelle and Brad’s friends who came and went. Lennox’s youngest sister, Vivian, showed up for dinner. She was a blonde who’d dyed her hair black, wore too much makeup, and was wearing a tiny little black minidress that was barely appropriate for a nightclub, much less Christmas dinner, but everyone seemed to tiptoe around her so I didn’t say anything either.
All in all, we had a great day. Lennox had a feeling she’d thrown up because she’d had too much coffee on a mostly empty stomach combined with nerves and stress. It made sense, but I had to admit I would be over the moon if she was pregnant. I wanted babies with her so much I could taste it. More than one. Maybe four or five. I didn’t know how she felt about that, but the urge to have a big family was suddenly overwhelming.
It was after midnight when we finally got to bed, and she curled against me since the full-size bed in the guest room was way too small for me, much less both of us. But it hadn’t seemed prudent to leave, so I would suck it up for one night. If we stayed another day, though, we needed to get a hotel because I probably wouldn’t relax at all in a bed this size.
“We need to find a drug store tomorrow,” she was saying. “I need to know if I’m pregnant because it’s kind of freaking me out.”
“Is it?” I stroked her hair.
“My job isn’t conducive to being pregnant, and think before you say something dumb.”
I chuckled. “I understand that and would never tell you to stop working, but I very much want a family. Do you want one with me?”
“I do. But… I don’t know how that would work. I couldn’t just stop working to stay home and be a mom.”
“I think we’ll have to work out a new reality, a new plan for our future. I’ve been thinking about politics.”
She smiled. “I see.”
“Erik and I are talking about starting a Limaji intelligence agency, like the CIA, and I think I’d like to oversee that. It keeps my finger in the security game, but on a broader level, so that I’m not the one out there dodging bullets, so to speak. And I think you can continue your role as Casey’s personal bodyguard, but in a more supervisory position. You could be in charge of maintaining the duty schedule for whoever’s protecting her, and of course you could run point if there are outings or other things that require more than everyday protection. That way, you can work but also be home with me and the forty-two babies I want.”
She chewed her lip. “I’m thirty-two, thirty-three in March. If you want forty-two, that has me popping them out well into my seventies. I’m not sure about that part.”
“Triplets?” I suggested, laughing.
“Maybe.” She sighed against my chest. “I couldn’t believe the way you just kicked me to the curb. I was having a hard time with it.”
“Yeah, well, Erik kicked my ass. You would’ve loved it.”
“Did he? What did he say?”
“Essentially reminded me that a lifetime of sacrifice isn’t necessary. Not even for the country and people we love so much. It’s time for us to live again. Bad things happen and there’s nothing you can do about it other than be diligent, and we are. We were. And then Luke came in and offered to talk to you, to make things right since he heard his dad say it was his fault.”
“Oh, poor kid.” She shook her head. “It’s only been a few days, but I already missed our life together. I missed you so much it was hard to breathe. And then I saw the letter about my implant being expired and all I could think about was all the unprotected sex we’ve essentially been having.”
“I love you,” I whispered. “And I want to have all the unprotected sex, all the time.”
“You don’t really want a bunch of kids, do you?” she asked softly. “I mean, I want a couple…but you sound ready to start our own sports team.”
I paused. I really did want a bunch, but I had to be realistic. Neither of us was young from the perspective of starting a family. Me more than her, since I would be turning forty in a few months, but we both had busy careers too. While I wanted to cut back some, it wouldn’t be completely, and it didn’t sound like Lennox would be either.
“Uh-oh.” She turned onto her side to face me. “How many kids are we talking, Sandor?”
I grimaced. “Three?”
“I can do three. But we have to start right away.”
“Well, we might have already gotten a head start.”
“I’m not ready,” she whispered. “I need time with just you, babe. Just us.”
“If you’re pregnant, we’ll make it work. I promise. If not, I can go back to using condoms for a few months, or as much time as you need.”
“I also don’t want to be pregnant when we get married unless you want to elope tomorrow. I don’t know how the country is going to feel about an illegitimate baby.”
“They’ll get over it. This is about what we want, not the people. I do think we need the big wedding, though. They didn’t get it for their king and the people love the pomp and circumstance.”
“Can’t Daniil and Elen do that for them?”
“Neither of them are in relationships and we need something sooner rather than later. What do you think?”
“If I’m pregnant, that’s not going to happen for at least a year. If not, yes, we can plan a big summer wedding.”
“I fucking love you, Lennox Briggs.” I flipped us over so I was on top of her. “And I need to show you right fucking now.”
“Condom?” she whispered, biting her lip.
I dropped my forehead to hers with a sigh. “Oral it is.”
* * *
We got in her rented convertible the next day and headed to a drug store. We bought the tests but weren’t going to use them until tonight, when we were alone at the hotel room I’d reserved. Last night in that bed had sucked and she wanted to stay a couple of more days, so we’d compromised by getting a hotel room. We checked in and dropped off our things, including the pregnancy tests. Then we got back in the car and she dropped me off while Harlow and her mother got in the convertible to go shopping. Brad and I were going golfing, something I hadn’t done in years, but it sounded fun and I figured I should get to know the man who would be my father-in-law. Apparently, Michelle and Brad were getting married this spring, so we would be back in Fort Lauderdale in April for that.
It was a nice afternoon and I’d forgotten how much I loved to be outdoors doing something both physical and relaxing. Brad was a lot of fun and very down-to-earth. In some ways, he reminded me of my father, which was an interesting feeling, but it was in a good way.
We all met up for dinner and then Lennox and I took our leave. Though we’d been patient all day, now we were anxious to find out. She seemed nervous when she went into the bathroom but I would be okay no matter what the outcome was. It would be a bummer to go back to using condoms after these last months of not having to, but it wasn’t a big deal to me. I’d used condoms my whole life until two months ago, and it had never been a deterrent.
I sensed Lennox wasn’t ready for a baby yet, and while it was a little disappointing, it was okay. I loved her and though it felt like I was getting a little old for the parenting thing, she was only thirty-two. We had time.
She came out holding the piece of white plastic in her hand.
“Did you just pee on that and pick it up?” I teased, trying to make her laugh.
She rolled her eyes. “I peed on it, wiped it down and then picked it up. Cretin.”
I pulled her onto my lap. “Whatever the result is, we’re good. I don’t want you to worry. Pregnant or not, we’ve got this. We’re going to start renovating Gustafhaven whether you are or not. If you are, we’ll work on the nursery first and plan a wedding for summer after next. If you’re not, we’ll start planning a June wedding now. Deal?”
“Deal.” She rested her head on my chest. Finally, she lifted it again and handed the test to me. “You get to see first.”
“Why can’t we see together?”
“I want you to see first. I’m too nervous.”
“Okay.” I took it from her, pressed my lips to hers for a brief but sound kiss, and then looked down.
One line.
Not pregnant.
Damn.
“Summer wedding,” I said softly.
“Oh.” She practically wilted against me, her relief obvious.
“Do you still want to fly to Vegas to see your ob-gyn?”
