Nowhere Left to Fall, page 23
“I guess I’m going to take a nap,” I said, getting to my feet. “Will you be all right on your own?”
“I’m fine.” He waved me off.
* * *
I woke to someone shaking me and I rolled over in frustration. “What is it?” I hissed, trying to focus.
“You’ve been asleep all day.” Daniil looked down at me. “And we have company.”
I sat up and stared at Sandor, who looked rougher than I felt. “Hey. You’re back. What’s going on?”
“She’s pissed.” He dug something out of his pocket and tossed it at me.
I raised a hand to catch it instinctively and winced when I realized what it was. Her ring. Fuck. She’d given him the ring and told him to bring it back to me. Not to my father, whom it truly belonged to, but to me. Yeah, my little vixen was more than pissed.
“We did this for a reason.”
“She doesn’t care. She says she’d rather be dead than live without you.”
“She’s hormonal and hurt,” I said, trying to make light of her emotions. I didn’t, I never would, but I had to pretend in front of Sandor and Daniil.
“She’s hurt, upset.”
“What about the guitar?” I asked. “Did she like it?”
“She was in tears, so I’m guessing yes.”
“Sonofabitch.”
“You did this to protect her. It’s not like you don’t love her.”
“I fucking worship her,” I muttered, rubbing my hands down my face. This was such a clusterfuck. I wanted to fly straight to Limaj and pound my fist into Anwar’s smug face over and over until there was nothing left but a bloody pulp. I could almost feel the blood oozing onto my hands as I hit him, see the skin of his face splitting as I continued to hit him. It was a satisfying fantasy, but not satisfying enough and I got to my feet in frustration.
“She said she wants to fight together, that leaving her alone isn’t what you promised.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I demanded.
“Because she shoved this ring in my chest and glared at me until I promised I would,” Sandor growled back.
We glared at each other until I finally backed down because arguing served no purpose. This wasn’t either of our faults, but somehow, I was the one in Anwar’s crosshairs. Deep down, I knew it was because I was the only one who could take the throne from him and he obviously knew it too.
“What are you thinking?” Sandor asked finally.
“Get Nick on the phone for me, will you?” I finally asked. “I need to know if she’s okay.”
He nodded and got on the phone, handing it to me a minute later.
“She’s hanging on by a thread,” Nick said when he answered. “The press is having a field day with this bullshit.”
“As we intended.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know about the wisdom of leaving her at the altar. I mean, she knows you didn’t dump her, but the rest of the world doesn’t, and the headlines are pretty ugly.”
“The uglier the headlines, the more believable it will be to Anwar.” I’d said that to myself repeatedly as we’d planned this, because I hated what I was doing to her.
“Yeah, well, she’s furious, pregnant, and hurting.” Nick sounded frustrated. “And she doesn’t want to talk to me at all.”
“You have to make her.”
“I will eventually, but right now she’s holed up at her dad’s house not talking to anyone.”
I was upset about the whole situation, but that was so like Casey I couldn’t help but smile. She really was a fiery little dragon. “Keep me posted, would you?”
“Of course.”
I put the phone down and looked at Sandor. “Why don’t you go get some rest? I have phone calls to make.”
“Call Casey,” Sandor muttered, leaving the room.
“I agree,” Daniil called over his shoulder.
“You guys are not helpful,” I yelled after them. I didn’t know what to do. I’d done the right thing, I was sure of it, but Casey had taken the anger path instead of the heartbroken one, and I hadn’t anticipated that. With her hormones out of control and a full house at the wedding, I’d figured she’d fall apart. That had been dumb on my part. The woman I loved was no shrinking violet, which made everything that much harder.
My Casey, the love of my life, would not give up on us so easily. Our love wasn’t a fleeting affair or a casual tryst; we were soulmates, the loves of each other’s lives. She would fight for me. For us. For our child. It was the most beautiful thing in the world, but also the most dangerous. Why didn’t she understand that? Anwar was ruthless and wouldn’t hesitate to kill her. As it was, I was worried about him getting to Skye, and who knew what Omar would do if he did. Seeing him at the ball had been jarring and caught all of us by surprise. Casey had to know how dangerous this was.
The best solution would be to eliminate Anwar, but that was no easy feat. I would need an army, probably the whole military, and the support of people who were probably very confused right now. Even if it was possible, it wasn’t a quick fix. I didn’t have a plan, the finances, or the backing to forge a coup like that, even with my father’s help.
I was truly at a loss and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
39
Casey
* * *
I hid out at my parents’ house for two days. They babied me and we ate too much, talked too much and I cried far too much. My parents, Erik’s parents, and Nick and his parents knew what was going on, of course, but no one else did and that didn’t make it any easier. The press was on a tear, speculating about what I’d done, what was going on, and where Erik was. I tried to keep up with what the media was saying but I was overtired and overwhelmed. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay here any longer. For the charade to work, for people to believe I’d been jilted and was having another man’s baby, I had to move in with Nick. Marry Nick. Pretend I was in love with Nick.
It was jarring, so utterly different from the life I’d been planning the last two months, I had no idea what to do first. I’d barely spoken to him, though it wasn’t Nick I was angry with. Hell, he was trying to help, protect both me and my baby. I was just so angry at the world, at Anwar, at fate. This wasn’t even a little bit fair and I desperately needed Erik. He was the only thing that would calm me right now but there was no way to reach him and it didn’t help that I was worried about him as well.
“Are you ready to go?” Dad poked his head into my room and I smiled faintly.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I lumbered to my feet as though I weighed a thousand pounds. It wasn’t just my body that felt heavy, but my entire being. Without Erik, I wasn’t functioning properly and the light had gone out of my life. The only thing that brought me even the slightest bit of pleasure was my new guitar—aptly named The Pink Dragon. It and the accompanying letter hadn’t been out of my sight since I’d gotten them and I’d read the letter at least two dozen times.
Trust in my love. Trust that I’ll be back for you. Trust that I’ll never let you fall.
Those words had become my mantra and I repeated them as often as I needed to get through the next hour, minute, or second. Time ran together right now.
“As far as I can tell,” Joe said as I got to the bottom of the stairs, “no one has any idea you’re here so they shouldn’t see you leave either.” He and a group of carefully selected men had been tasked with my safety, and though I was frustrated that Erik had made all these decisions without me, I would do whatever was necessary to protect our baby. Our son.
It was funny that I almost believed it was a boy now, just because he’d said so, and I thought about that as I followed Joe out to the waiting limousine. It had been sent from the Charleston to collect me and I hugged my parents tightly before getting in.
“It’s going to be okay,” Mom whispered. “You’ll see. Just keep your chin up.”
“You got this, honey.” Dad hugged me next.
“I love you guys,” I said tearfully.
Then I got into the limo and closed my eyes.
* * *
Nick was waiting when we arrived at the private entrance, quickly taking my hand and leading me up to his suite of rooms. He’d begun renovating them after we got back from the tour last summer since he was planning to live here full-time and wanted more than a hotel room as a home, despite the fact that it had been an exceptionally nice hotel room. His parents had taken the entire floor beneath the penthouse, making it into a home almost like any other, with multiple bedrooms, bathrooms, a kitchen and more. Nick now had the penthouse floor and had begun creating something similar. He loved the Charleston and planned to live here forever. It probably wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I’d grown up running around here so it felt a little like home, despite the changes he was making.
“It’ll have four bedrooms, four bathrooms, a kitchen, a hot tub and a workout room,” he told me as he showed me around. “Right now, the only rooms that are finished are my room—the master bedroom and bath—and the main living area. Everything else is in progress. It’s a little noisy during the day, but they’re gone by six and don’t come in until nine. I can delay that if you want to sleep later…” His voice trailed off, his eyes watching me intently.
“It’s fine,” I responded numbly.
“You okay?” Nick gently touched my shoulder.
“Just tired. I want to lie down, I think.”
“Do you need me to get you anything?”
“No.” I walked slowly to his—our—bedroom, looking around without seeing anything. Joe’s men had moved most of my personal belongings over here yesterday, and I had my own closet in the guest room, but my toiletries and such were now mingled with his in the master bathroom. It was such an odd feeling, I wasn’t sure what to do. I was supposed to be sharing a life with Erik now, building a home, starting our family… not living here with my best friend, pretending that this was normal.
I forced the thoughts from my mind and concentrated on washing my face, brushing my hair and pulling an oversized sweatshirt over my yoga pants.
I was staring at the ceiling when Nick came in and lay beside me on the bed. “You’re not okay, are you?”
“No, not really.”
“What can I do, Casey? I’m trying to protect you—you know that, don’t you?”
“I do, and I appreciate it. I’m just a little more heartbroken than usual today. I miss him so much.” Tears filled my eyes and I swiped at them angrily.
“I know.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “But I have a surprise for you. Hang tight.”
He disappeared and then came back a minute later, holding out his phone.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone,” I murmured.
“You do. Trust me.” He wiggled the phone in front of me. “Take it.”
I scowled but did as he asked, speaking into it gingerly. “Yes? Hello?”
“Hello, love.”
Erik.
Tears squeezed out of my eyes before I could stop them and everything I’d thought I would say if I had a chance disappeared. I was overwhelmed with emotion and couldn’t come up with a single word.
“Come on, don’t cry.” His voice soothed me as it always did. “I love you, Casey, and I’m working on coming home. Please don’t cry.”
“How could you leave me?” I cried, sobbing.
“I’m coming back.” He sounded strong, determined. “I’ll never leave you, never. Trust me, baby. You know me. You know you’re my everything.”
“I miss you,” I whispered.
“I know. I miss you too. But I’m coming back. I don’t know how long it’ll take or what I have to do to protect all of us, but I will. Please tell me you believe in me and that you’ll wait for me.”
“Of course I’ll wait for you.” I sniffled and fumbled for a tissue. “Forever. Longer, if necessary.”
“But I need you to marry Nick, sweetheart. It has to be the performance of a lifetime. You have to marry him, be seen with him, hold his hand, kiss him in public—show the whole world that I was nothing but a tryst to you.”
“Erik.” My heart squeezed in agony. I liked Nick. Hell, I loved him, but I wasn’t in love with him. How was I going to pull this off?
“It’s going to be hard, for both of us, but we have to do this. Our baby, our lives, depend on it.”
“This sucks ass,” I muttered.
He chuckled. “Believe me, I know.”
“But what are you going to do?”
“I’m in hiding, gathering intelligence and working with a group we’re calling the anti-rebellion to take the country back. I have to have a lot of support, though, and that’s going to take time. Anwar will have to screw up a few times before I can count on that kind of backing, so you have to hang in there for me.”
“You’ll call and check in, right? I have to hear your voice, Erik, or I can’t do this.”
“Whenever I can get to a secure line. I promise.”
“I’m so scared. How can I have this baby without you?”
“You’ll have Nick and your family, your friends… You’ll do it because you’re my strong, brave dragon queen and you’re going to kick ass and take names, just as you’ve always done.”
“Dragon queen?”
“Yup. By the way, I’m pissed you gave back the ring.”
“I won’t wear it until you put it back on my finger.”
“And I’m going to do that as soon as I possibly can.”
“I love you, Erik.”
“I love you too. I have to go, but I’ll call soon. I’ll try to call once a week, but if I can’t, don’t panic. I’ll call as soon as I can.”
“Say it,” I whispered.
“I love you.” His words were like a balm on my tattered soul.
“And?”
“I’m coming back.”
“Promise.”
“I fucking swear.”
“Be careful.”
“Always.”
He disconnected and I hugged the phone to my chest, keeping the sound of his voice in my head, my heart. He was okay. He loved me. He was coming back.
Trust in my love. Trust that I’ll be back for you. Trust that I’ll never let you fall.
I stood up and blew my nose, straightening my spine. Fuck Anwar and his bullshit. I wouldn’t let him beat me. Not physically, not emotionally, not in any way. I was tougher than this and we would show him who was boss.
I walked into the living room and Nick looked up with a smile.
“Feel better?”
“I do. Thank you.” I went and sat next to him.
He reached for my hand and I locked my fingers with his, relying on a lifetime of friendship to boost the strength I was struggling to find on my own.
“So?” he asked.
“Are you sure you’re up for this? It’s asking an awful lot of you, Nick.”
“Which part? Marrying you?”
“All of it. Getting married, having a baby, making that fucker Anwar believe what we need him to believe.”
“This isn’t hard for me, really. I already know and like you. We’ve been as intimate as two people could be, so no one is going to be freaking out about getting dressed in front of the other or sharing a bed—and I’m not talking about sex. Day to day, this is no different than being on tour. Minus the music.”
“And the sex.”
He chuckled. “I’m good. Really. I mean, we’d have to revisit that if this was going to be forever, but until Erik comes back, I’m not some sixteen-year-old who just got his dick sucked for the first time.”
I smiled. “Okay then. Tomorrow, we make it legal and I take back my life.”
“It won’t be forever,” he said gently. “You’ll see. And it’ll be fun. We can run around the hotel like we used to, except, you know, less drunk… play music, maybe you can even take some classes with me since you want to go back to school. It’ll go fast, Casey. Wait and see.”
I nodded. I didn’t know if I believed it, but I had to pretend or I wouldn’t survive this.
Trust in my love. Trust that I’ll be back for you. Trust that I’ll never let you fall.
* * *
Get ready for NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN, book 2 of The Royal Trilogy—preorder here!
* * *
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Coming Soon
Nowhere Left to Run — Book 2 of The Royal Trilogy
* * *
I have nowhere left to run…
I’ll never love another the way I loved him. He might have been a prince, but to me he was just Erik. The father of my child. The man whose love was so fierce, it’s like it never left me.
Some days I swear I can still feel his presence surrounding me, until I’m reminded that our love song is over.
Moving on is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Hollow without him, the music that’s been pouring out of my soul is the only way to ease the ache.
It will never replace the love of my life, but for my baby’s sake, I have to try.
Every tragic lyric, every minor chord, proves that I can’t outrun his ghost or the truth... my heart beats only for him.
* * *
Nowhere Left to Hide - the exciting conclusion to The Nowhere Trilogy!
* * *
We have nowhere left to hide...
* * *
Erik
Loving her from the shadows shattered my heart.
Watching her move on nearly destroyed me.
I let them both go, knowing it was the only way to keep them safe.
Now the threat is back and there’s only one way to protect them: Come back from the dead.
It’s time to claim what’s mine.
My woman. My kingdom. My life.
* * *
