Nurse's Risk with the Rebel, page 10
‘Meadow?’ he called out into the vast expanse in case she’d ventured off track to somewhere new. There was no point in him walking aimlessly into the bush with no idea where she was or where he was going. That was just asking for trouble, and a repeat of what had happened to her dad, which was the last thing she’d want, or need. He wouldn’t be very popular if she had to waste her day off getting him airlifted to hospital.
‘Meadow? Are you out here?’
‘Jay? Be careful. I’ll come to you. Wait there.’
He heard her but couldn’t see her, and ventured towards the edge of the ditch where her father had come unstuck, careful not to lose his footing too. Peering over the drop, he saw her crouched down in the dirt. With her hair tied up under her wide-brimmed hat, showing off her tanned limbs in khaki shorts and camo shirt, dirt smeared on her cheek, she looked even more gorgeous than last night.
‘I told you to wait,’ she sighed, standing up to brush the dust from her clothes.
‘I’m not going to do anything stupid. I’m just standing here.’ He didn’t want to be a liability or a source of irritation, he only knew he had to come out here this morning to be with her.
Another hefty sigh. ‘I’m busy, Jay.’
She was shielding her eyes with her hand, the sun already blazing down on them at this hour. That, combined with the amount of flies he was constantly having to bat away, made Jay wonder what the attraction of this was, apart from the obvious hope of finding a fortune. He could think of easier ways to make money. It began to make sense why she was so risk-averse and in need of stability. Perhaps why she didn’t want to contemplate the idea of being with him when he was always talking about that stupid list. Although it had been important at the time for him and Sharyn, a way for him to break out of old habits, he didn’t want it to get in the way of the future.
‘Any luck so far?’ Even though she would probably be more welcoming if she’d uncovered some gold, it was the only question which came to mind for now.
Meadow frowned. ‘Nope. So there goes the patch theory. Give me a hand up.’
She reached up and he hauled her, the detector and pickaxe out of the ditch.
‘Are you done for the day then?’ Maybe they could take a drive out for some lunch, or spend the afternoon together at a wildlife park for that talked about koala experience.
Meadow gave a shrill laugh. ‘No. I’m not going to go back to my father empty-handed if it kills me. If I can find something decent it could keep him going for a while, and hopefully he won’t try and kill himself finding money for next month’s bills.’
‘So how do you find a good prospect? Where do you start?’ Whilst Jay admired her determination to provide for her father, it seemed like relentlessly hard work for very little gain. Unless she did something her experienced father hadn’t managed, and uncovered a boulder-sized nugget of golden goodness.
‘Well, I thought my dad’s finds would’ve been a good place to start. He always maintained there was a motherlode waiting to be found in the ancient dried riverbed that supposedly ran here. Gold deposits are often transported by rivers, but I’ve scanned the area and there isn’t a signal to be found.’ She waved the metal detector in the air and he got the impression if it hadn’t been worth a small fortune on its own, she would’ve launched it into the stratosphere.
‘How long have you been out here?’
‘Since daybreak. I need to find something, Jay. He’ll be so disappointed if I don’t, and he’ll be straight back out here rather than resting.’
‘Okay. So do you have any idea where it would be a good spot to start over?’
‘I don’t have his map grid of places he’s searched before, or intends to search. There are some old gold mines around. Although they’re largely mined out, they didn’t have the same equipment in the eighteen-hundreds as we do now. I guess that’s as good an area as any to try.’
‘Can I tag along? I won’t get in the way, promise.’
‘You’re happy to stand out here in near forty-degree heat, plagued by flies, to just watch?’ She was standing with one hand on her hip, detector slung over her shoulder, and she’d never looked more Aussie.
It was tempting to front it out and say yes, that was enough, but they both knew it was a lie. He was dying to try it.
‘I’d love to have a go on your bleepy stick thing.’
Meadow rolled her eyes and walked off, calling behind her, ‘You ever call it that in front of my dad and you’ll be homeless again.’
Jay grinned, knowing he’d got her approval to tag along after all.
* * *
Meadow should have insisted that he go back to the house out of harm’s way, but the truth was she liked the company. She’d thought she could do this on her own but her frustrated attempts in the heat had left her seconds away from a teary breakdown before Jay had arrived. The sight of him had made her glad he’d ignored her obvious decision to leave without him this morning, despite his request to accompany her.
Things last night had got too hot and steamy, too wet and wild, for her to take any more chances of being alone with him. Yet here they were again, and only time would tell if she’d have the strength to resist another wave of sexual tension capable of turning her into a voyeur. The way she’d watched him undress last night, she might as well have tucked dollars into his jocks and asked for a lap dance, and she was sure he would’ve obliged. It was only Greg, and the knowledge they’d both regret it in the cold light of day, which had stopped her from asking him for a private show when they’d come home.
Even that notion of this place as being home was skewed, when she’d never seen her dad’s land as anything other than something she had to bear. It was only Jay who’d made it feel somewhere safe. Ironic, given that thrill-seeking nature and the current threat to her peace of mind.
After spending most of her adult life looking after herself, her parents off exploring their own lives, it was nice to have someone with her. She knew part of the reason Jay was here was to make sure she didn’t get into difficulty. If he’d really wanted to cross something off that damn list, he could’ve used his day off to go and do something more exciting than digging in the dirt. He couldn’t fool her. The sort of man who’d dive into a pool fully clothed to save someone was also the kind who wouldn’t be content to stand back and let a woman do hard manual labour alone.
If it was anyone else, she might be offended that he thought she couldn’t manage on her own, but that wasn’t it with Jay. Despite his risky behaviour at times, she got a sense that he wanted to keep her safe, and that was something she hadn’t had from anybody in a long time. Certainly not from her parents, and not from any of her past partners who, now she looked back on it, might be considered weak. Men she knew couldn’t hurt her because she didn’t love them enough, so she wouldn’t be too broken-hearted when they invariably let her down.
She’d always thought it was stability she wanted in a relationship, but she knew there was part of her that craved the sort of excitement someone like Jay brought into her life. Except she needed care and kindness with it, not risk. Her father and Shawn had got their kicks at her expense and inviting Jay further into her life was the ultimate gamble. In this case, instead of risking her family and finances, she would be putting her heart on the line in the hope of winning her prize. Only time would tell if that adventurous streak would win out over her desire for self-preservation. But for now she was glad she had someone to talk to other than herself out here in the wilds.
‘What’s the story with the mines? I mean, why aren’t they still in operation if it’s thought there’s still gold in them thar hills?’ Jay’s insistence that he wasn’t going to get in her way was already in dispute when it seemed he wasn’t one for companionable silence for the journey.
‘The gold rush in the later eighteen-hundreds and into the nineteen-hundreds meant every man and his dog was out trying to find gold. They stripped whatever they could, then the mines were simply abandoned and they made their way to new promising sites, until the price of gold crashed. People like my father are convinced that there might still be gold waiting to be found that modern-day equipment can help discover. Trust me, if my father had the money, he’d have these back in operation.’
‘But you don’t believe there’s a fortune still to be made?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t think those men would’ve walked away if there was a sliver of gold left. I mean, I know he’s found a few nuggets round about, but nothing that justifies the money and effort he’s put in to find it.’ Nor the family he’d traded for it.
‘I take it he can’t be persuaded otherwise?’
‘No. I think at this stage he’s too pig-headed to admit defeat. It’s an obsession, the mistress that took him away from us.’ Meadow couldn’t help but be resentful. It might’ve been easier for her to reconcile events in her mind if it had been another woman who’d stolen his time and devotion when she’d been younger. Then she would have had someone else to be angry at other than her father. It made their relationship complicated when she still bore a grudge, yet loved him too much to simply walk away. If he’d had another woman, at least there would’ve been someone else to look after him too. As things stood, she was the only one he had in his life. Not that he was grateful, or had ever felt the need to say sorry.
Perhaps if he’d ever apologised for neglecting her and her mother, admitted he’d made a mistake, she could have let go of some of that resentment and got on with her life, minus the fear that another man could inflict the same damage. But he hadn’t, and so she hadn’t found the courage to open up her heart and share her life with anyone capable of breaking her again.
‘Yet you’re out here, keeping your father’s mistress happy in his absence.’ Jay was teasing her again but she didn’t mind the gentle ribbing when she knew it came from a good place.
‘Yes, well, it doesn’t mean I’m ecstatic about it, but needs must. Okay, do you want to try?’ She turned on the detector, deciding it might take his mind off asking questions for a while, and stop him probing too deeply into her past. It wasn’t something she talked about usually, but Jay had a way of making her open up that she wasn’t particularly comfortable with when it left her feeling exposed. As if talking about it would allow him to break through her brittle shell to the soft, vulnerable girl behind it, and she’d protect that child as much as she could because no one else ever had.
‘I thought you’d never ask!’ Jay rubbed his hands together like an excited child waiting to open a Christmas present. With all the other stuff he’d done in his life, the thought that this should give him a similar rush was amusing rather than concerning. It was difficult to tell if this was for her benefit or if he really did get a thrill every time he did something different. If that was the case, it was adorable that he became an excited puppy with every new discovery.
‘You need to keep it low to the ground and sweep from side to side, like this.’ She did a quick demonstration to show him. ‘We’re listening for a change in pitch, a sign that it’s picking up something metallic underfoot.’
Meadow handed over the detector, hoping he didn’t break it or her father would lose his mind.
‘Like this?’ Jay swung the device wildly, making her twitch.
‘You need to go slow and steady so you don’t miss anything.’ She stood behind him and put her arms around him to rest her hands on top of his and control the motion of the detector.
‘Like this?’ He turned his head to check he was doing it right, and they were so close it took Meadow right back to that moment on the doorstep when they’d almost kissed. As much as she still wanted that, she couldn’t be sure she’d be able to put the fire out if they did light that touch paper.
She released her hold and put some space between their warm bodies again. ‘Yeah. I think you’ve got it now.’
He held her gaze for another few seconds before he finally looked away and she got her breath back. Thankfully, as he got more invested in his detecting, Meadow was able to keep her distance and didn’t feel the need to continue a conversation. She followed his slow, steady steps, letting the birdsong fill the silence. And when the detector screeched a sudden discovery her heart nearly pounded out of her chest.
‘Is that...? Have I...?’ Jay’s eyes were wide, his body frozen to the spot, and he so clearly thought he’d found his treasure, Meadow didn’t want to burst his bubble.
‘It just means there’s metal content present. You could’ve found a rusty old nail or a bottle top. We need to dig and keep searching for the source.’ She took a small trowel from her pocket and dropped to her haunches where he’d picked up the signal.
With a scoopful of earth in her hands, she waved it over the detector and listened for the indication that she’d lifted the metal and it wasn’t still in the ground. She repeated the process several times, discarding some of the earth with every pass. This morning had unearthed nothing but useless debris already and though she’d be delighted for everyone involved if this was something shiny and precious, she had her doubts.
‘What’s that?’ Jay was kneeling down beside her now, pointing at the contents of her hand. She poked through the mound of dirt to unearth a small lump of metal. Unfortunately, not the one they were looking for.
‘Iron ore. Sorry. But it’s often thought that where you find a concentration of iron ore, gold could follow.’ Meadow vaguely remembered being told that the deposits were often formed in the earth at the same time, but Jay already seemed to have lost interest. He handed the metal detector back over to her and got to his feet.
‘I think I’ll let the expert take over. Whilst I can definitely see the attraction, I can only imagine the toll it would take on a person, being disappointed time and again to come away empty-handed. And this is how your father makes his living?’
Meadow nodded. ‘That’s why he needs the extra income.’
It hadn’t taken long for Jay to realise what she was up against with the emotional roller coaster of gold hunting. The precarious nature of the work took a certain type of person to want to do it full-time. Clearly that wasn’t her and, surprisingly, not Jay either. She supposed he was someone who needed instant gratification in his adventures and he wouldn’t find that here unless he was extremely lucky.
‘It’s not really suited to family life, is it?’
Meadow tossed away the dirt and stood up. ‘Tell me about it. I don’t know how my mum coped as long as she did, moving from one place to another. Money was tight, schooling wasn’t easy, and it’s lonely out here in the Outback if you don’t have a good support system of friends. But she made the choice to embark on this life with my dad and there’s a big part of me that wishes she would’ve tried harder to make things work. To give Dad credit, he stopped drifting, bought Rainbow’s Walk and made an attempt to settle down. Perhaps it was too little, too late for my mother by then, but I can’t help thinking if they’d communicated better they could have salvaged their relationship. That we all could have benefitted from a more stable life if she’d stuck it out a little longer.’
As much as she loved her mother, Meadow believed she should shoulder some of the blame for the breakup of their family too. Her father had made an effort, invested the money he’d made in a plot of land to give them that security, only for her mother to walk away anyway. At fifteen years old, Meadow hadn’t been given a choice. If she had, she would’ve stayed and tried to create a family of sorts with just her and her dad. She hadn’t even managed a proper relationship with her mother. They’d only had a couple of years of normality before she’d met someone else and decided to move to Queensland. Her father wasn’t the only one with a wanderlust and Meadow had been trying to make up for her mother’s actions ever since. Instead of welcoming her back into his life with open arms, he’d seemed to retreat further. As though he was afraid she would leave him eventually too. It was a vicious circle they couldn’t break free from.
‘I probably would’ve loved life out here. The open space, the freedom, the fresh air...’
‘I know I shouldn’t ask, but—’
‘When my father wasn’t beating me in a drunken rage, he’d lock me in the house so I wouldn’t leave him, like my mum.’ He anticipated her question and answered it before she asked. It didn’t make the moment any easier.
Meadow thought of the young Jay, the boy cowed by his father’s temper and rules, abandoned by his mother, and there was only one reasonable reaction. She dropped the metal detector, stood up on her tiptoes, threw her arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as she could.
‘I’m so sorry.’ She screwed her eyes shut, trying to force away the terrible images pushing their way into her mind, and tried not to let the tears fall.
‘It’s okay.’
She could feel him smile against her cheek, trying to put her at ease when he was reliving the horror that had been his childhood. It made her want to squeeze him tighter. To discover her prison was his freedom was a difficult thought to process. Both had suffered in different ways at the hands of their parents. Jay had clearly suffered physical and emotional abuse, and knowing that he’d gone on to become a doctor, healing others, made him all the more remarkable. Not least because he’d worked through his personal trauma and pushed himself every day to be someone else instead of that frightened child who’d been caged like an animal, his spirit broken. While she remained trapped in her past, too afraid to break out. Perhaps she should take a leaf out of his book if going against the familiar made for a stronger character.
‘I wish I had your bravery,’ she sighed.
