He glanced to the door of the office and his mask fell in place again. She wanted to yell and shake him. His face clouded and he pushed away from the wall, entering the office she’d begun to hate.

  His time ran short. Especially now that he’d agreed to meet Eva’s family. A family who would recognize him straight away and wonder why Eva didn’t. That was still a mystery. She’d hit her head hard enough that day to make her sick. But it hadn’t seemed so bad as to confuse her memories. He’d avoided pushing her too hard whenever she’d brought up anything hinting at Captain Roth. He had to keep his true self away from the one he’d built for this assignment or he’d never find out about her drawings. Not that he’d cared much recently. He had ample opportunity to push her for information, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t ask the tough questions he needed to.

  She’d brought her notebook today. His hand had brushed against it outside the office, reminding him of exactly why he was here. And it wasn’t for a pleasant afternoon of exploring Eva’s willing mouth. She was too eager, almost desperate for him. Most women knew that—at some point in their future—a man would slake that need, so they held their desire in check. Eva drank from the fountain of pleasure as if she’d never have that chance again. It could only be her age and inexperience. Despite the general’s orders, he’d make sure she didn’t experience any more desire than she had thus far. She needed a man who could take her on walks and show her wildlife, teach her to camp under the stars. She needed a man who would give her a brood of children who loved to draw and couldn’t be penned in by four walls. Children like he and Eva could create, if not for this mission.

  He arranged his desk as she walked in, fingering her lips. She glanced at him for a moment and set her notebook on his desk. It was close, so close.

  “You’ve been so curious about what I’ve done, but I can only show you one today. The other one is personal.”

  His heart did a jig. This was it. She was ready to let him in. Would it be worth it? Did he even want it to be? He didn’t have to dig that far to find what he hoped was some simple explanation that would free her from suspicion. He sat down and folded his hands in front of him to keep from seeming too interested. Every time he’d mentioned her drawings in the past, she’d shut him out.

  She flipped to the first page and there were the flowers he’d left for her in her room at the boarding house. Or rather, the flowers he’d given to Mrs. Daphne to leave in her room.

  “They are lovely. These are the wildflowers that grow around here in the spring and linger in the valleys.”

  She nodded and bit the edge of her lip. A groan leapt into his chest, but he swallowed it back.

  “They are my favorites. After the spring, you have to search for them. I found some in a small covered, secret glade at the edge of our property. It was always cool there and the air was fresh with their fragrance. It was as if the Lord had made that special place, just for me.”

  He had to focus on the picture, not the woman, or he’d lose all concentration. “They are certainly lovely. What makes them your favorite?” If he knew that, perhaps he could figure out the connection to her and the Indians? Was it the flowers or the covered, secret location she spoke of?

  “I just love them. They are delicate and small, yet just a few of them can make a whole room smell wonderful.”

  He searched the drawing closely, but it was just a vase of flowers on a table. As much as he looked to find some secret meaning, it wasn’t there. Perhaps the private picture held something more, but he’d have to secret the notebook away to see it.

  “I wish you wouldn’t look like that.”

  He glanced up at her and the worry etched across her face threw all thoughts of the drawing away. “Look like what?” All that mattered was wiping the concern off her face.

  “Like you’re pained by my drawing.” She pressed the notebook closed. “I warned you they weren’t very good.”

  He’d offended her. In maintaining his silence and distance, he’d hurt her. He couldn’t let that stand. George stood and leaned toward her over the desk. He could just barely smell the scent of her lavender soap tantalizing his nose.

  “I was looking closely, not pained. Your drawing is quite good. I not only knew it was a flower, but exactly which kind and where to find it. I’d say that makes your drawing quite good.”

  She collected the notebook and turned from him as she clutched it to her chest, leaning against his desk. “I thank you for that. I’m still not sure why you were so interested in seeing it, but now you have. Has it tempered your curiosity, George?”

  It felt as if his last chance to make the mission worth anything was steadily slipping from his grasp. “More like tempted it. Have you ever shown them to anyone else?”

  Eva stiffened. “I tried to show them to Hattie. She had little interest. And one man took my first notebook from me. It’s silly. I shouldn’t miss them. They were just drawings of flowers and animals, but there was one drawing... A special one. It was a picture of who I am, and I miss it.”

  He forced himself to stay behind the desk, to hang back from her and let her alone. Did she mean the eagle…or the brave? “Can you draw a new copy?” he whispered. “Would that help you?”

  “It wouldn’t be the same.” She pushed away from the desk and retreated to her little stool, closing herself off from him as she always did. He’d yet to figure out if it was simple artist’s fear or something more sinister. Now his emotions were too wound up in this situation.

  “Eva, on Saturday would you like to visit the countryside? I know I could stand a day out of doors. I promise to keep to my own side of the wagon.” He laughed, praying she would return to her pleasant demeanor.

  She glanced up and smiled slightly. “Getting outside would be wonderful, but where would we go?”

  “There’s a great place just outside of town, to the west.” He had to tempt her, had to take her back where she was comfortable, even though it put him at risk. His papa had always said that the truth should never hurt, but then his papa had never told mama the truth about how he’d felt.

  She sighed and her eyes registered that he’d be taking her close to home. Maybe she’d finally tell him the truth, and then he could shed these lies. The longer it took, it was less likely she’d forgive him and the more likely he’d miss her. And he would miss her. Miss what might have been if they had met under different circumstances, and if he were not owned by the army.

  Chapter 16

  The week passed so slowly, but Saturday had finally come. The Hearst’s liveryman was happy to help him find a suitable small buckboard, but Argus was less happy about being hitched to the light rig. He couldn’t tear his mind from Eva. It had been a full week since their walk up the mountain and he was more than ready to get out of the city again. But would it matter? Eva had been chilly and formal ever since.

  The little buckboard would be perfect for a quick trip out to the countryside. Every man needed a day of rest and they’d worked hard the last few days, cataloging books that would both interest and enhance the culture. But she’d worked even harder to avoid him. His feet fairly danced at the chance to get out of the city and get sweet Eva back where she was comfortable. He kept telling himself the pull he felt for Eva was just him getting closer to her secrets, but it sounded false even to his own ears. He was plum sick of falsehoods. Both days, he’d held back from talking to her or reaching out and touching her arm. More than once he’d stopped himself from crossing the room and kissing some life back into her.

  He pulled up in front of the boarding house and found her waiting outside. She wore a pretty lavender walking skirt and matching hat. The sun shone off the tendrils of golden hair that slipped free. A basket tucked over her arm held her notebook and what looked like the makings of a picnic. He hadn’t even considered eating, only getting her out of the city where they both could relax.

  Her face was radiant, a nice change from her stuffy determination to avoid him. He’d half expected to find Beau waiting with her. She hadn’t wanted to go out of town with him again before he’d talked to Beau. He reminded himself again that he wasn’t even supposed to know Beau’s name. The day of reckoning was still on the horizon.

  As he pulled the brake to hold the wagon, she slid the basket along the floorboards between them and climbed up before he could even wrap the lines around the brake. She seated herself on the narrow bench, barely touching him. He told himself they were out in the open, that she had to remain away from him, almost aloof. It wasn’t that she’d chilled toward him. Was it? She arranged her skirts and shifted her feet to brace herself.

  “It’s good to see you, George. You’re looking handsome today.”

  He grinned. “I was just thinking to myself how handsome I am.”

  She laughed and shook her head. The softness of her neck was a temptation almost too much to bear.

  “You look like a summer flower, sweet Eva.” She glowed under his praise but said nothing more.

  He picked up the lines and flicked them, contemplating just where along the trail he would take her. Part of him wanted to be caught. He was tired of the lies to Eva. If he took her to the edge of the Ferguson ranch, there was a chance one of her brothers-in-law would be out riding and see them, or even Brody himself. Then he’d be saved from the deceit. There was also the possibility she might recall him. Deep in his gut, he knew she wouldn’t ever tell him the truth of what she was doing. Captain Roth knew about the picture she’d given to the Indians. Mr. Roth couldn’t ask about that. He shouldn’t know about it at all. The longer he had to be Mr. Roth, the less he liked the man. It was also clear that while Eva thought she’d kissed Mr. Roth, she only responded when he allowed who he was as Captain Roth to come through.

  He pulled off the road where he’d met the Indian by the little creek, just a few hills away from Ferguson land. They probably wouldn’t be discovered there. If they were, he’d deal with it. Eva glanced over at him as he pulled the lines and the horses slowed.

  “This is a pretty spot. What made you choose it?”

  “It’s not too far out of town in case we tire of one another’s company.” He glanced at her and the slight look of hurt in her eyes stopped him short. “Aw, don’t look at me that way. We’ve been rushing away from each other for five straight days.”

  A pink tinge colored her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I…haven’t, that is, I didn’t know how to deal with…”

  He picked up her hand and caressed the soft flesh on top. “I didn’t expect you to. It’s been a bit of a touch to my pride, that’s all. I’ve never actually chased a woman across the room with a mere look before.” He turned from her and forced himself to watch his feet as he climbed down to give her a moment to let her color subside. That had been unexpected. They’d joked to break the tension before, but the few days of avoiding her had made him prickly, too.

  He came around to her side of the small rig as she stood to climb down. He held her loosely at the waist until her feet touched the ground and released her immediately, though his hands didn’t want to. She glanced at him for a moment, her brow crinkled in confusion, and turned from him. She strode off toward the small creek, shielding her eyes even with the pretty hat while he unhitched Argus. The temperamental horse tried to take a hunk out of his leg for hooking him up to the noisy contraption. A giggle from behind drew him around.

  Eva stood watching him, her slight hand covering her mouth and her eyes bright with mirth.

  “So you think Argus is funny, do you?”

  She approached, slow but confident, brushing Argus’s forelock from his eyes and rubbing the star she exposed.

  “Now, aren’t you handsome,” she whispered, her soft voice sending tension singing through him.

  Argus leaned forward, pushing his whole head into her for more attention.

  “Hey, no being greedy there.” George pulled back on the harness to keep Argus from shoving her into the ground. “He must like you. Generally, he only tolerates people. Even then, only if it suits him.”

  “Strange. Like when I first met you, it feels like I’ve met him before. But that can’t be.” She petted Argus’s cheeks and then turned to face him, her eyes seeking to know more than he could tell. “Can it?”

  He’d been given the chance. If he told her now who he was, he could ask her straight out what she was up to—if anything—and get back to his life as a ranger. Doing so might mean losing what they’d started. He might not even be able to go back to what he loved. If he told her the truth, he’d be disobeying a direct order. While he wasn’t directly under the command of the army, in this case, he was doing army business.

  “No, I’m sure it can’t be.” The lie felt like acid in his throat. “Why don’t I show you something?” Changing her thoughts would help her forget Argus. “There’s a flat rock you can sit on and the view of the water is pretty.”

  She seemed thrown off balance by his change of subject. Confusion clouded her eyes, and she glanced from Argus to the creek as if she didn’t quite know where she should go. He held out his hand. She smiled warmly and took it, walking alongside him. He allowed himself the pleasant pressure of her hand in his.

  “I’m sorry, George. I know I’ve behaved strangely. You must think I’m incredibly silly.” She stopped and her face darkened in concern. “You see, I’ve…met another Mr. Roth not so long ago. He took something from me that can never be replaced, and I find myself very unsure when I’m with you. Unsure that I’m acting the way I should. Perhaps worried that what he took will make what we have begun impossible. I’m sure I’m just confusing you more.” Her face pinched as she looked away.

  His heart lurched, and then raced. She really did suspect him of taking her notebook but, obviously, something far more precious as well. “Surely whatever he took couldn’t have been so important? Important enough to ruin this?” He reached for her face.

  She flashed an angry glare at him, and he dropped his hand. She moved over to the flat rock on her own. “I’d rather not speak of what he took from me. But suffice it to say, it sometimes makes being with you uncomfortable. I get these flashes of memory, like just now with Argus. I only tell you so that you understand and perhaps won’t condemn me when or if I trust myself to tell you someday.”

  She wasn’t talking about a notebook. There was no way that much anger could come from missing a few drawings. Here was more information that only Captain Roth could glean, but would she even speak to him if she knew who he really was? Could he take that chance?

  “I’m sorry.” He laid his hands on her shoulders and she tensed. “I hope you know that I mean you no harm. Our friendship will be, unfortunately, most temporary if you are unsure of how we should continue. Only while we work together for Mrs. Hearst. Then you won’t have to hear the name Roth again. If you desire it, I’ll disappear back to my home and never see you again.”

  She shivered. “I will miss you, George. I’ll give you that. But the completion of this project will not spare me hearing your name. My family doesn’t know the extent of what happened. But should Captain Roth show his face again, he’ll have to answer for what he did.” He stepped around the rock to face her and her face was pale, eyes distant. The pencil she pinched between her finger and thumb bounced nervously off her leg.

  He’d taken nothing from her but her drawings. What could her family think he did? “I’ll give you a few minutes alone. Seems like you might need it.” George turned back to Argus so Eva could let steam off. What could she possibly mean? He’d done nothing to her that day. Well, aside from holding her against the tree to get to what she was hiding. He hadn’t realized she hit her head so hard that she wasn’t thinking, and it would make her sick. What else could she be missing?

  She couldn’t think he’d done anything to her…not when she was barely conscious and covered in… No. There had to be something else she feared. He’d never taken advantage of a woman. Even when he’d been given the direct order to use any means necessary to get the information from Eva, he hadn’t. He’d stopped that night on the cliff where, if he’d followed orders, he wouldn’t have. His stomach pitched at the thought. No wonder she didn’t trust him. He was her worst nightmare.

  George stood over by his horse, but it did little to relieve the tension bunching Eva’s shoulders. Her own distrust showed him the way. He couldn’t tell her the truth. Not today.

  Argus was an amazing horse, one that wouldn’t easily be forgotten, but could he convince her that she’d seen the horse with him, as Mr. Roth? The thought of another lie twisted his gut. The horse’s roan coat shone in the sun and his white star was bright and clean. Even when he was dirty after living on the trail, he’d be hard to forget.

  There was no way she could sit comfortably on the rock and hold her paper. From the corner of his eye, he watched her shift her position and stretch her back. He could foster temporary trust between them by being of service. Allow himself to pack away Mr. Roth and be himself for a while. Enjoy the free day with a beautiful woman. It would come to an end soon enough.

  He strode back and shaded her from the sun to let her know he was there. “I can sit behind you. You can lean against me, rest a little. Sitting on a rock isn’t like sitting on a stool.” She glanced up. He captured her gaze and held it. Eva didn’t reply and he sat behind her, pushing himself close, enjoying even the feel of her back against his. “Just relax for a minute.”

  Her muscles bunched and flexed as she leaned against him until she pushed away, dragging a deep breath from her lungs.

  He leaned back and touched her shoulder with his, the slight contact making her jump. “No sense in rushing off. You haven’t even had a chance to draw anything yet.” He turned back and waited as she settled back against him but couldn’t relax. Every bit of her was rigid. This outing wasn’t going near how he’d planned. The heat from her back poured into his, adding to the warmth of the sweltering sun. She flexed her wrists in circles and raked her hand across her forehead. A girl’s head appeared out of the grass just within his view and Eva gasped.

 

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