Commitment Collection 2- Ignition; Turbo Charged; Pole Position, page 21
part #4 of Commitment Series
“Invite all your shareholders in and show them everything you’re spending their money on. When they see where the investment is being funneled, they won’t be able to deny the good you’re doing. They will then be your best ambassadors, and the business pages will have to listen to them because they carry weight.”
“You are a fucking genius.” My heart now soars as I stand, banging into the desk in my eagerness to hug her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear.”
“It’s OK. Don’t worry. I would swear too in your position, but we need to get you out of this mess. And quick.” I leave my arms around her a little too long as I take a solitary moment to just breathe in the peace this woman has given me by suggesting a workable solution. “Thank you.”
She laughs. It’s light and a little abashed. “It’s nothing. That’s what you pay me for. To have your back. I’ve learned a few things over the years.” She pulls away but leaves her hands on my biceps. “You’ve got this, Elliott. Now go and call these people and make this happen. I’ll speak to Jessie and get her to pull this shindig together. I’ve already allocated next Tuesday afternoon for it in your calendar.”
Once again, I’m floored. “You are the absolute dream that I have been waiting for my entire life.”
Kyle
We spend the next few days makings sure that not only are we fully PR conversant, but also that we’re ready to turn any negative into a positive.
“Always a positive spin.” Jessie repeats this line over and over until I’m thinking about it in my dreams. She has us answering a plethora of test questions, each of which we must reply to with a yes rather than a no. There’s a knack to it and it’s good to have some time to practice.
Jessie: “So, Kyle. What have the issues with the team been since you took over?”
Kyle: “We found some holes in expertise, but we’ve-”
Jessie: “STOP. What did you do wrong?”
Kyle: “Uh, I don’t know. You interrupted me before I could get to the positive.”
Jessie: “Because you didn’t get to it straight away. If I’m an investor now, I’ve stopped listening. I’m thinking that you don’t have the expertise in your team to make a safe investment from my hard-earned cash.”
Kyle: “Uh. OK.”
Jessie: “Let’s go again. What have the issues with the team been since you took over?”
Kyle: “It wasn’t the amount of knowledge that was the issue, more accessing it in a structured way, so we’ve realigned the team and brought in new people to better manage that.”
Jessie: “Perfect.”
She also teaches us how to avoid answering questions that we either don’t have the answer to, or that we don’t want to reveal.
Jessie: “So, Kyle. What have the issues with the team been since you took over?”
Kyle: “It’s not so much the issues with the team that have been the problem, but more dealing with third party suppliers who are not used to responding at the speed we’re now demanding. We got there though. Already response times have now improved by 32%, and we’re not done yet.”
She’s given me a checklist of facts and figures I need to be able to pull from my butt as and when needed.
“It sounds like you know your stuff if you can recite percentages. Don’t forget, Kyle. These are investors, and they’re interested in number crunching.”
When Elliott suggested this event, I assumed that I’d just be giving these guys a quick show around the garage. I’d wax lyrical about the importance of one part over a substitute. It turns out not to be so easy.
I must delve into the whys and wherefores. I have to be able to recount that we have changed the supplier of our wheel nuts and have made a saving of 7%. I also need to be sure to tell them that we are now buying screws in bulk, and although this bulk purchase has eaten away at a substantial investment, the 12% we are saving by purchasing this way is far greater than leaving the funds in the bank.
“It explains cash flow issues,” she says.
“Jessie, I had no idea you had all of this in you. You’re great with the press and events, but the back story that goes into producing all of that is tremendous. I’ll never look at you in the same light again. Now I know why Elliott doesn’t want you to leave.”
Axel, who has been sitting quietly listening to everything playing out and no doubt taking studious notes, visibly stiffens. My heart sinks. I made him feel bad. I didn’t mean to, but surely he can see what a pro Jessie is. I think about saying something to soften my blow, then decide against it. If he can’t deal with a little harsh reality, then he’ll never survive in this industry.
On top of all of this preparation, I’m still busy running the day to day of the business. We can’t afford to let anything slip with our backers coming in and scrutinizing everything, so not only is the place pristine, but we’re also encouraging the guys to accept overtime to finish up every detail of our work so we can show them the reality of what our hard work can do on the car. We’re taking them to the wind tunnel.
Kyle
It’s not just the investors in the business I should be concerned with. The bank is being ridiculous about releasing the money to build the next stage of the house. Both ours that we’ll live in and the apartments. They’ve seen the press and need further information from us before they will release the next batch of money. I feel sick when I take the call. Thank goodness it came through to me rather than to Elliott. He has enough to cope with at the moment without this being thrown into his mix.
But, as I stand there in the middle of our workshop, it occurs to me for the first time that we could actually lose everything. Without the cash to pay the builders, they will put down the tools and leave the site. And that means we’re left with a couple of half-built properties that are worth substantially less than we owe on them. Hell, the house we’re meant to be living in isn’t even sellable at the moment as it’s not on our land.
‘Shit, what have we done? This was on me. If I’d listened to Elliott, we would at least have a property we could sell that would be worth more than a pile of bricks.’
Scenarios of how to fix this almighty mess skitter through my brain. They range from walking into the bank and pleading for understanding, to obtaining a short-term loan from the likes of Daisy or other friendly investors, but quite frankly, they’re all ridiculous. We’re in a mess and the only way out of it is to wow these venture capitalists when they come on Tuesday.
I won't tell Elliott. He’s got enough on his plate, and this whole fiasco can be cleared up without him even knowing. The last thing he needs now is to be worrying about us losing everything he’s ever worked for. Potentially losing the team is enough.
What it does mean though is that I have a pile of work ready for contractors and no funds with which to pay them. They’ll head off onto other, paying jobs, and who knows when we’ll get them back? More problematic is that I also don’t have any money to pay Daisy.
I’ve allowed her to manage everything, and I wouldn’t have a clue where to pick this project up myself anymore. Plus, when would I have the time? I’m flat out managing the business. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything, even if I knew how to.
I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pick up the phone. However, when I do, Daisy is not in a jovial mood and after some cursory greetings she dives right in.
“Look, Kyle, I know we’re friends, but this is a business arrangement. I can’t work for nothing. And I won’t ask anyone else to either. I’m going to have to stand down and allow my contractors to do the same until this financial shit storm blows over.”
Oh my goodness. She did it. She backed off and left us in the shit. I don’t blame her, but now what? “It’s OK, Daisy. I understand. You know this is just temporary though, don’t you?”
“This problem isn't just your mess, Kyle. It's mine. Whether this story is legitimate or not becomes irrelevant when the resulting effect is that your funds dry up. People believe what they hear and as well as your properties, I’ve also invested in Judd Racing. If you two go belly up, then I will also lose everything. Much as I love you, I can’t hang about relying on nothing more financially sound than good will and long-standing friendships. I have to find some other income and fast.”
My heart lurches. “What does that mean? That you don’t trust us? You know better than anyone how far into this we are. We’re not going to pull out.”
“I know you don’t want to, but you’ve invested everything and at the moment, you have no assets to sell if your plans go south. It’s too much of a risk for me not to at least hedge my bets.”
“So, are you planning on pulling out of Judd Racing as well as the contracting work?”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “I need my investment to work for me. I’m not making any rash decisions but this is business. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Listen, Daisy. If you pull out, the bank will hear about it, and they’ll be even less likely to release our funds. Therefore, you will have less chance of our construction projects completing and being paid.”
“True, but at least I’d exit this arrangement with some return intact.” That sounds like Daisy has made her decision and is just waiting for the right time to exit.
I pace, sweat prickling my scalp. “Look, I’ll see you on Tuesday. When you see what’s going on, you won’t be thinking about pulling out anymore. Until then, Daisy?”
“OK, Kyle. Let’s talk later.”
Elliott
Tuesday rolls around too quickly for my liking. I’ve been to the toilet three times already. This is the first time it’s dawned on me why CEOs have their own bathrooms off their offices. We’re all just ordinary people who succumb to everyday fears and self-doubts, struggling to do our best in a scary big world.
“You OK in here?” Jackie peers around the door.
“Sure, just give me a second.”
“Your guests are arriving. You need to come out now.”
Shit. I run my hands down my suit legs and take a deep breath, all the way into my stomach the way Jessie showed me years ago before I went into one of my first press conferences. I hold it there for a few beats, and then when I slowly release it, I imagine all the tension of the last few weeks just floating away from my body with my breath.
It works. And after a few more, I’m ready to face the world.
As I walk down the steps that take me into the front lobby, I turn on my practiced smile, and Elliott Judd, racing driver extraordinaire, automatically resurfaces from some unknown depths.
“Elliott, pleased to see you,” Taran Chana is here first and stands breaking what could be an otherwise awkward silence. My name echoes off the tiled floors.
“And likewise. I’m so delighted you could make it.” Actually, I’m concerned that everyone I invited, all of these incredibly busy and successful business people, happened to be free on this particular Tuesday afternoon, at short notice. It says a lot to me about the level of their concern about how I’m running this organization, and it’s that more than the presentation I’m about to make that has had me glued to the toilet in my office all morning.
“I’m so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing with the press at the moment.” He covers the palm he is shaking with his other.
“Ah, it’s nothing, as you will see this afternoon. Everything is in order. It’s just a bit of competitors’ horseplay no doubt. That’s why I thought it was just best to head this off at the pass. Set this whole thing to bed.”
“Indeed, my good man. Excellent ploy.”
Other investors arrive and I make my way around them all, meeting and greeting and welcoming them into the fold. When everyone is gathered, except Daisy, I check my phone to see if she’s left a message. It’s blank so I wind through the crowds, smiling politely until I reach Kyle.
“Have you heard from Daisy?”
He shakes his head, looking around the room, then whispers. “Sorry, I should have said, she texted me to say she didn’t want to disturb you, but that there’s a problem that she needs to attend to so she’s staying to deal with that. She won’t be here, El. You can go ahead without her.”
Elliott
I lead everyone to the boardroom and stand at the front. A sudden chill sweeps through my body, and my veins run cold. This is it, the moment that will decide our fate. And so soon into what should be such an exciting time.
My face is still plastered with my press-ready grin. I step forward, clear my throat, and then I speak.
“Thank you for making the time to be with us this afternoon. I’m not going to beat around the bush. It’s short notice, because we’ve all seen the recent articles in the media and I wanted to deal with this head on. As a driver, I’m not the type to pussyfoot about, and you’ll find that’s not my business style either. We will take you through the factory today and show you everything that we have planned. We’ll go through our plans for a new engine. Kyle will explain how we will restructure to bring in fresh talent while utilizing our existing workforce more effectively. We will see the facilities that we have invested in to not only test the car’s performance but also the drivers’. Within a few hours you will see that yes, Judd Racing is very much in the red at the moment, but that is because we are investing like crazy in a future that will deliver a positive return on investment within three years. That’s unheard of in this industry, but we’re setting that up today.”
Searching the faces in the room, I’m able to ascertain that they’re with me. Some are nodding, others are smiling, encouraging me along.
I take a deep breath. “One elephant in the room I do want to address before we get started is this whole recent story of my house being on the company’s grounds. You will see from the figures,” I press the clicker to switch over the power-point slide, “that Kyle and I are by far the heaviest investors in Judd Racing. This means that building on the estate here is not only cost effective, allowing us to invest more heavily in the team, thus driving forward the speed at which we all see a return, but it is sensible, with the hours we are working to be close to the factory. We are both on call twenty-four-seven. We need to be close by.”
I agonized over whether to bring this up at all, or just wait to be asked, but in the end, I decided it was best to just deal with it head on. By the time they have all been wowed by everything else we are doing, I’m crossing my fingers they will have forgotten about this. It’s not that I’m doing anything underhanded, but I am acutely aware that it sounds bad. And a person’s perception is their reality.
“So, before we head out, does anyone have any questions? We will have time at the end if you have anything else as well as during, of course.”
“I have one that hasn’t been covered,” Taran speaks up while simultaneously raising his hand.
“Please, go ahead.”
“Well, it’s a bit awkward, as this is to do with your personal situation, but I would appreciate your comment on the bank pulling your mortgages on your houses. As I’m sure you’ll appreciate it is linked to our position quite closely.”
Kyle
Elliott’s face drops, turns pink and his wide eyes scan the room for me. ‘Fuck, how did they know about that?’
He stutters, his body rigid with tension as a hand automatically shoots to his head and he runs his fingers through his mop of blonde curls.
This is it.
This is the moment that Jessie has trained me for.
It’s my turn to stand up both figuratively and physically.
“Thanks for your question, Taran. I’m afraid Elliott only concentrates his attentions on the business and as these are two entirely unrelated projects, I deal with our personal undertakings. That way he is fully focused on securing the success of this factory and Judd Racing. I am therefore the best person to comment on your query.”
I smile, just like Jessie taught me, as though I don’t mind one bit the humiliation of discussing our private matters in such a public forum. I also ensure to keep my tone soft and my pace level. I continue, “The issue is. though, that there isn’t a question to answer. The bank is not releasing their finances, that is true, but that is only the same situation as it would be for any other part-built project. We are not yet at the milestone where the next release of funds is due.”
I’m directing my look at Taran, but I’m watching Elliott out of the corner of my eye. I see his shoulders relax from around his ears, and he shifts position as the muscles of his legs soften.
“Ah, that’s interesting, because that isn’t the information I have received.”
Elliott stiffens again, his spine ramrod straight and his eyes glaring at me. I ignore him as best I can, all the while, my heart jack hammering so hard, I’m sure it’s going to burst out of my rib cage. I make a conscious effort, the way Jessie has trained me, not to allow anyone to see how fast it’s beating. I make a point of only allowing my chest to move up and down at a steady pace. My head swims from lack of oxygen as guilt twists in my stomach.
I did not need to have this conversation now, not in a public forum with the people who hold our lives in their hands, but also not with Elliott watching on, oblivious to the gravity of our situation. I could make him look a fool so easily now and that is the last thing I want to do.
I must play my cards cleverly.
Our lives depend on this.
“Would you be able to elaborate on where you received your material please, as I need to set that straight?”
Taran shakes his head, “I’m sorry. I am not at liberty to discuss that, but it is a reliable source.”
I want to scream at him that he’s not at liberty to tell us where he gleaned that piece of personal information from, and yet he feels he is at liberty to discuss these rumors in a public forum in front of every other person who controls our future. Instead of losing my shit, I smile, and say kindly, “Well perhaps we could have a private conversation about that later in a more appropriate setting.”
“You are a fucking genius.” My heart now soars as I stand, banging into the desk in my eagerness to hug her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear.”
“It’s OK. Don’t worry. I would swear too in your position, but we need to get you out of this mess. And quick.” I leave my arms around her a little too long as I take a solitary moment to just breathe in the peace this woman has given me by suggesting a workable solution. “Thank you.”
She laughs. It’s light and a little abashed. “It’s nothing. That’s what you pay me for. To have your back. I’ve learned a few things over the years.” She pulls away but leaves her hands on my biceps. “You’ve got this, Elliott. Now go and call these people and make this happen. I’ll speak to Jessie and get her to pull this shindig together. I’ve already allocated next Tuesday afternoon for it in your calendar.”
Once again, I’m floored. “You are the absolute dream that I have been waiting for my entire life.”
Kyle
We spend the next few days makings sure that not only are we fully PR conversant, but also that we’re ready to turn any negative into a positive.
“Always a positive spin.” Jessie repeats this line over and over until I’m thinking about it in my dreams. She has us answering a plethora of test questions, each of which we must reply to with a yes rather than a no. There’s a knack to it and it’s good to have some time to practice.
Jessie: “So, Kyle. What have the issues with the team been since you took over?”
Kyle: “We found some holes in expertise, but we’ve-”
Jessie: “STOP. What did you do wrong?”
Kyle: “Uh, I don’t know. You interrupted me before I could get to the positive.”
Jessie: “Because you didn’t get to it straight away. If I’m an investor now, I’ve stopped listening. I’m thinking that you don’t have the expertise in your team to make a safe investment from my hard-earned cash.”
Kyle: “Uh. OK.”
Jessie: “Let’s go again. What have the issues with the team been since you took over?”
Kyle: “It wasn’t the amount of knowledge that was the issue, more accessing it in a structured way, so we’ve realigned the team and brought in new people to better manage that.”
Jessie: “Perfect.”
She also teaches us how to avoid answering questions that we either don’t have the answer to, or that we don’t want to reveal.
Jessie: “So, Kyle. What have the issues with the team been since you took over?”
Kyle: “It’s not so much the issues with the team that have been the problem, but more dealing with third party suppliers who are not used to responding at the speed we’re now demanding. We got there though. Already response times have now improved by 32%, and we’re not done yet.”
She’s given me a checklist of facts and figures I need to be able to pull from my butt as and when needed.
“It sounds like you know your stuff if you can recite percentages. Don’t forget, Kyle. These are investors, and they’re interested in number crunching.”
When Elliott suggested this event, I assumed that I’d just be giving these guys a quick show around the garage. I’d wax lyrical about the importance of one part over a substitute. It turns out not to be so easy.
I must delve into the whys and wherefores. I have to be able to recount that we have changed the supplier of our wheel nuts and have made a saving of 7%. I also need to be sure to tell them that we are now buying screws in bulk, and although this bulk purchase has eaten away at a substantial investment, the 12% we are saving by purchasing this way is far greater than leaving the funds in the bank.
“It explains cash flow issues,” she says.
“Jessie, I had no idea you had all of this in you. You’re great with the press and events, but the back story that goes into producing all of that is tremendous. I’ll never look at you in the same light again. Now I know why Elliott doesn’t want you to leave.”
Axel, who has been sitting quietly listening to everything playing out and no doubt taking studious notes, visibly stiffens. My heart sinks. I made him feel bad. I didn’t mean to, but surely he can see what a pro Jessie is. I think about saying something to soften my blow, then decide against it. If he can’t deal with a little harsh reality, then he’ll never survive in this industry.
On top of all of this preparation, I’m still busy running the day to day of the business. We can’t afford to let anything slip with our backers coming in and scrutinizing everything, so not only is the place pristine, but we’re also encouraging the guys to accept overtime to finish up every detail of our work so we can show them the reality of what our hard work can do on the car. We’re taking them to the wind tunnel.
Kyle
It’s not just the investors in the business I should be concerned with. The bank is being ridiculous about releasing the money to build the next stage of the house. Both ours that we’ll live in and the apartments. They’ve seen the press and need further information from us before they will release the next batch of money. I feel sick when I take the call. Thank goodness it came through to me rather than to Elliott. He has enough to cope with at the moment without this being thrown into his mix.
But, as I stand there in the middle of our workshop, it occurs to me for the first time that we could actually lose everything. Without the cash to pay the builders, they will put down the tools and leave the site. And that means we’re left with a couple of half-built properties that are worth substantially less than we owe on them. Hell, the house we’re meant to be living in isn’t even sellable at the moment as it’s not on our land.
‘Shit, what have we done? This was on me. If I’d listened to Elliott, we would at least have a property we could sell that would be worth more than a pile of bricks.’
Scenarios of how to fix this almighty mess skitter through my brain. They range from walking into the bank and pleading for understanding, to obtaining a short-term loan from the likes of Daisy or other friendly investors, but quite frankly, they’re all ridiculous. We’re in a mess and the only way out of it is to wow these venture capitalists when they come on Tuesday.
I won't tell Elliott. He’s got enough on his plate, and this whole fiasco can be cleared up without him even knowing. The last thing he needs now is to be worrying about us losing everything he’s ever worked for. Potentially losing the team is enough.
What it does mean though is that I have a pile of work ready for contractors and no funds with which to pay them. They’ll head off onto other, paying jobs, and who knows when we’ll get them back? More problematic is that I also don’t have any money to pay Daisy.
I’ve allowed her to manage everything, and I wouldn’t have a clue where to pick this project up myself anymore. Plus, when would I have the time? I’m flat out managing the business. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything, even if I knew how to.
I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pick up the phone. However, when I do, Daisy is not in a jovial mood and after some cursory greetings she dives right in.
“Look, Kyle, I know we’re friends, but this is a business arrangement. I can’t work for nothing. And I won’t ask anyone else to either. I’m going to have to stand down and allow my contractors to do the same until this financial shit storm blows over.”
Oh my goodness. She did it. She backed off and left us in the shit. I don’t blame her, but now what? “It’s OK, Daisy. I understand. You know this is just temporary though, don’t you?”
“This problem isn't just your mess, Kyle. It's mine. Whether this story is legitimate or not becomes irrelevant when the resulting effect is that your funds dry up. People believe what they hear and as well as your properties, I’ve also invested in Judd Racing. If you two go belly up, then I will also lose everything. Much as I love you, I can’t hang about relying on nothing more financially sound than good will and long-standing friendships. I have to find some other income and fast.”
My heart lurches. “What does that mean? That you don’t trust us? You know better than anyone how far into this we are. We’re not going to pull out.”
“I know you don’t want to, but you’ve invested everything and at the moment, you have no assets to sell if your plans go south. It’s too much of a risk for me not to at least hedge my bets.”
“So, are you planning on pulling out of Judd Racing as well as the contracting work?”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “I need my investment to work for me. I’m not making any rash decisions but this is business. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Listen, Daisy. If you pull out, the bank will hear about it, and they’ll be even less likely to release our funds. Therefore, you will have less chance of our construction projects completing and being paid.”
“True, but at least I’d exit this arrangement with some return intact.” That sounds like Daisy has made her decision and is just waiting for the right time to exit.
I pace, sweat prickling my scalp. “Look, I’ll see you on Tuesday. When you see what’s going on, you won’t be thinking about pulling out anymore. Until then, Daisy?”
“OK, Kyle. Let’s talk later.”
Elliott
Tuesday rolls around too quickly for my liking. I’ve been to the toilet three times already. This is the first time it’s dawned on me why CEOs have their own bathrooms off their offices. We’re all just ordinary people who succumb to everyday fears and self-doubts, struggling to do our best in a scary big world.
“You OK in here?” Jackie peers around the door.
“Sure, just give me a second.”
“Your guests are arriving. You need to come out now.”
Shit. I run my hands down my suit legs and take a deep breath, all the way into my stomach the way Jessie showed me years ago before I went into one of my first press conferences. I hold it there for a few beats, and then when I slowly release it, I imagine all the tension of the last few weeks just floating away from my body with my breath.
It works. And after a few more, I’m ready to face the world.
As I walk down the steps that take me into the front lobby, I turn on my practiced smile, and Elliott Judd, racing driver extraordinaire, automatically resurfaces from some unknown depths.
“Elliott, pleased to see you,” Taran Chana is here first and stands breaking what could be an otherwise awkward silence. My name echoes off the tiled floors.
“And likewise. I’m so delighted you could make it.” Actually, I’m concerned that everyone I invited, all of these incredibly busy and successful business people, happened to be free on this particular Tuesday afternoon, at short notice. It says a lot to me about the level of their concern about how I’m running this organization, and it’s that more than the presentation I’m about to make that has had me glued to the toilet in my office all morning.
“I’m so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing with the press at the moment.” He covers the palm he is shaking with his other.
“Ah, it’s nothing, as you will see this afternoon. Everything is in order. It’s just a bit of competitors’ horseplay no doubt. That’s why I thought it was just best to head this off at the pass. Set this whole thing to bed.”
“Indeed, my good man. Excellent ploy.”
Other investors arrive and I make my way around them all, meeting and greeting and welcoming them into the fold. When everyone is gathered, except Daisy, I check my phone to see if she’s left a message. It’s blank so I wind through the crowds, smiling politely until I reach Kyle.
“Have you heard from Daisy?”
He shakes his head, looking around the room, then whispers. “Sorry, I should have said, she texted me to say she didn’t want to disturb you, but that there’s a problem that she needs to attend to so she’s staying to deal with that. She won’t be here, El. You can go ahead without her.”
Elliott
I lead everyone to the boardroom and stand at the front. A sudden chill sweeps through my body, and my veins run cold. This is it, the moment that will decide our fate. And so soon into what should be such an exciting time.
My face is still plastered with my press-ready grin. I step forward, clear my throat, and then I speak.
“Thank you for making the time to be with us this afternoon. I’m not going to beat around the bush. It’s short notice, because we’ve all seen the recent articles in the media and I wanted to deal with this head on. As a driver, I’m not the type to pussyfoot about, and you’ll find that’s not my business style either. We will take you through the factory today and show you everything that we have planned. We’ll go through our plans for a new engine. Kyle will explain how we will restructure to bring in fresh talent while utilizing our existing workforce more effectively. We will see the facilities that we have invested in to not only test the car’s performance but also the drivers’. Within a few hours you will see that yes, Judd Racing is very much in the red at the moment, but that is because we are investing like crazy in a future that will deliver a positive return on investment within three years. That’s unheard of in this industry, but we’re setting that up today.”
Searching the faces in the room, I’m able to ascertain that they’re with me. Some are nodding, others are smiling, encouraging me along.
I take a deep breath. “One elephant in the room I do want to address before we get started is this whole recent story of my house being on the company’s grounds. You will see from the figures,” I press the clicker to switch over the power-point slide, “that Kyle and I are by far the heaviest investors in Judd Racing. This means that building on the estate here is not only cost effective, allowing us to invest more heavily in the team, thus driving forward the speed at which we all see a return, but it is sensible, with the hours we are working to be close to the factory. We are both on call twenty-four-seven. We need to be close by.”
I agonized over whether to bring this up at all, or just wait to be asked, but in the end, I decided it was best to just deal with it head on. By the time they have all been wowed by everything else we are doing, I’m crossing my fingers they will have forgotten about this. It’s not that I’m doing anything underhanded, but I am acutely aware that it sounds bad. And a person’s perception is their reality.
“So, before we head out, does anyone have any questions? We will have time at the end if you have anything else as well as during, of course.”
“I have one that hasn’t been covered,” Taran speaks up while simultaneously raising his hand.
“Please, go ahead.”
“Well, it’s a bit awkward, as this is to do with your personal situation, but I would appreciate your comment on the bank pulling your mortgages on your houses. As I’m sure you’ll appreciate it is linked to our position quite closely.”
Kyle
Elliott’s face drops, turns pink and his wide eyes scan the room for me. ‘Fuck, how did they know about that?’
He stutters, his body rigid with tension as a hand automatically shoots to his head and he runs his fingers through his mop of blonde curls.
This is it.
This is the moment that Jessie has trained me for.
It’s my turn to stand up both figuratively and physically.
“Thanks for your question, Taran. I’m afraid Elliott only concentrates his attentions on the business and as these are two entirely unrelated projects, I deal with our personal undertakings. That way he is fully focused on securing the success of this factory and Judd Racing. I am therefore the best person to comment on your query.”
I smile, just like Jessie taught me, as though I don’t mind one bit the humiliation of discussing our private matters in such a public forum. I also ensure to keep my tone soft and my pace level. I continue, “The issue is. though, that there isn’t a question to answer. The bank is not releasing their finances, that is true, but that is only the same situation as it would be for any other part-built project. We are not yet at the milestone where the next release of funds is due.”
I’m directing my look at Taran, but I’m watching Elliott out of the corner of my eye. I see his shoulders relax from around his ears, and he shifts position as the muscles of his legs soften.
“Ah, that’s interesting, because that isn’t the information I have received.”
Elliott stiffens again, his spine ramrod straight and his eyes glaring at me. I ignore him as best I can, all the while, my heart jack hammering so hard, I’m sure it’s going to burst out of my rib cage. I make a conscious effort, the way Jessie has trained me, not to allow anyone to see how fast it’s beating. I make a point of only allowing my chest to move up and down at a steady pace. My head swims from lack of oxygen as guilt twists in my stomach.
I did not need to have this conversation now, not in a public forum with the people who hold our lives in their hands, but also not with Elliott watching on, oblivious to the gravity of our situation. I could make him look a fool so easily now and that is the last thing I want to do.
I must play my cards cleverly.
Our lives depend on this.
“Would you be able to elaborate on where you received your material please, as I need to set that straight?”
Taran shakes his head, “I’m sorry. I am not at liberty to discuss that, but it is a reliable source.”
I want to scream at him that he’s not at liberty to tell us where he gleaned that piece of personal information from, and yet he feels he is at liberty to discuss these rumors in a public forum in front of every other person who controls our future. Instead of losing my shit, I smile, and say kindly, “Well perhaps we could have a private conversation about that later in a more appropriate setting.”
