Revenge of ZomBert, page 1
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Acknowledgments
Author and Illustrator Bios
He remembered the last night he saw his brother.
Had it been months? A year? Longer? Time was hard to measure in the Cold Place, far from the woods where he and Brother and Sister were born, where their mother had cared for them before she’d disappeared. Then the Rough Hands had come to the woods, and captured them, and brought them all here. And started their experiments.
On that last night, he and Brother were both so weak, from whatever the Rough Hands had given them. But Brother was weaker. He moaned in the adjoining cage.
“It’s all right,” he’d said to Brother. “I’m here.”
“I’m so tired,” Brother replied, his voice barely a whisper.
“I know. Stay with me,” he’d said. “Stay with me.”
“You’re the strong one,” Brother had said. “Always have been. Sister knew it, too.”
Sister. She’d been the smallest of their litter, and the loudest. She’d been in the cage on his other side, until she’d grown weak, too. And then she was quiet forever. The Rough Hands had come in the night and taken her away.
“Stay with me,” he’d said again. And again. And again.
But then the Rough Hands came and took Brother away, too.
“You’re alive,” he said now.
“You sound surprised,” Brother replied. His voice was low now, and growling. His body was big, his back muscular, his thick tail twitching aggressively. And his eyes were cold.
“When the Rough Hands took you away, you never returned. Like Sister. I feared the worst.”
“Sister was weak. I am strong,” Brother said. He narrowed his eyes. “Stronger than you.”
I don’t understand,” Greg said.
Kari barely understood what was going on, either, but Greg was even further behind, as usual. Why did he always expect her to explain everything to him? He followed her off of the elevator to the lab, where she punched in the key code.
“The Big Boss decided to introduce the Yummconium formula to the people of Lambert,” Kari said. “It was in the free food at the Harvest Festival.”
“I didn’t realize the Yummconium formula was ready,” Greg said.
Kari didn’t, either. She didn’t want to admit that the Big Boss’s decision had been a surprise. But it seemed obvious now why the Big Boss had been so adamant that the food at the festival be free. They were supposed to be giving something “special” to Lambert that day. Kari had no idea how special. But she couldn’t admit this to Greg. He was supposed to be the clueless one.
“If the Big Boss thought it was ready, it must be,” Kari said.
“But, I mean . . . is it legal to give it to people without them knowing?” Greg asked. “That seems wrong.”
“That’s for the Big Boss to worry about. We need to check on the research subjects,” Kari said. She strode into the lab and grabbed her YummPad.
“I guess,” said Greg. “Though it seems like everyone in Lambert is a research subject now. Except for us, of course.”
“Mroooooow,” said the cat in cage Y-91. It sat very still and regarded them both with wide yellow eyes.
“We can’t let this one get away again,” said Kari, leaning in. “This cat is the only animal still living with the original formula. We thought it killed him, but it looks like that formula created all the effects we were hoping for: the heightened senses, the increased brain function, the regenerative powers, and the increased appetite.”
“And this one?” Greg asked, pointing at the cat in cage Y-92.
“We thought Y-92 hadn’t reacted well to the original formula, either, so we gave it the new formula, the one we’re now calling Yummconium,” Kari said, tapping through results on her YummPad. “It has all the effects of the original, with two additions: weakened inhibitions and violent tendencies. You don’t want to get in between this one and whatever it’s craving.”
“So . . . that’s what everyone in Lambert was given?” Greg asked.
At that moment, Y-92 growled and Kari and Greg jumped back. It bared its fangs and batted at the bars of its cage.
What have we started? Kari thought.
It looks like just about everyone in town is here,” Danny said when we finally got to Super YummCo.
I blinked, taking it all in. “And they’re consuming everything in sight.”
YummCo brings the fun-co!
The fun has just begun-co!
Be smart, not dumb-dumb-dumb-co!
And fill your day with YummCo!
A speaker system on the roof of the Super YummCo Superstore building blared the YummCo jingle over and over and over again. We all covered our ears, but we could still hear it.
“I wish I had earplugs,” Carl Weems said.
“Are you gonna go in there and buy some?” asked Owen Brown.
“Probably . . . not,” said Carl.
The people of Lambert had turned into zombies. Their eyes were glassy and many of them were drooling. They were all pushing and shoving and scrambling over one another to get through the front doors of the store. Eventually, a few people tore the doors off altogether.
“Whoa,” I said.
“Zombies don’t usually have superstrength,” said Danny. He was a horror movie buff, so he was an expert.
“Maybe they just want what’s inside that much,” said Nina.
Several people fell in the stampede, but the others just stepped over them, or even on them. I couldn’t bear to watch, even though I knew I had to, as one of the few witnesses. My mother and father were somewhere in that horde, along with everyone else’s parents. When I returned to our house earlier that day after the Harvest Festival, my dad was gorging himself on ice cream and my mom was gorging her credit card on the YummCo website. It was like a nightmare; even now, thinking about it made me feel nauseous. Really nauseous, like I wanted to pass out or throw up, or both.
“Why are they zombies and we’re not?” Owen asked.
“It can’t be because we’re kids,” Nina said. “I see just about everyone from school in there.”
She was right. Todd Kaplan and Chelsea DiSanto and Logan Sands had already come out of the store and were crouched over bags of candy and a case of YummPop in the parking lot. Their faces and hands were sticky as they tried to push each other out of the way of the sweets. Their parents were right behind them with grocery bags. Some were bulging with junk food, others with clothes and makeup, toys, books, and electronics.
“Dad?” Carl said as Mr. Weems emerged from the store on a ride-on lawnmower loaded up with mulch and leaf bags. Mrs. Weems was right behind him, pushing a shopping cart spilling over with crafting supplies.
I yawned.
“Are you . . . bored?” asked Owen. I shook my head.
“She seems tired,” said Danny, looking at me. “And pale.”
“It’s been a long day,” I reminded him. “I thought Bert and I were just going to the Lambert Harvest Festival to compete in the Best Pet Contest, and hopefully win. I didn’t expect him to be kidnapped by the Yumm family and then find out we’re in the middle of a zombie outbreak.”
I didn’t want to tell him that my body felt prickly all over, like when your arm falls asleep. What was happening to me?
“Should we call the police? They’ll know what to do,” Owen suggested.
“My phone’s not working,” Danny said, tapping at its screen. Earlier we’d discovered that video he’d recorded of the Yumms kidnapping Bert had been wiped from his YummPhone.
“YummCo’s probably controlling that, too,” Owen said.
“Besides, the police are already here. Like that matters,” said Carl, motioning to several officers with glassy eyes. They’d tipped over a YummCo Wiener food truck and were jamming hot dogs into their mouths.
“So, what should we do?” Nina asked.
I turned to her to answer, but her face seemed fuzzy, like I was looking through a camera out of focus. I squinted.
“Head back to my house,” I managed.
And then everything went black.
Well,” the Big Boss said, feet up on the carved mahogany desk. “I’m sure you two have found today . . . interesting.”
“Understatement of the year,” muttered Greg.
“I just wish we knew about the plan before it was executed,” Kari said. “I’m feeling pretty out of the loop here.”
“You know about it now,” said the Big Boss. “You’ll know what you need to know when you need to know it.”
“I’ve been watching on the live feed,” Kari noted, glancing down at her YummPad.
“They’ll buy anything and everything in the store, and then they’ll go home and keep buying online until their credit cards hit their limit. And then we’ll give them our new YummCredit cards,” the Big Boss said. “We’ll give them more and more and more.”
“What about the superstore workers?” Greg asked. “And the workers in the factory? How is it that they’re still doing their jobs amid all of this?”
The Big Boss chuckled. “It’s a little trick called mesmerism.”
“Mesmer . . . what?” Greg said.
“It means hypnotism,” said Kari. She looked at the Big Boss. “You’ve hypnotized everyone?”
The Big Boss smiled. “Every person who’s eaten food containing Yummconium.”
“Of course. The Yummconium weakens their inhibitions. Anyone who ingests it will be highly vulnerable to suggestion,” Kari said. Her eyes widened. She wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or horrified, maybe a little bit of both.
“They’ll do anything for us, as long as we keep playing the YummCo jingle over the sound system,” the Big Boss continued. “And as long as we keep feeding them Yummconium. The entire town is now under my control. The humans, anyway. It’s a shame, really, that animals aren’t so similarly suggestible . . .”
“So that’s the big plan? Turn everyone in Lambert into zombies so we can profit off of their hunger?” Greg asked.
Kari gave him a nudge.
“What?” Greg asked. “I’m just trying to understand. So I can, you know, be helpful.”
“I’m glad you’re ready to help, Gregory. If not, we can certainly consider some . . . alternatives,” the Big Boss said, opening a desk drawer and revealing two energy bars.
Greg gulped.
YUMMCO POWERYUMM BARS the wrappers said. NOW WITH YUMMCONIUM!
As Kari and Greg returned to the lab, they were both shaken. Greg was the only one not trying to hide it.
“I didn’t sign on for this, Kari,” he said. “Tainted food? Mesmerism? Turning people into zombies against their will?”
“Our employees signed away most of their rights when they took the job; they knew the risks,” Kari said.
“Did they, though?” said Greg.
Kari rolled her eyes. “And it’s not like the townspeople are doing anything they wouldn’t already be doing,” she continued. “We’re just tapping into their truest impulses.”
“Well, not everyone wants their impulses . . . tapped,” Greg noted.
“It’s the same thing we do with commercials. And with mining people’s data, and all our shopping algorithms. We’re already able to tell what you want before you want it. We’re already able to affect the choices consumers make every day.”
“It’s not the same thing, and you know it,” Greg said.
Deep down, she knew it wasn’t the same thing. But if she allowed herself to think that way for too long, everything she’s believed and worked toward during her time at YummCo would be one big horrible lie. Kari couldn’t let her mind go there. She wouldn’t.
“If you don’t like it, Greg, you can always consider the ‘alternatives’ the Big Boss offered you. Or you can try to leave like Walter, who had the job before you did,” she said. “He stole files from the lab and ended up having a heart attack from the stress.”
“I’ll stay,” Greg said. “But not because I’m afraid. Because someone has to be the voice of reason here.”
Kari scoffed. “Reason” and “Greg” didn’t belong in the same sentence.
After the Rough Hands returned to the lab, he listened in on their conversation. Finally, he understood their names: Kari and Greg.
And he saw something in their eyes he hadn’t seen before. Fear.
“Can you understand them as I do?” he whispered.
“All too well,” said Brother.
“These two Rough Hands are afraid,” he said. “Too afraid to stop what’s happening.”
Brother shifted in his cage. “I was afraid once. And so were you, and Sister, and all the others here. The Rough Hands showed us no mercy.”
“They’re not all like that,” he said. “I’ve known others outside who are kind. Who have cared for me. Who gave me my name: Bert.”
“‘Bert’?” Brother scoffed, shifting in his cage again. “You’re a fool to trust them. The Rough Hands bring nothing but pain. They’ll get what they deserve.”
“Not if I can help it,” Bert said.
“I’m hungry!” Brother growled. “Now! Now! Now!”
“Okay, okay, big fella,” said the one called Greg. He turned to the other cages. “Hmm . . . what’s on the menu for tonight?”
“Just make sure it’s alive, and bigger than those lab mice you gave us earlier,” Brother growled. “One way or another, this hunger . . . must be . . . satisfied!”
Bert and I are running through the woods together. I have no trouble keeping up with him as we slip through branches and jump over logs. The wind is in my hair, and the sun is on my face. I can smell the wet autumn leaves, feel the muddy earth beneath my feet, but only barely. I’m running so fast, they hardly touch the ground.
When we get to the river, we stop to rest, but not for long. I open my eyes and Bert has a headless rat in his jaws. He places it at my feet. I’ve never wanted to eat a rat before, but I’m just so hungry, I can’t help myself. I pick it up by the tail, raise it high over my open mouth, and—
“Aaaaah!” I screamed, sitting straight up.
“Hey, everyone, she’s awake!” Danny announced. He was sitting on my bed, looking at me with wide eyes. “Are you okay?”
The morning sun was streaming through my bedroom window. I shielded my eyes.
“What happened?” I asked.
“You fainted while we were at the Super YummCo Superstore,” he explained.
“You had us really worried,” Nina said. She was standing in the doorway with Owen and Carl.
“You all . . . slept over?” I asked, sitting up.
Everyone nodded.
“It’s not like we have anyone at home waiting for us,” Owen reminded me.
“We all took shifts sitting with you to make sure you were okay,” Danny said.
I rubbed my eyes. For the longest time, Danny had been my only friend. It felt weird to know other people actually cared about me. Weird in a good way.
“You were talking in your sleep,” Owen informed me. “You were saying ‘Bert’ a lot.”
“We’re, you know, glad you’re not dead,” Carl said.
“Oh, thank goodness,” Mrs. Witt said, appearing behind them. She came in and sat on the bed next to me and felt my forehead. “It’s good you feel normal now. I’ve been trying to keep you warm since we carried you up here earlier. You were as cold as ice!”
“I must be coming down with whatever the twins had,” I said. “Emmett and Ezra are just getting over that cold.”
“So, you’re not turning into a zombie?” Carl asked.
“Um, no,” I said.
“She’s not drooling and blank-eyed,” Owen noted.
I threw off all the sheets and blankets and slowly stood up.
“Though she does look . . . really pale,” Danny said to the others.
“I’m fine.”
But I wasn’t fine. I felt weak, like I could pass out at any moment. My brain felt fuzzy. And I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, like it was painfully empty. I managed to push past everyone and stumble down the hallway.
“Is she going to barf?” Carl asked. “Because that would be kind of awesome.”
“Shut up,” said Nina.
I used what remaining strength I had to make my way downstairs into the kitchen, where I opened the refrigerator. And there it was. My dad’s leftover lasagna. I grabbed a fork, took the pan out of the refrigerator, and tore off the aluminum foil. When the smell of the tangy tomatoes and the thick cheese and the garlic and the basil filled my nostrils, I groaned.
“Did you . . . want some of that heated up?” someone asked behind me. But I didn’t want to waste a moment to respond. I was too busy cramming forkfuls of lasagna into my mouth.
I can’t really explain the flavor; it was as if I could smell and taste every single molecule of every bite, and every time I swallowed, I felt happier than I’ve ever felt in my life. It was so good, I couldn’t stop eating, forkful after forkful, until the entire lasagna was gone. I even licked the pan.
