Amber's Song, page 3
“Well, I don’t have any brothers or sisters,” Maxine said, cutting through our chatter. “Just servants.”
We all stopped talking.
Maxine, seeing that she had all of our attention, went on, “Yes. I live in a mansion.”
Uh-oh, I thought. I felt my stomach clench.
“It’s on top of a hill,” Maxine said, not really looking at any of us in the eye. Instead, she looked off into the distance, like she was seeing a vision or mirage of her house. Her voice got kind of dreamy. “And we have rolling green land surrounding us—more than you see here. And there are servants for everything. A butler who answers the door. A cook. A housekeeper. I even have my own maid. She cleans my room and makes my bed . . . and runs my bubble bath . . . and brushes my hair . . .”
Ashton sighed loudly.
“You don’t believe me,” Maxine snapped out of her trance. I imagined her mirage disappearing with a poof!
Kaydence smirked. “Oh, it’s not that she doesn’t believe you. She was just wondering when you would get to the part where your maid walks your pet dragon.”
We all burst out laughing at that. We couldn’t help it.
Maxine’s face scrunched up and she glared down at the table.
Just then, the director of the camp began speaking from the stage where she had gathered a bunch of camp counselors.
“Hello, everyone, your attention please. I’m Olive Cameron, the director of this camp, and I’m here to welcome you to another fun and amazing summer at Camp Caracara!”
The counselors all began jumping up and down and cheering, which inspired all of us kids to do it too.
“It is my hope that you’ll all have a wonderful time during your stay here as we learn to appreciate and celebrate God’s creation. That’s why the theme this year is “All Creation Gives Praise!” We’re going to go out and enjoy God’s creation by playing in the sun and grass and admiring His handiwork. And we’ll have fun creating stuff ourselves—especially using music. Because God wants us all to enjoy the fun of creating things too. So we’ll have opportunities for you to make up songs, dances, skits, and works of art. And we’ll be praising God through all of it. How does that sound?”
There were more cheers and clapping.
“Great! Because that’s how it sounds to me too. Now, your counselors will be passing out your schedules, so you’ll see just how you’re going to spend the next week.” With a nod she signaled counselors who were holding small stacks of green-colored paper to begin passing them out at each table. “And once you get those, you can look them over as we have lunch. I’m sure those delicious smells coming out of our kitchen have been driving you all a little crazy. But first, let’s thank the Heavenly Father for bringing us all safely to another amazing summer at Camp Caracara!” Then, bowing down her head, she led us all in the camp prayer that was kind of like a school chant:
“We thank you Lord for this day
to laugh and learn and rest and pray.
We thank you Lord for this week
to offer praise and wisdom seek.
We thank you Lord for this time
to swim and ride and hike and climb.
We thank you Lord for this year
to sing and dance and act and cheer!”
And it ended with the room letting out a big cheer of “AMEN!!!!” and “WOOOOOO!”
As Sunny handed us our schedules, she said, “This was printed on one hundred percent recycled paper.”
“Neat!” Heaven said, taking some and passing the sheets around the table.
I quickly scanned the list. The thing I wanted most to check was when I would get to ride a horse again. “Tomorrow!” I said out loud and I let out a squeal.
“What’s tomorrow?” Maxine asked, craning her neck to look at my schedule.
“We’re riding horses,” I said, pointing. I knew since we were in the same cabin that her schedule was going to be the same as mine.
Gio, who was sitting on my other side, grabbed my arm and squealed too. “I can’t wait! I hope we get Jackson and Misty again!”
Maxine squinted. “Jackson and Misty?”
“She means the horses we rode last year,” I said, trying to sound casual. “You know, since we know them already.”
“Oh. I have lots of horses at home,” Maxine said in a dull voice, and she looked over her schedule with a bored expression on her face.
“How many?” Kaydence asked. “Ten? Twenty? One hundred?”
Heaven and Harmony snickered behind their sheets of paper.
But Maxine didn’t flinch at Kaydence’s words this time. “No! Don’t be silly. We only have five. But one’s a prize-winning racehorse. A thoroughbred.”
“What’s his name?” Gio asked.
“Rosetta Blues,” Maxine said immediately.
I was surprised. The name sounded familiar. Like maybe it was a real racehorse. I looked at Gio to see her reaction.
She crossed her arms. Then she blurted, “You are so lying.”
“I am not!” Maxine huffed.
“Too bad we aren’t allowed cell phones. Otherwise we could look it up and prove it,” Kaydence said.
“Yeah, prove that I’m telling the truth,” Maxine insisted.
The girls glared at one another across the table.
Sunny, who had been talking to another counselor and missed what had just been said at the table, gestured for us to get up. “Time to get your lunch!” she said. “It looks good too!”
We jumped out of our chairs and headed for the buffet line. I was glad to get away from the uncomfortable situation at the table. Once in line, I got a tray and reached for some juicy strawberries to put on my plate when a voice in my ear made me jump. It was Maxine, who I hadn’t noticed come up behind me, “And that’s the name of one of my other horses!” she said.
I dropped the serving spoon I had grabbed to scoop up the strawberries. “What?”
“Strawberry. I have a horse named Strawberry.”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s nice.”
“Yes, and the others are Cinnamon, Sugar, Buttermilk . . .”
Was she talking about horses or pancakes? I wondered as I moved down the line and she followed.
“And my favorite, Priscilla. She’s an Arabian.”
“Uh-huh,” I said. I put some cantaloupe on my plate. “Want some?”
Maxine shook her head. “And nobody rides Priscilla but me, she’s all mine,” she went on.
“Oh, okay,” I said, to show her I was listening, but not because I thought what she was telling me was okay. In fact, I didn’t think it was okay at all. What I really thought was Ugh, just great. It looks like I’m going to have to spend the next week living with and listening to a non-stop liar!
Chapter 4
After lunch we all got to go back to our cabins. Sunny told us to finish unpacking and then to join her at the picnic table on the patio.
“Okay, guys,” Sunny said as we all gathered at the table. It was nice to sit out on the deck and be surrounded by grass and trees in all directions. “This will be a sort of ‘getting to know you’ exercise. You’re all going to write ‘I Am’ poems.”
“What’s an ‘I Am’ poem?” I asked.
“It’s a poem about yourself inspired by the fact that you are made in God’s image. For instance. Do you know God’s name?”
“You mean it isn’t ‘God’?” Tangie asked.
“No, that’s really more like his title,” Sunny said.
“Jesus!” Heaven said.
“Yes, that is the name above all other names. But that’s the name of God the Son. I’m talking about the name of God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Um, here’s a hint: he told his name to Moses.”
The picture of Moses bowing before the burning bush sprang to my mind. I scrunched up my face. “You mean, ‘I Am,’ right? He told Moses that his name was ‘I Am!’”
“Kind of weird for a name,” Maxine said, wrinkling her nose.
“It’s not the sort of name you’re used to hearing.” Sunny nodded. “It’s more like what his name means. All of our names have meanings. Like mine, Sonia, means ‘wise.’ Do any of you know the meaning of your names?”
“Mine just means ‘heaven,’” Heaven said, laughing.
“And mine means ‘harmony,’” Harmony joined in and laughed too.
“And mine means amber,” I said, “like the gem. Hey! God’s name is sort of in my name. I. Am . . . ber!”
“How cute! And how blessed you are!” Sunny said. “But getting back to—”
“Wait! What does my name mean?” Maxine asked.
“Well, think about it, Maxine. With ‘max’ in it and everything. You know what it means to ‘maximize’ something, right?”
“That’s when you make something really big, right?”
“Yes. The biggest. Or the greatest.”
Maxine smiled to herself. “I’m the greatest,” she said to herself.
Kaydence rolled her eyes.
“Well, the true greatest one of all is God,” Sunny said.
“Then that means I’m kind of named after him too,” Maxine said smugly. “Like Amber!”
“You could say that,” Sunny agreed. “But to go back to Scripture, God’s name is ‘I Am’ because he is ever-present and everlasting. His name doesn’t mean ‘I once was’ or ‘I will be.’ He has always been here since the beginning of time and always will be through eternity. He is always.”
“Isn’t he also ‘love,’ though?” Ashton asked.
“Yes,” Sunny nodded. “God is love. But don’t forget, love is also eternal. God made us with love because he loves with an everlasting love. He wants us to love him and to love one another. That’s the whole point of life! So, on that note . . .” she handed out some sheets of paper and some pencils. “Here is the format for your ‘I Am’ poems. And don’t worry, they don’t need to rhyme.”
I looked over the sheet and read:
I AM
I am (Name one or two things that describe you.)
I hear (Could be what you actually hear or something from your imagination.)
I wonder (What do you wonder?)
I hope (What do you hope?)
I dream (Do you have any wishes? Ambitions? Real or impossible!)
I am (You can repeat the first line or think of something new.)
I see (Something you see with your eyes OR with your mind!)
I touch (What can you touch with your fingers or your spirit?)
I feel (What emotions are you feeling right now?)
I want (Is there something you want more than anything else? Anything you want right now?)
I am (Again, you can repeat the first or second line or make up a new thing.)
I try (Are you making any special effort to learn anything?)
I worry (Is there anything you are concerned about?)
I pray (What or whom do you pray for?)
I know (What is something you know for sure?)
I am (You can repeat the first line or choose something else.)
As I read it over, I knew exactly what I would write on the first line. It was from my favorite Scripture, Psalm 139:14. I had a framed copy of the verse written in my mother’s handwriting, hanging on my bedroom wall back home. I bent over my sheet of paper and after the words “I am” I wrote:
fearfully and wonderfully made
“Um, don’t worry about what your neighbor is writing,” Sunny said.
I looked up to see who she was talking to. That’s when I noticed Maxine quickly turn her head away from me. Had she been trying to copy me?
I scooted on the bench to put more space between us.
It took a while, but after twirling my pencil like a baton, tapping my forehead with its eraser, swinging my legs back and forth, and scribbling and erasing a lot, I came up with this poem:
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I hear music and have to sing
I wonder where it will take me
I hope to be on Broadway one day
I dream of being on the stage
I am God’s girl
I see the many gifts God has given me
I touch them one by one and give thanks
I feel grateful for all of them
I want God to know this
I am made from love
I try to be gentle and kind
I worry that I am not always
I pray for help to do better
I know God is always with me
I am made in the image of I am.
We were all quietly writing for a while when Kaydence asked, “Are we supposed to read these out loud?”
Some of the girls looked up from their writing with expressions of horror or panic on their faces.
“Only those of you who want to share,” Sunny said. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
I raised my head and smiled at my counselor. I wanted to read my poem because I liked it so much, but I also felt too shy to raise my hand to tell her so.
She caught my eye. “Are you done, Amber? Would you like to read yours?”
I nodded and then looked down at my sheet of paper. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” I began. Then I giggled nervously. “That’s from the Bible,” I admitted. “One of my favorite verses.”
Sunny nodded encouragingly.
I went on. When I got to “I am God’s girl,” I explained, “That’s what Mom used to tell me and my sisters. That we’re ‘God’s girls.’” And when I got to the part about being made from love, I pointed to the cabin door. “Because we said God is love. And you know, there was that poster inside that said ‘Love is patient, love is kind . . .’” Finally, I got to the end. “And since God made us all in his image and his name is ‘I Am’ that means I am made in the image of I Am. That is, we all are . . .” I trailed off and stopped speaking as everyone around the table broke out in applause.
“Nice job, Amber! I mean it! That poem turned out great!”
I shared a secret smile with Ashton. “My sisters and I all like to write.”
“But you also read it out loud really well. Not everyone can do that. But if you want to be on Broadway that is a good skill to have. Maybe you’ll want to read your poem out loud at Cabin Fever Cabaret Night on the last night of camp?”
“What’s a ‘cah-bah-ray’?”
“You remember from last year, don’t you? At dinnertime on our last night, we have songs, skits, recitations, dance . . . all kinds of arts and entertainment.”
“You mean sort of like a talent show?”
“Sort of. That’s a good comparison, actually. It’s not a competition, of course, and all the songs, poems, and skits will be about loving God, but yes. That’s why I think your poem would be perfect for it. Maybe you could do something with it. Like a spoken word performance.”
I didn’t know what to say. I just giggled at the thought.
“You seem a little shy about it,” Sunny said. Sunlight shone directly onto her face then, so she squinted as she smiled. “Well, think about it and let me know. Maybe some of you other girls would like to take part in a spoken word performance. Is anyone else interested?”
Kaydence and Gio said that they were. Heaven and Harmony said they might. Tangie said she hadn’t even finished her poem yet, and Ashton said she wasn’t really interested. When she was asked, Maxine shook her head ‘no’ and slipped her poem off the table and onto her lap, which surprised me a little. I guess I just didn’t expect a girl who made up stories about having horses and servants and living in a mansion to be shy about performing on a stage.
As Harmony started reading her poem aloud, my mind wandered back to the idea of performing at the cabaret. I really did think it would be fun. But the whole idea seemed extra scary because I would be reading—or reciting—my own words out loud, instead of someone else’s. I mean, Ashton and I liked to write little skits and film mini movies on our cell phones. (In fact, it’s really what we used our cell phones for: making movies—or taking photos.) And so of course, we wrote our own lines for them and performed them. But this would be different. It would be in front of an actual audience.
Remembering the stage I’d seen in the dining hall, I tried to picture myself standing on it, holding my poem in my hand. I saw my hands shaking, rustling the sheet of paper loudly into the microphone. Then I imagined the speakers letting out one of those loud, high-pitched feedback sounds—the kind that hurts your eardrums—and I saw everyone covering their ears and making faces. Finally, I saw myself opening my mouth to read the first line of my poem only to have my voice come out in a squeak—like it did earlier when I saw Maxine trying on my jacket without my permission. Sometimes when I’m nervous or upset it’s what happens to me. My throat feels squeezed and it’s like suddenly someone somehow lowered the volume on my voice. I sighed to myself. Oh, I would probably enjoy Cabin Fever Cabaret Night—only from my chair, sitting with the rest of the audience.
That evening, as we got ready for bed, I dragged my trunk out from under the bed to put my poem inside. Maxine, who was lying on top of the bed watched me closely as I folded the sheet of paper and slipped it into an inside pocket. Then I noticed a part of my jacket was sticking out under the pile of clothes that was on top of it. I’d better give it to Ashton to look after, I thought, remembering her offer.
“Ashton!” I called out. When she took the jacket, Ashton held it in a bundle in her arms. It made Maxine laugh. “It really does look like a kitty!” she said. “Hey! Where is she taking it?”
“To my room,” Ashton answered firmly, “I’m going to lock it in my trunk.” And as she returned to her room, I heard Tangie’s voice coo in surprise. “Oooh! What’s that?”
Maxine stared off into Ashton’s room with longing. “Why did you let her take it with her?”
I said nothing. I was just glad that my jacket was now really hidden from her sight. And I was about to close my trunk when I found my night-light. Oh, I almost forgot! I thought.
“Is it okay with everyone if I plug in this night-light here?” I asked loudly. The socket was in the wall in the bathroom. I figured that way it wouldn’t really be in anyone’s way, and it would still bring a little light into our room.
