A Curse of Flame and Ash, page 25
“Wait, are they on fire?” I gaped at Aramis.
“Yes. They’re phoenixes. Native to the Fire Court.” He swam over, noticing I struggled to keep my chin above the water as my dress weighed me down. Aramis placed his hands on my hips and propped his knee, resting it between my thighs.
“Will magic return to the mortal courts with the return of the Fae?” I asked, desperate to distract myself from where his leg touched me. He meant to keep me afloat, but it stoked something more.
“We hope so, but only time will tell,” he added, pulling our bodies closer.
“I hope it does,” I whispered, falling in love with the world of magic. “What is this place?”
Aramis pressed his face into the crook of my neck. “This is my secret place.”
“Nobody else knows about it?” The muscles along my neck fluttered as Aramis’ breath coated my flesh.
“No.” He attempted to remove the space between our lips again.
“Not even Conláed and Molvys?” I refused to allow him to kiss me, teasing him.
“Not even them.” He impatiently leaned closer, but I turned away to survey the space again. Spectacular. Magical. Sighing, he rested his forehead on my temple. “You’re cold.”
I hadn’t noticed my chattering teeth and the goosebumps speckling my shoulders until he assisted me to the rock platform, helping me ascend the natural steps forming along one side. Gathering a handful of weathered logs, Aramis stacked them skillfully and set them ablaze with his magic.
We sat in hushed tranquility as the flames danced away, their warmth and crackling tongues chasing away the chill of the water. Aramis nuzzled his face into the curve of my neck, and my palm rose, fingertips grazing his cheek, savouring the exquisite moment.
“Together, we’ll be the best versions of ourselves. Unstoppable.” His whisper stoked a passion within me. “I’ll always be here for you, Elowyn. To catch you when you fall, fight next to you, and bring you back from the darkness. I don’t deserve you and your patience. But if you’ll let me, I’ll keep you forever.”
A month ago, I’d yearned for freedom so feverishly. Desperate to run away from a man who wished to keep me, locked me away in a tower, promising brief hints of freedom if I behaved. Now I lay in the arms of a powerful Fae high king, willing to submit to him. Because I knew keeping me didn’t mean locking me away.
The crackling fire, the gentle scent of cedar burning, and the thought itself lulled me into a state so relaxing my eyes fell. For the first time in a long while, I drifted to sleep easily.
Chapter 41
Surrounded by bright yellow and white mum flowers, I watched the blooms sway back and forth in the gentle summer breeze. It kissed the top of my exposed shoulders, highlighted by the rare sun.
My sisters giggled and ran around the field. My last moment of peace with my family—before something awful had happened. The memories pieced together slowly as I watched my sisters play.
And then I saw him.
The cloaked demon haunting my dreams, the dark entity that dwelled within my mind. . Was this the moment he possessed me?
Leaving my sisters to play, I walked to Ravenwood Forest to confront the man who ruined my life. He waited patiently for me, standing perfectly still beneath his black cloak, hands folded in front of him.
“I don’t want your dark magic, demon. You tried to use my weaknesses to trick me into falling for whatever plan you have. But I finally understand. I finally get it. The drinking, the gambling, the risk-taking, I abused it all to avoid finding what I truly wanted. Love. Not freedom. I wanted love. Real, unconditional, treasured love. And I’ve found it. Your magic may have given me the greatest high of my life, demon, but I don’t want it.”
He remained stoic as I made my speech, and when I finished, he nodded in silent acknowledgement, signifying his belief in every word I shared.
“Good. You deserve love, Elowyn. You deserve to live a life you’re not fearful of. A life you aren’t constantly trying to run away from. To live safely and happily will allow you to develop your power and full potential.”
I scrutinised the demon carefully. Even though his face remained obscured, I sensed his genuineness, piquing my curiosity.
“I didn’t give you my magic, Elowyn. And I’m no demon,” he continued. He’d insisted many times before that he wasn’t a demon.
“Then what are you? What was that power?” A lump caught in my throat, warning me that I may not like his response. I swallowed it down anyway.
“I’m Fae, Elowyn. And so are you.”
My body froze. Paralysed by his words. Fae? Me? My jaw slacked open to deny it until he continued.
“You sensed your magic the other night. You just didn’t know how to tap into it. I’ve been visiting you in your dreams, trying to explain this, to teach you how to use your magic, but you kept pushing me out. Your pervasive fear of… everything… led you to instantly assume the worst of me, and you repeatedly expelled me night after night, leaving no room for me to explain. I didn’t wish to influence your magic prematurely, but I became desperate, believing it was the sole means to get through to you.”
I bent over at the hips as a laugh expelled from deep in my belly, resting my hands on my knees. The entire notion seemed utterly absurd. Me, a Fae? No. This demon continued to manipulate me, and my patience wore thin.
“Demon, you are no Fae and neither am I. I will find a way to banish you and your darkness. Now leave. Me. Alone!”
Lifting my hands, I shoved them forward and watched the demon slam back into a tree trunk, his bones cracking with the force I used. I didn’t know how, but I absorbed the energy I had sensed previously. And it felt comfortable. It felt… right.
The demon stood, and I knew he smirked at me beneath his hood. “You’ll be back,” he insisted as I severed our connection.
* * *
Waking, I watched Aramis struggle to stand on the opposite end of the grotto platform. The fire, once fierce and dazzling, abruptly extinguished, leaving behind nothing but a swirling plume of acerbic smoke and a delicate dusting of ash, reminiscent of the remains of the dream I’d fled.
Aramis rested a palm on his knee, pulling himself up. I had never seen him struggle physically before, even in battle he stayed fiercely strong. And his eyes…
They locked onto mine, sending an electric jolt of fear coursing through me. They held a whirlwind of emotions, a turbulent sea of fear, shock, and yet a glimmer of astonishment, like a wild storm simultaneously terrifying and enthralling.
The wall behind him cracked, displaying a prominent fissure at its core. From there, a network of cracks spider webbed outward, interspersed with silver specks.
“What happened?” I asked, unable to move. “How did you get over there?”
“I went to add more wood to the fire and… and…” he faltered, his stare fixed on me, a bewildered and emotionally tangled expression on his face.
“And what?”
“Fuck.” He ran a hand through golden locks. “I knew you’d be powerful but this. Fuck, I didn’t expect this.”
Aramis finally stood, bracing himself against the cracked wall. I tilted my head and replayed what he just said.
I knew you’d be powerful, but this…
“What do you mean?” My question remained firm, even as the gears in my mind whirled incessantly. He ignored me, beginning to pace back and forth like a trapped lion. “Aramis, you said you knew I’d be powerful. What do you mean?”
He avoided eye contact. Pausing and shaking his head, he pinched the bridge of his nose, as if formulating an excuse—a lie.
“Aramis?” I edged, yet he still refused to face me. Anxiety clawed at me. No, not anxiety, but an encroaching darkness. The telltale signs, the initial symptoms, manifested—high-pitched ringing, a haze clouding my vision. But was it the darkness itself, or perhaps… the demon?
“Aramis!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, done with his stalling. Not allowing him the time to create another lie. My throat burned from aggressively pushing air through my voice box.
“I’m sorry.” He finally dared to confront me, and the darkness took a step back, offering him a chance. “I didn’t know when to tell you. Didn’t know if I should tell you. You’ve been through so much.” He spoke gently.
“Tell me what?” I slowly stalked toward him, recalling his conversation with Molvys in the courtyard. One small step at a time. Like if I got too close to his explanation, it would burn me worse than any flame he conjured.
“Elowyn.” He completed the distance between us and took my hands, his thumb stroking the flaming swirls tattooed on my wrist. Emerald golden-flaked irises met forgotten ashen ones, boring straight into the depths of my soul as if begging to decipher his honesty and guilt. A kind smile graced his face, but the dimples I admired didn’t form. Aramis revealed, “You’re Fae.”
I ripped my hands from his and backed away. “No,” I whispered, but my tone grew wild. “What game are you playing?”
First the demon and now Aramis too?
No.
Impossible.
“Sweetheart—”
“Look at me! Aramis, look. At. Me! I’m not Fae. My parents are human. Mortal.”
“Think about it, Elowyn. Really think about it. It’s so clear once you see it,” my betrothed—what a stupid notion—insisted. I couldn’t help but comply. The darkness within urged me to consider it.
And memories. So many memories flashed through my mind, reliving it all.
All the times Mother boxed my ears because I heard too well.
My wounds and bruises healing fast, and I rarely became ill.
My appearance. Your beauty is more exquisite, elegant, ethereal compared to what these mortals are used to, Aramis had said upon our first meeting.
The outbursts. The darkness.
And Oulixeus. You have no idea just how unique you are.
My stomach knotted. Ready to hurl. “No.” I shook my head, trying to expel the memories. “I don’t even look Fae.”
“You do. You have high cheekbones like us.” He placed his palm on my cheek, running his thumb along the bone carved more angular than my sisters.
“Your jaw is sharp.” His hand slid to my jaw and fingers glided along it.
“Your eyes have a dimension no mortals can possess. They’re not just grey. There are pieces of silver floating within your irises, and your pupils are a magnificent abyss. And then there are your ears.” He tucked a curl behind one.
“What?” I snapped a hand to one of them.
“They’re slightly pointed, Elowyn.” He smiled. My fingers explored the tips of my ears and, sure enough, a subtle point where a bone jutted out. Instantly, I recalled Mother adjusting my hair at the welcome feast, hiding my ears. I perceived it as a maternal gesture, but she’d only meant to hide a Fae trait.
“Speculation. You’re speculating.” I started my own round of pacing. The proclamation felt preposterous. Lies. But to what end?
Expecting to be bombarded with high-pitched ringing and fog and a racing pulse, I paused. None of the symptoms showed. Anxiety didn’t taunt me. I paused. “How?”
“Sévérine, your mother, must’ve conceived you with a Fae. She’s your mother. I saw her once. A young maiden of sixteen, belly swelled with you, her first pregnancy. She accompanied Evander and his father, Alastair, to a meeting between realms. My father urged Alastair to strike a treaty, but your grandfather refused. Such a stubborn, righteous bastard. I hated that man.” Noticing my impatience, Aramis pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know how, Elowyn. That’s the extent of my knowledge regarding your conception and birth,” he admitted.
Question after question flooded my mind, unable to keep up. Magic. Not outbursts or a haunting darkness, but magic had surged through my veins this whole time.
My magic.
What did I do with my magic to cause my outcast? Caused my entire family, except Oulixeus, to despise me? Fear me? Father must’ve known what I was. Why did he let me live? He hated the Fae.
Regarding fathers, who truly was mine? What type of Fae magic did he possess? Who else knew? How did—
“Aramis.” My racing mind halted on one question. A query I needed answered now.
“Yes, sweetheart?” His brows rose.
“How do you know I’m Fae?” I held his gaze the way he held mine earlier. He claimed he didn’t know when or if he should tell me. How did he learn this in the first place?
“Rumours and when I saw you—” The vein along his neck shuddered, indicating a slight shift in his heartbeat.
“Lie.”
“What?”
“Your tell, Aramis. The one you teased me to reveal. It took me a few days to notice it, and over the past month, I’ve confirmed it.” I shook my head, angry with myself for not heeding the warning my gut screamed for so long.
“So?”
“Your heart can’t lie to me. The beat slightly shifts whenever you try to lie. I can hear it and I can see the vein in your neck ever so slightly twitch,” I finally revealed. “Don’t lie to me. I deserve the truth.”
“You really are more clever than they give you credit for.” He sighed before continuing. “Spies. Your uncle, well, step-uncle, Oulixeus, has had spies in our court for years. We infiltrated one of them, and she’d reveal to Oulixeus whatever I told her to. She’d remain in Rhyddean for a while, snoop around, eavesdrop, gather intel, and watch and listen. Roughly four, five years ago, she formed quite the alliance with a chatty tavern owner,” Aramis confessed.
My heart felt as if someone squished it. Squeezing every last ounce of blood from the muscle.
“He bragged about the strangely beautiful girl who’d come to his establishment and drink his wine cellar dry. Who dressed like a peasant but had skin too supple to have worked a day in her life.”
I pressed my back against the stonewall of the cave, leaning into it and allowing it to give me strength to stand as it felt like Aramis reached into my chest and clutched my heart.
“After watching for a while, she realised what you were. We agreed.” And now my heart fully ripped from my chest.
“It’s why you chose me,” I whispered.
“What?” Aramis took a step closer. He paused as I recoiled. From the moment he announced his intention to take me as his wife in the great hall, I’d known it.
“You didn’t choose me because of the Fated bond. You chose me because of my power,” I confronted, and pushed down the hurt, my warmth freezing into abhorrence.
“No. I mean… Elowyn, no.” He stumbled.
“Don’t lie to me,” I warned.
“At first, yes. Okay. Is that what you want to hear? That before we came to Rhyddean, I schemed to bring home the half-Fae princess by any means possible. Whether accomplished through an arranged marriage, or kidnapping, or force. We couldn’t risk having a Fae as powerful as you, with such raw potential, in the hands of the mortals.” He gritted his teeth in frustration. He hated this. And I hated him.
“I’m such a fool. This isn’t a fucking bond. You tricked me. You used me. This is a brand. You branded me just like he did!” I accused him. A whirlwind of emotions swept through me, and I felt like the very ground beneath my feet was giving way. As if my trust had been a delicate tapestry, painstakingly woven, and he callously tore it apart. A relentless ache in my chest emerged, and the world around me blurred as I struggled to hold back tears, grappling with the raw, overwhelming hurt of it all.
“No! Elowyn, no.” He sank to his knees in front of the hearth. “No, the bond is true.”
“So it was just a fortunate coincidence that the half-Fae princess you needed to steal also happened to be Fated to you?” I laughed at the notion.
“Yes. The goddesses of fate wanted us to be together. They weaved our tapestry in a really fucked up way, Elowyn. But nonetheless, we are meant to be—fated,” Aramis pleaded. “Sweetheart—”
“Don’t. You’re every bit the monster they claimed,” I confirmed with a quivering voice mixed with my pain and that gnawing fear deep within me. Aramis took two steps toward me and I backed two steps away. His eyes widened and jaw fell at my reaction, at my fear resurfacing and taking hold. Did I ever truly know him at all?
“I fucked up. I’m so sorry.” He took two steps away from me. “If I could go back, if I could do all of this over again, I’d tell you everything the moment we met in the clearing by the waterfall. I’d confess everything, even if you presumed me mad. I love you, Elowyn. Please, you make me a better person. You’ve given me hope! Something I’ve never experienced before. Elowyn, I—”
I needed to get away from him. Far, far away from Aramis and the Fae and everything. I wanted to be alone. Needed to be alone. I couldn’t trust anyone.
Be careful who you trust.
A tear stung my eye as I thought of Cara and her warning. Was this what she’d meant? To my left, a large opening loomed, and without looking backward, I sprinted away.
Chapter 42
The dark forest spanned for miles. As I wandered deeper into the sombre wood, shadows wrapped themselves around me like cold fingers of a vengeful spirit. My heart, heavy with the revelation of my half-Fae heritage, thudded in my chest. Anger simmered beneath my skin, a tempestuous storm of resentment toward Aramis for keeping such a life-altering secret from me.
Half-Fae. The cloaked male in my dreams had unveiled the dark secret, and Aramis confirmed it. I believed it. It made sense once everything pieced together. But what bothered me was Aramis’ lies.
The frigid air cut through my nasal passages with an edge that caught me off guard. Typically, the nights in the Fire Court didn’t get cold. I rubbed my pink nose, debating what to make of Aramis.
He lied. He lied. Even though I noticed his tell here and there, each untruth pierced my heart with a searing pain. I couldn’t find solace in his misguided attempt to supposedly protect me from the daunting Fae world. It was nothing but cruel betrayal after everything we shared. The safety and acceptance he provided me had vanished in mere moments, leaving me exposed. My stomach twisted into a knot, the ghost of his touch haunting me, as I yearned to cast him and his feelings for me into the darkest abyss of the Veil.
