Rocked & Romanced, page 17
Shit, this is not how I wanted him to find out. What is he even doing home?
“Dallas.” I nudge him siting up, but he’s already waking.
No time like the present to bite the bullet and get it out in the open, right? Though, I had this worked out in my head much different than this clusterfuck. Several different ones in fact. If I know my brother, straight to the point will be best.
“Landon, Dallas and I are dating; we have been for a few weeks,” I tell him.
His eyes shoot to Dallas like this is his fault. Feeling the need to protect Dallas, I continue, “Now, head downstairs, let us wake up and get dressed, and we will come down to talk about this like adults.” I use my stern voice.
Pure anger like I’ve never seen is all over Landon’s face, but after a moment, he turns and slams the door. I can hear his pounding footsteps going downstairs before I flop back down on the bed. He’s been gone barely forty-eight hours, and we were supposed to have two weeks.
Dallas pulls me in close. “Hey, we’re in this together, okay? I choose you. It will hurt like hell to lose him, but I can’t live without you. I made that choice a while ago.”
My heart races. I look over at him and see the vulnerability in his eyes. He’s worried I don’t feel the same.
“Dallas, it’s the same for me. These last few weeks proved that even more.” I tell him and lean in to kiss him soft and sweet. This moment, even with my brother mad as hell downstairs, is everything I’ve ever wanted, to be someone’s first choice. Isn’t this what every girl wants?
“This is not how I planned for you to wake up this morning.” He smirks at me, and I laugh. After talking about all the fantasies of waking each other up last night, it definitely wasn’t on the list for how I expected to wake up.
“Let’s get dressed and go try to talk to him. Though, I doubt there will be any talking to him.” I sigh and cover my face with my hands and dig the heels of my hands in my eyes, trying to fight off the building headache.
“One more thing.” He says and waits for me to look over at him. “Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I want you to consider moving to my room. Or I can move in here, but I want our stuff together.”
“Dallas...” I start, but he holds up a hand.
“Just think about it, okay?”
I nod. If he’s sure this is what he wants, then I have no doubts about it. But I want to ease Landon into this, no matter how big of an asshole he’s about to be. I don’t want to overwhelm him all at once.
As we get dressed, Dallas can’t seem to keep his hands off me, despite his angry best friend downstairs. It’s like after all the talking yesterday he’s happier, lighter, and more like the boy I remember. If I thought for one moment, we had the time I’d let his hands wander and give us both the wake up we had planned.
We make our way downstairs hand-in-hand to find Landon, sitting at the kitchen island with coffee in front of him and his back to us.
“How long?” He asks before we are even in his line of vision.
“Officially, since the last day of the tour,” Dallas says.
“We had decided to tell you when you got back from this trip. All we wanted was a few more weeks in our bubble.”
“Who else knows?” Landon asks.
“Mason, and that’s it,” I tell him.
Landon looks right at Dallas, his voice even but angry. “You should have talked to me first!”
For some reason, this sets me off. We tried on the tour, but any time we looked at each other, as more than friends, he would go off on us. Did he really think we’d chance upsetting him before we even knew what this was?
“Why, so you can tell him yet again he isn’t good enough? Do you realize we have both been fighting this, since before his mom died? Do you understand how miserable you made us because we didn’t think we could have the other? Then, to tell Dallas he isn’t good enough, because of choices he made, because you kept us apart?” I yell.
I know it isn’t fair, but I’m so mad I want to hurt him. I want him to feel an ounce of what I’ve felt over him keeping us apart.
Dallas wraps his arm around me from behind. “Baby girl, don’t. Don’t say something you can’t take back. We talked about this, and it’s in the past. We are where we are meant to be. I have you now, you have me, and that’s all that matters.” Dallas’s voice is steady, soft, and calm.
I take a deep breath and look back at Landon, who is watching us his face still full of rage.
“Why would we chance upsetting you, when we didn’t even know what this was? I was the one who didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d act like this, and Dallas and I are in a good place. I didn’t want you to ruin it like I knew you would. He’s your best friend, the one you trust most in the world. If he isn’t good enough for me, then who is?” I ask surprised at how steady I was able to keep my voice.
“No one!” Landon shouts.
I stumble back against Dallas’s chest, almost like Landon slapped me. Dallas’s grip on my hips tightens, a silent warning to think before I speak.
He can’t mean that, can he? I always thought no matter what, Landon had my best interests at heart, even when he made things difficult. But this? I don’t want to believe he really thinks this.
“So, I’m supposed to die alone and miserable to make you happy? Fuck you, Landon.” I break from Dallas’s hold, grab my purse, and the first set of car keys I can, and run out to the garage, ignoring Landon and Dallas, yelling behind me.
Seeing I grabbed the keys for Dallas’s SUV, I hit the unlock button and leave before one of them can stop me. Tears are rolling down my face, and I have to pull over, once I’m out of the neighborhood to get myself in order, so I can drive.
I take a few deep breaths and realize these aren’t tears because I’m hurt, they are tears of anger. The one quality of myself I have always hated was when I get really mad, I cry. And I can’t remember the last time I was this mad at someone, much less my brother of all people. We’ve always been a team, him and me. There’s no way he believes that, but he still said it.
Once my emotions are under control, I start driving. I get on the highway not even paying attention to which way I’m going, but I end up downtown. I randomly take a few major exits and put Nashville in my rearview mirror. I crank up the music and try not to think. I want to let all the anger and emotion go and clear my head.
Of everything I expected to come out of Landon’s mouth, I never thought it would be that no one was good enough; that he could be that selfish.
Then again, I never thought I’d see the day he was so harsh to his best friend either, and that he’d put him down that way. It makes me wonder what else he has been feeding to Dallas over the years.
For a fleeting moment, I have a thought, is all this worth it? I can easily pack up and point my car west and be somewhere new in a day or two, and everything can go back to normal.
But it can’t, can it? After having this time with Dallas, my heart will never be the same, and we will never be the same. The thought of walking away from him rips my heart out, and I know I’m in this for the long haul no matter what happens with Landon.
There’s a sign for a scenic overlook ahead, so I take the exit and park. The view is amazing. I’m on top of a small mountain, overlooking a small town with more mountains in the background.
I sit on the low stone wall and let the wind hit my face. Here all my problems feel so small.
A car pulls in a few spaces down, and a couple, slightly older than me, gets out. They have huge smiles all over their faces, as they take in the view. You can tell how much in love they are just by the way they look at each other.
He stands behind her and wraps his arms around her, as she leans back into him. My eyes water, because I want that so badly. I thought I had it, and if I’m honest, I still do if Dallas meant what he said, and I know he did.
In that moment, I know I will fight for Dallas and me, because I meant what I said this morning, too. He’s worth it, and I choose him. I choose us.
I sigh. If I’m honest, I didn’t run, because I was unsure of my feelings for Dallas. I ran because I was unsure if I can live with Landon right now. I don’t want to be around him; I want our bubble back.
I want to be wrapped in Dallas’s arms. I want to fall asleep that way and wake up that way.
I get back in my car and reach a spot where the highway splits. I can go south towards the beach or keep heading towards the mountains. With how small my problems felt on that overlook, the choice is easy. I continue towards the mountains.
The highway narrows and I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but I see an exit labeled scenic drive, so I get off, figuring at the very least, I can have some pretty views, while I figure things out. I only make it a few miles, before the answer to everything sits right in front of me.
Talk about a sign.
Chapter 28
Dallas
Now, it’s my turn to be mad. The hurt is Austin’s eyes and making her run out of here like that, fuck. No one does that to her. I don’t care who you are; I won’t even let Landon treat her like that. What the hell has gotten into him?
I turn to Landon, who is still staring at the door Austin just slammed.
For a moment, I think about running after her, but I know she needs to think and clear her head, and I will give her that while I deal with Landon. Even though, all I want to do is tell him to fuck off and go after my girl.
When he finally turns his gaze back to me, I speak the one truth that trumps everything else. It’s also the last thing I’m sure he’s expecting me to say.
“I love her and have since high school,” I admit for the first time out loud. It feels wrong that Landon is the first one to hear it, but it needs to be said. I’m putting all my cards on the table.
He just stares at me. There’s no emotion on his face, so I say what I had planned.
“Yeah, I slept around, but I was always honest with them, and I didn’t want commitment. I didn’t want it if it wasn’t with Austin. I had it in my head she would never want me. I want you to know I haven’t slept with her. She’s different, and she’s more important.”
“You haven’t slept with her?” He looks shocked.
“I haven’t. This time with her has only made me fall in love with her even more, and I realized I can’t live without her.”
I pause and let that sink in.
Landon studies my face, while his is still blank of emotion.
“I hate to lose you. You’re my best friend, but I can’t live without her. So, don’t make me choose, because there’s no contest, it will always be her.”
He sighs and runs his hands over his face.
“I remembered what yesterday was, and I canceled my trip and got back as fast as I could,” he says. He’s talking about the anniversary of my mom’s death.
“I had Austin. We talked, and I told her everything, even how I used to spend the day. You always said I hadn’t dealt with it, and I think you were right. There was a part of it I couldn’t talk to even you about because during that time, I needed her. When I was with her, it was the only time I felt happy, and the dark cloud over me lifted. She and I talked a lot yesterday. We talked about the good times, the bad ones, and everything we didn’t get a chance to say to each other back then.”
I pause and smile, remembering our time sitting on her bed, talking about anything and everything.
“I needed that more than I realized. I needed her. Yesterday, I laughed, I smiled, I and remembered the good times with my mom, not that horrible time, after she was gone.”
“What couldn’t you talk to me about?” He asks, looking hurt.
“Well, did you know, when it storms Austin crawls into bed with me at night? She has for years.” He looks shocked, but not angry. “Do you know why?” I ask him.
“Why?” He asks quietly.
“That night my mom died I couldn’t sleep. It started storming really bad, and she woke up. I needed someone. She was there for me and held me all night. We didn’t make the connection, until yesterday, but it started then. Storms make me think of my mom, and when Austin is there, she chases those thoughts away. She’s never liked storms since your parents died, so I’ve been there for her, too.”
“She’s been climbing into bed with you for years, and you expect me to believe you never touched her? Damnit, you were her prom date. I know what happens on prom night!”
I just laugh. I don’t know what else to do.
“Until today, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? Did I want to put my hands on Austin? Yes, I wanted her so bad it hurt. I would hold her, and she would cuddle up to me, but that was it. And again, I didn’t touch her at prom either. After the dance, we went and lay in the field on a blanket and talked. She was upset about her ex and needed someone to talk to. I just wanted to soak up time with her. If you don’t believe me, ask her yourself.” I say.
“She was so much younger back then, and it didn’t seem right you liking her.” He says.
“She’s barely two years younger than me. Your dad was five years older than your mom, and they dated in college.” I remind him. “You know you have to let her lead her own life and not try to control her, right? The harder you try to hold on to her, the more you’ll lose her. You’ll put yourself in a no win situation. Even if I stepped away from her, which I won’t, don’t you think she will blame you? You know what heartache is like. Do you really want to be the one responsible for causing your sister that kind of pain?” I ask him.
He cringes but says nothing, as my phone rings. I breathe a sigh of relief that it’s Austin. I look at Landon, before stepping out of the room and answering it.
“Baby girl, are you okay?” I ask.
“Yes, I’m more than okay. I’m sorry I walked out and left you to deal with him alone. Are you okay?” She asks, and I just laugh.
“I can handle him, so don’t you worry about me.”
She’s quiet for a moment, and I don’t want to push her.
“I want our bubble back.” She says.
“Me too,” I admit.
“Good, I’m going to text you an address. Pack a bag for each of us for five days. Actual clothes, Dallas and bathroom items, and I’ll meet you there.”
I smirk. She knows me well. My first thought was to pack as few clothes as possible. Who needs clothes in our bubble? I plan to keep her clothes off her as much as possible.
“Meet me where?”
“At the address I’m going to text you. I kind of took your car, so bring mine, or have Mason bring you if you want.”
“I’ll be there. You’re safe, right?”
She laughs a carefree laugh that wraps around my heart.
“I’m better than I’ve been in a long time. See you soon.”
I don’t bother going back in to the kitchen to talk to Landon. I just head upstairs and find one of her bags in her closet and start grabbing clothes. Shorts, jeans, some of my favorite tops, and everything else she will need. I get her phone cord, tablet, and laptop too just in case.
Once her stuff is packed, I go to my room and do the same. I pull up the address she has texted me, and I see it’s about an hour away.
I head downstairs with both bags over my shoulders to find Landon still in the same place. He looks over, but I don’t offer any information.
“You’re leaving?” He sighs.
“Austin called. She asked me to pack a bag for a few days. She said she wants our bubble back, and so do I. You both need to cool down and think this out, you especially. We’ll be back, and if you don’t want to lose her, you need to talk not yell.”
I grab her car keys and look him over one more time. He looks deep in thought, so I just shake my head and head out to the garage.
“I want you both to be happy, I do.” He says and stops me in my tracks. “It’s hard having been lied to for so long.”
“We tried to tell you our intentions, but you made it impossible to talk to you. Maybe, you need to ask yourself why?” I tell him before I close the door behind me.
Landon has always been my biggest cheerleader, but it seems like the last few years he’s changed, and I can’t put my finger on it. From not believing that I was changing to putting down Austin and me when we tried to talk to him. He just seems off. I need to talk to Austin about it because she knows him just as well.
I plug the address into the navigation and take a deep breath. The car smells like her, and it’s comforting but also makes me hard at the same time. I head towards the highway, ignoring my cock that is trying to find her, find our home. Because above all else, that is what Austin is for me. She’s my home.
On the drive, I send up a silent prayer that we are okay, and this doesn’t break us. She sounded happy on the phone, and like things are going good, and I just hope it stays that way.
I decide it’s time to give her all of me, and the last piece I have been holding back. If she still wants me, I plan to make love to her and show her how much she means to me. I want to feel her around me when she comes and hold her in my arms when we’re one. I want that connection, a connection I never wanted with anyone else.
The further I head out of Nashville, the better I start to feel. This isn’t how I wanted Landon to find out, but I’m glad he knows. Hopefully, he will get his thoughts together over the next few days, and we can come back and talk like adults, like family.
I have this overwhelming need to make sure things are okay for Austin’s sake. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen, except let her go.
No more hiding, and no more sneaking around. I won’t hold back anymore.
Chapter 29
Austin
This cabin is perfect. Right at the base of a mountain; it’s close to hiking trails, a lake, and the cute, small, little town. This is the perfect place for Dallas and me to get back into our bubble and figure out our next steps together.
