Wild Crush (Wilder Valley), page 1
WILD CRUSH
KACEY SHEA
Wild Crush
Kacey Shea
Copyright © 2024 by Kacey Shea Books LLC
All Rights Reserved.
This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect is appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Cover Design: Kim Wilson, KiWi Cover Design
Cover Photography: Jane Ashley Converse
Cover Model: Jordan Wheeler
Editing: Shauna Stevenson, Ink Machine Editing
Proofreading: Laura Martinez & Melissa Hake
ALSO BY KACEY SHEA
Wilder Valley
Wild Hearts
Wild Mistake
Wild Love
Wild Crush
Wild Kiss
Standalones
One Good Thing
The Perfect Comeback
Firefighters
Caught in the Flames
One Hot Night
Caught in the Lies
Caught in the Chase
Caught in Us
Chase & Alicia’s Boxed Set (Caught in the Chase & Caught in Us)
Rock Stars
Detour
Derail
Hinder
Replay
Detour Complete Series: A Rock Star Romance Box Set
DEDICATION
To LaShay,
Thank you for all the easy days.
CONTENTS
Foreword
Prologue
1. Maeve
2. Rainer
3. Maeve
4. Rainer
5. Maeve
6. Rainer
7. Maeve
8. Rainer
9. Maeve
10. Rainer
11. Maeve
12. Rainer
13. Maeve
14. Maeve
15. Rainer
16. Maeve
17. Rainer
18. Maeve
19. Rainer
20. Maeve
21. Rainer
22. Maeve
23. Rainer
24. Maeve
25. Maeve
26. Rainer
27. Maeve
28. Rainer
29. Maeve
30. Rainer
Epilogue
Also by Kacey Shea
Acknowledgments
About the Author
FOREWORD
Dear Reader,
This book does not contain major triggers, however please visit my website for a complete list of possible triggers: https://kaceysheabooks.com/trigger-warnings
I hope you enjoy Maeve & Rainer’s story!
Much love,
Kacey
PROLOGUE
RAINER
Fourteen years ago
“Where are you going?” Cal straightens his spine, noticing I’ve ditched my work clothes for clean jeans and a new shirt. “We still have three hours till quitting time.” He nods to the stack of shingles that still need to be brought to the top of the ladder.
“Not me.” I attempt to hold back my grin, but it’s no use. “Benito said I could leave early.”
Mac puckers his lips and makes smacking sounds in my direction. “He’s going to see his girlfriend.”
I chuck an empty energy drink can in his direction, but he dodges it with a grin.
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Though, if I do things right, she will be by the end of the weekend.
“Please tell us you’re finally gonna tell her how you feel?” Cal peels off his work gloves and reaches for his water bottle. “I don’t think I can take much more of this pining shit.”
Mac nods. “I’ve never seen a man so committed to a woman he’s not fucking.”
“You both talk a lot of shit for guys who also can’t get girlfriends.”
“The hell I can’t.” Mac frowns. “But who needs that drama anyway? Not me.”
Cal laughs. “Oh, is that why you’re single? Because I heard from Jessica who heard from Reya that you suck at eating pussy.”
“She’s a fucking liar.” Mac rests his hands on his hips. “She’s just mad because I didn’t call her afterward.”
“Dude.” I narrow my gaze.
“Not cool, man.” Cal shakes his head.
“What?” Mac shows no remorse. He’s one of my friends, but he sure is an asshole.
“I’m out of here.” I hoist my bag over my shoulder and jingle my keys.
Cal lifts his chin. “Go get your girl.”
“And get laid!” Mac shouts.
I flip them both the bird as I walk away, hiding my laughter. After leaving the worksite, I gas up my truck and run inside the convenience store to buy Maeve’s favorite snacks before I shoot her a text to let her know I’m on my way. It’ll take a good hour to drive to Flagstaff, but my overnight bag is packed and there’s no place I’d rather be than with her.
Maeve Wilder has been my best friend since we met in first grade. Growing up in Wilder Valley, I spent as much time playing with Maeve on her family’s ranch as I did at my own house, and we’ve been close ever since.
I loved her before I knew what love was. Only, when I finally figured it out, I never had the guts to tell her my feelings go beyond just friends. I should have told her in high school. I should have told her after we graduated. But more than that, I should have told her before she left for college.
I was scared.
Scared to lose her friendship.
Scared she wouldn’t return my affection and I’d ruin what we have.
Those fears are still alive and well, but something I’ve realized since she moved away last month is that I’m more scared to live my entire life filled with regret.
This trip isn’t only to see my best friend, it’s for me to take a chance on love.
Maeve: I can’t wait to see you! Be prepared for me to tackle you with a hug!
A grin pulls at my lips and some of the nerves in my body calm as I read her text. I spend the drive listening to music in an attempt to distract my thoughts, only each and every song reminds me of Maeve. Memories of us flood my mind. The yearning I hold in my heart for this woman fills my chest, creating an ache I can’t ignore. There is no doubt in my mind that Maeve loves me. But is it possible that her feelings extend to the romantic kind? There’s only one way to find out.
The traffic slows as the highway meets the outer limits of the vibrant college town. I roll my window down, enjoying the breeze as I stop and go for the next mile. A train horn echoes over the rumble of the line of vehicles stopped at the light. I’ve only been here once before, the weekend I drove up with Maeve’s family to move her in, but I’ve already memorized the route. I drive straight to the visitor parking lot nearest to her dorm, circling a few times before a space opens up.
My hands shake as I reach for my phone and type out a text.
Me: I’m here.
Maeve: Yay!! Coming down!
Shit. It’s go time. I’ve practiced my speech over and over again, but I’m finally going to say it aloud. Nerves rattle my chest, but somehow I manage to cut the engine and gather my things before hopping out of the truck cab.
I sling the strap of my bag over one shoulder, and turn back to lock the truck.
“Rainer!”
A smile pulls my lips into a wide arc as I turn toward the joyful sound.
Maeve runs toward me, her hair wild and smile bright.
The sight of her bolsters my confidence. “Hey, gorgeous girl.” I open my arms wide in anticipation and brace my center of balance for the incoming hug.
She launches herself into my embrace, wrapping her limbs around my body on a laugh. “I missed you.”
My heart races at her confession. It’s in moments like these I find a glimmer of hope. I bury my head in her wild curls and inhale, holding her like she’s mine to keep. “Missed you more.”
She pulls away all too soon, her smiling gaze traveling down my body. She spots the candy and chips clutched in my right hand. “What are those?”
“Your favorite.” I grin, handing over the snacks as a squeal of approval escapes her body.
“That’s so sweet. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I take a breath before opening my mouth to confess the secret I’ve held on to for so many years.
“Maeve?” A deep voice interrupts before I get the chance.
“Oh!” Maeve glances behind her and laughs. She practically skips over to the two people walking toward us. I didn’t notice their approach; I was too consumed by her.
One person I recognize as Maeve’s roommate, Liv, who I met during move-in weekend, but the guy I’ve never seen before. I straighten my spine.
Maeve reaches for the dude’s hand, and a sour feeling spoils the joy I’d felt only a few seconds ago.
No.
No. No. No.
This can’t be happening.
Maeve looks at him the way I’ve always hoped she’d look at me. “Alex, this is Rainer. My best friend.”
I’ve always worn that title like a badge of honor, but not now. Now it feels like second best.
“Hey, man.” Alex
I instantly hate him.
“Yeah.” Propriety forces my hand into his. I would never embarrass Maeve, but I have to fight back the urge to shove him. “Nice to meet you.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you on the phone.” Maeve smiles, but I know her well enough to catch the insecurity laced in her words. “I have a boyfriend! Can you believe it?”
Alex slings an arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side.
“I’m so glad you’re here so you could meet him.” Her eyes meet mine.
She wants my approval.
She wants me to befriend him.
Fuck, I don’t know how I can offer her any of those things when my hopes are crushed.
But it’s not her fault.
It’s mine.
I’m too late.
I know how fucking perfect she is, and how any man would be a fool not to notice. What was I thinking pining for her all this time? Waiting for what? My love for Maeve has never wavered. I should have told her, but I didn’t, and now I have to live with the reality that while I was on the sidelines, this Alex guy stole my spot.
1
MAEVE
Present Day
My mom was the best, but she set an unrealistic standard for motherhood. She raised five children on a ranch, made breakfast and dinner for her family every day, tended a garden in her spare time, and never once lost her shit.
Growing up, I wanted to be just like her.
Now, I just want an ounce of her patience.
God, I miss her.
I wish she were here. Though, she would be appalled if she could see my home right now. The only benefit to her being dead is that she will never see the disaster that is my marriage and my homemaking skills, and I’ll never have to witness her disappointment.
I hate the idea of disappointing the people I love, especially her.
Glancing around my home, I take in the mess of toys that clutter every surface, the sink full of dirty dishes, and the endless mountain of laundry. Collin, my fussy teething baby is not at all soothed by my rocking, though if I set him down, his cries will turn to screams. Lulu tugs at my leg, whining for more snacks even though there are plenty in the cup she’s carrying. Ari sits at the table, a defiant lock to his jaw, refusing to do the worksheet his teacher sent home. It would take him all of five minutes if he would just do it, but he’s as headstrong and stubborn as any of my brothers.
Four hours till bedtime.
The countdown begins. I just have to make it with my sanity intact for four more hours and then I can attempt to carve out a little bit of peace before one of my children will no doubt wake up crying. I can’t remember the last time I had a full night’s sleep, but I would settle for five hours of continuous, uninterrupted rest. Hell, I’d settle for an hour of time to myself where no one is complaining or touching me.
That’s what I look forward to most. An hour on the sofa, with a snack I don’t have to share, watching a television show that’s not appropriate for children. It’s my carrot to get me through these long days.
Alex won’t be back until tomorrow evening, so I don’t need to clean the house tonight. I probably should, but that will be tomorrow’s problem.
I will never admit this to anyone, but I often look forward to the days he’s on the road. It’s a lot of work to run a household and raise children, but sometimes it’s nice to serve cereal for dinner with no one around to judge.
Maybe it would be different if Alex were a little more helpful, but when he’s home, he’s exhausted. He gets frustrated with everything and everyone. Especially when he can’t relax in front of the TV without someone crying or screaming or laughing—which is basically every moment of every day. He doesn’t have the patience, and I get it. I struggle not to lose my shit on the daily. But he didn’t grow up with a big loving family. It was just him and his mom, and it shows.
He’s a good provider. He loves me, and he loves our family. But I wish he would get in the trenches with me.
I think that’s why some days it’s easier to do this alone even though it’s not easy at all.
Plus, there’s the whole sex thing.
Whenever he gets back from a trip, he expects to have sex. It’s something we agreed upon early in our marriage, and in the beginning it worked. It was a way for us to connect physically and emotionally after being away from each other. A challenge when your partner is a truck driver.
But as the years passed and more children were born, it became less and less about connection and more about duty and routine. At least for me.
The thing is, I want a healthy and exciting sex life. But after parenting for an entire week on my own, the last thing I want is for anyone to touch me. Even him. It’s not something I’m proud of. Hell, I should be grateful my husband wants to sleep with me, and that he finds me desirable after all these years together and after my body has carried three children.
I know I’m not the only mother who’s overworked, overtaxed, and exhausted. But on the days when Alex comes home, I have to mentally prepare so I don’t pull away when he reaches for me at night.
I hate myself a little for that.
He deserves so much more from his wife.
And I wish sex was more than a chore.
But that’s tomorrow’s problem.
The next four hours drag painfully slowly and everyone has a meltdown, including me, but by some miracle we make it to bedtime.
I’m rocking Collin in my arms, fantasizing about spending a solid hour watching television and devouring the bag of candy I hid in the back of the pantry when the faint rumble of a diesel squashes my plans.
Fuck.
Collin is not fully asleep, but I place him in his crib and quietly slip out the door.
I check my phone’s calendar, thinking I must have screwed up, but instead I’m confused when I confirm Alex should be on the road another night. There’s no text or missed call from him. This is so strange. He doesn’t have the kind of job where he comes home early.
Well, fuck.
As I look around, the rumble of Alex’s truck grows closer. The house is a disaster. There are toys everywhere. Dishes are stacked in the sink, and piles of laundry are next to the washer and dryer. There’s no way I can clean this up before he walks in the door, but I try.
I race around the living room, a vain attempt to construct order, when the lock on the door twists, announcing my husband’s arrival.
I don’t need a mirror to know that I look more of a hot mess than the state of my house, but when Alex steps through the door and meets my eyes, I regret not taking these last few minutes to make myself presentable.
“Hey.” He drops his bag on the floor. “What happened to your hair?”
“Oh.” I smooth back the frazzled strands. “I didn’t have time for a shower today.”
He looks around the living room. “Looks like you didn’t have time for anything.” He frowns. “The kids aren’t sick, are they?”
“No.”
“Jesus, Maeve. What the hell did you do all day?”
Irritation bubbles in my chest. I almost smart back “take care of your kids,” but I don’t want to start a fight. He’s obviously had a long day too. “You’re home a day early.”
“Yeah.” He kicks off his shoes. “What did you make for dinner?”
“There aren’t any leftovers.” It’s not a complete lie. We finished a box of cereal.
“Really?” His tone hardens with irritation. “I work too hard to not come home to a hot meal.”
My jaw falls open. “If you would’ve let me know you were coming home early, I would have made sure to have something for you.” I attempt to keep the annoyance out of my tone, but I’m unsuccessful.
“Let you know?” he scoffs. “This is my house. I don’t need to update you on my ETA. I can come home whenever I want.” He’s looking for a fight, I know he is, and I should walk away.
But I don’t. “Oh, I’m aware. You can come home whenever you want, and you can leave whenever you want. Do you know what I would give to be able to do either one of those things?”
