Safe Harbor (Scoops Series Book 1), page 25
“And Jess, when you offered to help her with the cakes,” he continued. “She came up to me later that day and told me that you were one of the good ones, and that she would beat me up if I did anything stupid.”
“Jess is truly a riddle I can’t solve.”
“Agreed,” Calvin chuckled. “And then…there’s me. I’ve never really had a girlfriend because I’ve been so afraid of anyone actually knowing the truth about my life. I thought it would be too much for someone to handle, so I just never really bothered. I did my work, I finished school, I took care of Gram. But then it’s like I met you and all of that changed, and I feel safe enough to share these things.”
“Why me?” She couldn’t help it, she had to know.
Calvin just looked into her eyes with a telling expression. “Headband, you know why.”
Melanie could feel her heart hammering in her chest. Calvin reached a hand up toward her face, stroking the elastic headband slightly with the tips of his fingers before combing them through her hair.
“I knew since the moment you ordered that Strawberry cone,” he confessed. “I am completely in love with you, Mel. When I told you that I wouldn’t let go, I meant it. Because I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I’ve lost more than enough in my life to know that when you’re blessed with something so good, you hold on to it with everything that you have.”
She gazed into his eyes that gleamed underneath the stars, her heart pounding in her chest. I am completely in love with you. I can’t bear the thought of losing you. His confession was so beautiful and raw, yet she was left tongue-tied. Nerves coursed through her body at every passing second, those three words practically on her lips. But she couldn’t seem to let them free.
But Calvin didn’t seem to notice her hesitation as he cupped his hand behind her head and kissed her, tipping open her mouth with his. The smoothness of his lips and the feel of his hand as he methodically massaged her neck had Melanie melting into his touch. They leaned back down onto the blanket as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He traced slowly down her back as he reached under her sweatshirt, his hands warm on her cool skin.
But he didn’t go any farther. He continued to brush his hands on the small of her back and kiss her, but he didn’t explore her. She thought about the way his hands had felt underneath the back of her bra just hours earlier and how much she wanted that feeling again, wanted his hands on her. She wondered if maybe he was waiting for her permission to break all those rules in his head.
She released her lips from his. “Calvin,” she whispered.
“Mmhmm,” he said, tracing his nose against her cheek.
“You don’t have to hold back anymore.”
He shifted back slightly, looking into her eyes. “Are you sure?”
She couldn’t help it as her lips curled into a smile. “Yes. I’m sure.”
He nodded, brushing his lips against hers, grinning. “Okay…me too.”
As Calvin dipped down to kiss her, letting his hands finally explore her as he pinned her body beneath his, she hoped she would soon have the courage to say those three words back…even though she felt them deeply in her heart.
She blinked her eyes open, the sky still dark, realizing the two of them had fallen asleep. Calvin’s body was wrapped around hers, his arms and his legs and his neck covering her, like he was her own personal armor. She reached for her phone and tapped on it, realizing it was 2:30 in the morning. She panicked. Her phone was almost dead, and she didn’t have any service.
“Hey,” she whispered, rubbing Calvin’s shoulder in an attempt to wake him. “We should probably go.”
He huffed, curling his arms around her even tighter. “Five more minutes.”
“Tempting,” she teased. “But I really should be getting home.”
Even though her parents didn’t keep close tabs on her, after their conversation tonight, she really didn’t want to chance it.
Calvin blinked his eyes open, reaching over to kiss Melanie’s cheek before peeling himself slowly off her. They collected the blanket and half-empty thermos of tea before heading back toward the car. His arm was wrapped tightly around her shoulders, hers around his waist.
“I’m pretty sure this is the best night of my life,” he admitted, pulling her in for another kiss.
She smiled as she felt her face flush. “Yeah, me too.”
They climbed into his truck and took off, winding down the roads back toward civilization. Melanie felt her phone buzz in her pocket, meaning she finally had service again.
It buzzed again.
Then again.
And again.
She furrowed her eyebrows as she reached for it in her sweatshirt pocket, watching as a stream of notifications came through on her screen.
Nine texts from Mom.
Three from Dad.
Five missed phone calls.
One voicemail.
She hastily tapped on the message, pressing the phone to her ear.
It was from Mom, a mixture of screaming and sobbing.
Melanie, where are you!! We’re on our way to the hospital, your brother…
Calvin glanced over at her, looking concerned. “What’s going on?”
Tears pooled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. “Baybrook Hospital,” she whispered.
Calvin quickly switched gears and pressed hard on the gas.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Melanie rushed into the hospital, her vision a complete blur—a mixture of tears and utter disbelief that this was happening all over again. Calvin found out which room they were in, and she didn’t wait for him as she bolted down the hall. She pushed open the door and found Mom and Dad kneeling on the floor, curled up together as sobs ripped through them.
“N—no,” she croaked. “No, please.”
But it was too late.
Duncan Chase Albertson left the world on August 19 at 2:19 a.m.
He drove back to Garrison that night to see old friends for a back-to-school party to celebrate the start of classes that he wouldn’t be attending. His blood alcohol levels weren’t as high as the night of prom, but close enough.
Then he got behind the wheel.
His head injuries from the crash were irreversible, and as the alcohol had taken over his system, his body gave up in defeat.
The doctor came in and mumbled something to Melanie, but she couldn’t hear him over the sound of her own screaming as she charged for the hospital bed.
Calvin tried reaching for her but she pushed him off, his touch feeling like burns against her skin. She climbed onto the bed next to Duncan, begging for him to come back to her, wishing this was just a cruel nightmare.
But her life, it seemed, was a mixture of dreams and nightmares. Light…and darkness. And that night, as Melanie curled up against Duncan’s body despite the doctor’s pleas, pressing her face in his dirty blonde curls, the darkness had won.
Melanie didn’t remember much of the moments and days that followed. She remembered being lifted from the hospital bed and into Dad’s car, then eventually brought up to her room. She remembered her mother’s attempt at trying to get her to eat something as she held out a paper plate with a slice of peanut butter toast, which Melanie refused. She remembered briefly hearing Calvin’s deep voice mumbling with Dad downstairs days later, discussing arrangements.
But she didn’t remember how the black dress hanging on her door had gotten into her room—somehow appearing unnoticed as the crashing waves of grief consumed her. She had gone through phases of denial lying on that hospital bed, refusing to believe that any of this could actually be real. But as she waded through moments of sleep and wakefulness, the nightmare had yet to cease. And it was unrelenting.
At some point, Melanie heard the creak of her door as it slowly opened.
“Mel, get dressed,” Mom said quietly. She didn’t wait for her to respond before closing it.
Even though she moved off the bed, following the usual rhythm of getting dressed, her entire body felt numb. She zipped up the side of the dress that she’d never seen before. She decided that after today, she would also never see it again. She slipped on her pair of black flats, the one’s she hadn’t worn since her last day at Garrison Prep, and decided that those would have to go as well.
Melanie didn’t even bother looking in the mirror before leaving her room, shuffling down the stairs. She knew Dad put his arm around her shoulders, but felt nothing, the words he spoke sounding muffled like she was underwater. Her vision was already blurry from tears as he guided her to the car.
The three of them drove silently to the little white chapel, the same one Melanie went to with Gram and Calvin. She had no idea if Calvin had tried to contact her. She wasn’t even sure where her phone was at the moment, probably dead in the small pile of untouched clothes that she stripped off after that horrid night.
Melanie felt her dad’s hand gently reach for her arm, pulling her out of the car. He steadied her as they walked toward the chapel, Mom clenching his other hand tightly. When they stepped inside all murmuring ceased, but Melanie didn’t bother to look into their sorrowful eyes as they made their way down the aisle, taking a seat at the front pew on the left.
At some point, she felt the warmth of a body sitting next to her. He was wearing his usual black slacks, but this time with a black T-shirt underneath a blazer. Calvin didn’t reach for her or touch her. But he sat close enough to let her know he was there if she needed him.
The reverend started with prayers about peace. Melanie glanced up at the closed coffin before them. A bouquet of white roses had been placed at the top of the casket, and more roses lined a large framed picture of Duncan displayed on the side. It was a picture taken at some point that summer, his bouncy curls flying in the wind, his cheeks pink with life as he laughed, the most glorious grin covering his face.
“Duncan was a light to us all,” the reverend started. “He knew how to make us laugh and how to bring joy. His infectious love for his family and friends reminds us that life is a precious gift.”
Melanie heard a sob cut through the reverend’s words. She glanced up and saw Leila in the front pew on the right side, her face crumbling with sloppy tears as an older woman held her close, rubbing her back. She quickly skimmed the pews, noticing the Fletchers sat behind them, along with some of the other Sandy Cove neighbors. Rory was there as well, sitting next to Blake, followed by Tyler, Jay, Jess, Ron, and Gram. Their eyes locked briefly. Rory didn’t smile, but lifted her hands slightly and shaped them into a heart. Melanie just stared back at her blankly before turning back toward the front.
“Yet there is a darkness in this world that tries hard to consume us, and Duncan…he struggled with that darkness,” the reverend continued. “He was no stranger to pain and the tendrils of evil that lurk among us. And for our poor brother, it overwhelmed him.”
She felt it in her chest—that same storm that thundered inside her so many times before. In the past she’d always found ways to contain it, to control the anger that burned through her like a mighty flame. But all of that strong willpower that she relied on for years had completely depleted the day she lost her twin.
Without even comprehending what she was doing, Melanie let her lion roar. She stood up abruptly and walked around the pew, making the entire congregation gasp. The reverend paused his homily as Melanie launched down the aisle and flung open the door, leaving the chapel.
The door swung closed, and soon after, she heard a faint click as the door opened. She didn’t glance back, crossing her arms tightly around her chest as Calvin came up to her side.
“Is that it?” Melanie croaked. “Is that really all he gets? He—he didn’t even have a chance.”
“I know,” he whispered, his voice sounding ragged and torn. She turned to face him, noticing tears had formed in the corners of his eyes.
He didn’t reach for her—he knew not to. After that night, Calvin didn’t touch her again. Melanie thought about the way his hands had felt on her skin at the hospital, how the places he touched felt like scorch marks, leaving scars that reminded her of how deep her shame was. Of completely missing the moment her family needed her most.
She looked away from him as she felt that same shame to flood through her entire body. “I can’t go back in there,” she admitted. “That man has no idea who Duncan is or how to honor him. Nobody here does.”
“Then how do you want to honor him?”
She shifted her gaze, but not to his face—just down at his shoes.
“What is the way that you want to honor Duncan, Mel?” Calvin asked again.
The idea came to her gently, like a whisper in the wind. She lifted her head and started for Calvin’s truck.
Melanie pried open the doors of the shed behind cottage five, squinting at the dim shadows within. She eyed what she was looking for and crouched down, wiping off the layer of dust before pulling out stacks of colorful plastic buckets. She handed the stacks to Calvin, his blazer already off and folded neatly on the banister leading to the house.
She grabbed a net bag of plastic shovels and rakes before standing back up. As soon as she left the shed, she kicked off her shoes near the trash can, then started for the beach.
Calvin followed with the stacks of buckets and placed them next to Melanie as she knelt down in the sand. She used her arm to level out a large flat surface in front of her.
“What would you like me to do?” Calvin asked.
She peeled off a bucket from one of the stacks, shoving it in his direction. “Go find crabs.”
Calvin did what he was told without a word, rolling up the ends of his slacks before wading in the water, lifting up rocks and dutifully catching crabs, placing them gently in his bucket.
Melanie got to work too. She did exactly as Duncan had always taught her, filling the bucket with some water before packing in dry sand, making each tower sturdy. She pressed the sand in tightly with her fist before turning it over on the flat surface.
The first tower completely fell apart, but she just swept the sand off and tried again. The next tower was able to stand despite parts of the top slowly crumbling away. But she didn’t care as she kept building tower after tower, using buckets of different shapes and sizes as she stacked the towers overtop of one another. Her shapes looked like blobs but she kept moving, hoping that somehow at the end, the castle would turn into something magical. Like Duncan had reached down and fixed it himself.
“Here,” Calvin said softly behind her.
She turned around and took the bucket from him, then delicately tipped the crabs into the center of the castle, into their new home. The bucket she held bumped one of her towers, causing a large part of the right side of the castle to come tumbling down.
She threw the bucket and let out a cry, dropping to her knees. Her dress was now wet and covered with sand, but she couldn’t care less. She hugged her legs tightly toward her chest, pressed her forehead to her knees, and bawled. She didn’t bother wiping her face as the tears fell and snot dribbled from her nose.
She felt a hand on her shoulder but she shoved it off, pulling her legs even tighter together.
Calvin stepped back. “I’ll, um…I’ll be on the porch.”
He left her alone as she continued to cry at the pathetic sand castle next to her.
“You were so much better at this, Dee,” she said, her voice gurgling with each word. “You were better at everything. I wish the world could have seen it. How deeply you loved and how much joy you brought to the world.”
She sobbed for a few moments, then took a deep, steadying breath before continuing. “I can’t do this without you. I don’t even know how.”
Melanie wasn’t sure how long she sat there, rocking back and forth, letting herself openly weep on Sandy Cove beach. All she knew was at some point, her father’s arms wrapped around her as he lifted her up, the sky already deep shades of purple, and the sun already gone.
“Come on, Mel Mel, get up! Let’s go, stupid!”
Duncan was jumping up and down on their bed. It was early—or at least it felt that way after spending the majority of the night before playing their Game Boys under the covers.
“No, so tired,” Melanie moaned, throwing the quilt over her head.
He reached for the blanket and pulled it off of her, throwing it on the floor. “Mel Mel, the sand on the beach is still damp. It’s prime castle-making conditions, get your stupid butt out of bed.”
She flung herself at her brother to try and punch him, but he wrestled her, shoving her face in his armpit, and yelling at her to smell it. She pinched his belly, causing him to yelp and jump back.
“Okay, fine, let me get my suit on,” she moaned.
“No time,” he said, grabbing her hand and tugging her down the steps of the cottage. “If we wait, the sand will be too dry.”
“Where do you two think you’re going?” Mom asked, already at work putting together their picnic lunch for the beach.
“No time to chat, we have work to do,” he said, dragging Melanie toward the front screen door.
“Well, do you want breakfast?”
“Pancakes,” Duncan ordered. “But when we get back.”
Mom rolled her eyes as they stepped outside. They picked up the sandy buckets and shovels that lined the front of the house, then she chased him down to the beach. The sand was perfectly damp, the ends of her bright blue pajama pants getting coated with wet sand and strings of dry black seaweed.
Duncan was already on the ground, making a level surface for them to start building. “Start packing the buckets with sand, Mel Mel. As tight as you can.”
She did as he said, packing sand tightly into buckets and handing them over to her brother. He assessed her work, fixing her packing job to make sure the tower wouldn’t topple over, before gracefully turning the bucket over and sliding it off, making a perfectly shaped tower every single time. He stacked the towers on top of each other, stepping back to evaluate his work with each new tower like an architect. She loved to watch her brother’s creativity come to life, the shapes of his castles always getting bigger and more intricate with each summer they spent in Haverport. She always thought about how naturally smart he was compared to her, and secretly wished she could be just like him.
