Ambitious (NeXt Book 4), page 7
“Bad. Let’s just say I’m much happier being your attorney than theirs,” he answers somberly.
“I want to help. Can I do anything? Tell me and I’ll do it.”
My lawyer shakes his head and recoils like this is the worst idea he’s ever heard. “No. I want you to stay away from him. It will be better for everyone. No contact at all, Savannah. Do you hear me?”
The way he says that reminds me of how my father used to reprimand us kids when we did something wrong. He always ended his scolding with the words do you hear me. I always wanted to say that I wasn’t deaf, and right now, I have to bite my tongue from saying the same thing as a grown woman.
I hear him. I just don’t like the words he’s saying.
“Fine.”
Robert stands to leave and nods his head, clearly happy I’ve agreed to what he demands. I don’t and haven’t, but this isn’t an argument I want to have with him right now.
“I’ll let you know when I hear anything, but for now, I think you and Cheyenne are in the clear. Don’t talk to the press outside your door, though, okay, Savannah? I know you want to. I know you want to tell them what’s on your mind, but don’t. It won’t turn out well. And above all, no contacting anyone from that escort business. That’s their mess to deal with now, not yours.”
“Okay. Thank you, Robert. I appreciate your help with this.”
“I’ll see myself out. Cheer up, Savannah. Things can only get better.”
That gets him a tepid smile. I guess he’s right. I mean, could things get worse for Cash and me? First, there is no Cash and me as of the last time we talked. All he could say was I deserved better. Better than him. Better than this. Just better.
The problem is I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care if the world thinks some other more proper man would be better for me.
“So what did your fine lawyer have to say? Are we headed for the big house? They warn men not to drop the soap. What’s the warning for women?”
I look up as the last thoughts of Cash drift away and see Cheyenne smiling down at me from the doorway. Dressed in her black bikini, she looks as relaxed as she always has, even joking about us going to prison.
“You ask the most bizarre questions. I love that bathing suit on you. Running has definitely paid dividends, I’d say.”
She poses for a moment and her grin spreads practically ear to ear. “Thanks! I’ll probably gain a ton of it back since I’m trapped at Chez Savannah until further notice. You really could use a treadmill here, you know.”
“I’m not a runner, so all it would do is gather dust. By the way, Robert told me he thinks the police are going to drop this idea of charging any of us who used the service. I’d say that’s good news.”
Cheyenne strikes another pose to show off her favorite bathing suit and points out toward the pool. “That calls for a swim. So I’ll be free to move about the countryside soon? But if it’s all good news, why do you look like someone just told you their aunt squandered all their money and they’re broke?”
I wave off her question, not really wanting to talk about why I’m still sad after hearing Robert’s news. The problem is Cheyenne isn’t one to let anything go, so she pushes for an answer, like always.
Finally, after avoiding telling her the truth, I mumble, “I’m just missing Cash. I’m worried about him. I want to call him, but Robert says I shouldn’t. Not that it matters since he doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
“Oh, honey, that’s probably just what his lawyer told him to do like Dudley did. I say once you’re sprung from our luxury jail here, you should find out where he is and go see him. Go after what you want, Savannah. It’s the only way to ensure you find your happiness.”
So typical Cheyenne. Nothing ever seems daunting to her.
“One problem. Well, more than one problem, but the big one is I don’t know where he is and his phone is turned off.”
“Hire a private detective. Put all that money to good use. Keep in mind that I might need to borrow a significant amount if my school fires me because of this whole escort thing,” she says before tossing her towel over her shoulder.
“You don’t exactly look worried about losing your job. How do you do it?” I ask as she walks away toward the pool.
Cheyenne turns around and throws her towel on one of the chaise lounges. “What will happen will happen. I can’t change that. If I could, I would, but I can’t, so I’m going swimming. Want to join me?”
I shake my head at her way of just letting life happen without stressing her out. I wish I could be like her.
Spreading her arms out to the side, she lets herself fall backwards into the pool like she doesn’t have a care in the world. God, I wish I was like her.
Chapter Nine
Cash
Three days of laying around my brother’s apartment avoiding the outside world has me feeling like shit. Every day, he goes off to his job at the restaurant while I stay here like some kind of man-sized slug. My main exercise has been shuffling from the couch to the kitchen and back again, and I think I’ve watched every goddamned movie on Netflix.
Not exactly anything to brag about, especially since I’m essentially hiding out here.
At least the media circus has all but gone away. They followed me here when I left my parents’ house, but that security Alex thought would be useful only to keep his crazy girlfriends at bay turned out to be the trick I needed. Unable to get close to where I was, the news crews slowly disappeared. When I looked out this morning, there was one lonely reporter and a single news van and nothing else.
“Not that I don’t appreciate your circumstances, but dude, you look like some kind of guy who’s been living in the wild for half a year. Have you even brushed your teeth since you got here?”
I look up at Alex from my spot on the couch and narrow my eyes in disgust. “What’s the fucking point of shaving if I’m just going to sit here and watch another eight movies today? As for my teeth, yes, I’ve brushed them. Who are you, my mother?”
My salty comeback leaves my mouth before I realize it, and Alex stares down at me like I’m some pathetic thing he wishes he could help. “Have you spoken to her since you’ve been here?”
I shake my head, hating that the truth of the matter is I haven’t and I’m beginning to wonder if she’s ever going to speak to me again in this lifetime. “No. Dad said to give her some space, so that’s what I’m doing.”
“Okay. I’m going to jump into the shower since I have to be at the restaurant earlier than my usual today.”
Even that sounds more exciting than what I have planned for the next twelve hours. I think I might be growing roots into my brother’s couch, so there’s that, and I might choose to get so drunk that I forget what my life has become.
To think that I was a guy who had the world by the short hairs just a week ago.
All this time alone makes me want to do the one thing I shouldn’t do. I made sure to cut off things with Savannah in such a way that she shouldn’t ever want to talk to me again, but that’s all I can think of since I got here.
I can’t give in to that. She’s better off without me.
Leaning back against the couch, I close my eyes and wish I didn’t miss her so damn much. My chest feels like someone’s pressing down on it with a giant weight and I can’t get a full breath of air in. Maybe it’s this place. Being stuck inside a one bedroom apartment day after day could do that to a person. Not talking to anyone but Alex could do it too.
That’s it. Maybe I just need to spend some time out on the balcony today. Get some fresh air. Get the fuck away from in front of the TV and every bad movie ever made.
When I open my eyes and look around at my brother’s home, I know the truth. It won’t matter how much fresh air I get or how many movies I don’t watch. I’m still going to feel this way because I miss Savannah.
Across the room, his phone sits with his keys on the table where he routinely sets them before work. I listen for the sound of water from the shower, but I can’t hear anything since the bathroom is on the other side of the apartment.
I jog down the hallway and press my ear to the door. Now I can hear the water running. Good! That means I have at least a few minutes while he finishes showering and then gets ready for work.
Quickly, I run back to get his phone and press in Savannah’s number to send her a text.
I’m sorry for what I said the other night. I only wanted to protect you, but I know I hurt you. Don’t call or text back since this isn’t my phone, but I want to see you.
Sure the water has stopped running, I creep down the hallway again and listen. Fuck. Alex is done with his shower already. Damn! The one day I needed him to take a long shower he rushes through the thing.
I hurriedly type in his address and security code to give to the guy in the shack outside and tell her Alex will be gone for the night.
Please come. I miss you.
My hands shaking, I send the text and then quickly delete all proof both messages ever existed before setting his phone back exactly the way it was. I take my usual position on the couch and try to look as casual as possible. When he comes out to leave for work, I’m doing exactly what I’ve done every minute I’ve been here.
Watching TV from the end of the couch in his living room.
“Got any plans tonight?” Alex asks as he grabs his keys and stuffs his phone into his pants pocket.
I shrug like nothing means anything to me, even while I wonder if Savannah already got my text and is making plans to come down here at this very moment. “Just living the dream here on the third cushion of your luxurious couch. I might move to the second cushion, though, just to change things up a bit.”
“Okay. Try not to have too much fun. I’ll be back by a little after midnight, unless things get really wild. I don’t think they will, but you never know. How about I grab some beer and we can get drunk since I have tomorrow off?”
I smile, thankful for his attempts at cheering me up. Alex is a good guy and a hell of a brother. He’s also someone who hates to be around miserable people, so I imagine his efforts to get me drunk tonight are as much to rid himself of the frown he sees every time he lays eyes on me as they are to help me get out of this funk.
“Yeah, that might be good. I could go for a few beers.”
“Good. I’ll see you later then. Have a good night!”
As he walks out the door, I smile to myself. I hope I do have exactly that. I just need Savannah to show up.
I let my head loll back on the arm of the couch as the second Star Wars prequel ends with Anakin and Padme getting a brief moment of happiness. I could watch the third one, but my mood isn’t anywhere it needs to be to see that romance and Anakin’s friendship with Obi-Wan go up in smoke when he chooses the dark side.
Maybe I should find a comedy to watch.
A knock at the front door makes me sit up, and for a second, panic rushes through me. Did one of those media people make it through the security outside to get up here? Then I remember I texted Savannah to come down to see me. Did she actually do it?
I hurry to the door and look through the peephole to see her beautiful face. Dressed in white shorts, a navy blue t-shirt, and white sandals, she looks like sweetness personified. But she looks unsure, like she doesn’t know if she should be here or maybe she made a mistake coming to see me. I have to stop her before she runs away.
Throwing open the door, I grab her arm and pull her inside. “You came! I wasn’t sure you would, but I’m so happy to see you. Come in!”
When I close the door, she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly to her. “Cash, I missed you so much. I’ve been so worried about you. Then all those things you said the other night made me wish I could see you so we could talk, but I kept calling your phone and it went directly to voicemail. I thought you were avoiding me.”
I revel in the feel of her body next to mine. God, I’ve missed her. She’s soft and delicate, but just having her with me gives me the strength I need to go on. For the first time since those cops took me away, I honestly believe I can get through this.
She clings to me, refusing to let go, and I inhale a deep breath to take in the soft scent of her perfume. It instantly reminds me of the time we spent together at her house, something I pray to God I might have the chance to do again.
“I’m so sorry, Savannah. I should have never said all those things the other day. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I’ve been miserable ever since.”
Her body trembles, and then I feel her crying. “Cheyenne said I should find out where you are and go to you, but I didn’t know how to do that. I wasn’t sure which name to search, and she said I should hire a private investigator. Then I got your text and it felt like it was sent from heaven. I got in my car and drove as fast as I could to get here.”
I pry her hands from my neck and lean back to look down at her beautiful face. It’s wet with tears, so I gently run the pads of my thumbs across the tops of her cheeks to dry them. I feel like she’s heaven sent, an angel come to make everything better.
Cradling her face, I kiss her softly on the lips, and she lets out a sigh. I know exactly how she feels. It’s like everything will be okay now that we’re together again.
“I think proper introductions are in order. I’m Cash March, not Cash Lucas, Lucas is my mother’s maiden name. You already know this next part, but I wasn’t just an escort. I was the co-owner of the business. That doesn’t change anything that happened between us, though, Savannah. The only time I was working was when I was your date for your brother’s wedding. Everything after that was just me wanting to be with you.”
She smiles after a few seconds of taking all that information in and runs her hand along my jaw covered in a new beard. “Cassian March IV is what they keep calling you on the news. It sounds very formal and nothing like the man I know.”
“My given name after my father, my grandfather, and my great-grandfather.”
Her dark eyes search my face for a moment before she nods. “It’s a very nice name. Very regal. I think I like Cash better, though. You’ll always be Cash to me.”
“I’m so sorry you got caught up in my mess. I never wanted you to get hurt. Not by me and not with the police. If I could go back in time and change things, I would make sure you never got involved with the escort service. You or your sister.”
Hurt fills her expression, and she shakes her head. “Don’t say that! If I didn’t call that number, I would have never met you. Are you saying you wish we never met?”
Jesus, I keep screwing things up. I can’t even say what I mean without it coming out wrong.
“No, not at all. I just wish you didn’t have all those people outside your home sticking microphones in your face whenever you open the door. I hate the idea that the police are going to drag you into this. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of it. That’s all I meant.”
Suddenly, a smile brightens her face. “My attorney says that the police aren’t going to come after the women who used the escort service, so I think we’re going to be safe. I’m more worried about you, Cash.”
The happiness drains away when she mentions my legal issues, which aren’t solved by any means. “What does your lawyer say? Does he think everything will be okay?”
I want to tell her the truth because I don’t want her to think I’m simply a liar about everything, but this one topic will have to wait for honesty. She doesn’t need to know things aren’t going to be as easy for me as she wishes.
“My lawyer is one of those sharks you hear about, so I’m not worried. Everything will be fine. It’s just going to take some time. But you’re here, and that’s all that matters, so why don’t we move away from the front door of my brother’s apartment and relax. We have hours to spend and catch up together.”
As I guide her to the living room, she looks around at Alex’s place and asks, “Is your brother here?”
I point toward the kitchen and say, “No, he’s at work. Do you want anything to eat or drink? I think he’s got some stuff in the refrigerator. I haven’t exactly been eating much since I got here.”
“No. I’m good. I just want to be with you. I don’t care about anything else,” she says sweetly while she searches out the couch.
Quickly, I grab the blanket I used to sleep with and toss it over on the chair on the other side of the room. “Sorry. I’m basically doing all of my living right here. Not exactly the way I want anyone to see me, especially you.”
When she sits down, she grabs my hand to pull me down next to her. In her eyes, I see the kindness that’s so much of who she is. I’m embarrassed because this isn’t what I want her to think of me, but I don’t have to be. She doesn’t judge people like that.
“I don’t care about where you sleep. All I care about is that I get to be with you, Cash.”
“I know. It’s just that this isn’t anywhere as nice as your house. I don’t want you to think you’re slumming it with me because I’m basically homeless and sleeping on relatives’ couches.”
That makes her frown, and she lifts my hand to her lips to kiss my knuckles. “If you need somewhere to stay, you can come to my house. I don’t care what my lawyer says. When someone you care about needs your help, you give it to them.”
“I’m good here. Honest. My lawyer told me the same thing yours did. He took my phone so I wouldn’t call you. I just couldn’t stay away,” I admit.
Savannah falls silent and looks away down at her hands in her lap. When she doesn’t say anything for a long moment, I whisper, “What? Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’ll understand.”
She hesitates but finally says in a tiny voice, “I think I love you, Cash. I’m sorry. That’s probably the last thing you need now.”
How could she think hearing something so wonderful could ever be a bad thing, no matter when a man would hear it?
Gently, I turn her to face me and look into those soulful dark eyes staring up at me. “To know a woman like you loves me after everything that’s happened? That’s exactly what I need.”
