Magical Midlife Alliance (Leveling Up Book 7), page 4
He grimaced, pulling me close. “A bit, yes.”
“And some things are a little…gaudy.”
“A little, yes.”
“It’s pretty far from the modern era, and it sounds like the new gargoyles won’t look favorably on that. I need to make time for an Ivy House refresh. Maybe even a complete overhaul.”
He nodded in agreement. “So does the town. Patty stopped by the bar earlier today and informed me of that. If we want to attract the gargoyles—”
“And we need to.”
“We have a lot of work to do.”
FOUR
Jessie
Given the carriage had been parked on the front lawn for days, we’d seen it a good few times and admired the gold accents and the sturdy craftsmanship. This cairn had a few production cairns as well, including one who mined gold. The sentiment was apparently along the lines of “transportation fit for a queen,” something very on brand for the gargoyle culture. I just couldn’t help wondering what we were supposed to do with it. I didn’t plan to buy draft horses to pull me around the town. My old Honda was just fine if I ever needed to go anywhere. That thing would run forever.
“Okay, let’s head around back,” Patty said, leading the way.
She took us around the side instead of back through the house, and from the way her head swiveled this way and that, I could tell she was assessing the grounds. Those at least looked good. The front of the house, anyway. Edgar had stayed modest with his designs and flower planting. We just couldn’t allow anyone out back or near a back window to witness the explosion of flowers and the eccentric hedge maze.
A doll waited in the center of the back lawn, facing the wood. More still held their positions as sentinels farther back and to the sides. They walked or stood guard with their instruments of death, waiting for a gnome to show itself.
I really should’ve been thankful for them, but I just couldn’t see my way to it. The little buggers still creeped me out something awful.
Patty didn’t seem to even notice or question the insanity of animated dolls. She marched right on past without a second glance.
“Where’s Hollace to kick these things?” I muttered, following the others.
The closest doll must’ve heard, because it turned and looked at me. An evil grin spread across its babylike face.
“Gross.”
Patty reached the flower line. There was a stone path through the swamp of flowers, but she ignored it and trudged on through.
“Mom, look out,” Ulric said, jogging for the path. “Don’t stomp all over the flowers.”
“It’ll do the yard good. There are far too many of them,” she replied, reaching the other side. “The floral stench is overwhelming.”
“The basajaunak eat them.”
“Then plant them in the woods where they aren’t such an eyesore.” She beelined for the trees.
“We’re all thinking it, like,” Niamh said, trudging along after Patty.
“Don’t you start,” I told her, taking the path. “Edgar will either freak out or ask to be retired. I don’t need the headache.”
“I’m sure he will do both,” said Mr. Tom, the third to trudge through.
I sighed.
“Here we go. Just in the trees here,” Patty said. “Ulric hid them so you’d be surprised.”
I peered through the trunks and into the shadows, looking for those horrible gnomes. If they were there, though, they were hiding.
In a small clearing stood a large wooden sculpture much too chic and modern to belong in these woods. About as tall as the basajaun, it curved and twisted into a shape like a funnel. The piece rested on a marble base.
“It’s a serious piece of art.” Austin ran his hand along the smooth wood, following the contours while walking around it. “They included different kinds of wood to make this. It looks like one solid piece, but it isn’t. That takes incredible craftsmanship.”
“Which cairn is this again?” Nessa asked.
“The Nikken cairn.” Patty pointed at the computer in Nessa’s hands. She’d reclaimed it from Sebastian on the way out here. “At the top of the spreadsheet.”
“Here, Sabby, put out your hands.” Nessa placed the laptop on Sebastian’s outstretched hands before opening it up, using him like a table. “Ah, yeah, got it.”
“The Nikken cairn has a production cairn that specializes in woodworking.” Patty put her hands behind her back. “They have one other—”
“The textile one you mentioned earlier, right?” Nessa pointed at her. “The one where Pierce learned his trade before possibly stealing their secrets and taking off.”
“Good memory! Yes, the very one. I met a woman who knew a woman who’d mated into this cairn. She said all of the townships had nice residences, there was a community feel despite the size, and the streets were clean. She went on and on. Of course, she was from a dingy little cairn with no status, so there’s that. Also, she liked to gloat, that one. Or so I heard. But the cairn is doing well, so…”
“Yeah, I’ve always heard good things,” Ulric said, looking up at the sculpture. “Kind of a weird thing to send as a connection request, though. I’m not really into sculptures.”
“Me either,” Jasper said. “It would make for good firewood.”
Patty turned to head back the way we’d come.
“Wait, Mom,” Ulric said, looking back the other way. “I forgot—there’s that other thing back there, remember? It came yesterday. I completely forgot about it.”
Patty hesitated in confusion before her expression cleared. “Oh yes, right. One of the cairns with middle status, I believe.” She sighed. “Well, we might as well have a look. Just one more after this one, though. We’re almost done.”
“Good.” Nessa paused to wipe her forehead. “I’m actually exhausted from gift opening. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“I’m exhausted by how much work we suddenly have in front of us,” Sebastian replied.
The rest of them walked farther into the trees, but Austin lingered a bit, his gaze tracing the gentle curves of the sculpture.
“Like that, huh?” I said, hanging back with him.
“Yeah. There’s something about it.”
Sebastian, who’d clearly overheard, stopped just beyond a tree and turned back.
“It’s not just beautiful,” Austin said. “I can almost feel the passion and care that went into it. I didn’t get the same sense with the carriage or even that bracelet. This, though…”
He minutely shook his head, walking around it. Sebastian’s gaze bloomed with curiosity as Nessa walked back to him, looking for the computer.
“It was crafted by a master,” Austin went on. “By someone who loves what he or she does. It’s definitely a risky gift, because art is so subjective, but the type of wood negates that.”
I furrowed my brow. “Why is that?”
“Because it is the same wood that is featured so prominently in Ivy House.”
“Whoa,” Nessa said, stopping dead.
Sebastian handed off the computer to her before drifting closer to us. “Come again?”
Austin glanced back at him before pointing out the two different colors and types of wood that had been seamlessly fitted together within the sculpture.
“The archways and fireplaces, the coffered and beam ceilings—this sculpture would match them. It would complement the rooms where different types of wood are used.”
“Are you sure about this?” Sebastian asked, looking hard at the sculpture.
“Yes. I’ve always noticed the craftsmanship in Ivy House. This reflects the best the house has to offer.”
Sebastian stopped on one of Austin’s sides, Nessa on the other, both of them looking at him with wide eyes.
“And this doesn’t trouble you?” Sebastian asked.
Austin glanced over before returning his gaze to the sculpture. “It impresses me, actually.”
“How would they know about the wood used in Ivy House?” I asked, more alarmed by that than the items that had worried the others.
“I’ve come across a few pictures of Ivy House’s interior in my research,” Sebastian said. “But I did extensive research. They weren’t easy to find.”
“We’ve had gargoyles in that house.” Austin tore his eyes away and took a step back, his gaze finding mine. “The ones who didn’t make it on your team either flew home or stayed in town. None of them are expressly loyal to you. Not if an influential cairn comes asking questions, that is.”
“They all have eyes and ears in town,” Sebastian whispered. “I wondered if someone would exploit that obvious advantage.”
“They might not have,” Austin said. “We have no way of knowing.” He paused for a moment. “The cairn could’ve tracked down some of those that returned home. I can’t imagine it would take long for news to travel.”
“If we have time, we should try to track that down.” Nessa opened the laptop and stepped up to Sebastian so he’d hold it again.
“Our to-do list is already really long,” he told her. “Let’s hit the important things first and circle back to this.”
“We’re dealing with gargoyles, at least. They can’t possibly be cleverer and more devious than mages. They don’t steal, they raid. They present themselves in plain view and offer their opponents the advantage of preparing. I don’t think we’ll have to work nearly as hard as we’re used to.”
Austin grabbed my hand and tugged me in the direction of the others. “Just make sure you don’t break any of their societal rules,” he told them. “Don’t insult them or cause Jess to lose their respect.”
“In the words of the great puca…” Nessa straightened up and lifted her chin in mock importance. “Do I look like an amateur?”
We found the others gathered around a stone statue of a naked man with a stone leaf covering his private parts.
“Wasted opportunity,” I murmured.
“Amen, sister,” Nessa replied.
The statue didn’t have nearly enough detail in the face, lacked nipples, and had abs that were strangely off-center. It stood on a rough stone base that didn’t jibe well with the dull gray stone used for the rest of it. Its height barely topped Austin’s, and the body didn’t at all measure up.
“Not…great,” Jasper said, crossing his arms and circling the statue. “It gets worse the longer you look at it.”
“This is a middle-status cairn that is very proud of their production cairn.” Patty’s face creased in confusion, and she squinted into the trees.
I had a moment of alarm, thinking it might be a gnome. Cluing in to my surroundings, though, I quickly realized she must be reacting to Dave, who’d gotten very close to us, his companions in tow. He was clearly having a little fun with Patty.
“They work stone, obviously,” Patty went on. “I’d always heard that…” She frowned, now staring at a small branch that was gently waving despite the lack of wind.
Jasper grinned and looked away to hide his expression.
“What’s up, Mom?” Ulric asked into the silence, his expression patient but his eyes glittering with humor.
Patty lightly shook her head and pulled her focus back to the statue. “Nothing. Where was I…”
“You’d always heard…something,” he helped.
“Ah yes. Yes, I’d always heard they were quite good with stone, actually. If they could just get a better group of guardians, their cairn would easily elevate in status. This statue doesn’t support those rumors, though.”
The branch wiggled again. Patty snapped her head that way. After staring for a moment, her brow furrowed, she wet her finger and held it up, probably checking for a breeze.
When she felt nothing, she swept the ground with her gaze, probably looking for gnomes, and then shrugged.
“Okay,” she said. “One more and we’re—”
Dave burst out of the trees. His giant arms were held aloft, and his massive jaw exposed large, jagged teeth. He roared, all his hair puffing out to make a nine-foot-high and robust creature look that much bigger.
Patty screamed, her whole body jolting. Dave slowed his advance, his expression softening with humor, which quickly turned to surprise. Her scream turned into a snarl of rage, and she launched forward, hands out like claws. She barreled into his stomach, not at all daunted by his size.
Dave made a sound like ha-oooah as he tried to back-pedal. Her weight wasn’t much compared to his, but such a solid hit was plenty to knock him off balance. He tripped over his own feet and tumbled to the ground. She rode him down with fists flying. His back had barely touched dirt before she was up again, standing over him, kicking his midsection.
Loud laughter erupted from the trees, and the two other basajaunak showed themselves, bent over and guffawing.
“Mom!” Ulric lurched toward her, laughing. “Mom, stop! It was a joke. Stop kicking him!”
“That was…excellent,” Nessa said, watching with a delighted smile. “I will remember that scene for the rest of my days.”
Patty gave one more mighty swing of her foot before she stopped, looking down at him.
“Oh. You must be the basajaun,” she said, all friendliness now. “I’ve heard so much about you! It’s nice to finally meet you. Here we go.” She reached down for him, and he flinched away. The other basajaunak laughed harder. “Oops. You’re okay now. You can get up. You just startled me, is all. You’ll be okay. Just walk it off.”
“What manner of creature are you?” Dave asked, avoiding her continued reach.
“She’s a garhette,” I said, walking forward. “A female gargoyle that doesn’t shift. And who have you brought? I recognize one of you, of course. Welcome, Her. Treat these woods as your own. Let me know if you need anything.”
The basandere I’d met in Dave’s lands stepped forward, still chuckling. “Hello again. Thank you for having me. I am very excited to start this new journey. Your wood is very lovely. More than a wood, though, right? It has a presence within it.”
“Oh…” Dave had never mentioned that, but I guessed it had to be true, since it was connected to the house. “Yes, Ivy House is magically connected to these lands. Or did you mean the gnomes?”
“Not the gnomes. Funny little creatures, those. One cleaved my foot, so I stomped on it. But the other, yes, I feel it. The living things are a little confused about it. That is why the wood is not quite settled. I can work them around, though, do not worry. They are eager for harmony.”
“She is very good at managing a forest,” Dave said. “I cannot feel all that she does. She has a real gift.” He turned to the basajaun I didn’t know. “He was intrigued by your visit to our lands. He expressed an interest to stay on my mountain and check things out.”
The new basajaun stepped forward, a hair taller than Dave and just a bit sturdier.
“Greetings,” he said, and bowed to me. “I request admittance into your territory. Forgive me for not seeking it earlier, but Bul—Dave said you were busy and that we could wander through the wood until you were finished with your meeting.”
“Perfect timing, yes.” I offered him a small bow. “Welcome.”
“In exchange for my admittance, I will help Dave protect these lands,” he continued, and it occurred to me that I should’ve initiated the trade. That was how these creatures worked, which could be a bit tedious when you didn’t feel like bartering. Thankfully, this basajaun was doing it for me.
“That sounds good,” I told him, then repeated, “Welcome.”
Stepping around me, he stood in front of Austin. “Alpha,” he said, lowering his head. “I wish to make a similar trade. I know that your territory is vast, and also that you have non-magical humans within it. I understand the perils of showing myself to such humans and will be careful.”
Austin nodded his acceptance.
Finally the basajaun turned to Niamh. “I want that rematch. I will soon start making the special brew.”
Ah. So this was the basajaun who’d wrestled drunk Niamh through a fire. Promising a rematch was as good a way as any to get him here.
“Use my back garden for making it if ye want,” she said with a shrug. “It’ll keep the human hikers from discovering it on the mountain and drinking it all up, thinking it’s moonshine. In exchange, I’ll want an equal share in what ye make.”
The basajaun’s face split into a smile. “Good trade.”
“Yes, those hikers can be very curious,” Dave said, looking off in the direction of his territory. “They would probably do as she says and end up poisoning themselves. I do not need a bunch of dead humans littered around my camp.”
“Great. Let’s get to that last connection request, shall we?” I lifted my eyebrows at Patty.
“Good idea!” Patty turned and swished through us all, headed back toward the house.
“You know,” I said to Austin as we followed the others, “you can have that sculpture if you want. If you can find a use for it.”
“It wouldn’t work in my place. It needs to be kept inside, and my ceilings and space can’t handle a piece that big. It was made for Ivy House. The size, the wood…”
“So I have to find a place to put it?”
He laughed. “Only if you want to. Isn’t that how these things work? You keep what you want and get rid of the rest?”
“Well, since you can’t make use of the wood sculpture you like so much, you can have that statue. You’re welcome.”
He laughed softly. “You’re so giving. How did I get this lucky?”
“I know, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll let you make it up to me.”
He hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me in closer. I bumped against him as we walked. “Before I make it up to you, which will take some time because I’ve missed you these last couple of days”—heat flash-boiled my blood, and I leaned a little harder into him—“maybe we can talk about a direction for Ivy House’s refresh.”
I sighed, and the heat quickly cooled. “Yeah, we probably should, and thank you for the help. I have terrible taste, and when I asked Mr. Tom for help with the office, because he’s always harping on to me about making it mine, he came up with the strangest stuff.”
