Personal - The Complete Series, page 53
“Has Rick noticed anything?” he asked.
Ed thought about it for a moment. “If he ’as, he’s not said anythin’.” Then he grinned. “But then we’re back to that ’ole I’ve ’ad me mind on other things situation again.”
Colin chuckled and then folded his arms. “You said two things. What’s the second?”
Ed brought his hand to rest on Colin’s chest, stroking it. “Ah, that’s a bit more…personal. I’m workin’ up me courage for somethin’.” Colin tilted his head to peer intently at him and Ed sighed. “I’m plannin’ on seein’ me mum this weekend. There’s somethin’ I ’ave to tell ’er.”
Colin scrambled to an upright position in seconds. He knelt on the sofa beside Ed, gaze fixed on his face. “Yes?” he asked.
Ed gave a lovely, gentle smile. “Well, I figured it was about time she knew about the man in me life.” He swallowed.
Colin drew in a long, slow breath. “God, Ed.” His heart soared.
They regarded each other in silence for a moment, and then Ed did something very un-Ed-like. He stroked Colin’s cheek, fingers moving over the cheekbones and into his hair.
“Let’s go to bed.”
“Yes.” Colin’s voice came out more gravelly than he’d intended.
“But…can I ’old you for a while? I mean, yeah, we can ’ave sex, but…” There was something in those green eyes, a look of need Colin hadn’t seen there before. “Jus’ wanna ’old ya.”
Colin got to his feet and held out his hand. “I’d like that,” he said quietly.
Ed rose up and Colin led him into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. All Ed’s concerns and fears could stay outside his bedroom door for one night.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Ed stowed the Harley in the garage and locked it. He walked slowly to the back door. He knew Mum was home—he’d made sure of that before he left Colin’s place. He paused at the door. Colin’s last words were still in his head.
“She loves you, yeah? Then she’s going to be okay about this. All right, it might be a shock at first, but she’ll come round. And that’s my opinion, based only on what you’ve told me about her. So have faith, baby.”
Ed smiled to himself, despite his misgivings.
I am gonna cure ’im of usin’ that word if it’s the last thing I do.
The strange thing was, he was starting to like it.
He pushed open the door and entered the small kitchen. Mum was at the sink, washing up a few dishes. She spun around and her face lit up.
“What you doin’ ’ere on a Saturday?” Her eyes twinkled. “An’ didn’t I just speak to you on the phone?” She wiped her hands on a tea towel and held her arms out. “Come ’ere, you. Got an’ ’ug for your ol’ mum?”
He smiled as he stepped up to her, wrapped his arms tight around her and hoisted her into the air, hugging her. Mum laughed and hit his shoulder. “Put me down, you soft git.”
Ed let her gently down to the floor, all five feet nothing of her.
She stared up at him and rubbed a hand across his bearded cheek. “God, you get more ‘n’ more like yer Dad every day.” He didn’t miss the touch of sadness in her glance. Mum smoothed down her skirt and blouse, and then went to put on the kettle. “I take it you want a coffee?”
“That’d be great, Mum.” Ed pulled out a chair and sat down at the wooden kitchen table that had seen so much over the years. The kitchen was where the family went to discuss important stuff over a cuppa, though never all of them at the same time. The small room couldn’t hold everyone.
Mum glanced over her shoulder at him. “Oh, like that, is it?” His choice of location obviously wasn’t lost on her. She turned back to her task. “Well, I figured it ’ad to be somethin’ important to bring you over ’ere on a Saturday. No match today?” Ed listened to the noises of teaspoons in cups, jars being unscrewed, without really hearing them.
“Nah, not today. No practice either.” Which had meant a leisurely morning in bed—that had become very un-leisurely when Colin had rolled onto his belly and presented Ed with his already lubed-up hole. Ed tried to suppress the shudder that ran through him at the memory of fucking his lover until both were hoarse from yelling out their pleasure at each other.
Talk about distractin’….
Mum placed a mug of instant coffee on the table in front of him and then sat opposite, tea in hand. She propped her elbows on the table and sipped her drink.
Ed studied her for a moment. Mum had always been a tough old bird. His Dad had once joked that she was never ill because no germ would have the nerve to invade that body. And there was his famous line that when the bomb went off, all that would survive would be the cockroaches and Mum.
Right now Mum looked tired. Like, really tired.
“You okay, Mum?” Ed couldn’t help it, not that he expected her to reply. No one in the Fellows family ever whined about their health.
She arched his eyebrows at the question.
Ed shrugged. “You just seemed, I don’t know, not yerself.”
There was a moment’s hesitation before she replied. “Nah, I’m fine.” She looked closely at him. “Okay, out with it.” She smirked.
God, the woman knows me way too well.
He drew in a deep breath. “Okay…”
Mum lost the smirk. A frown creased her forehead. “Oh God, this is bad, innit? You’ve not lost yer job, have yer?”
Ed shook his head. “Nah, nothin’ like that, promise.”
She sagged into her chair with a barely concealed air of relief. “All right, if it’s not yer job, then what is it?”
Fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be.
“Mum,” he began, eyes on his mug. “I’ve…I’ve met someone.”
It was as if all sound in the kitchen had been sucked into a black hole.
He looked up sharply. Mum was beaming. In fact, she looked radiant.
“Oh Ed.” Her voice was soft, and Ed’s chest constricted at the love held there. “You’re me oldest, so I worry ’bout you more than the others, I suppose, but I was startin’ ta think you were gonna wind up on yer own, love.”
Oh fuck.
He reached across the table to take her wrinkled hand in his. “The thing is…” He swallowed.
“What’s ’er name?” Mum asked, her face still wreathed in a huge smile. She patted his hand fondly.
Ed straightened, Mum’s small hand buried in his huge one. He met her gaze head-on. “Colin.”
The black hole was back.
She cocked her head, skin crinkling around her eyes as she stared at him. Her hand came up to touch the base of her neck. Her eyebrows squished together. “I…I don’t understand.”
Ed sighed. He summoned up all his courage to say the words he’d not yet uttered to a soul. “I’m gay.”
Mum pulled her hand free. She blinked, lowered her gaze to the table, then back up to his face. “Gay?”
“Well, gay, bi—the wordin’ don’t matter, Mum. The important part is that I’m with a guy, an’ he makes me ’appy.” He searched her face.
Mum picked up her mug and took a long drink from it. She studied the contents for a moment. With every second that passed, the lump in Ed’s belly grew bigger, until it felt like there was a bowling ball in there.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said at last. “I mean, you’ve ’ad girlfriends—not that I ever met any of ’em, mind you, but I knew there were some lurkin’ around somewhere.” Her eyes narrowed. “You sure this is nothin’ to do with that boss of yours? ’Cause I know he’s gay, yeah?”
Ed had to smile at that. “Yeah, I’m sure. An’ it’s not like I ’aven’t done things with a bloke before, Mum.” He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat when her eyes widened. “It was a long time ago, but yeah, this isn’t a new thing.” He took a slurp of coffee. “An’ you’re right, there ’ave been girlfriends, an’ the reason I’ve never brought any of ’em to meet ya is that they weren’t important enough.”
“And this Colin is?” she asked, head jerking up.
That gave him pause. “Yeah,” he said with a slow nod. “Yeah, he is.”
She nodded, as if it made perfect sense. Then she sighed.
“I think I’d like to be on me own right now, if you don’t mind.”
Shit. He gazed at her, heart racing. “Mum?”
She attempted a smile. “It’s just a lot to get me ’ead round, to be honest.” She got up and walked around to his side of the table. Her hand came out as if to touch him, but then she drew it back. “I just need a bit of time, all right?”
Ed tried to push down the panic that rose up his throat and made it difficult to breathe. Something must have shown in his face, because she cupped his cheek. “It’ll be okay. Just let me deal with it in me own way, me own time, yeah?”
Ed nodded. “Yeah.” The words came out as a croak. He stood up and grabbed his helmet from where he’d left it near the back door. A thought occurred to him. “Is Debs around?”
“She’s gone shoppin’ with ’er mates. She ’ad an interview yesterday, and it was a big deal, so she’s lettin’ off a little steam.” She crooked her eyebrows. “I’ll be fine, okay? You just leave me to it, yeah?”
Ed let out his tension in a shuddering long, drawn-out breath. “Yeah, okay.” He walked to the door and paused. He turned to see her standing by the sink, looking out over the tiny back garden. “Bye, Mum.”
She turned her head. There was that half-smile again. “Bye, son.”
He walked out of the house and over to the garage to get the Harley, his head in a whirl.
God, I ’ope you’re right, Col.
Monday’s team meeting was nearly over when Rick piped up.
“Er, if I can just have everyone’s attention for a sec?”
All eyes turned to look at him, including Sam’s.
She stiffened. “I’m not sure we have time right now. We still have to go through—”
“I’m sure we ’ave time to ’ear whatever Rick ’as to say,” Ed interjected, staring hard at her before cocking his head toward Blake. “Right, Boss?” He levelled a firm look in Blake’s direction.
Blake smiled. “Of course we do. Besides, an agenda should be written on an Etch-a-Sketch, not in stone.” He glanced at Sam and turned that smile of his up to full wattage. “Don’t you think?”
Ed watched as several emotions played across Sam’s face. He wondered with amusement which one would win.
She gave Blake a warm smile. “Of course.” Then she turned to Rick. “Please, do go on.”
Blake gave Ed a look that could only be interpreted as I told you so.
Ed wasn’t convinced, but he pushed his doubts from his mind and turned his attention to Rick.
“Well, I know this is short notice, but Angelo and I would like to invite you to our flat for a party on Saturday night. You’re all invited, and please feel free to bring husbands, wives, partners…” Ed didn’t miss the quick flick of Rick’s eyes toward him at that point. “We’ve been waiting until Blake had settled back into work. The party is to celebrate Sophie’s birth, and also a belated birthday party for Will, ’cause things got a little hairy back in June, what with them rushing off to the hospital and everything.”
“It’s not another themed party, is it?” Beth asked with a groan.
Rick chuckled. “No. Not that our last themed party wasn’t great—Will’s totally awesome Doctor Who party—but this will be your plain, come-casual, bring-a-bottle party.”
Murmuring broke out among the team. Ed smiled. This lot loved any chance of a knees-up.
“Hey, are you going to bring your new lady friend, Ed?” Peter called out above the chatter.
Ed froze. Oh fuck…. Then he thought about it. What ’ave I got to be scared of? Next to me rugby team mates, this lot are a bunch of pussy-cats. And maybe it was time to stop living a lie at work.
“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do,” he said after a moment.
Beth giggled gleefully. “Oh, roll on Saturday. It’s going to be a fantastic party, I just know it.”
Ed looked up to find both Rick and Blake regarding him with amusement.
Oh, you ’ave no idea.
Ed climbed out of the taxi and waited for Colin to emerge after him. He had a serious case of rampaging butterflies. By the time Colin had paid the cabbie, shut the door of the taxi and turned to face him, Ed was already breathing deeply.
Colin edged closer to him. “Easy now. It’s going to be fine. You can do this. You’ve already done this, remember—twice. Third time has to be the easiest.” He leaned forward and kissed Ed lightly on the lips.
Ed sighed. “Do that again. I need it.”
Colin smiled. “With pleasure.” He kissed him once more, this time lingering a little longer, his lips warm and soft against Ed’s. Then he pulled back and regarded Ed intently. “Ready?”
Ed tightened his grip on the neck of the bottle of wine they’d brought and nodded. “Ready.”
They walked to the door of Angelo’s studio. Above them Ed could already hear music and animated voices. “Remind me again why we’re arrivin’ so late?”
Colin chuckled. “All the guests should be there by now. So when we walk in, everyone will see us. Get the shock over and done with in one fell swoop.” He grinned. “Shall we?” He raised his hand and rang the doorbell. Ed breathed evenly. He knew why he felt so bloody nervous. He saw these people five days a week. They weren’t just his colleagues—these were his friends—and he had no idea how they were going to react to such a change.
Rick opened the door and grinned. “Wanted to make an entrance, huh?” He stepped aside to let them in. “It’s great to see you again, Colin.”
Colin smiled. “You too. And thanks for inviting me.”
Rick chuckled. “Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Everyone’s here, and Sam is already pissed.” He shook his head. “That woman can’t hold her booze.” He led the way across the studio and up the staircase. At the top of the stairs he paused. “You guys ready?”
“Hang on a sec,” Colin said quickly. He reached down and took Ed’s hand. Raising it to his lips, he kissed Ed’s fingers. The sweetness of the gesture filled Ed with warmth. Colin lowered their hands and tightened his grip around it. “Now we’re ready.”
Rick nodded in approval and pushed open the door to the apartment. “Hey, look who finally got here!” he called out as they entered.
Ed stepped into the apartment, Colin beside him and came face to face with all his colleagues, plus Will, Dave and Lizzie, Rick’s family and Angelo’s sister Maria. Everyone had turned to greet him. He could see the puzzled glances when they spotted Colin—and then watched as they looked down to where Colin held his hand.
Ed lifted his chin high. “Hi everyone. This is Colin.”
Just then the music came to an end and the room fell into silence. Ed’s heart hammered. He stopped counting how many jaws had dropped.
And then Beth’s face broke into a huge grin. “You sneaky little bugger.”
Ed went weak at the knees with relief. Oh, thank fuck….
It seemed as though Beth’s words were the catalyst. Will came forward, hand outstretched.
“Pleased to meet you again, Colin.”
Ed recovered quickly and nudged Colin. “’ere’s yer chance…babe.” He smirked.
Colin gave him a look that told Ed in no uncertain terms he’d be in for it when they got back to Colin’s apartment. Then Colin grasped Will’s hand and shook it firmly. “I am so happy to meet you. I know you must hear this a lot, but I’m a huge fan.” Will smiled broadly at him.
Then Dave and Lizzie approached them, smiling. “Didn’t we meet you at the hospital?” they asked Colin.
Colin smiled. “That’s right.” He cast a glance in Ed’s direction. “That was actually an important night for us, wasn’t it, Ed?” His eyes sparkled. Colin was enjoying this—the sod.
Ed coughed. Rick caught his eye and pushed his tongue firmly into his cheek.
That little bastard….
Colin caught this, and Ed was convinced his lover was about to cough up a lung, he was laughing so hard. It seemed as if no one even batted an eyelid at the sight of Ed holding hands with a bloke. Well, almost no one—Sam didn’t seem particularly enamoured. But then again, she hadn’t known Ed as long as the others.
“So it’s official?” Peter said with a grin. “You two are a couple?”
Ed reached for Colin’s hand and raised it to his lips. He kissed it softly. “Yeah, we are.”
Colin’s eyes shone. He simply beamed at Ed.
Blake’s face glowed with pride. “Congratulations, both of you.”
And then everyone was saying it.
Ed’s throat tightened as his colleagues surrounded them, glasses raised in the air as they joined in. Colin shook hands with every one of them.
Rick appeared at Ed’s side. “Well done, mate. You’ve got a good one there.”
Ed regarded his lover and smiled. “Don’t I know it.”
Colin glanced over at him, as though he’d heard Ed’s words. His face was alight.
Somewhere inside Ed, warmth spread out, filling every little part of him, bringing something else with it—realization. For the first time in his life, Ed found himself on a completely unknown road.
He’d fallen for someone. And he couldn’t wait to see where the road led next.
“So where’s this baby of yours tonight?” Sam asked Will, swaying slightly. She seemed to have difficulty focusing on him.
Will gave her a polite smile, but Ed knew better. His former colleague was irritated. “She’s with a babysitter.”
“S’not right, y’know, two guys ’dopting a kid. Not when there are plenty of normal couples out there who are dying to get on the adoption bandwagon.”
Oh fucking ’ell.
Seeing as this party was for Will and Blake, there was no way Ed was going to let the Pitbull wade in and get Will all riled up. Not while Ed was breathing, anyway.
Ed got close enough to be nearly flattened by the alcoholic fumes that rolled off Sam in waves.
