House of Curses, page 14
“Don’t you think so?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
She’d only agreed to walking the May Day celebrations with him because she’d always loved the holiday. At Geivhrea, she and Fordham had been crowned for the night. She had no intention of doing that with March.
“Are you ready for your upcoming name day?” he asked, continuing around the Square. He offered Kerrigan a chocolate, which she accepted, popping it into her mouth so she didn’t have to answer. Anyway, March could carry on a whole conversation on his own. “I am most looking forward to it. I have had responses to three-quarters of the invitation for the election event. Everyone who is anyone is going to be there.”
Kerrigan didn’t want to be there. She didn’t want to have to wine and dine a group of people who likely would rather see anyone but a half-Fae on the council, but she would do it. She had to do it. Even if it was March’s goodwill that had gotten her the party.
As soon as she could get out of the festivities, she disappeared back to the mountain and up to the aerie. Most of the dragons were absent, out celebrating how they saw fit. It was a time for fertility, as March had told her more than once. Though thankfully, he hadn’t pushed for anything further with her—at least, not in public. She had a feeling he was going to want something for all of this work for the election. She didn’t think he was going to particularly like what he was going to get from her.
Shouldn’t you be out below? Tieran asked when she found him curled up in the aerie.
“Shouldn’t you?”
He snorted, blasting her with air and closing his gold-slitted eyes. I probably should. I am missing Risa today.
Kerrigan sank to her feet and leaned back against him. Risa had been Tieran’s mate. They had been together for years when she was killed with her dragon rider. Kerrigan couldn’t imagine the extent of his pain, knowing she was gone.
“I’m so sorry. I miss Fordham today too.”
Yes, he is yours as she was mine.
Kerrigan nodded. Not mated. Not in the dragon sense. But she could almost feel like if she stretched out enough, she could sense him out there in the north, waiting for her. It was ridiculous. Even a mated pair couldn’t feel another across an entire continent. Nothing could stretch that far.
Risa was beautiful. Her blood-red scales shimmered in the sunlight and the moonlight. She soared with the wind currents, as if they called to her. We would have had hatchlings in a few years.
She had no words for the death of that union. She pressed herself against him and sat with his ache.
After a few minutes, he nudged her. Are you ready for your next spiritcasting lesson?
“Are you?” she shot back. “You’re coming with me.”
I was born ready.
She rolled her eyes, but it was good to hear the bravado back in his voice. He needed that. They stayed curled up like that until dinner forced them apart.
She spent the next two days busy with work, anxious to talk to Cleora about what had happened with Fordham.
When the time finally came, she and Tieran flew back to their secure mountain spot. She sank into a safe position, reached for Tieran across the new crux bond she had wrapped around them on the flight back from Draíocht, and pulled them both into the spirit plane.
This time, when she landed among the clouds, she was on Tieran’s back. She laughed and sprawled backward. Lying atop his back in the clouds was how her life was supposed to be. She’d felt so grounded with everything happening in the Society. She’d forgotten how good it was to fly. Nowhere to get to and nothing to do.
Eventually, she gave up the one perfect moment and she angled him down toward the ground. They landed in the same place she had met Cleora previously. Cleora was already seated at a table and chairs when Kerrigan dismounted.
Cleora slowly rose to her feet and took one small step backward. Her head was high. If not for that tiny step, neither of them would have known that she was terrified. But she was clearly afraid of having Tieran in the spirit plane with her. No matter Kerrigan’s reassurances, Cleora still saw a mindless beast who would kill her at the first chance.
Of course, Tieran was nothing of the sort. He had a mind of his own, and though he could easily rip her limb from limb, that wasn’t his purpose.
“Cleora,” Kerrigan said with a easy smile. “Thank you for meeting me again. I would like to introduce you to my dragon, Tieran. Tieran, this is Cleora.”
Tieran spoke into both of their minds. Good evening, Cleora. I have heard a great many things about you.
Cleora jumped, her eyes flying wide with alarm. “Did you hear that?”
Kerrigan laughed. “Yes. Dragons have mind-speak.”
“How?” she gasped.
Tieran inclined his head. It is our way.
“Fascinating.”
“He won’t hurt you,” Kerrigan assured her.
“Do you have the crux bond in place?”
“I do.” Cleora relaxed at that, but Kerrigan continued, “However, I modified it.”
“Modified it?”
“Yes. You taught me that I could make what I wanted as long as I shaped it with my intention. So, I decided that instead of having a leash where I was in control, I would create a two-way bond.”
Cleora paled further. Her skin nearly blended in with the white-blonde of her hair and the white of her clothing. “That is … ill-advised.”
“Just meet him first before you decide.”
I will not bite, Tieran said and then showed his teeth unhelpfully.
Kerrigan couldn’t help her laugh. “You’re an ass.”
That is why we get along.
“I thought that was out of necessity.”
That too, he agreed.
“He has a real personality,” Cleora said, following Kerrigan’s lead and slowly crossing the distance toward Tieran. Her hand was shaking as she bravely reached forward to touch his snout.
I have a spectacular personality, Tieran said in mind-speak.
Cleora jumped in surprise, but Tieran just eased forward, putting his snout in her grasp. She cried out but gently stroked the scales. “I cannot believe I am doing this. I have never been this close to a beast without an incredibly strong crux bond.”
“Do you think they’re a different sort of animals than you have where you’re from? Our dragons are nothing like how you describe them.”
“They must be,” she said softly. “Also, he is smaller than our dragons. They are as big as houses.”
Some are, Tieran agreed. Most of the giants died out during the Great War. We have been breeding smaller as of late. Either way, I am small for my kind.
“Fascinating,” Cleora said. “And you allow her as a rider?”
She is mine.
Kerrigan’s heart bloomed at those words. It had taken so long for them to overcome their differences. Something that simple made her feel complete.
“He also has control over the spirit plane,” Kerrigan informed her.
“Does he … do you,” she corrected herself, addressing Tieran, “have other abilities? Dreamwalking, visions, illusions, energy? That sort of thing.”
He shook his head. I have never known a dragon with those abilities. Just Kerrigan.
“Well then, we will continue with our training. I wish we had more time,” Cleora said with a sigh. “I would love to learn all there is to know about your dragons. I could write an entire dissertation on the differences. But alas, we are here for you, not me. How did your training go over the last cycle?”
Kerrigan bit her lip. “Excellent.”
She gestured to the table, and they sat. “Tell me about it.”
“I managed to pull someone into a dream and carry on an entire conversation with them.”
Cleora froze, momentarily shocked. “Explain how this happened.”
Kerrigan wasn’t sure exactly what to say. How could she explain that she had drowned and that was how she had gotten sufficient magic to call Fordham? She settled with a base explanation. Cleora’s eyes got wider and wider as she explained.
“My dear, should I be concerned about your safety? I feel as if you only told me half of what happened, and it sounded like … a ritualistic sacrifice.”
Kerrigan flushed. Well, she wasn’t wrong.
“No, it was a healing pool. When I was dunked under, my magic opened, and I was able to access it fully.”
“That level of magic shouldn’t be within your grasp just from a healing pool. It must have been part of the ritual.” Cleora shook her head. “Well, it sounds outrageous to me, but I will try not to judge your unusual … customs.”
She wasn’t exactly doing a good job of it.
“You were able to perform dreamwalking, which is all that matters. Even without the ritual, it should be easier to do it again since you have done it once before. For now, we should move on to visions.”
Kerrigan heaved a sigh of relief. She’d thought that Cleora would want to keep working on it. Kerrigan felt more and more like she was running out of time.
“Visions are sort of middle of the road for the five tenets. Now, that isn’t because they are more dangerous than dreamwalking—they’re not,” she said calmly, getting into her element. “Dreamwalking is more dangerous in many ways to your physical form, but visions are problematic for your mental capacity.”
“I understand that. I’ve had visions.”
“Then, you understand their danger.”
“Sort of,” she admitted.
“Have you ever had a vision that was positive?”
Kerrigan thought about it. Most of them had put her in life-threatening situations. But if she hadn’t followed the vision, she wouldn’t be where she was right now. She wouldn’t have gotten Tieran or joined the Society or had Fordham.
“Well, no, but …”
“Exactly. Visions are almost always harmful. They’re not going to show you a happy moment in the future. It doesn’t work like that. If you’re able to push your mental state into the future, it is going to cling on to the thing that is most important. Something that could alter history.”
“Oh,” Kerrigan said, seeing how her visions had shaped her history. “That sounds right.”
“It is,” she said cheerily. “So, they’re not dangerous, but they are problematic. Especially if you don’t know how to handle what you see. More often than not, they are all jumbled. They’re not a clear line of thought. Sometimes, they feel like dreams, jumping from one point to the next.”
Kerrigan nodded. “Yes. I’ve seen that in the past.”
“The problem with that is that people think they know what the visions means. They believe that they can interpret prophecy, but it’s rarely what you think it is. Chasing after prophetic visions rarely helps anyone, and usually, it hurts them.”
She flushed. Well, if that wasn’t the truth. “Then, why do people get visions? Why even have this as a tenet?”
“Sometimes you need to know the future. Any glimpse into it to help you judge the present. It’s not always easy, but great minds can sometimes put together a list of possibilities, and then we can all work together to mitigate the potential fallout. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.”
“I see.”
“Since you’ve already had some experience with visions, we’ll do a very short tutorial. I don’t think this is something that you should be doing on your own at all. There’s no way for you to interpret them alone.”
“Yeah. I sort of made a best guess at what I thought was happening.”
“Exactly. Guesswork is not that beneficial, long-term. We need precision.”
“So, how does it work?”
Cleora rearranged the spirit plane. The table and chairs disappeared. A moment later, they were seated in a wide circle of lit candles. This felt like what Kerrigan had done with Zina when she first learned how to enter the spirit plane.
“The circle is a barrier against unwanted influences. It is also a way to keep your thoughts in. We want to ensure both to call forward a vision.” Cleora cleared her throat. “I’ve only done this successfully a handful of times, when the emperor demanded it of me. It was completely draining. So, you want first to have a full well of magic present and possibly other magical users nearby to supply you with more magic. Burning yourself out would do you no good.”
Kerrigan gulped. Welp. That was what had happened to her almost every time she had a vision. Her magic had banked and then extinguished like a light until she passed out.
“With the spirit plane, you push your spirit out of your body. With dreamwalking, you push your spirit into another or pull a spirit into your own. But here, you are going to try to cast beyond our time. It’s a throw, as if you were fishing. Do you understand?”
“I think so?”
“Gather your spirit close to you and then focus your intention. It might not work, but if you want to learn about a specific future, then you need to think about it. Then, once your intention is on the future, cast forward and let the vision take you.”
Kerrigan did as instructed, feeling the well of magic inside of her. She couldn’t see or use it on the plane, but it was there. Then, she thought intensely on her wedding. Was what she had dreamed a real vision? She had to know.
She cast the spirit forward and waited.
She opened her eyes and looked at Cleora. “It didn’t work.”
Cleora laughed. “Well, no. Of course not. It doesn’t work on the plane. You have to be in a physical body to access the magic for it, but did you feel the cast?”
“Yes,” she said, disappointed. “I was hoping to try it.”
“You should practice it, but not tonight. At midnight on the next full moon will be the best time.”
“But that is when we will meet.”
“I will be running late. I have to attend to the emperor’s daughter for a special session of the patricians. Meet me after you finish your casting.”
Kerrigan had no idea what any of that meant, but it sounded important. “Okay. Is there a reason I can’t do it tomorrow night?”
“You can do it whenever you like. However, liminal times are always most advantageous. I don’t want you to burn yourself out. Take every precaution. It should not be attempted frequently, or it can drain your magic and eventually cause illness.”
Kerrigan guffawed. “Well, that explains a lot.”
Cleora nodded, her gaze shifting back to Tieran. “Will you look after her while she’s casting?”
Of course. It is my duty to keep her from her own stupidity.
Kerrigan glared. Cleora laughed.
“Well, I like him.”
“I thought you might.”
“Next month then,” Cleora said. “I look forward to hearing about another success story. Until next time, Tieran.”
And then she winked out of existence.
Tieran glanced at her, and then Kerrigan pulled them out of the spirit world. She wanted nothing more than to be able to cast her vision right then and there. But everything was wrong. She had no candles, it was bad timing, and there was no one around to help her if she burned through her magic. She hated that she had to wait when all she wanted was to see if her wedding was actually going to happen. Could she wait another month?
You look as if you’re going to do something stupid, Tieran observed.
Kerrigan sighed. “I want to cast now.”
Cleora advised against that.
“I know, but all my other visions happened whenever they wanted.”
And you nearly died multiple times. Promise me you won’t do this until the next full moon, where we can do it safely together.
She huffed but knew Cleora’s safety precautions were right. She’d almost been hurt in Fordham’s dreams when she ignored Cleora’s previous warnings. She shouldn’t do it again. No matter how much she wanted to.
“All right. Next full moon.”
22
The Name Day
Audria twirled in place in a pale pink dress. It flowed out around her, and she giggled. “This is perfection.”
“You look like a dream,” Kerrigan agreed.
She wished that she could wear any sort of dress that she wanted. A flowy pink dress or a sexy black dress or a devastating red dress. But no. Tonight was her official name day party, and she had to look the part. She had to show up in Bryonican navy—a color she was seriously starting to hate.
“Are you going to put your dress on?” Audria asked.
She trailed her hand down the front of the purple bag that Parris had sent that morning with a happy name day tag attached to it and a bouquet of sunflowers.
“Of course. Just … can’t believe I’m eighteen.”
Even though she’d already turned eighteen. It was easier than discussing the mix of feelings rolling through her. Plus, she was still groggy from the night prior.
“How are you still so chipper after being out all last night?”
Audria grinned. “Benefits of being in the healing program. Are you still hungover? I could make you a tonic.” She pursed her lips. “Or better yet, I can steal you one. Mine really aren’t that great.”
Kerrigan declined. She wasn’t hungover. She’d barely had anything to drink. Her exhaustion was purely due to being on March’s arm all night. Last night, March had thrown a party for her election nomination. She had tried to convince herself any which way to avoid the party, but she couldn’t see a real reason. She needed the votes. She needed his influence. She needed to be on that council.
Though the party was endless hours of introductions with stuffy Society nobility, the whole thing grated on her nerves. She’d had to stuff Kerrigan deep down inside of her. The person who wanted to make snide remarks and roll her eyes at the insipid conversations. The person who wanted to end debates with a fight. The rash girl who would rather speak plainly than talk in circles until her head ached to understand everyone’s motivations.
