Hold On to Me, page 18
He flexed his fists at his sides, but remained silent. Anything he said now would come out sounding like a jealous boyfriend. Besides, Jade was a big girl, and he trusted that she could handle herself. He just didn’t like that she’d had to.
“As I was saying,” Jade continued, “Livie had my phone, and when your texts popped up on the screen, she was a little shocked.”
Cash smiled and reached up to grip the two ends of the towel with one hand. “Why is that? Do you have me listed under Hot Shower Sex?”
Jade swiped stray, damp hairs from her forehead and laughed. “Not hardly, stud. Obviously I have your name or she wouldn’t have known it was you. But she did see the icing comment.”
Oh, that was a good one. In fact, he’d already ordered a chocolate cake and had it in his kitchen. He could cook, but he drew the line at trying to bake. He really should’ve asked for extra icing . . .
“Would you get that shitty grin off your face?” she scolded. “I’m being serious.”
“Oh, I was serious about the icing.”
Jade swatted his arm but continued to smile. “Do you even care what I said to Livie?”
Cash shrugged. “I trust you handled the situation however you thought best.”
Her green eyes narrowed. “You’re really that trusting?”
“Not normally,” he countered. “But I trust you.”
Jade stared at him another minute, pursed her lips, and then muttered something and walked out of the room. Confused, Cash followed.
The cool blast of air hit him hard as he stepped into the hallway. Before he could take another step, Jade whirled around on him.
“I can’t believe you’re that easy,” she declared. “I jumped all over you the other night and you just . . . just . . .”
Cash crossed his arms over his chest and glanced down the hall to make sure they were still alone. He took a step closer and stared into her disbelieving eyes.
“Red, I was married to a woman who lied to my face without thinking twice. The fact that you were worried the other night, even though you handled it wrong, tells me that you recovered and managed today just fine.”
Jade’s eyes widened as she stared back like he’d lost his ever-loving mind. “You know, that’s pretty sexy.”
“Excuse me?”
“The way you defended my actions when I was hard on myself,” she explained. “It’s pretty hot.”
A smile spread across her face and she started to reach for him, but pulled her hand back as someone came down the hall, then turned into another studio room.
He hated this. He didn’t want to worry they were in public. When she wanted to touch him, he wanted her to have that freedom.
So did that mean he wanted a relationship? Hell, maybe he did, but he wouldn’t say anything. At least not for now. He had to make sure his thoughts weren’t skewed by great sex.
“You wanna come to dinner about seven?” he asked, more than ready to get some alone time with her.
She reached up and slid the towel from around his neck. “Let’s make it seven thirty. I have a few things I want to do.”
Cash raised his brows. “More important than dinner and sex?”
Jade laughed. “Well, I want to go by the hospital to see the baby.”
Cash nodded. “I think I’ll wait until they’re home.”
A group of ladies turned into the hallway. Their laughter preceded them, then faded as they went into the side room.
“I don’t like not touching you,” he whispered.
Her eyes flared wide. “You’ll touch me later.”
“I’m counting on it, Red.”
She offered him another saucy smile. “See you in a few hours.”
Cash let her head out of the hall first before he headed to the men’s locker room. Each time they were in public together or around their friends, Cash was finding that not acting on his feelings was becoming harder and harder.
Maybe he’d need to think more about this relationship thing. Perhaps he should also get a feel for what Jade thought, because he wouldn’t lay his heart on the line again unless he knew it wouldn’t be handed back to him in pieces.
* * *
“And Livie has ordered four dozen petit fours, all white with little blue clouds.”
Jade sipped her glass of wine and sat back in the patio chair as she stared across the table at Cash. He’d made her an amazing dinner of grilled chicken with fresh vegetables and a salad that had nuts and strawberries, and he’d even chilled her favorite Riesling. She knew for a fact he’d had to drive to get this bottle because the Quickie Mart in Haven carried two types of wine: cheap red and cheap white.
“You’re not even listening,” she stated.
Cash sat sideways in his chair with his arm resting on the back. He’d been staring at her weirdly all evening. He hadn’t once cracked a snarky joke or made good on any promise from his blatant texts.
“Is something wrong?” she asked. “Is it your dad?”
He sat up straighter. Any time she mentioned his dad, Cash seemed to jump right out of any other thought.
“Dad is fine, considering.” Cash shifted to lean forward and grab his beer bottle. “Did you enjoy dinner?”
“You know I did. These are some of my favorite things.”
Cash nodded, then took a long pull of his drink. “How were Melanie and Knox?”
Jade set her glass on the table and leaned forward on her forearms. “I literally just spent the last ten minutes discussing my visit and the baby shower Livie and I are throwing this weekend. What’s up, Flex?”
He stared down to the label on his bottle and started picking at the corner that had come loose from the condensation. Jade waited, wondering what was on his mind, but more wondering how she could get back the Cash she’d been with only hours ago.
“Too tired from the yoga?” she joked, hoping to put a smile on his face.
Nothing. He continued to pick at the damp paper.
“Do you ever want something and then, when you get it, your goals immediately change?”
His question threw her off. Something had been eating away at him and she wanted to help. Wasn’t that what friends were for?
“I have a feeling we’re not talking hypothetically.”
Now his dark eyes did dart up to her, and Jade found herself frozen. Whatever he was thinking had something to do with her. The way he looked at her across the table like . . .
No. He wasn’t looking at her like anything. He only wanted her in the hot tub again, that’s all. Cash wasn’t getting emotionally invested.
“I want you to have everything,” he murmured. “Part of me feels like this fling . . . maybe it’s not fair to you.”
Had she taken a drink of her wine during that deliverance, she would’ve choked. Vincent “Cash” Miller was pulling the gentleman card right in front of her eyes. The man who flirted with every breath, the man who didn’t hesitate to get her naked and in the shower when she’d been a sip away from drunk, was sitting here telling her she basically deserved more.
More than what? Because she was having a good time with the way things were going.
“Are you telling me you don’t want to do this anymore?” she asked.
Because if that were the case, she’d have to respect his decision, but she didn’t have to like it.
Cash shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying at all,” he clarified. His hand stilled on the bottle. “I’m saying the exact opposite.”
The exact opposite, as in . . .
Oh, wait. Jade reached for her wineglass and finished it off. She couldn’t have heard him right. Cash was actually considering a relationship?
“Cash—”
“Crazy, right?”
He let out a nervous laugh. But Cash didn’t get nervous. . . did he? All this was such new territory, she wasn’t sure how to respond, or if he’d fully thought this through.
“I don’t even know what to say,” she mumbled as she stared at her empty glass. She’d love another, but she definitely needed a clear head for this conversation. “What exactly do you mean? You want a relationship? Like in public?”
He stared at her another minute before he picked up his bottle and cleared his throat. “You’re right. We should keep things as they are. Forget I mentioned it.”
When he scooted his seat back, Jade came to her feet first. “Oh, no,” she demanded as she pointed across the table. Cash didn’t move. “You don’t get to do the whole passive-aggressive thing with me.”
A corner of that wicked mouth kicked up in a grin. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Red. I just laid a question out on the table and then took it back. Simple as that.”
Simple? He thought mentioning a relationship with her was simple? Nothing about their setup was easy, yet she refused to let go. But a relationship? That word elicited a bit of panic, she wasn’t going to lie.
She’d dated over the years, she’d even had a couple of boyfriends who were somewhat serious. None she ever thought of as long term. But Cash? He was a good time, no doubt about that. She honestly wasn’t sure either of them were capable of a solid relationship, and two people floundering through the process didn’t seem like a smart idea.
“Listen, I didn’t initially invite you just to discuss this.” Cash slowly came to his feet and rounded the table until he stood mere inches away. “But after not being able to touch you or even kiss you without thinking who would be watching, I thought we were both being cheated.”
Jade reached out and laid a hand on his chest. “You’re being logical on me. I didn’t expect that.”
Cash tipped his head and shrugged. “I’m more than just a pretty face, Red.”
She couldn’t help but laugh as she looped her arms around his neck. “Always so modest,” she murmured against his lips. “How about we work on that chocolate cake and then rinse off in the hot tub?”
He palmed her backside and jerked her hips to his. “Sounds like you’re being logical now.”
When he covered her mouth with his, Jade realized they hadn’t resolved anything really. His question, though he claimed to have pulled it back, was still out there, hovering in the air. She couldn’t ignore it, and neither could he. At some point, they were going to have to figure out what all this meant, because now that he’d thrown down that gauntlet, she had to decide whether or not she should pick it up.
Chapter Thirteen
“Who’s going to eat all these petit fours?” Jade asked as she surveyed the food table decorated in blue fluffy tulle to mimic clouds.
“I’ll take them!” Piper raced to the table and stared up at Jade. “Can I?”
“I’m not sure Livie will think that’s a good idea,” Jade replied, tapping the adorable blonde on the tip of her nose. “But maybe you could take a couple and share them with your dad.”
Melanie had taken Knox to the bedroom to nurse him while Jade and Livie cleaned up after the successful baby shower. They’d opted to have the event at Tanner and Melanie’s house because that was easiest for Mel with the new baby.
“The trash is all out and the kitchen is clean,” Livie said as she came back into the living room. “Don’t even think of touching those cakes, young lady.”
“I hope you’re not talking to me,” Jade joked.
“Jade said I could take a couple and share with Dad.” Piper reached out and snagged two, then turned to Livie. “I promise to share.”
Livie nodded and blew out a sigh. “That’s fine, but let’s get a paper plate to put them on so you don’t have them all over my car. Jade, you can take the rest. I don’t care where you take them, but they aren’t going to my house, and Melanie said she didn’t want them either.”
Of course. Everybody was suddenly aware of their waistlines and Jade was stuck with the goodies.
She put the rest of the petit fours in the box they’d come in. What was she going to do with all of them? There were almost two dozen tiny cakes.
And looking at all that icing had Jade thrust back to last week, and chocolate cake and Cash’s talented hands and mouth.
They still hadn’t discussed a full-blown relationship. They both had gone on about their ways, keeping everything secretive where she’d sneak to his house and stay late, then leave before morning.
But she hadn’t been able to shake that moment when he’d looked so insecure, so vulnerable when he’d voiced his thoughts about wanting more. No, he hadn’t necessarily said that, he’d said she deserved more. Jade truly believed he meant that. She worried he felt he wasn’t offering enough, but she’d never asked for more, and she certainly didn’t expect it.
Cash was everything she needed at this moment in her life. He made her laugh, challenged her, threw her off guard in all the good ways, and was a complete gentleman in the midst of all that.
Melanie came back into the room holding a swaddled Knox. “Well, he’s asleep again. Eat, sleep, poop. Babies have a simple cycle.”
Jade put the bakery box on the table and glanced at her friend, who was still glowing over being a new mom. Mel and Livie had both found love and were mothers, and Jade couldn’t help but wonder about her own future and whether motherhood would be on her path of life.
“Hey, you okay?” Melanie asked. She shifted to stand closer to Jade as she patted Knox’s back. “You looked lost in thought.”
Jade put each of the cakes back into the box. “I’m fine. Just thinking how much stuff you got. I can’t believe one little person needs so many things.”
Melanie glanced into the corner of her living room that was piled with boxes and clothes and toys and books. There were even little totes with Knox’s name embroidered on them, which was seriously impressive, considering people had had less than a week to get those gifts together.
“It’s a bit overwhelming,” Melanie agreed, glancing down to the sleeping baby in her arms. “But he’s so worth it. I never knew love like this.”
Jade’s throat clogged with emotion. She couldn’t help but wonder what her birth mother had been like. Had she not wanted children at all, or had she been forced to give up her child? Maybe she couldn’t afford kids and just wanted a better life.
At one time, Jade had thought about finding her birth mother but opted against it. She didn’t want to intrude on someone’s life who maybe didn’t want the reminder from the past. Besides, Jade had a good life, she’d turned out just fine. Her mother may not have been the most loving—at all really—but Jade’s nana was absolutely everything.
“Can I take baby stuff to the nursery room?” Piper came bouncing back into the room and headed straight to the toys. “I want to make it pretty for him.”
“Honey, maybe Mel wants to do that,” Livie said as she followed her daughter to the corner.
“She’s fine.” Melanie crossed the room and leaned over to where Piper was digging through the new toys. “You can take whatever you want to Knox’s room. That would be a big help.”
Jade had just put the lid on the box when her cell vibrated in the pocket of her sundress. She’d been careful to keep track of her phone, especially when she was with others. Anytime she’d been in public, she’d made sure to keep it in a pocket; she couldn’t risk anyone seeing her texts again.
As Piper and Livie carried things down the hall to the nursery, Jade pulled out her cell and glanced at the screen.
Your mother wants to come for a visit. I’ve tried holding her off, but . . . heads-up!
Jade read the message from her nana three times and still couldn’t process it. Why did her mother want to visit? She hadn’t shown interest in Haven since she left after Jade’s graduation.
Piper’s giggle filtered down the hall, and Jade glanced back to Melanie, who had taken a seat on the sofa and was smiling down at Knox. Jade fired off her own frantic text, because she didn’t want her mother here.
What does she want?
She slid the phone back in her pocket and finished cleaning off the table. The box of pastries went into her trunk and the tablecloths and décor were put into a storage tote and placed by Livie’s car.
Jade checked her phone again, but nothing. Nana couldn’t just drop that warning and then not give an explanation. Jade wondered why her mother hadn’t bothered calling or texting herself. Or maybe she was just discussing it and Nana had overheard.
Regardless, the fact that a trip to Haven was on Lana McKenzie’s radar didn’t sit well with Jade.
While she had her phone in hand, Jade pulled up Cash’s. She squinted against the late-afternoon sun toward the porch and noted she was still alone.
Would you rather me grab some wings and sandwiches from Taps or do you want me to get something to put on the grill?
She waited a minute, but he didn’t respond, so she slid her phone back into her dress pocket and headed back into the house to tell her friends goodbye.
She and Cash didn’t have set plans, but they never did. They’d just formed some unwritten pact that they’d spend every evening together. Dinners turned into conversations, and that rolled right into intimacy. Jade wasn’t sorry they’d found their rhythm. Cash seemed just as happy as she was and, so far, none of their friends had a clue.
Jade stepped back into the house and ran right into Piper. The stack of little cardboard books clattered to the hardwood floor.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Jade squatted down to help Piper gather the mess. “I didn’t even see you there.”
“Because I’m short and you’re tall,” Piper explained, as if that were the only answer.
Jade reached out to grab a book and her phone slid out of her pocket and vibrated on the floor. She picked up the book and reached for her phone, but not before Piper glanced over.
“Uncle Cash,” she yelled. “Can I message him back?”
Jade risked looking over her shoulder, and of course Livie stood there with one brow raised and her arms crossed over her chest.
“What?” Jade asked. “Don’t give me that look.”
Piper picked up the phone and waved it in Jade’s face. “Can I?”
