Déjà vu, page 16
“I don’t blame you, Travis, if you consider everything I’ve done. I’m sorry, and honestly, I was about to call the airline, change my flight and go home this morning.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“My hand, something happened to my hand. This morning, almost like it had been frozen. I couldn’t move. I’m not sure how long, a minute, an hour. But when it passed, I felt something terrible had happened to you.”
Travis and Deb looked at each other, but Deb spoke next.
“What time this morning?”
Her question was directed toward Sam. It was the first time she had interrupted their conversation. And, it had taken Sam by surprise. She had to pause for a moment and think.
“I guess it was after ten, ten-twenty, maybe?”
The shock was evident in Deb’s expression. That was around the same time Travis was under the arch.
******
Mac stirred, and with the way his head felt, he wished to God he hadn’t. Peering through mere slits because his eyelids refused to open wider, he took stock of where he was. How he ended up in the cargo area of his Land Rover, still parked outside Digger’s, lacked necessary explanation. Because the why he’d ended up there was painfully obvious, but the urgent call of nature took precedence. He was in desperate need of taking a leak.
Thirty minutes later, he ambled into Molly’s or, was that, stumbled into Molly’s.
“Mackenzie Adams, what the hell as appened to ya?”
The startled expression on Molly’s face clearly indicated he didn’t look his best. Mac sure as hell didn’t feel his best either, and the volume of her voice seemed to resonate violently between his ears. Meekly, Mac slid into a booth as Molly approached with a mug of coffee in hand. “Morning, Molly.”
“If ya feel as bad as ya look, son, I’d say death would be a blessing. What the hell ave ya done ta ya self?”
That, in itself, seemed to be a very good question, but the necessary brain function appeared unable to tackle it. At least, in the current state of his condition and feeling fragile, he could only hope Molly would lose interest and leave him alone.
“Mac?” Her sympathetic expression matched the softening of her tone as she slid onto the bench seat across from him.
“Ya didn’t git in ta a fight wi Maggie, did ya?”
He offered a somewhat halted halve-smile and lazily shook his head to indicate he hadn’t. But the thought of, if he had stayed with her last night, the wrestling action in bed would have seen him with a broad smile on his face this morning. A comparison that offered humiliation for the choice he’d made.
“No, Molly, just tha opposite. We still love each other, but it's not what I came ere for.”
Molly placed her hand over Mac’s. Her concern searched his face for clues, more insight, and a better understanding, but somehow, she sensed she already knew there was no happy ever after to this story.
******
Deb shivered, feeling the sense of a cold presence in the room, and it spooked her.
“Christine?”
Jumping out of her seat in horror, Deb glared at Sam in disbelief. Unable to comprehend why Sam said that or how she could possibly even know. Travis was only a split second behind her in realizing what just happened and knowing what that name meant to her.
“Sam?” Travis said forcefully while pulling Deb into his arms to shield and protect her from.......... From God knows what? “Sam...... What......Why......Where? How do you know...... Why did you say that name?”
Sam sat in utter confusion, trying to understand what had just happened. What changed?
“Honestly, Travis, I don’t know?” She felt frightened by the look of fear on Deb’s face and almost terrified by the ‘ready to defend until death’ posture Travis had quickly established.
“What just happened?” Sam cried out incredulously, in need of explanation.
Travis drew Deb’s eyes toward his by gently placing his hand on her chin. “Deb, honey, it’s okay.” It wasn’t okay, and he knew it. For starters, his Ray-ban sunglasses were in the way, and after that, how could he even begin to think anything was okay. He removed his glasses but remained focused on Deb.
“Sam.... Just stay where you are. I need to make sure Deb is alright?”
Travis led Deb into her bedroom with a protective arm around her shoulders. But, almost immediately after crossing the threshold, Deb spun around. “No, Travis, I need to know.” Then, with determination, she returned to the living room and squared off in front of Sam.
“Why did you say Christine’s name? What do you know about her? How do you know about her?”
Sam sat bewildered, threatened by Deb’s close proximity and the demanding tone in her voice.
She tried to think quickly, but nothing came to mind. “I don’t know. The name just came into my thoughts. I can’t think why I said it. It holds no relevance to me. I’m sorry, really, I am?”
Even with the intense emotional overload pulsating at high speed through her mind, Deb knew she was telling the truth. Unfortunately, it didn’t explain anything or ease the pain she was experiencing in her chest or her compulsion in that next moment to break down and cry. Instinctively Sam stood, wrapped Deb in her arms, and held her close.
******
The clear blue sky and the warm touch of sunlight on her face greeted Julie as she stepped out into a new morning. The fragrance of magnolia mingled with the gulf breeze intoxicatingly invigorated her sense of smell and mesmerized her thoughts as to how paradise should be imagined. It was a beautiful morning; she was in love, and she planned to go shopping. Travis would arrive home in a few days, and just as importantly, he would bring Deb with him. She missed her brother almost as much as she looked forward to spending more time with Deb. It was hard to put into words, but she sensed Deb had so much more to teach her about the woman she had always been but had somehow failed to understand for reasons unknown to her. And although her wetsuit hung quietly in the guest bedroom closet, she intended to get it wet again soon. It was a beautiful day, and fifty miles away, the Tanger Outlet Mall in Foley, Alabama, stood waiting for her arrival.
The Gulf Beach Highway via Warrington carried her through Navy Point, Perdido Key, across the state line, and on through Orange Beach. Mile after mile of pure white, sun-kissed, sandy beach lay to her left, caressed by the aqua-blue waters from the Gulf of Mexico. Julie felt contrite now to think she had chastised her brother for preferring to live so close to the coast. Nashville is a memory fading fast as her thoughts about the future are pleasantly inspired by the natural serenity of this seascape. With Jimmy Buffet songs on the radio, a cheeseburger in paradise seemed to be quite within her reach. Yes, she thought, it’s a beautiful day.
Her response from Mac had arrived fast and greeted her before breakfast. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me, yes. ‘Julie, I love you. Mac.’ It’s a beautiful morning. He’s in Australia. He sure gets around. Half a world away, and yet, Julie can feel his presence. It’s a beautiful day.
******
Eventually, things appeared to calm down. Even so, Travis remained suspicious of Sam. Not once had he felt the need to chase after her, track her down or stalk her. Break into her home, live among her possessions, or get on a plane and follow her to another continent. There was something wrong with all that, and now this, uttering Christine’s name out of nowhere? It didn’t make sense, and the more he thought about it, the more on edge it made him. Then just to complicate her seemingly obsessive behavior, how, he thought, could he explain the entry in her journal—the perceived vision in the painting and his experience beneath the arch. And, if that wasn’t enough, he was still struggling to understand this touch of the hand, the eye-to-eye transmission of thoughts, and the terrifying premonition. For a man who thought he had a fairly tight grip on his life, in this, he was floundering. Adrift and alone with no knowledge of what would happen, one minute to the next, and it all revolved around Sam, Anne, or both of them. And now Deb and Sam were sitting together in conversation, and he, as if excluded, sat in the armchair watching them, with no role to play.
Chapter 31
Deb woke early the following morning and looked at Travis, who, still sleeping, lay beside her. The evening had not ended well. Travis wanted Sam to leave and offered to help her find somewhere to stay for the night. Deb had insisted that Sam stay and noted the troubled expression on Travis’s face when he finally succumbed to her wish, and she had felt the tension of his dissatisfaction as they prepared to get into bed. She found this whole situation troubling, overwhelming in fact, and despite her reluctance to admit it, she too was now involved. The very mention of Christine’s name had unleashed unresolved memories, heartache, and questions that had undulated silently beneath the surface of her thoughts. And, added to the sensation of feeling Christine’s presence, it challenged Deb’s ability to reason with any sort of certainty as to exactly what was happening?
Easing her way out of bed and trying not to disturb Travis, Deb felt inclined to wake Sam up and talk to her. Although the impulse stirring her motivation was unclear, the desire to wake Sam almost seems imperative and necessary. And, having quietly closed her bedroom door behind her, she hesitated to listen before opening the guest bedroom door and entering.
Gently rousing Sam from sleep, Deb smiled to offer reassurance before holding her finger in front of her lips to indicate their need to be quiet. Sam smiled and immediately drew her arms from beneath the bedcovers invitingly toward Deb for a hug. Without thought, Deb accepted the invitation, and only while held in each other embrace did she stop to think, but it didn’t feel strange. But strange or not, she could not allow it to continue. Could not contemplate the validity of her involuntary action; Travis was asleep in the next room. The quelling of emotions that stirred in an instant required expedient division without alarm. Deb brought the hug to a conclusion and gently drew back. Sam blushed and softly said, “I don’t know why I did that. I just felt so happy to see you. As if I’m not sure. Like I hadn’t seen you in a long time and....”
“It’s okay,” Deb whispered, still trying to dispel her own emotional reaction. “I want to talk with you and get your thoughts on what it is you and Travis have experienced. I just don’t understand, and I need answers.”
Following Deb’s lead, Sam got out of bed and tailed her into the kitchen, where Deb made coffee before they moved into the living room and sat on the couch.
Searching Sam’s eyes, Deb pondered where to begin.
“Sam, you and Travis met for the first time at a party, and something happened. But before that, did you ever experience any strange feelings like the ones you’ve had since meeting him?”
“No, Deb. Never. I was just a normal person living a normal life. I recently graduated college and was looking forward to getting on with the rest of my life, and wham, Travis came out of nowhere, and nothing has been the same ever since. It’s been crazy, I’ve done some stupid things, and it wasn’t until yesterday that I decided to stop everything and go home. I don’t want this to keep going on. Travis obviously doesn’t love me, which hurts, but I want my life back. Then this thing happened again yesterday morning and threw me right back into it. I had to find out if he was okay. I couldn’t just get on a plane and fly home not knowing. But how many times will this keep happening, and what am I supposed to do when it does?”
“You mean when you felt something in your hand. It’s happened before?”
“Yes, but last time it was my shoulder, my arm, and then my head. When he got hurt in the water?”
“I don’t understand?”
“I felt the pain when Travis was in trouble. Really, it was excruciating. I was at his house in Pensacola. He was somewhere in Asia, I think, diving. He was in the water. I couldn’t breathe.”
Deb was stunned and almost certain that Sam was unaware she had been with Travis when the accident happened. “How is that even possible, Sam?”
“How is any of this possible, Deb? I don’t know. I just thought our love for each other was so strong that somehow we shared a telepathic connection. I’ve heard of that happening, like when identical twins know when something happens to one of them. But this is different.”
“What do you mean, different?”
“I’ve felt Travis inside me, and I feel like I’ve been inside him. We’ve talked about it. It was the most powerful thing I’ve ever experienced. I know him as well as I know myself, or I thought I did, but he rejects me, and I can’t understand why? It feels like love, but it’s filled with hurt, or at least, I keep getting hurt.”
Deb saw the expressions on Sam’s face and felt sympathy, knowing Sam was desperately holding back tears. Trying to be strong. It was a feeling she recognized and had felt at times when she and Christine were in contention with each other. It does hurt, but why does Travis seem immune to its impact? Her only conclusion was that he was not in love with Sam. But that didn’t answer why they seem to share a vulnerability towards each other. Although, it did explain why Travis didn’t want to be around Sam. Even so, that was only one facet, one possible conclusion, and Deb was still confused. “Sam, tell me about the painting?”
It was only at that moment Sam realized Deb and Travis had talked about her. The sensation of having been stripped naked and laid bare, her thoughts and feelings gave cause for concern and constituted her imperative need to cover and protect herself. The thought passed quickly and was replaced with the feeling of wanting Deb to see her and, strangely, so much more. It was an unusual feeling and yet, enticing and warmly welcomed. Her breath caught at the very thought of it, and she didn’t know what to do.
Travis appeared in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee in his hand.
Chapter 32
Julie’s trip had been successful and having found the beach attire she deemed appealing, she decided to sample a cheeseburger in paradise along with fries and a drink. It had been, in her mind, a wonderful day, and it continued to be until she saw Steve’s vehicle parked in Travis’ driveway. The sight of it felt threatening, and it defiled her mood. Then, watching Steve open the driver-side door and step out of his vehicle as she pulled in added to her displeasure.
“Steve, what are you doing here?” Even as she said the words immediately after getting out of her car, she felt their redundancy. She knew there was only one reason he would drive all the way from Nashville and her resolve was unmoved. He had violated and humiliated her for far too long, even though the violation and humiliation lacked physical touch; it had insulted her emotional self-worth.
“Julie, I came to say I’m sorry. I know that may not sound like much, and I don’t expect you to forgive me. I was wrong to do what I did and hurt you in the process. You didn’t deserve that, but as a consequence, this is where we find ourselves, and we need to talk about it.”
It felt like a slap across her face. His remorse was limited. He had not come to beg her forgiveness but merely to tie up all the loose ends. Angered by this continued humiliation Julie reached out and slapped his face hard. She wanted him to feel what she felt, even in the ineffectual satisfaction of her scorn.
“Steve, I feel sorry for you, you son-of-a-bitch. You are not the man I married, he was worthy of my love, and I respected him. Whoever you are now, you’re not that man.
Steve was shocked by the force of her hand, and his visible expression acknowledged it, as did the strong impact of her words. He could not have anticipated this strength; he was not accustomed to it and stepped back.
Julie stepped forward unafraid with the desire to slap him again but restrained herself, concluding he was not worth it and the fact that her hand still stung from the first encounter with his face.
“I suggest you get an attorney, and if you try to cheat me again, I’ll see you in court.”
Her determination was to see him leave and never come back. She was afraid of the image she portrayed, never before having experienced it. It was powerful, invigorating, and resolute. Uncompromising and steadfast in her belief of who she had become.
Steve backed away several paces before turning. Then, he silently got into his vehicle, closed the door, and drove out of the driveway.
Julie stood motionless; no clear, concise thought came to the front of her mind. In her victory, she had lost everything, but none of it was worth having, and, in that, she was free.
******
Travis absorbed the scene with interest. Deb and Sam were sitting on the couch. Apparently, he had intruded in on their conversation, and judging by the embarrassed look on Sam’s face; the conversation was probably about him. And although Deb’s smile looked warm, he remained skeptical as to the value of it. The mere presence of Sam posed a threat. He couldn’t explain it; it was just something he felt. And, at that moment, he was reluctant to invest any more time trying to sort everything out. Not only did he feel at odds with Deb and the decision she’d made last night, he felt at odds with himself. Something had changed, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was.
“Travis, you’re not wearing sunglasses?”
Sam heard herself say the words with instant regret. He glanced at her to acknowledge her voice, then quickly looked away. ‘Why,’ Sam thought, had she forewarned him when her deepest desire was to look into his eyes and experience their connection.
“Travis, please look at me,” Sam asked pleadingly. But he would not.
“Sam, this isn’t what you think it is. Trust me, get on a plane, go home and forget we ever met.”
Even Deb felt the cold detachment of his statement and was surprised by the uncaring sound of it.
“Travis, that was harsh. Sam loves you, and no matter your feelings for her, you could be a little bit kinder.”
“Deb, I’m not trying to be unkind, and I do care. I’m trying to protect her. She needs to go home. It’s safer there.”
“What do you mean, Travis? What exactly do you think you will be protecting me from?” Sam asked out of frustration. “The only person who is hurting me is you. Do I need protection from you?”
