Kitty Valentine Dates a Cowboy, page 8
“So, do you ever have to swing a lasso?” I pretend to do that, swinging my arm over my head. Gently since I’m still holding wine in that hand. The other one is clasping his, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
“Sometimes. If a horse gets out of line.”
“Oh, and what would you do to me if I got out of line?” I flirt, setting my wine down.
“Oh, I can think of a few things I could do with some rope to keep you just where I needed you.”
We’re both smiling as we lean in for a kiss, which quickly turns into more. We’re not out in the hall this time. We’re not on a park bench.
And I’m not wearing pants like I was last night.
His hand runs up my thigh while his tongue plunges into my mouth. I don’t mind either. In fact, I wrap my leg around his to draw him closer, to show him I want more.
“What was that you were saying about a challenge accepted?” I manage before gasping when his fingertips graze the hem of my panties.
He’s laughing as he lifts me straight up off the couch with no effort. There is something so insanely sexy about being so easily handled, knowing he’s strong enough to pick me up and carry me off.
In this case, he’s carrying me off to the bedroom, my legs wrapped around him, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to let go.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Amazing, what a good lay will do for a girl’s outlook.
Is it just me, or is the sun a little brighter today? Are the birds singing a little louder? Is their song sweeter? The morning after Paxton’s visit, I might as well be a cartoon princess, floating through the apartment. If a cheerful squirrel randomly came in through the window to help me with the chores, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Nothing can stop me today. Even my writing flows smoothly, thanks to the inspiration Paxton provided last night.
Repeatedly.
The man is healthy; I’ll give him that. Maybe there’s something in the water down in Texas, or maybe it’s all that hard work he’s put in over the years. His body is used to working for hours on end, on the rigs. A little thing like sex must seem like a vacation in comparison.
Though the sex was no little thing. He’s no little thing either. I can’t help but laugh to myself when I imagine what Maggie would have to say if I were crude and trashy enough to describe him in detail.
I might have to share that kind of in-depth information with Hayley, and she’s about the only person in the world I would ever consider gossiping with like that.
When noon rolls around, I’m almost proud of myself for having remembered my lunch date with Matt. Granted, I’m not completely sure it’s a good idea for us to get together today—he was still acting sort of funny when he was over here last—but it’s not like our relationship hasn’t hit bumps before.
“I’m starting to think you offered to buy lunch today for an excuse to hang out with the dog.” He doesn’t sound disapproving when he makes this observation.
“You know me too well.”
He grins at Phoebe, who’s sitting between us and looking hopeful. “So, how did it go last night?”
And there it is. Why does he have to do this? If I were a dog like Phoebe, my hackles would go up at the mere mention of last night because I know what he’s really driving at. He wants details. He wants to tease and torment me.
And then there’s the fact that I get the feeling he doesn’t like Paxton very much, though I’m not sure why. Is there something he’s not telling me? Would that be such a surprise? Frankly, no matter how well we’ve gotten to know each other, there are still many mysteries surrounding my neighbor that I haven’t come close to cracking yet.
With a smile, I ask, “What happened last night? Why would you ask that?”
He digs around with his chopsticks, snickering. “Oh, so that’s how we’re going to play it.”
“Play what? Who’s playing?”
“You know as well as I do that I could hear his voice from my apartment. Remember, thin walls?”
Ugh, I can never hide anything from him.
He cocks an eyebrow. “So? How did it go?”
Part of me wants to lash out, to tell him he knows damn well how it went if he could hear so clearly from across the hall. I tried as hard as I could to keep things quiet, and for the most part, I succeeded. But there are times when a girl can’t contain herself, and one of those times is when she’s in the throes of passion.
Considering Paxton brought me to that point three times last night, Matt was bound to hear something.
“I could boink every night for the next year and scream like a banshee the entire time, and it wouldn’t come anywhere close to what I’ve heard coming from your apartment.”
“So, there was boinking. I see.” He snorts a little, going for another dumpling.
“Why not? We’re dating.”
“So, is it true what they say?”
I shouldn’t ask. I shouldn’t even entertain him. “Is what true?” I ask against my better judgment.
“Is everything bigger in Texas?”
“You are such a pig!” But I can’t help the way my cheeks flush. It’s a sensation that spreads down my throat and to my chest.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He laughs at my reaction. “Lighten up. It’s not such a big deal.”
“Then, why did you bring it up?”
“Don’t you know by now how I love to see you squirm?”
I look at Phoebe, who looks at me with her soulful doggy eyes. “Seriously, how do you put up with him?”
“So, how much longer is Prince Charming going to be in town?”
“He’ll go home this weekend.”
“So, I guess that would be the end of that. I hope you got enough information for your book.”
I glance up from my tofu and vegetables with a shrug. “Actually, he mentioned something about having me come out to visit him next week.”
“Oh, really?” There’s a flatness in his voice now. He’s not wearing that shit-eating grin anymore.
“Don’t worry; I’ll still be here to watch Phoebe. I already told him I have responsibilities this weekend.”
“It’s very generous of him to allow you to help a friend in need.”
“Considering I’m the writer, you have a way of being overly dramatic about things that even I don’t understand. And that’s saying something.” When he doesn’t fire back a snarky response, I add, “Is there something you’re not telling me? Something about him? Do you know more about his situation that I don’t?”
“You’re just going to get mad at me.”
“That’s a great start. I hope you know you’d better keep going, or you’ll get a chopstick through the eye.”
“Rumors make their way around.” He shrugs. “I don’t pay attention to most of what I hear. By the time I hear gossip about these heavy hitters, it’s usually already been passed through five or six different people. Like one long game of telephone. By the time news gets to me, there’s no telling how much of it is completely made up.”
“What did you hear? Seriously, tell me. I will lock you in this apartment until you do.”
“You do realize, there are worse things in life, right? I mean, it’s a pretty comfortable apartment.”
“You don’t think I could make your life miserable if I put my mind to it?”
He winces. “Fair enough. It’s just that I remember reading in some news item a few months ago that he was seriously involved with the daughter of some big oil tycoon down in Texas.”
“I was dating someone a while ago. So what?”
“I’m talking, merger potential. Both business and personal.” He lowers his brow, eyes boring into me. “You know what I’m saying.”
“He was engaged?”
“I don’t know for sure really.”
“Then, why even bring it up if you don’t know? Why would I care about what he was doing a few months ago? Unless he was serving time for murder or something like that, it’s none of my business. We’re only casually seeing each other.”
“Give me a break, Valentine. I heard you over here today, singing to yourself. All happy and stuff. When I came in, you were smiling for no reason. And now, your shoulders are up around your ears, and you’re defensive and upset.”
Why is it making me so uncomfortable, having this conversation with him? We usually discuss just about everything under the sun, and it almost never bothers me. But this? Maybe because it feels like an invasion of privacy.
Maybe because I don’t want to hear what he has to say about Paxton.
“That’s where the gossip comes in,” he continues. When he puts his food aside, I know he’s serious, so for the sake of not getting in a fight, I put my food aside as well and face him head-on. “Rumor had it at the time that he was dating this girl and thinking about getting married for himself and for the business. That’s where the merger part comes in.”
“So, what you’re saying is, he’s only interested in a relationship with somebody who’s going to help save his company down the line?”
“That’s the long and short of it. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “That’s the way it goes for some of these businesses. These wealthy tycoons, they have to protect what’s theirs, and if there’s trouble or the potential for it down the line, they’ll do what they can to lessen the damage.”
Darn it.
Why does he have to do this?
Why does he have to make me unhappy?
I was flying high earlier; my heart had wings. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about last night—the heat, the tenderness, and the mind-blowing, toe-curling pleasure. He worshipped me, cherished me. We connected more deeply than I have with a man in just about as long as I can remember.
When the stinging starts behind my eyes, I know I’m in big trouble. Which is why I get up, go to the kitchen, and rummage around in the fridge like I’m looking for something. Really, I don’t want him to see me cry.
“You’re upset,” he announces from his place on the couch.
“No, I’m not.”
“Then, why are you standing there with your head in the fridge and your back turned to me?”
“You know, there are times when I’m pretty sure you get off on upsetting me. And it’s not enough to upset me, but you have to pick at it.” I probably slam the refrigerator door harder than necessary, but now, I’m mad. On the verge of furious in fact.
He has the nerve to look surprised, even offended. “I’m trying to be your friend!”
“No, you can’t stand to see me happy for even two minutes of my life. After everything I’ve gone through in this freaking experiment Maggie insisted I start with—much of which you’ve been aware of—I finally feel good. I feel like this could be right. This could go someplace. So, naturally, you have to come in with a big, sharp pin and stick it in my balloon. Do you take pleasure in this?”
“I should’ve known.” He gets his things together, closing up half-full containers and stacking them to take back to his apartment. “Some people can’t be helped.”
“Oh, you’re such a sweet person,” I snap. “What a generous guy you are. What a saint.”
“You’re being nasty and childish.”
“And you’re obsessed with my personal life because yours has gone down the tubes!”
I know the second it’s out of my mouth that it was the wrong thing to say. Sure, it felt good, coming out, but I regret it instantly.
His face scrunches up a little, like he’s recovering from a blow. “So, that’s what you think this is about?” he whispers.
“Well? What else? You used to bring home a new girl almost every night. You used to go out; you had a social life. Now, you’re a homebody, and you got annoyed with me because I had something to do on Sunday night. I’m sorry if I can’t arrange my schedule around your lack of a social life.”
Kitty, what is wrong with you? Where is this coming from?
I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. I don’t even believe half of what I’m saying, but he’s hurt me so much, left me feeling hopeless and inadequate. Not to mention hopelessly naive, like a real idiot for ever thinking Paxton might get serious about me.
He shakes his head with a sad little smile. “You know, you’re one of the smartest people I know. I give you a lot of shit; I realize that. I tease you; I joke around. But really, your intelligence has impressed me on more than one occasion.”
I should be kind, shouldn’t I? I should extend an olive branch.
Instead, I double down out of a stupid sense of self-preservation. “Um, thanks? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You just don’t get it. You still don’t see. I’m starting to think you never will. Because you don’t want to. I guess I need to get a grip once and for all.” With that, he picks up the rest of his food and motions for Phoebe to follow him back to their place.
I trot behind them. “Wait a second! I’m not finished yet.”
“Too bad because I am.”
He tries to close the apartment door before I can get through, but he’s too late. I manage to shove my way in and follow him to the kitchen.
“If there’s something I need to get, as you put it, why won’t you come right out and tell me? What’s with all this secrecy? Since when do you not tell it like it is?”
“Some things can’t be said so easily.” Now, it’s his turn to go to the fridge, like I’m not even here.
“Can’t you just talk to me? What is going on? I’m sorry for being nasty before. Don’t shut me out, please.”
He barks out a bitter laugh before closing the refrigerator door and turning to me. The expression on his face makes me fall back a step. It’s something between anger and … desperation? Frustration?
“You think saying you’re sorry erases what you just said? Like I’m going to forget? It doesn’t work that way. Trust me, if it did, my life would be a lot simpler right now.”
“Meaning what?”
He tries to turn away, and I give him a little shove to hold his attention.
“Don’t turn your back on me! Tell me what it is. What is so hard about your life right now? What haven’t you told me?”
He looks at the floor. “Don’t do this. I’m serious. Just go home.”
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
His eyes lift, darting over my face before narrowing. “Fine. You want me to talk to you? I’ll talk to you. You live in this little bubble. You only see what you want to see; you only hear what you feel like hearing. And maybe that’s my fault. In fact, I know a lot of it is my fault.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“What else is new? You don’t give any thought to how you might affect other people. Or how, sometimes, being in your corner is more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Is that how you feel right now? That I’m more trouble than I’m worth?”
“Right now? Hell yeah. My life was a lot simpler before you drunkenly stumbled over here one night and asked me how to write a sex scene.”
I take a step back, flabbergasted. “Well, if I’m such a problem for you, don’t let me screw up your life anymore. But don’t get pissy with me when we can’t get together on a Sunday night either.”
He snorts. The disdain written on his face is striking, disheartening. “Are you blind? Or are you willfully ignorant? I’m trying to tell you something here, and you’re not listening.”
“Then, just come out and say it because I’m no closer to understanding you than I was before!”
He doesn’t say it.
Instead, he does something I wouldn’t have anticipated in a million years.
He reaches out.
Takes me by the arms.
Pulls me to him before I even know what’s happening.
And he kisses me.
My body goes stiff in surprise, total shock. It’s not a sweet kiss. Not tender. It’s hard. Fierce. But no less passionate. I don’t have time to register what’s happening, how I should react, before he pulls away.
“Does that answer your question?” He lets me go and turns away again, breathing heavy. “Seriously, you should go. I shouldn’t have done that. This has gotten out of hand. It would be best—”
I don’t need to hear any more. I don’t want to either. Because I have absolutely no idea what the hell just happened. I’m out the door before he has a chance to finish his sentence.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“And that’s it. I texted you, like, two seconds later. And then I buried myself under my blankets for most of the afternoon because I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
Hayley sits across from me, sipping her drink with an air of nonchalance that I find truly disturbing.
I wave a hand in front of her face. “Hello? Did you hear anything I just said? Matt kissed me. Matt! Of all people! Help me figure this out because I am lost.”
She tips her head to the side. “Are you though?”
“What?”
“You’re seriously lost? It comes as such a massive shock that Matt kissed you?”
“Okay, did I stumble into a parallel universe? Because nothing is making any sense right now. Why would I not be surprised? He’s practically my brother.”
My beautiful, brilliant best friend lowers her glass to the table with a sigh before reaching across and taking my hand. “Kitty, I’m telling you this with all the love in my heart. You are completely delusional when you set your mind to it.”
“Wow, and that was said with love? I would hate to hear it if it wasn’t.”
“Be a smart-ass all you want; that doesn’t change anything.” She has to let go of me when our server brings a plate of nachos.
“Your extra side of guacamole and one of extra cheese,” he murmurs, placing the pair of ramekins beside the platter.
If nothing else, this is a situation that requires extra cheese and guacamole.
Even the sight and smell of the nachos doesn’t dissuade me from what’s going on. “I don’t understand.”
She rolls her eyes. “Kitty, when are you going to wake up and figure out that he’s in love with you?”
“Sometimes. If a horse gets out of line.”
“Oh, and what would you do to me if I got out of line?” I flirt, setting my wine down.
“Oh, I can think of a few things I could do with some rope to keep you just where I needed you.”
We’re both smiling as we lean in for a kiss, which quickly turns into more. We’re not out in the hall this time. We’re not on a park bench.
And I’m not wearing pants like I was last night.
His hand runs up my thigh while his tongue plunges into my mouth. I don’t mind either. In fact, I wrap my leg around his to draw him closer, to show him I want more.
“What was that you were saying about a challenge accepted?” I manage before gasping when his fingertips graze the hem of my panties.
He’s laughing as he lifts me straight up off the couch with no effort. There is something so insanely sexy about being so easily handled, knowing he’s strong enough to pick me up and carry me off.
In this case, he’s carrying me off to the bedroom, my legs wrapped around him, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to let go.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Amazing, what a good lay will do for a girl’s outlook.
Is it just me, or is the sun a little brighter today? Are the birds singing a little louder? Is their song sweeter? The morning after Paxton’s visit, I might as well be a cartoon princess, floating through the apartment. If a cheerful squirrel randomly came in through the window to help me with the chores, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Nothing can stop me today. Even my writing flows smoothly, thanks to the inspiration Paxton provided last night.
Repeatedly.
The man is healthy; I’ll give him that. Maybe there’s something in the water down in Texas, or maybe it’s all that hard work he’s put in over the years. His body is used to working for hours on end, on the rigs. A little thing like sex must seem like a vacation in comparison.
Though the sex was no little thing. He’s no little thing either. I can’t help but laugh to myself when I imagine what Maggie would have to say if I were crude and trashy enough to describe him in detail.
I might have to share that kind of in-depth information with Hayley, and she’s about the only person in the world I would ever consider gossiping with like that.
When noon rolls around, I’m almost proud of myself for having remembered my lunch date with Matt. Granted, I’m not completely sure it’s a good idea for us to get together today—he was still acting sort of funny when he was over here last—but it’s not like our relationship hasn’t hit bumps before.
“I’m starting to think you offered to buy lunch today for an excuse to hang out with the dog.” He doesn’t sound disapproving when he makes this observation.
“You know me too well.”
He grins at Phoebe, who’s sitting between us and looking hopeful. “So, how did it go last night?”
And there it is. Why does he have to do this? If I were a dog like Phoebe, my hackles would go up at the mere mention of last night because I know what he’s really driving at. He wants details. He wants to tease and torment me.
And then there’s the fact that I get the feeling he doesn’t like Paxton very much, though I’m not sure why. Is there something he’s not telling me? Would that be such a surprise? Frankly, no matter how well we’ve gotten to know each other, there are still many mysteries surrounding my neighbor that I haven’t come close to cracking yet.
With a smile, I ask, “What happened last night? Why would you ask that?”
He digs around with his chopsticks, snickering. “Oh, so that’s how we’re going to play it.”
“Play what? Who’s playing?”
“You know as well as I do that I could hear his voice from my apartment. Remember, thin walls?”
Ugh, I can never hide anything from him.
He cocks an eyebrow. “So? How did it go?”
Part of me wants to lash out, to tell him he knows damn well how it went if he could hear so clearly from across the hall. I tried as hard as I could to keep things quiet, and for the most part, I succeeded. But there are times when a girl can’t contain herself, and one of those times is when she’s in the throes of passion.
Considering Paxton brought me to that point three times last night, Matt was bound to hear something.
“I could boink every night for the next year and scream like a banshee the entire time, and it wouldn’t come anywhere close to what I’ve heard coming from your apartment.”
“So, there was boinking. I see.” He snorts a little, going for another dumpling.
“Why not? We’re dating.”
“So, is it true what they say?”
I shouldn’t ask. I shouldn’t even entertain him. “Is what true?” I ask against my better judgment.
“Is everything bigger in Texas?”
“You are such a pig!” But I can’t help the way my cheeks flush. It’s a sensation that spreads down my throat and to my chest.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He laughs at my reaction. “Lighten up. It’s not such a big deal.”
“Then, why did you bring it up?”
“Don’t you know by now how I love to see you squirm?”
I look at Phoebe, who looks at me with her soulful doggy eyes. “Seriously, how do you put up with him?”
“So, how much longer is Prince Charming going to be in town?”
“He’ll go home this weekend.”
“So, I guess that would be the end of that. I hope you got enough information for your book.”
I glance up from my tofu and vegetables with a shrug. “Actually, he mentioned something about having me come out to visit him next week.”
“Oh, really?” There’s a flatness in his voice now. He’s not wearing that shit-eating grin anymore.
“Don’t worry; I’ll still be here to watch Phoebe. I already told him I have responsibilities this weekend.”
“It’s very generous of him to allow you to help a friend in need.”
“Considering I’m the writer, you have a way of being overly dramatic about things that even I don’t understand. And that’s saying something.” When he doesn’t fire back a snarky response, I add, “Is there something you’re not telling me? Something about him? Do you know more about his situation that I don’t?”
“You’re just going to get mad at me.”
“That’s a great start. I hope you know you’d better keep going, or you’ll get a chopstick through the eye.”
“Rumors make their way around.” He shrugs. “I don’t pay attention to most of what I hear. By the time I hear gossip about these heavy hitters, it’s usually already been passed through five or six different people. Like one long game of telephone. By the time news gets to me, there’s no telling how much of it is completely made up.”
“What did you hear? Seriously, tell me. I will lock you in this apartment until you do.”
“You do realize, there are worse things in life, right? I mean, it’s a pretty comfortable apartment.”
“You don’t think I could make your life miserable if I put my mind to it?”
He winces. “Fair enough. It’s just that I remember reading in some news item a few months ago that he was seriously involved with the daughter of some big oil tycoon down in Texas.”
“I was dating someone a while ago. So what?”
“I’m talking, merger potential. Both business and personal.” He lowers his brow, eyes boring into me. “You know what I’m saying.”
“He was engaged?”
“I don’t know for sure really.”
“Then, why even bring it up if you don’t know? Why would I care about what he was doing a few months ago? Unless he was serving time for murder or something like that, it’s none of my business. We’re only casually seeing each other.”
“Give me a break, Valentine. I heard you over here today, singing to yourself. All happy and stuff. When I came in, you were smiling for no reason. And now, your shoulders are up around your ears, and you’re defensive and upset.”
Why is it making me so uncomfortable, having this conversation with him? We usually discuss just about everything under the sun, and it almost never bothers me. But this? Maybe because it feels like an invasion of privacy.
Maybe because I don’t want to hear what he has to say about Paxton.
“That’s where the gossip comes in,” he continues. When he puts his food aside, I know he’s serious, so for the sake of not getting in a fight, I put my food aside as well and face him head-on. “Rumor had it at the time that he was dating this girl and thinking about getting married for himself and for the business. That’s where the merger part comes in.”
“So, what you’re saying is, he’s only interested in a relationship with somebody who’s going to help save his company down the line?”
“That’s the long and short of it. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “That’s the way it goes for some of these businesses. These wealthy tycoons, they have to protect what’s theirs, and if there’s trouble or the potential for it down the line, they’ll do what they can to lessen the damage.”
Darn it.
Why does he have to do this?
Why does he have to make me unhappy?
I was flying high earlier; my heart had wings. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about last night—the heat, the tenderness, and the mind-blowing, toe-curling pleasure. He worshipped me, cherished me. We connected more deeply than I have with a man in just about as long as I can remember.
When the stinging starts behind my eyes, I know I’m in big trouble. Which is why I get up, go to the kitchen, and rummage around in the fridge like I’m looking for something. Really, I don’t want him to see me cry.
“You’re upset,” he announces from his place on the couch.
“No, I’m not.”
“Then, why are you standing there with your head in the fridge and your back turned to me?”
“You know, there are times when I’m pretty sure you get off on upsetting me. And it’s not enough to upset me, but you have to pick at it.” I probably slam the refrigerator door harder than necessary, but now, I’m mad. On the verge of furious in fact.
He has the nerve to look surprised, even offended. “I’m trying to be your friend!”
“No, you can’t stand to see me happy for even two minutes of my life. After everything I’ve gone through in this freaking experiment Maggie insisted I start with—much of which you’ve been aware of—I finally feel good. I feel like this could be right. This could go someplace. So, naturally, you have to come in with a big, sharp pin and stick it in my balloon. Do you take pleasure in this?”
“I should’ve known.” He gets his things together, closing up half-full containers and stacking them to take back to his apartment. “Some people can’t be helped.”
“Oh, you’re such a sweet person,” I snap. “What a generous guy you are. What a saint.”
“You’re being nasty and childish.”
“And you’re obsessed with my personal life because yours has gone down the tubes!”
I know the second it’s out of my mouth that it was the wrong thing to say. Sure, it felt good, coming out, but I regret it instantly.
His face scrunches up a little, like he’s recovering from a blow. “So, that’s what you think this is about?” he whispers.
“Well? What else? You used to bring home a new girl almost every night. You used to go out; you had a social life. Now, you’re a homebody, and you got annoyed with me because I had something to do on Sunday night. I’m sorry if I can’t arrange my schedule around your lack of a social life.”
Kitty, what is wrong with you? Where is this coming from?
I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. I don’t even believe half of what I’m saying, but he’s hurt me so much, left me feeling hopeless and inadequate. Not to mention hopelessly naive, like a real idiot for ever thinking Paxton might get serious about me.
He shakes his head with a sad little smile. “You know, you’re one of the smartest people I know. I give you a lot of shit; I realize that. I tease you; I joke around. But really, your intelligence has impressed me on more than one occasion.”
I should be kind, shouldn’t I? I should extend an olive branch.
Instead, I double down out of a stupid sense of self-preservation. “Um, thanks? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You just don’t get it. You still don’t see. I’m starting to think you never will. Because you don’t want to. I guess I need to get a grip once and for all.” With that, he picks up the rest of his food and motions for Phoebe to follow him back to their place.
I trot behind them. “Wait a second! I’m not finished yet.”
“Too bad because I am.”
He tries to close the apartment door before I can get through, but he’s too late. I manage to shove my way in and follow him to the kitchen.
“If there’s something I need to get, as you put it, why won’t you come right out and tell me? What’s with all this secrecy? Since when do you not tell it like it is?”
“Some things can’t be said so easily.” Now, it’s his turn to go to the fridge, like I’m not even here.
“Can’t you just talk to me? What is going on? I’m sorry for being nasty before. Don’t shut me out, please.”
He barks out a bitter laugh before closing the refrigerator door and turning to me. The expression on his face makes me fall back a step. It’s something between anger and … desperation? Frustration?
“You think saying you’re sorry erases what you just said? Like I’m going to forget? It doesn’t work that way. Trust me, if it did, my life would be a lot simpler right now.”
“Meaning what?”
He tries to turn away, and I give him a little shove to hold his attention.
“Don’t turn your back on me! Tell me what it is. What is so hard about your life right now? What haven’t you told me?”
He looks at the floor. “Don’t do this. I’m serious. Just go home.”
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
His eyes lift, darting over my face before narrowing. “Fine. You want me to talk to you? I’ll talk to you. You live in this little bubble. You only see what you want to see; you only hear what you feel like hearing. And maybe that’s my fault. In fact, I know a lot of it is my fault.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“What else is new? You don’t give any thought to how you might affect other people. Or how, sometimes, being in your corner is more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Is that how you feel right now? That I’m more trouble than I’m worth?”
“Right now? Hell yeah. My life was a lot simpler before you drunkenly stumbled over here one night and asked me how to write a sex scene.”
I take a step back, flabbergasted. “Well, if I’m such a problem for you, don’t let me screw up your life anymore. But don’t get pissy with me when we can’t get together on a Sunday night either.”
He snorts. The disdain written on his face is striking, disheartening. “Are you blind? Or are you willfully ignorant? I’m trying to tell you something here, and you’re not listening.”
“Then, just come out and say it because I’m no closer to understanding you than I was before!”
He doesn’t say it.
Instead, he does something I wouldn’t have anticipated in a million years.
He reaches out.
Takes me by the arms.
Pulls me to him before I even know what’s happening.
And he kisses me.
My body goes stiff in surprise, total shock. It’s not a sweet kiss. Not tender. It’s hard. Fierce. But no less passionate. I don’t have time to register what’s happening, how I should react, before he pulls away.
“Does that answer your question?” He lets me go and turns away again, breathing heavy. “Seriously, you should go. I shouldn’t have done that. This has gotten out of hand. It would be best—”
I don’t need to hear any more. I don’t want to either. Because I have absolutely no idea what the hell just happened. I’m out the door before he has a chance to finish his sentence.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“And that’s it. I texted you, like, two seconds later. And then I buried myself under my blankets for most of the afternoon because I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
Hayley sits across from me, sipping her drink with an air of nonchalance that I find truly disturbing.
I wave a hand in front of her face. “Hello? Did you hear anything I just said? Matt kissed me. Matt! Of all people! Help me figure this out because I am lost.”
She tips her head to the side. “Are you though?”
“What?”
“You’re seriously lost? It comes as such a massive shock that Matt kissed you?”
“Okay, did I stumble into a parallel universe? Because nothing is making any sense right now. Why would I not be surprised? He’s practically my brother.”
My beautiful, brilliant best friend lowers her glass to the table with a sigh before reaching across and taking my hand. “Kitty, I’m telling you this with all the love in my heart. You are completely delusional when you set your mind to it.”
“Wow, and that was said with love? I would hate to hear it if it wasn’t.”
“Be a smart-ass all you want; that doesn’t change anything.” She has to let go of me when our server brings a plate of nachos.
“Your extra side of guacamole and one of extra cheese,” he murmurs, placing the pair of ramekins beside the platter.
If nothing else, this is a situation that requires extra cheese and guacamole.
Even the sight and smell of the nachos doesn’t dissuade me from what’s going on. “I don’t understand.”
She rolls her eyes. “Kitty, when are you going to wake up and figure out that he’s in love with you?”
