Scarlet Stone, page 13
I blink, releasing my tears as I return a slow nod.
His jaw clenches several times as his glassy eyes meet mine. Before me stands a man who feels guilty for being alive. I never wanted for him to feel this way, but my guilt nearly killed me. I honestly believe it played a leading role in my body succumbing to cancer.
“I still love you,” he whispers.
Biting my trembling lips together, I nod, wanting nothing more than to fall into his arms and sob. Of course he still loves me. I would never have said ‘yes’ to any man who didn’t love me so completely. As much as the old me wants this to be an epic moment about a woman who fell in love with two men, but ultimately chose the one she loved longer, it’s not.
I step closer to him and press my hand to his chest again. “I love you always, Daniel. But no matter what my prognosis is, the Scarlet you proposed to? She died. I’m not her. I’m not going back to London with you—to that life—to Oscar. Over the past five months, I found this person I never knew existed, and I like her and so does my body. She’s the Scarlet who is beating cancer. She lives in the moment. She doesn’t own a single electronic device. She sees life so differently. She doesn’t live with regret.”
My hand moves from his heart to his handsome face, wiping away his tears. “She … loves another man.”
Daniel collapses to the floor, hugging my waist. We’ve come full circle. I run my hands through his hair as he buries his face into my shirt and cries.
“Fuck you, Scarlet Stone. Fuck you for taking my heart. Fuck you for … for …” he sobs.
“Fuck me for living,” I whisper as I fall to my knees and hug him.
Right now, in the middle of the worst kind of pain, I realize I’m not choosing Theo. He may not love me. We may forever be nothing. I can live with that. I will live with that. I’m choosing to let go of the guilt and hold on to the sound of my own breath—breathing in, breathing out. I count them. Today, I choose Scarlet Stone.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Theodore
Fourteen trips.
It takes fourteen trips to the old Asian guy’s place to deposit the plants that she left behind. He regards me through his screen door, wearing a “poor bastard” expression that I sure as fuck don’t need. But he says nothing. I didn’t ask him if he wants them. When I set the last two down, he eyes me for a few seconds, then he nods.
After three washings, I decide to burn the sheets from the pullout bed and her pillow. I refuse to smell her anymore. I throw out all of her food, even the shit that I’d normally eat. It’s hers and I don’t want it.
I swim.
I work.
I drink.
I get a new tattoo.
I watch porn on my computer. The really bad kind. No kissing or sensual shit—just hardcore fucking. Anything to forget about her.
Days get X’d on my calendar. My guns get cleaned and my knives get sharpened.
After two weeks, I’m still so fucking pissed. That was her plan … screw around and die. She could have died on me with my dick buried in her. I’d have been left fucking a corpse. The thought repulses me, so much so I expel the contents of my last six beers over the edge of the balcony.
After thirty minutes of recovery, I retrieve another six pack from the refrigerator.
Unzip my pants.
And watch more porn.
*
“Theo?”
I’m not ready for company. Nolan has the worst timing. “Upstairs,” I yell.
“Looks amazing.”
I nail in the final piece of trim and turn. “Thanks. I’ll fill in the nail holes and that’s it.”
He nods, looking around the bedroom. “I’ll put it on the market by Friday.”
“I’ll be out this weekend.”
“Take your time.” He tips his chin up. “What’s with the plant?”
I glance over at the damn peace lily. I should have given it to the Asian guy too, but I didn’t.
“She left it.”
“Scarlet?”
I nod, sweeping up the saw dust.
“You want me to take it to her?”
I grunt. “I’m sure they have houseplants in London.”
“Probably, but London doesn’t have Scarlet Stone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I bend down and sweep the pile into the dust pan.
“A couple of days ago I received a call from a guy who owns an apartment in town. Scarlet listed me as a reference on her rental application. Later that afternoon, she showed up at the house, on a bicycle—an old Schwinn. Said it was all she could afford for now.”
“And what did she want?” I try to sound like I don’t care, because I don’t.
“A job. She wanted to know if I knew of any good job openings.”
“Why—” I stop myself.
“Why what?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head.
It was nothing.
It was a lie.
It’s over.
I’m leaving soon, and I won’t be returning.
CHAPTER TWENTY
My name is Scarlet Stone and my biggest fear is that someday I will find what I want most in life and it will be impossible to steal.
Scarlet
I have a bicycle with a tire that keeps deflating, a one-bedroom flat free of anoles at the moment, and a job that pays a dollar over minimum wage because my boss is a total tight arse. He says the benefits make up for the low pay, that and it’s a made-up job—one I made up.
“You’re late.”
I bump Nolan’s arm on purpose as I invite myself inside his mansion. “I had to stop three times to pump up my tire.” I hold up my small bike pump.
“You should buy a new tire or a car.”
“When you pay me my first wages, I will get a new tire. The car will require a bit more money in the bank.” I drop my rucksack and water bottle by the door and slip off my trainers.
“I offered to give you a loan—an advance.”
“You did and it was very generous of you. Had I not had enough money for my deposit and first month’s rent, I might have taken you up on your offer. But I’m good. I want to do things on my own.” I smile. I want to do things fairly and legally.
“Good morning, Miss Stone. Can I get you some breakfast? Coffee? Tea?” Sofia greets me.
“Tea would be lovely, thank you.”
Nolan gestures to a room off the foyer. “Mother is still sleeping. Come in and have a seat.”
“Have you told her about me?” I sit in the black and white paisley arm chair by the window. Nolan sits opposite of me.
“You mean that I’ve hired her a babysitter?” He smirks, smoothing his hand over his black trousers as he crosses one long leg over the other.
“A personal assistant and confidante, not a babysitter.”
“Let’s stick to personal assistant.” Nolan narrows one eye. “Confidant implies she’s going to share her secrets with you. She doesn’t know she has any secrets to share, and I’d prefer we keep it that way.”
Sofia serves us coffee and tea.
“Thank you.” I smile before taking a sip. “I thought we could go shopping today.”
“She buys everything secondhand.”
I shrug. “That’s fine. She can show me her favorite places. Does she have a bike?”
Nolan rolls his eyes as he pours cream into his coffee. “She has a driver. Lorne will take you. He’ll be here by ten.” He stirs his coffee with a silver spoon. “How are you feeling?”
My fingernail traces the pattern on the arm of the chair as my lips twist to the side. “You tell me?”
“I don’t feel emotions very well. Physically, you’re much better.”
I nod. “Have you talked to Theo lately?”
“Yesterday. He’s done with the place. I’m surprised you moved out so soon. You were paid up through the month. I take it something went wrong?”
I laugh. “I didn’t die as expected. My ex-fiancé showed up unannounced and met the man I’ve been fucking for months—”
Nolan chokes on his coffee, holding his fist to his mouth. “You … what?”
“Oh, Theo didn’t tell you?”
He shakes his head while clearing his throat.
I watch the wind whip around the tall grass in the distance. “It was just sex, boredom—nothing.” Everything. It was everything.
“I didn’t know you were engaged.”
“Yes. I had a new job. A really good-paying job.” Turning, I narrow my eyes at Nolan.
He grins.
“A new car. Money in the bank. My dad is in prison, but hey, no one has a flawless life. Then there was Daniel. We were perfect together, or so it seemed at the time. Then I got my diagnosis and that perfection just … shattered.” I still can’t talk about it without emotions stinging my eyes.
“To sum it up, I didn’t want to ruin Daniel’s career, or his life. One was enough. So I said goodbye—forever—and I came here to die. Theo was …” I shake my head. “I don’t know. Something physical I needed at the time. It wasn’t until I found out that I wasn’t going to die—at least not right away—that I realized I …” I press the pad of my finger to the corner of my eye, trapping my tear before it falls.
“You fell in love with him.”
I nod.
“You should tell him.”
I laugh. “I did. I told him right in front of Daniel. I thought it would mean more if he knew I was willing to hurt one man that I loved to prove my love to another man.”
“He didn’t say anything?”
“He said he doesn’t love me.”
My name is Scarlet Stone and my biggest fear is that someday I will find what I want most in life and it will be impossible to steal.
Nolan has no response. There really is none. I fell in love with a man who never hid his complete detest for me since our first encounter.
“Mr. Moore, your mother is awake.”
We both stand and nod at Sofia.
“Don’t take it personally. Theo is pretty messed-up. You’re better off without him,” says the man whose parents define completely insane. “He’s moving out this weekend anyway.”
I follow him up the stairs. “Where is he going?” I’m doing a shit job of acting like I don’t care.
“Nashville … Tennesse.”
He’s leaving. I can’t believe “I don’t love you” was his goodbye. Fuck cancer. Nothing is more painful than love. But I won’t feel sorry for myself. Daniel has to feel the same way right now. I gave him a life again … and then I took it away.
Nolan turns. “I didn’t tell her I hired you. She thinks you need a friend.”
My head bobs a bit side to side. Then I shrug. “It’s not entirely untrue.”
He grins and knocks twice on Nellie’s door. “Mom, Scarlet is here.”
“Perfect timing.” The door opens.
Nolan doesn’t flinch. How is it possible that every muscle in his face remains completely relaxed? His mother has on a powder-blue felt skirt with a poodle appliqué and a pink corset. I’m not sure anyone has ever paired these two items of clothing before now.
“Be a dear and tie this for me.” She turns.
I grab the corset laces and give them a gentle tug with my eyes on Nolan.
“Thanks for spending time with Scarlet today, Mother. I think she said something about shopping. Lorne will be here soon.”
“Thank you, Nolie.” She sucks in a deep breath.
I cinch the corset.
“Has Nolie proposed to you yet?”
I look toward the stairs, but Nolie is gone.
“No. We’re just friends.”
“Oh? He said you didn’t have any friends.”
“I don’t have any female friends.”
Nellie looks over her shoulder. “You do now.” She smiles, orange-red lipstick stuck to her teeth.
“There.” I tie the bow. “Shall I see if Sofia has your breakfast ready?”
“Please.”
*
Nolan hired me under an agreement that I wouldn’t ask his mum about her past. He didn’t say she wasn’t allowed to talk about it on her own.
“You’re quite fashion forward, Nellie. I bet you’ve always had an eye for it.” Not a question—just a statement. I watch her rummage through rack after rack of secondhand clothes, picking out only the most hideous and outdated pieces.
She stops and looks at me with her head cocked to the side like she’s searching for an answer, but I didn’t ask a question. It’s her past. She’s trying to remember if in fact she has always had an eye for fashion.
I grab a fancy wide-brimmed black hat with three soft pink roses in the front and slip it on. Nellie’s gaze moves to the hat and becomes even more intense.
“I liked hats,” she whispers like she’s not really sure if it’s true. Her face pales a bit.
“You look like you could use some lunch. What do you say?”
Her vacant eyes shift to me, yet I know she’s still sifting through something from her past that’s not clear. After a few moments, she seems to let it go as her smile reappears, her eyes more focused again. “Yes. Lunch would be perfect.”
We go out for lunch. Lorne drives us around town so Nellie can give me the history of Savannah that Nolan already gave me when I arrived. She can’t remember her past, but she remembers everything about Savannah’s past. I like Nellie. Theo said before the ‘incident’ she was a rich southern bitch, and maybe she was. However, she’s not now, and I hope if or when she gets back her memory, she keeps the part of her that is grounded in secondhand clothes and supermarket coupons.
When we pull up to the house, she reaches over and rests her hand on mine. “You’re welcome.”
I smile, feeling a laugh building in my belly. She’s sincere, as if I’d thanked her, and I had planned on it, but she beat me to that part of our conversation.
“Thank you.” It’s so backwards, but she doesn’t seem to notice. “Maybe we can do something together again tomorrow.”
She nods. “If you need me, I’m here for you.”
Lorne opens her door just as mine is opened as well.
“Hey!”
Nolan offers his hand and helps me out. “Did you two lovely ladies have a pleasant day?”
“We did.” I grin because it’s the truth.
“You two will give me lovely grand babies.”
Nolan wiggles his eyebrows in the first really flirtatious look he’s ever given me. I roll my eyes as we follow Nellie inside.
“I’m going out to the house to check everything over before I put a sign up. Want to ride along? When I was there yesterday, I noticed you left a plant.”
“A plant?” I laugh. “I left thirty odd plants. I’m sure they are dying. I should get the ones that are salvageable, but—”
“No.” Nolan shakes his head as we both give Nellie and Sofia a wave goodbye. “One. There was only one plant that I saw. Something with white blooms.” He shuts the door behind us.
I hike my rucksack over my shoulder. The peace lily.
“It didn’t look dead. He’s clearly been watering it.”
I stop a few feet from my bike. “I’ll go with you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
My name is Scarlet Stone, and I’ve been told I have a fiery personality when it comes to men. Of course, the only people who tell me that are men.
Nolan looks over at me after he turns off his car. I stare at Theo’s truck in front of us.
“You good?”
I nod, but I’m far from good. This is a bad idea. So he kept the lily, it doesn’t mean anything.
“If it gets too awkward, grab your plant and wait for me in the car. Okay?”
Taking in a deep breath, I open the door. “I’ll be fine.”
As we approach the door, it opens. I stop, Nolan runs into my back, but it doesn’t distract from my focus on dinner girl—the girl who Theo brought home the night I made him dinner. The girl who thought I was his maid has something in her hands—my peace lily!
“That’s my plant,” I mutter as I charge toward her.
“Hey!” Her eyes bulge out, mouth open in shock, when I snatch the plant from her. “Theo gave me that!”
I glare at her for a full five seconds before I tear open the screen door and march inside with my plant. Nolan says something to her, but I can’t register his words over the anger surging in my veins, making it difficult to hear anything but my own racing heart.
The target of my anger turns, partially hidden behind boxes on the worktop. He gives me the once-over with no discernible expression before he wraps a plate in newspaper and places it in a box.
“Did you fuck that tart then give her my peace lily as a parting gift?”
He ignores me. The stupid wanker has the nerve to ignore me.
“You have your plant, Scarlet. Maybe it’s time for you to wait in the car,” Nolan says, stepping in front of me so I can no longer see Theo.
“Maybe you should wait in the car for me, Nolan,” I grit through my teeth.
“Maybe you both should come back after I’ve moved out. Technically, this place is still mine.”
I step past Nolan before he can stop me. “Ours, you big arse. Technically it’s still ours, but the lily is mine!” My voice proves to be double the size of my body.
“Give us a few minutes, Nolan,” Theo says with his frigid glare on me.
“You okay?” Nolan asks me.
“I’m not the one you should be worried about,” I narrow my eyes at Theo. The humming bird … I will always be the humming bird.
Nolan chuckles with a slight head shake. “I’ll be up the way, getting a beer. Call me when you get this settled.”
I still don’t have a mobile but saying that would break my concentration. Nothing can distract me from plotting Theodore Reed’s death.
The door clicks and Theo steps toward me. I step back.
“Where’s your fiancé?”
“Daniel is in London, but he’s not my fiancé. I broke off my engagement six months ago.”
Theo takes another step. I don’t move; instead, I hug the peace lily tighter.
