Let Nothing You Dismay

  Jessica Lynch

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Stay in Touch

  A Note From Jessica

  About the Author

  I’ll Never Stop

  Pre-Order Now

  Also by Jessica Lynch

  Copyright © 2018 by Jessica Lynch

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover by Jessica Lynch

  For my family and friends,

  and for those who have—or will—take the trip into Hamlet with me…

  Happy holidays!

  1

  Tessa Sullivan knew Lucas De Angelis loved her.

  He told her often and, unlike her late husband, he wasn’t shy in showing her, either. From little things, like bringing her flowers or cooking her favorite dinner after a long day of interviews, to bigger things, like how he supported her through the whole trial of figuring out what to do with Jack’s ashes.

  Even though she moved out of the apartment she shared with Jack and into a whole new city a few states over, Tess didn’t feel right leaving Jack behind. It was bad enough she was the reason his cremated remains were in the small cardboard box she picked up from the funeral home. The least she could do was find a fitting resting place for the man whose only crime was loving her long after she stopped loving him.

  And Tess knew that Lucas continued to love her more and more every day because, despite being the one who put Jack in that box, he didn’t just chuck it out of their sixth floor apartment after he discovered it in one of her moving boxes.

  When she finally decided to take a weekend trip and scatter Jack’s ashes so that he didn’t haunt their new place, Lucas drove her out to the mountains and held her as she watched with a dry eye as her husband’s remains drifted off into the early winter wind, away from them and out of their lives forever.

  But sometimes… sometimes Tess wondered if Lucas loved her too much.

  Was such a thing possible? Perhaps.

  Case in point: the whole, well, putting Jack in the box thing. Four months ago, after close to a year of planning, Lucas did what he had to do to make sure that Tess was free of a husband who didn’t believe in divorce.

  It was okay, though. Because there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do—or any lengths that she wouldn’t go—to make sure no one ever separated her from Lucas De Angelis. Even if that meant that she couldn’t always get exactly what she wanted. What was good for Lucas, was good for her, she decided.

  And that’s when, after making up her mind about the upcoming holiday season, she started dropping hints. No matter how fiercely she wanted to keep Lucas all to herself, especially since they were poised to spend their first Christmas together, Tess knew that that wasn’t what Lucas needed.

  It might be what he wanted, sure, since his love for her bordered on desperation. But she adored him enough to make sure he had what he needed. And what Lucas needed, more than anything, was to go home for Christmas.

  He’d never admit it. When he tossed their plans to the side, leaving Hamlet after six weeks instead of the three months Lucas initially decided to wait, Tess felt guilty for everything he was giving up to be with her.

  His home. His sister. His practice.

  In essence, his whole life.

  Lucas told her she was worth it. Even now, after everything he’d done to prove he meant it, she still struggled to believe it.

  Christmas was a time for family. Lucas was all she had. As long as she was with him, she was happy. And Tess knew he’d be happy—or, if not happy, then content—if he could check in on Maria and make sure she was doing fine without him.

  So that’s exactly what they were going to do.

  When he failed to pick up on her hints, the way she left Maria’s frequent e-mails open on her laptop, or when she asked questions about how Hamlet celebrated holidays like Christmas or Hanukkah, Tess finally came out and told Lucas that she wanted to go back and spend Christmas with Maria in his hometown.

  Lucas, who could deny her nothing, only pretended to be put out by her request. It didn’t take long for him to agree, though he had his own condition. Hamlet was a five or six hour drive from Dayton, depending on the traffic and the weather. They could take the drive and surprise Maria—but only if they left on Christmas Eve. He was adamant that Christmas Day be saved for the two of them alone.

  Since that meant she wouldn’t have to worry about transporting all of the presents she bought for him so that he had gifts to open on Christmas morning—something she absolutely refused to budge on—Tess accepted his condition.

  And that’s how, only two months after she swore that she would never set foot in Hamlet again, Tessa Sullivan found herself planning on going back for the two days leading up to Christmas.

  “Is it straight now?”

  Since all she could see were Lucas’s feet sticking out from under the tree as he lay flat on his belly, wrestling the monstrous douglas fir into the tree stand, Tess didn’t even bother to keep the smile off her face. Whether it was because the sight of him struggling with the tree more than twenty minutes after she first left him cursing it made her want to laugh, or because it delighted Tess to know that he did this all for her… she wasn’t so sure.

  Still, she had to try again before he started snapping off branches in utter frustration.

  “You don’t have to do this, Luc. I think I brought my tree with me when we moved—”

  “You said that Sullivan insisted on a fake tree every year even when you asked for a real one. I’ll be damned if I put that plastic crap up in our living room. You wanted a real tree,” he said, grunting a little as he repositioned it again. “You got one. Now, Tessa, baby, is it straight?”

  She muffled her snort behind her hand. It was maybe straight—if she cocked her head all the way to the left and squinted.

  But since she couldn’t tell Lucas that, she settled on saying, “Um, try shifting it to the right.”

  “My right or your right?”

  “Your right.”

  With another grunt, Lucas heaved the tree until it was far more straighter than it had been.

  “Better?”

  “Perfect.”

  And it was, to Tess at least. It was absolutely perfect.

  Before the tree could tilt again, Lucas went to work screwing the tree into the old-fashioned tree stand that Tess fell in love with at the tree farm. He took one look at her face when she saw it, told the clerk to wrap it up, then bought the biggest tree they had left considering it was already the 19th.

  It reached so high, the tip of the tree was barely scraping their ceiling. Tess secretly wondered how they were going to put a star on top, and then wondered if she’d remembered to bring the old decorations. So much of what she had in her old apartment with Jack was moved into storage when Lucas insisted on a fresh start. It could be anywhere.

  Just in case, she stopped at the store that morning before they drove out to the tree farm, picking up a couple of basic shatterproof ornaments that they could throw up on the tree. Christmas was in a week and, despite the lights Lucas hung up and the few decorations she brought with her, Tess had to admit that it wasn’t really Christmas until the house—or the apartment—smelled like tree.

  It was a scent she remembered vividly from her childhood, before her father’s car accident and her mother’s sickness. Good memories came with the deep breaths of pine and winter freshness. Lighting a balsam-scented candle and placing it next to the artificial tree Jack put up had never been the same as bringing a fresh tree indoors.

  Once the tree was secured, Lucas climbed out from underneath. Wiping the tree sap away on his jeans before brushing the stray pine needles from his coal-black hair, he scrutinized it closely, then nodded. “Looks good. Now we just need the branches to fall a little. After they do, I’ll put the lights on and we can trim the tree with the ornaments you got.”

  Standing up on her tiptoes, she pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love it, Luc. I’m glad I let you talk me into it.”

  Because they were still planning on going to Hamlet, Tess had argued that there was no real need for a tree of their own. During the time she tried to convince Lucas to go back, he told her all about how worked up Maria got over Christmas. Remembering her friend’s eye for details in each themed room of the bed and breakfast, Tess could only imagine what Christmas in Ophelia would look like.

  Why bother trying when nothing could compare?

  Because, it seemed, Lucas was focused on giving her the best holiday he could, just like she was doing for him. And, after asking her about her traditions, making sure they put up a towering tree in the middle of their living room was at the top of his list.

  Lucas just proved it when he murmured, “Anything for you, baby.” He nuzzled his chin on the top of her head before burying his nose in the loose waves of her dirty blonde hair. “Mmm. You smell good. Delicious, even.”

  Tess giggled. “Thanks. I was just taking the last batch of cookies out of the oven when you called me to see if the

tree was straight.”

  Lucas sniffed again. “Chocolate chip?”

  “Yup. And some peanut butter cookies, too.”

  He ducked his head, stealing a kiss of his own that was a lot of heavier than the one she gave him. It also meant he stole a little of her breath before he was done. Tess was gasping a bit as Lucas chuckled, running the side of his sticky hand along her cheek before slipping past her.

  Even though his path was obvious, she still called after him, “Luc, honey, where are you going?”

  “Did you tell Maria you were bringing cookies?”

  “What? No. I haven’t even told her we were coming.”

  That wasn’t the only thing Tess hadn’t told Maria. After forming a fast friendship with Lucas’s sister while she stayed at Maria’s bed and breakfast—despite all of the acting Tess had to do while in Hamlet, her friendship with Maria was nothing but genuine—Tess promised she would keep in touch with the other woman when she left Hamlet.

  And she had. In Hamlet, there was no internet, no cell service, no real contact with the outside world. But, from time to time, Maria would take the drive out of town, head into the county, and use the library computers. They exchanged e-mails at least once a week and, while Maria made a point to tell her the very day that Lucas left, Tess never responded that she knew because, when he left Hamlet, he ended up on her doorstep.

  It was one of the reasons she wanted so badly to make sure Lucas visited Maria for the holiday. Apart from believing it would be just the gift he needed, Tess didn’t like keeping the truth from her friend. When Lucas showed up at Ophelia with her in tow, then Maria would finally stop fishing for information in her e-mails.

  Wait—

  After knowing this man for six years, and knowing his appetite in all things, Tess was well aware just how insatiable Lucas was.

  And he was in the kitchen alone with four cooling batches of Christmas cookies.

  “Lucas Antonio De Angelis! You better not eat all of those cookies!”

  When all she got in response was a husky chuckle, she couldn’t help but grin. Grin, and start to make a grocery list in her head for everything she would need to bake up enough cookies to satisfy Lucas and have something to bring into Hamlet next week.

  2

  Traffic on the highway was crazy. Pure madness.

  Lucas expected it, and was prepared for it. However, there was one thing he couldn’t account for: the ever-shifting weather forecast.

  And while Tessa might get excited over the prospect of a white Christmas, the terrible weather was nothing but a goddamn nuisance.

  It started out as rain, then hail, and by the time they were four hours into the drive, the temperature had dropped enough that big, fat, fluffy flakes had begun to drift down from the overcast sky. It didn’t take long before it began to stick, coating the grass in the median almost immediately once it began to fall.

  The more the snow began to pile up, the slower the traffic went. If it wasn’t for Tessa taking his hand and holding it loosely in hers as the cars crept down the highway, keeping him calm and content, Lucas might’ve gotten a workout honking his horn and offering the other drivers a one-finger salute.

  It was a relief when they could finally turn off the road, heading toward Hamlet.

  A car or two blasted their horns behind him, either concerned that he was spinning out or taking a road that wasn’t really a road. He ignored them. Most highway travelers had no clue of the hidden town they would find if they just drove down the dirt street, bounced over the cobblestone road, bypassed the gaping maw of the gulley, and headed toward the mountains.

  Hamlet was its own best kept secret. Lucas liked it that way, too.

  Tessa perked up a little once they passed the welcome sign. Her grip on his hand tightened, and he could sense her nerves as they came to life. It was one thing for Tessa to come up with the idea to return to the scene of the crime; it was another entirely to actually do it.

  Her shoulders tensed as she leaned forward in her seat, testing the limits of the belt that kept her strapped in. Lucas could only imagine the thoughts that were running through her head. They both came to the same conclusion that what happened in Hamlet was, for them, a necessary evil. They did what they had to and, once they were settled in together in Dayton, promised they would put it behind them.

  Lucas did so easily. Tessa… not so much. It was far simpler for her to pretend it never happened—but how could she when he was driving her right back to the place it all happened?

  The snow piled up quickly in Hamlet. Lucas knew that from a lifetime of experience. Only three cars in the whole village had attachable plows and the men who drove them never went out until the snow finally stopped falling.

  Feigning that the three inches on the ground made it difficult to control the Mustang, Lucas lowered his speed to a mere crawl.

  Then, as casually as he could, he said, “It might be too dangerous to drive on in this snow. Maybe we should turn back, find a hotel off the highway for the night. We can try again in the morning.”

  “We’ve come all this way. Let’s keep going.”

  “Are you sure, baby?”

  She nodded. “I can do this.”

  So maybe he didn’t play it off as cool as he thought. The way she turned in her seat so that she could meet his gaze, then nod as if trying to assure him, told Lucas that she knew he was doing this all for her behalf. First, agreeing to drive all the way to Hamlet, then offering to leave before they even arrived at Maria’s.

  He pressed the tip of his boot to the gas, moving at a quicker clip. The Mustang was a beast in the snow, thanks to the special snow tires he had put on at the beginning of December. When he lived in Hamlet, it was habit to do so since his office was so close to the mountainside of town. Even now that he lived in Dayton, snow tires were a must come winter if he wanted to drive his prized car around.

  Okay. He continued down Main, heading for Ophelia. If that’s what Tessa wanted, fine. They could always turn around if she changed her mind and he told her as much.

  “No, I’m not going to—oooh. What’s that?”

  Thinking she saw something ahead in the road, Lucas slowed down again. “What’s what?”

  Tessa pointed through the windshield. But, instead of pointing at the road, she gestured off to the right side of the road where they were coming up on a few of the houses on the outskirts of Hamlet.

  “The lights! Look! All three houses are decorated with the same kind of lights… and the lamps! They’re wrapped in twinkling fairy lights and… is that candy cane wrapping?”

  In a town with a population of less than two hundred people, it was easy to orchestrate a festive scene that matched. The three residences that dotted this part of Main Street were decorated with the same kind of lights—but they wouldn’t be the only ones decorated to the nines. Every house would be, no matter what the religion.

  In Hamlet, Christmas was both a religious holiday and a secular festival for the townspeople to celebrate. Gifts for their friends and neighbors were a given, and each homeowner was responsible for participating.

  “Didn’t I tell you that we go all out for Christmas here?”

  “You did, Luc, but I never guessed it would look like this. It’s so pretty!”

  He was used to it, but it made him smile to hear her coos of surprise and appreciation every time they passed another house. Once they had driven further into Hamlet, the snow became less of an annoyance and more of a beautiful backdrop to the lights and decorations everywhere.

  The Hamlet Inn in particular was, as usual, decorated splendidly. He had to pass it in order to get to Maria’s, and though he knew it might also stir up unpleasant memories, he took the large u-shaped turn so that Tessa could get an up close look at its splendor.

  It was time for the two of them to make their own memories, and pleasant ones at that. Next time, when Tessa thought of the Hamlet Inn again, she didn’t have to think of murder and what he did for her—for them. She could think of twinkling lights, fifteen foot Christmas trees standing out front, and the garland-wrapped columns that supported the inn.

 

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