The Stranger Inside, page 17
part #4 of Stranger Series
“I am, too!”
“You never think of anyone but yourself and you know it,” Josh said, his voice raised. “And all that crap you said at dinner about running now and getting a job. You made all that up, too, didn’t you?”
His words stung. “No. It was true.”
“Whatever,” Josh said. They rode in silence for a couple of minutes. When Josh spoke again, his voice was calmer. “He’s a nice guy. Mom likes him. I like him. And Mom really needs someone. She’s lonely, and he makes her happy. Please, leave them alone.” He turned onto the paved road, then glanced at her. “There’s an explanation for everything.”
CHAPTER 27
ON NEW YEAR’S Eve, Diane stood on the deck, staring out over the harbor. Soft, delicate flakes of snow fell as she gazed out at the docks and boats decorated with Christmas lights.
She was still haunted by the caller. Every time she thought about him, her stomach knotted up.
When she’d woken that morning, the pit in her stomach had grown into a sinkhole of worry. She was going to have to talk with Dr. Carol about it. She couldn’t go on like this much longer.
An old Motown tune played inside. Ellie, who had flown in the previous night, had clearly taken charge of the music. Diane thought back on how differently Alexa had handled herself at Christmas dinner. For once she hadn’t seemed angry. Uncomfortable, yes. Stiff and awkward, yes. But her attitude had definitely improved. She’d also said she’d taken up running again and had gotten a job. Diane hoped that was true.
Maybe Diane’s tough love, although short-lived in many ways, had worked. Maybe Alexa was turning her life around. Maybe . . . she would be okay after all. Of course, she still hadn’t apologized, but maybe that would come with a little more time. Right now that hardly seemed important. Her daughter’s safety trumped everything. She would ask her again tonight to come stay at the house. Maybe this time she would say yes.
Diane scanned the yard for the ducks. She hadn’t seen them for a long while.
She glanced back inside at the festive partygoers in her living room. She was having a small, intimate New Year’s Eve gathering. Half a dozen friends Diane had made at the crisis center over the past year, including Mary Kate. She’d even invited Wayne, who was no doubt sharing all the latest hot gossip with everyone. Ellie was laughing with Diane’s landlord, Mr. Davidson, and probably already knew him better than Diane did after a whole year of living here. That was how Ellie operated. Lance had been invited, but so far he hadn’t shown up.
No matter how hard she tried to fake it, Diane just couldn’t get into the party mood. In fact, she never would have thrown a New Year’s Eve party, but Ellie had planned to be in town and had insisted.
She looked back at the dark harbor. Josh had driven to New Cambridge to pick up Alexa, because her car was acting up again, and should be back any minute. There was a good chance of another snowstorm, though, and she worried about them being on the road.
Diane suddenly heard oohs and aahs from the women behind her. She turned to see Rick walking in the front door, carrying a vase of red roses. She felt a smile forming on her face, and suddenly everything seemed a little better.
She walked over to Rick and took the flowers.
“Thank you.”
“Happy new year, beautiful.”
She noticed he was carrying something else in his other hand. “What’s that?”
He held it out. It was a beef bone. “For Prince Biscuit,” he said. “Where is he?”
Diane smiled, loving the fact that he’d also thought about Biscuit, who she’d grown attached to and was now pretty sure she’d be keeping. “Upstairs. My bedroom.”
He looked around at the room. “And your kids?”
“I sent Josh to go pick up Alexa. She’s having car trouble again.” She heard a car pull into the driveway. “I bet that’s them now.”
ALEXA WALKED INTO the foyer with her brother. She didn’t want to come. She would have much preferred to stay buried under her covers watching a movie on her iPhone rather than be forced to hang around with people she didn’t know. People she was certain she wouldn’t like. But she didn’t want to disappoint her mother.
Besides, she had big plans for tonight. She was going to apologize to her mother once and for all. She’d apologize to Josh, too . . . and tick the two most difficult (and important) things off her list.
She scanned the room and saw Ellie already staring at her. She knew Ellie thought she was going to behave like a brat, but she wasn’t. She’d changed. Ellie would see.
She watched her mother make a beeline toward her and Josh. “Thanks for coming.”
Again, a polite, hesitant smile.
Her mother was quickly whisked away by her landlord, who wanted to talk to her about something dull like furnaces or something.
After a few minutes Alexa withdrew from the crowd and hurried upstairs. She needed to take care of something before she did anything else. Her mother’s bedroom door was shut. No doubt because the dog was in there. Alexa walked in and found Biscuit standing at the door, his tail wagging in anticipation. She knelt down and petted him, and he picked up a bone and offered it to her. Then he glanced past her into the hallway and whined.
“Trust me. You’re much better off up here.”
Biscuit looked unconvinced and kept staring past Alexa into the hallway.
Alexa wiped her palms on her jeans, and as she headed downstairs, she heard her mother and Josh in Josh’s bedroom. Her mother was insisting he do a breathing treatment. He’d been coughing up a storm in his Jeep on the way here and really did need one. Knowing she’d have a few minutes unobserved, she headed straight for the kitchen, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.
The kitchen was empty. Thank God.
Privacy.
She had one more thing she needed to do before she could face the night.
On the island, she found something that would work. A bottle of vodka. She had planned to allow herself this little slip.
Just this one.
After all, tonight would be difficult . . . and she was certain even the strongest people in the world let themselves slip sometimes.
She wouldn’t get drunk. She’d just have a little bit. Enough to take the edge off. Besides, who didn’t drink or do pills on New Year’s Eve, right?
She grabbed a red plastic cup and poured it half full with the vodka, then topped it off with Coke, then she went to the half bath. When she emerged from the bathroom several minutes later, half of her drink gone and the other half tucked inside the cabinet beneath the bathroom sink, she noticed a bunch of ladies and the creepy manager from the supermarket gathered around Rick. He was saying something, and they seemed to be hanging on his every word.
She watched him with the others and wondered why everyone seemed so taken with him. Even Josh. And even after what she had told him. It made her angry. Rick had gotten a dishonorable discharge and had that half-naked photo, but for some reason, she was the bad guy.
Fine. She would pretend to like him tonight.
But sometime after tonight, when the time was right, she was going to talk to her mother about what she’d found. Her mother needed to know. She would appreciate knowing.
She found a seat on the arm of the couch and listened to the conversation. Rick was saying something about living off the grid. He talked about gardening, preserving food, natural antibiotics. Everyone seemed so fascinated, but she found it boring. She noticed the supermarket manager looking at her. When their eyes met, he quickly looked away. She could tell he didn’t like her, and she couldn’t blame him. She had been rude that afternoon.
She refocused her attention on Rick and listened quietly, relaxing as the alcohol hit her bloodstream. When it did she felt a burst of joy and began to feel lighter, more confident. She let her eyes travel the room again and noticed her mother was watching her. Alexa smiled at her, and for once it was easy.
The buzz felt so good that after a few minutes she went back to the bathroom and drank down the rest of the drink so she could keep it going.
When she emerged this time, she felt really good. She walked back into the living room and leaned against a wall. Minutes later, voices sounded like they were under water, distant. She watched Josh coughing and her mother leading him upstairs. She heard the words “pneumonia” and “hospital” and “breathing treatment.”
The room started to spin a little. Alexa blinked. She tried to focus on something close to her. Her eyes found a bouquet of roses on the counter. Needing to do something to keep her hands busy, she reached for the card and read it. It was from Rick to her mother.
To new beginnings, it read. Love, Rick.
Gross.
Feeling nauseous, she fumbled to put the card back and lurched forward. As she did, she bumped the vase and watched as it teetered off the edge of the counter. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She grabbed for the falling vase but couldn’t catch it in time, and it crashed to the floor near her feet, the glass shattering loudly.
The party stopped.
Alexa stared down at the mess in front of her. She was too frightened to look up. When she finally did, her mother’s face was pale.
“It was an accident,” she said, feeling bile rise in her throat.
She saw something she didn’t like in her mother’s eyes.
Disbelief.
Her mother didn’t believe her. Alexa felt herself bristle. Suddenly she didn’t want to be there anymore. She turned to head up the stairs to get Josh and ask him to bring her home.
“Alexa?” she heard behind her. It was her mother. “You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?”
She kept walking.
“Alexa,” her mother said, her tone firm. “Where are you going?”
Alexa turned and looked at the floor. “To get Josh. I want to go home.”
“Please. I’d like for you to stay here.”
“I don’t want to stay here,” she said defiantly, “and you can’t make me.”
She wanted her mother to apologize for not believing her. But she didn’t.
“Josh shouldn’t be on the road in this weather,” Rick said. “If she wants to go back to New Cambridge, I’ll drive her.”
Alexa glared at Rick, but when he walked into the foyer, she followed him. When she got to the front door, her mother appeared with her purse.
“I lost my balance!” Alexa shouted. She couldn’t believe her mother didn’t believe her. And she didn’t want to control herself. Not now.
Her mother stood silently, her arms folded across her chest. There was disbelief in her eyes. Alexa’s eyes traveled to Rick, and anger rose to the surface. “He’s not as great as you think, Mom. Did you know he has a half-naked picture of some lady in his bedroom that he keeps locked up?” she said, slurring. “Did he tell you he got a dishonorable discharge from the military for assault and battery?”
Her mother’s forehead creased. “Why, Alexa?” She shook her head. “Stop. Just stop.”
“But I’m serious! I have no clue why you even trust him! He’s a creeper, Mom. It’s so obvious!”
Alexa looked past her mother and saw Ellie standing in the hallway, watching. She had a feeling she was going to regret saying these things tomorrow. But right now she didn’t care.
Rick opened the door and freezing air came rushing in.
“Go home and sober up, Alexa,” her mother said. “We’ll discuss this later.”
Alexa’s heart sank. She wanted to reach out to her mother. To grab her arms and say, “But he is! Believe me, not him!” and “I need help! I don’t know why I do these things. Why I am screwing up so badly tonight? I was trying so, so hard!”
But instead she found herself just glaring at her mother. Then she turned and followed Rick out into the dark, snowy night.
A FEW MINUTES later Alexa sat in Rick’s truck, her mind racing.
The truck was freezing. The cold leather seat pressed against her back, sucking heat from her body.
Rick flipped on the heater, but the loud fan only spit more cold air at her. He backed out of the driveway and began the trek to New Cambridge. She glanced sidelong at him and could see his jaw was set. Maybe from the cold but more likely from trying to hold in his anger.
But he had no right. He had inserted himself into her spot in her family. And as far as she was concerned, this whole mess was his fault.
Well, some of it, anyway.
She tried to piece together the moments that had just happened back at her mother’s house, but it was all already a blur.
Tears pricked at her eyes. Oh, God, please don’t cry. Not in front of him. But she couldn’t control it. She burst into tears.
Rick didn’t say a word. As far as she could tell, he never even looked at her. She wiped the tears from her eyes, then opened the glove compartment to grab some tissues.
But when the little light in the glove compartment blinked on, she didn’t see any tissues. She just saw a pair of thick gloves and some rolled-up cord. Brushing those to the side, she saw something else. Something that glinted beneath the light.
A gun.
Her eyes widened. She’d never been so close to a gun before. Why did he have it in his truck?
“What do you need, Alexa?” Rick asked. His voice was deep, gravelly.
She didn’t know how to answer him. She had completely forgotten what she was looking for.
He reached over and shut the glove compartment door. She stared straight ahead into the night. Fat snowflakes lit up in the headlights, rushing at the truck before being cast away by the windshield wipers. The motions were hypnotic, and Alexa could feel her eyes droop.
And a few miles from her apartment, against her wishes, she felt them close.
CHAPTER 28
HE WAS PULSING with need. Just one more, then he would stop. Things were going so well for him. Better than they ever had. Definitely better than he had expected them to. And he didn’t want to risk everything.
But he needed this tonight.
And he would make it good.
Facebook had taken down Jill’s photo one hour and thirteen minutes after he’d posted it. It took the media four more hours to report her murder . . . and an additional three hours after that to release her name. And it had only taken half that time for his high to dull and for him to feel completely on edge again.
He knew what this was called: escalation.
Snow had come down in a dense flurry earlier in the night and was now blanketing the ground. It glittered on the small patches of grass that bordered every apartment door.
Tonight he was visiting another girl . . . one he’d just started watching recently . . . Trish Underwood . . . and she would be his last.
She and a neighbor had just parked in front of their apartment complex. They’d gone to a New Year’s Eve party and were now getting out of a vehicle. They lingered at the open trunk, pulling out colorful gift bags. Then they laughed as they tried not to slip on the icy pavement.
The neighbor shouted bye and tottered into her apartment, and a few seconds later Trish went into her own.
Trish was another one of those girls who made those horrible kissy duck faces on social media. She was lucky—or maybe terribly unlucky—that she was just so damn beautiful and he was able to overlook it.
He waited a few minutes, then trudged across the pavement and knocked on her door. Almost instantly he heard her unlock the dead bolt. She opened the door. “You forget something?” she asked.
He lunged inside and clamped a gloved hand over her mouth and watched her eyes go wide. He twirled her so that her back was facing him, and as she squirmed, trying to free herself, he closed and locked the door. Then he headed to her bedroom.
“You know you shouldn’t open the door for just anyone. Are you really that stupid?” he seethed.
The palm of his hand tickled as her breath crashed against his skin. She was saying something, and her head was moving side to side.
He saw flashes of red.
He whipped her around again, and now they were facing one another. In the dim light of her room, her big, beautiful blue eyes were pleading.
And she was trying to say something.
“Scream and you’re dead,” he whispered, loosening his grip on her mouth. He pinned her down on the bed and crawled on top of her.
She stared up at him in horror. “Please, no. Please . . . don’t,” she cried, tears glistening in her eyes. “I . . . I don’t understand. What . . . why?”
Why?
“Because,” he whispered, his teeth clenched, “it’s all I can think about.”
She shook her head, and more tears slipped down her face.
He continued, “And because if I don’t do it, I’ll lose my mind.”
Her head went from side to side. “No, please. Don’t. I’ll do anything you want.” She tried to smile, bat her eyes, to convince him. To use her young feminine wiles. The kind that led to creating horrible and unnecessary pain for others. She was trying to exploit his weakness. But sex wasn’t his weakness. “Anything—”
The roaring was back. The screaming . . . slicing his mind.
The mind-bending commotion had come back so quickly he nearly screamed himself. Adrenaline flooding his body, he clamped his hand over her mouth again and reached for the cord. “But I don’t want anything from you . . . but this.”
CHAPTER 29
AS SOON AS she saw the van pull into the parking lot the next night, Alexa began to wonder if she had made a big mistake.
After all, she was pretty certain what Lance would want. She hadn’t needed to read between the lines very much in his texts, and she’d played along.
But she’d said yes when he’d asked to hang out, because she had been incredibly lonely since the scene she’d made at her mother’s New Year’s Eve party the previous night. And she was scared that if she said no, he would stop texting her. Plus maybe, just maybe, it was a small way of getting her mother back . . . for not believing her.
Her mother had blown up her phone that morning with calls and texts, again wanting her to come stay at the house. She said she would turn her office into a bedroom for her to stay in until the guy was caught. When Alexa hadn’t answered her messages, she’d shown up, knocking at the door again. Alexa had pretended not to be there. She wasn’t ready to talk to her yet.
“You never think of anyone but yourself and you know it,” Josh said, his voice raised. “And all that crap you said at dinner about running now and getting a job. You made all that up, too, didn’t you?”
His words stung. “No. It was true.”
“Whatever,” Josh said. They rode in silence for a couple of minutes. When Josh spoke again, his voice was calmer. “He’s a nice guy. Mom likes him. I like him. And Mom really needs someone. She’s lonely, and he makes her happy. Please, leave them alone.” He turned onto the paved road, then glanced at her. “There’s an explanation for everything.”
CHAPTER 27
ON NEW YEAR’S Eve, Diane stood on the deck, staring out over the harbor. Soft, delicate flakes of snow fell as she gazed out at the docks and boats decorated with Christmas lights.
She was still haunted by the caller. Every time she thought about him, her stomach knotted up.
When she’d woken that morning, the pit in her stomach had grown into a sinkhole of worry. She was going to have to talk with Dr. Carol about it. She couldn’t go on like this much longer.
An old Motown tune played inside. Ellie, who had flown in the previous night, had clearly taken charge of the music. Diane thought back on how differently Alexa had handled herself at Christmas dinner. For once she hadn’t seemed angry. Uncomfortable, yes. Stiff and awkward, yes. But her attitude had definitely improved. She’d also said she’d taken up running again and had gotten a job. Diane hoped that was true.
Maybe Diane’s tough love, although short-lived in many ways, had worked. Maybe Alexa was turning her life around. Maybe . . . she would be okay after all. Of course, she still hadn’t apologized, but maybe that would come with a little more time. Right now that hardly seemed important. Her daughter’s safety trumped everything. She would ask her again tonight to come stay at the house. Maybe this time she would say yes.
Diane scanned the yard for the ducks. She hadn’t seen them for a long while.
She glanced back inside at the festive partygoers in her living room. She was having a small, intimate New Year’s Eve gathering. Half a dozen friends Diane had made at the crisis center over the past year, including Mary Kate. She’d even invited Wayne, who was no doubt sharing all the latest hot gossip with everyone. Ellie was laughing with Diane’s landlord, Mr. Davidson, and probably already knew him better than Diane did after a whole year of living here. That was how Ellie operated. Lance had been invited, but so far he hadn’t shown up.
No matter how hard she tried to fake it, Diane just couldn’t get into the party mood. In fact, she never would have thrown a New Year’s Eve party, but Ellie had planned to be in town and had insisted.
She looked back at the dark harbor. Josh had driven to New Cambridge to pick up Alexa, because her car was acting up again, and should be back any minute. There was a good chance of another snowstorm, though, and she worried about them being on the road.
Diane suddenly heard oohs and aahs from the women behind her. She turned to see Rick walking in the front door, carrying a vase of red roses. She felt a smile forming on her face, and suddenly everything seemed a little better.
She walked over to Rick and took the flowers.
“Thank you.”
“Happy new year, beautiful.”
She noticed he was carrying something else in his other hand. “What’s that?”
He held it out. It was a beef bone. “For Prince Biscuit,” he said. “Where is he?”
Diane smiled, loving the fact that he’d also thought about Biscuit, who she’d grown attached to and was now pretty sure she’d be keeping. “Upstairs. My bedroom.”
He looked around at the room. “And your kids?”
“I sent Josh to go pick up Alexa. She’s having car trouble again.” She heard a car pull into the driveway. “I bet that’s them now.”
ALEXA WALKED INTO the foyer with her brother. She didn’t want to come. She would have much preferred to stay buried under her covers watching a movie on her iPhone rather than be forced to hang around with people she didn’t know. People she was certain she wouldn’t like. But she didn’t want to disappoint her mother.
Besides, she had big plans for tonight. She was going to apologize to her mother once and for all. She’d apologize to Josh, too . . . and tick the two most difficult (and important) things off her list.
She scanned the room and saw Ellie already staring at her. She knew Ellie thought she was going to behave like a brat, but she wasn’t. She’d changed. Ellie would see.
She watched her mother make a beeline toward her and Josh. “Thanks for coming.”
Again, a polite, hesitant smile.
Her mother was quickly whisked away by her landlord, who wanted to talk to her about something dull like furnaces or something.
After a few minutes Alexa withdrew from the crowd and hurried upstairs. She needed to take care of something before she did anything else. Her mother’s bedroom door was shut. No doubt because the dog was in there. Alexa walked in and found Biscuit standing at the door, his tail wagging in anticipation. She knelt down and petted him, and he picked up a bone and offered it to her. Then he glanced past her into the hallway and whined.
“Trust me. You’re much better off up here.”
Biscuit looked unconvinced and kept staring past Alexa into the hallway.
Alexa wiped her palms on her jeans, and as she headed downstairs, she heard her mother and Josh in Josh’s bedroom. Her mother was insisting he do a breathing treatment. He’d been coughing up a storm in his Jeep on the way here and really did need one. Knowing she’d have a few minutes unobserved, she headed straight for the kitchen, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.
The kitchen was empty. Thank God.
Privacy.
She had one more thing she needed to do before she could face the night.
On the island, she found something that would work. A bottle of vodka. She had planned to allow herself this little slip.
Just this one.
After all, tonight would be difficult . . . and she was certain even the strongest people in the world let themselves slip sometimes.
She wouldn’t get drunk. She’d just have a little bit. Enough to take the edge off. Besides, who didn’t drink or do pills on New Year’s Eve, right?
She grabbed a red plastic cup and poured it half full with the vodka, then topped it off with Coke, then she went to the half bath. When she emerged from the bathroom several minutes later, half of her drink gone and the other half tucked inside the cabinet beneath the bathroom sink, she noticed a bunch of ladies and the creepy manager from the supermarket gathered around Rick. He was saying something, and they seemed to be hanging on his every word.
She watched him with the others and wondered why everyone seemed so taken with him. Even Josh. And even after what she had told him. It made her angry. Rick had gotten a dishonorable discharge and had that half-naked photo, but for some reason, she was the bad guy.
Fine. She would pretend to like him tonight.
But sometime after tonight, when the time was right, she was going to talk to her mother about what she’d found. Her mother needed to know. She would appreciate knowing.
She found a seat on the arm of the couch and listened to the conversation. Rick was saying something about living off the grid. He talked about gardening, preserving food, natural antibiotics. Everyone seemed so fascinated, but she found it boring. She noticed the supermarket manager looking at her. When their eyes met, he quickly looked away. She could tell he didn’t like her, and she couldn’t blame him. She had been rude that afternoon.
She refocused her attention on Rick and listened quietly, relaxing as the alcohol hit her bloodstream. When it did she felt a burst of joy and began to feel lighter, more confident. She let her eyes travel the room again and noticed her mother was watching her. Alexa smiled at her, and for once it was easy.
The buzz felt so good that after a few minutes she went back to the bathroom and drank down the rest of the drink so she could keep it going.
When she emerged this time, she felt really good. She walked back into the living room and leaned against a wall. Minutes later, voices sounded like they were under water, distant. She watched Josh coughing and her mother leading him upstairs. She heard the words “pneumonia” and “hospital” and “breathing treatment.”
The room started to spin a little. Alexa blinked. She tried to focus on something close to her. Her eyes found a bouquet of roses on the counter. Needing to do something to keep her hands busy, she reached for the card and read it. It was from Rick to her mother.
To new beginnings, it read. Love, Rick.
Gross.
Feeling nauseous, she fumbled to put the card back and lurched forward. As she did, she bumped the vase and watched as it teetered off the edge of the counter. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She grabbed for the falling vase but couldn’t catch it in time, and it crashed to the floor near her feet, the glass shattering loudly.
The party stopped.
Alexa stared down at the mess in front of her. She was too frightened to look up. When she finally did, her mother’s face was pale.
“It was an accident,” she said, feeling bile rise in her throat.
She saw something she didn’t like in her mother’s eyes.
Disbelief.
Her mother didn’t believe her. Alexa felt herself bristle. Suddenly she didn’t want to be there anymore. She turned to head up the stairs to get Josh and ask him to bring her home.
“Alexa?” she heard behind her. It was her mother. “You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?”
She kept walking.
“Alexa,” her mother said, her tone firm. “Where are you going?”
Alexa turned and looked at the floor. “To get Josh. I want to go home.”
“Please. I’d like for you to stay here.”
“I don’t want to stay here,” she said defiantly, “and you can’t make me.”
She wanted her mother to apologize for not believing her. But she didn’t.
“Josh shouldn’t be on the road in this weather,” Rick said. “If she wants to go back to New Cambridge, I’ll drive her.”
Alexa glared at Rick, but when he walked into the foyer, she followed him. When she got to the front door, her mother appeared with her purse.
“I lost my balance!” Alexa shouted. She couldn’t believe her mother didn’t believe her. And she didn’t want to control herself. Not now.
Her mother stood silently, her arms folded across her chest. There was disbelief in her eyes. Alexa’s eyes traveled to Rick, and anger rose to the surface. “He’s not as great as you think, Mom. Did you know he has a half-naked picture of some lady in his bedroom that he keeps locked up?” she said, slurring. “Did he tell you he got a dishonorable discharge from the military for assault and battery?”
Her mother’s forehead creased. “Why, Alexa?” She shook her head. “Stop. Just stop.”
“But I’m serious! I have no clue why you even trust him! He’s a creeper, Mom. It’s so obvious!”
Alexa looked past her mother and saw Ellie standing in the hallway, watching. She had a feeling she was going to regret saying these things tomorrow. But right now she didn’t care.
Rick opened the door and freezing air came rushing in.
“Go home and sober up, Alexa,” her mother said. “We’ll discuss this later.”
Alexa’s heart sank. She wanted to reach out to her mother. To grab her arms and say, “But he is! Believe me, not him!” and “I need help! I don’t know why I do these things. Why I am screwing up so badly tonight? I was trying so, so hard!”
But instead she found herself just glaring at her mother. Then she turned and followed Rick out into the dark, snowy night.
A FEW MINUTES later Alexa sat in Rick’s truck, her mind racing.
The truck was freezing. The cold leather seat pressed against her back, sucking heat from her body.
Rick flipped on the heater, but the loud fan only spit more cold air at her. He backed out of the driveway and began the trek to New Cambridge. She glanced sidelong at him and could see his jaw was set. Maybe from the cold but more likely from trying to hold in his anger.
But he had no right. He had inserted himself into her spot in her family. And as far as she was concerned, this whole mess was his fault.
Well, some of it, anyway.
She tried to piece together the moments that had just happened back at her mother’s house, but it was all already a blur.
Tears pricked at her eyes. Oh, God, please don’t cry. Not in front of him. But she couldn’t control it. She burst into tears.
Rick didn’t say a word. As far as she could tell, he never even looked at her. She wiped the tears from her eyes, then opened the glove compartment to grab some tissues.
But when the little light in the glove compartment blinked on, she didn’t see any tissues. She just saw a pair of thick gloves and some rolled-up cord. Brushing those to the side, she saw something else. Something that glinted beneath the light.
A gun.
Her eyes widened. She’d never been so close to a gun before. Why did he have it in his truck?
“What do you need, Alexa?” Rick asked. His voice was deep, gravelly.
She didn’t know how to answer him. She had completely forgotten what she was looking for.
He reached over and shut the glove compartment door. She stared straight ahead into the night. Fat snowflakes lit up in the headlights, rushing at the truck before being cast away by the windshield wipers. The motions were hypnotic, and Alexa could feel her eyes droop.
And a few miles from her apartment, against her wishes, she felt them close.
CHAPTER 28
HE WAS PULSING with need. Just one more, then he would stop. Things were going so well for him. Better than they ever had. Definitely better than he had expected them to. And he didn’t want to risk everything.
But he needed this tonight.
And he would make it good.
Facebook had taken down Jill’s photo one hour and thirteen minutes after he’d posted it. It took the media four more hours to report her murder . . . and an additional three hours after that to release her name. And it had only taken half that time for his high to dull and for him to feel completely on edge again.
He knew what this was called: escalation.
Snow had come down in a dense flurry earlier in the night and was now blanketing the ground. It glittered on the small patches of grass that bordered every apartment door.
Tonight he was visiting another girl . . . one he’d just started watching recently . . . Trish Underwood . . . and she would be his last.
She and a neighbor had just parked in front of their apartment complex. They’d gone to a New Year’s Eve party and were now getting out of a vehicle. They lingered at the open trunk, pulling out colorful gift bags. Then they laughed as they tried not to slip on the icy pavement.
The neighbor shouted bye and tottered into her apartment, and a few seconds later Trish went into her own.
Trish was another one of those girls who made those horrible kissy duck faces on social media. She was lucky—or maybe terribly unlucky—that she was just so damn beautiful and he was able to overlook it.
He waited a few minutes, then trudged across the pavement and knocked on her door. Almost instantly he heard her unlock the dead bolt. She opened the door. “You forget something?” she asked.
He lunged inside and clamped a gloved hand over her mouth and watched her eyes go wide. He twirled her so that her back was facing him, and as she squirmed, trying to free herself, he closed and locked the door. Then he headed to her bedroom.
“You know you shouldn’t open the door for just anyone. Are you really that stupid?” he seethed.
The palm of his hand tickled as her breath crashed against his skin. She was saying something, and her head was moving side to side.
He saw flashes of red.
He whipped her around again, and now they were facing one another. In the dim light of her room, her big, beautiful blue eyes were pleading.
And she was trying to say something.
“Scream and you’re dead,” he whispered, loosening his grip on her mouth. He pinned her down on the bed and crawled on top of her.
She stared up at him in horror. “Please, no. Please . . . don’t,” she cried, tears glistening in her eyes. “I . . . I don’t understand. What . . . why?”
Why?
“Because,” he whispered, his teeth clenched, “it’s all I can think about.”
She shook her head, and more tears slipped down her face.
He continued, “And because if I don’t do it, I’ll lose my mind.”
Her head went from side to side. “No, please. Don’t. I’ll do anything you want.” She tried to smile, bat her eyes, to convince him. To use her young feminine wiles. The kind that led to creating horrible and unnecessary pain for others. She was trying to exploit his weakness. But sex wasn’t his weakness. “Anything—”
The roaring was back. The screaming . . . slicing his mind.
The mind-bending commotion had come back so quickly he nearly screamed himself. Adrenaline flooding his body, he clamped his hand over her mouth again and reached for the cord. “But I don’t want anything from you . . . but this.”
CHAPTER 29
AS SOON AS she saw the van pull into the parking lot the next night, Alexa began to wonder if she had made a big mistake.
After all, she was pretty certain what Lance would want. She hadn’t needed to read between the lines very much in his texts, and she’d played along.
But she’d said yes when he’d asked to hang out, because she had been incredibly lonely since the scene she’d made at her mother’s New Year’s Eve party the previous night. And she was scared that if she said no, he would stop texting her. Plus maybe, just maybe, it was a small way of getting her mother back . . . for not believing her.
Her mother had blown up her phone that morning with calls and texts, again wanting her to come stay at the house. She said she would turn her office into a bedroom for her to stay in until the guy was caught. When Alexa hadn’t answered her messages, she’d shown up, knocking at the door again. Alexa had pretended not to be there. She wasn’t ready to talk to her yet.
