Words on Fire, page 7
Lukas muttered to me under his breath, “Audra, meet Ben. You’ve caught him on one of his better days.”
I gasped and started to dodge out of the way, but Lukas took my hand and pulled me with him toward the wagon, stepping aside barely in time to clear the horses.
Ben slowed long enough to direct his attention to Lukas. “Get on or get run over, I don’t much care which!”
“She has to come,” Lukas said.
I protested, but Lukas must not have heard me. Instead, the instant Ben flicked his eyes at me and nodded, Lukas grabbed me by the waist and half tossed me onto the back of the wagon, then jumped on himself almost at the last minute as the wagon burst into full speed.
I scrambled deeper into the wagon, which was filled with bundles of hay. I pushed through them and felt something hard at my feet—books, I assumed. Of course they’d be books. No wonder I’d seen so few of them in my lifetime. Milda and Ben must have hoarded all the books in Lithuania. Lukas raised the back of the wagon’s gate and latched it, shutting us in.
“Grab a corner,” Ben said. I had to stand to catch the canvas, but a burst of wind tossed it out of my reach, and I stumbled, nearly losing my balance as our wagon tilted on two wheels around a bend in the road. Then Lukas caught an edge of the fabric, which brought my corner into control. Together we tucked the ends around the straw, and Ben tossed us some rope to tie everything down.
“Now sit down like you belong there,” he said. “And whistle if we’re being followed.”
Of course we were being followed. Why else would he have rushed us out of town like that?
“Who’s the girl?” Ben asked. Lukas started to answer for me but Ben said, “Doesn’t her voice work?”
I rolled my eyes at being forced to speak when Lukas was doing a fine job of it. “My name is Audra.”
“No last name?”
Milda had warned me against using my last name, and even if Lukas knew Ben, I didn’t, nor did I particularly trust either of them—not yet.
“Just Audra,” I said.
But the driver only looked me over and said, “She looks like the daughter of Henri Zikaris. Same eyes.”
My head whipped back at him. “You know my family too?”
“All book carriers knew your parents.”
“They’re still alive.” When I got no response, I repeated that, then added, “And I’m working on a plan to get them back again.”
He shrugged. “It’ll never work. Even if it could, you won’t be involved. I’m dropping you off at the next town, as a favor to your father.”
“I’m supposed to stay with her,” Lukas said.
“Then I’ll drop you both off,” Ben said without missing a beat. “You’re too young for this as well.” Then he glanced back at me. “Why are you here anyway? Your parents wanted you kept out of this business.”
I closed my eyes, wishing he wouldn’t talk about them as if they were dead. They weren’t. And I didn’t appreciate him brushing off my talk of a plan to get them back as if it was just the silly idea of a young girl.
Unless it was just a silly idea. No single book could possibly be as valuable as my parents’ lives.
“So you never knew?” Lukas asked. “Until now, you never knew about your parents’ work?”
“I knew a little,” I said, which wasn’t quite true. And I wasn’t at all happy that Lukas and Ben seemed to know far more about my parents than I ever had.
“Well, no matter,” Lukas said, smiling. “I think you’ll be quite good at smuggling.”
I had no plans to smuggle long enough to become good at it—I had only agreed to this one delivery in honor of my parents. I sat up straight, for the first time remembering the book I carried. It was still in the sack slung from my shoulders. “We’ve got to hide this one too.”
“Agreed.” Lukas looked around. We’d left the town behind and were headed north. Where had the soldiers said they were going to search for any signs of trouble?
Here. They were searching here.
“Something’s wrong,” I whispered.
Maybe the trouble was Ben’s doing, or mine, or maybe it had nothing to do with us, but we would be swept up in it anyway. The Cossacks would be happy to nab anyone they considered in violation of the law.
When it didn’t appear that Ben had heard me, in a louder voice, I said, “We’ve got to go back.”
“Can’t go back,” Ben said. “Somewhere behind us is an entire regiment of Cossacks.”
“Then get off the road!”
“This wagon wouldn’t get far through the woods.” Lukas’s brow pressed low. “If you’re afraid—”
I was plenty afraid, but that wasn’t the reason I wanted off this wagon. No, my fear came from what I was about to do, what I had to do if we were going to get through the next few minutes.
Before Lukas could finish his thought, I pulled the book out of the sack of fabric and tossed it at Lukas, then jumped from the side of the wagon with the sack in my arms. Alarmed by my sudden actions, Ben pulled up on the reins, but I said, “Let me go on ahead. After three minutes, you can follow me.”
He gave me a quizzical expression but halted the horses. I slung the sack over my shoulders again, with my father’s shoulder bag beneath that, then continued on down the lane. I’d only rounded the second bend before a voice called out in Russian for me to stop. And I did.
Six soldiers on horseback were waiting by the roadside. I scanned them from one end to the other, increasingly certain that I’d made a terrible mistake. By the time I reached the final man, I knew this was worse than a mistake. It was a disaster.
Officer Rusakov was staring at me, brows pressed low. It hadn’t yet been even two weeks since he had arrested my parents, burned my home, and chased me into the woods. Would he recognize me? Ben had known who my parents were on his first glance at my face; was it that obvious who I was?
Rusakov had already seen me coming, and his eyes narrowed as he directed his horse to the center of the road to intercept me. Maybe he didn’t know who I was. Maybe he looked at everyone that way—like they were a criminal. A fugitive. Was that what I was now?
He’d only seen me from behind as I ran from him, and only for a brief moment.
But he had seen me.
My knees went wobbly, but if I tried to run now, that would be an absolute admission of my guilt. And besides, less than three minutes behind me, Ben and Lukas were about to pass along this very road with a wagon full of books. I thought again of my parents, and especially my father, who I guessed had done the actual transport of books. What would he do right now?
Magic. My father would do magic. I wished I knew a disappearance trick, either to make the soldiers vanish or me, I really didn’t care which.
Rusakov addressed me in that same low voice that had haunted my dreams every night for the past two weeks. “Do I know you?” His brows were pressed low, already suspecting I intended to lie to him. That had been the plan, but I was so nervous, I’d give myself away if I lied. I’d have to play carefully with the truth.
“We’ve never met,” I said. And if we had met, I’d be dead right now.
“Which village are you from?”
I tilted my head back to where I’d just been. “That one.” Whatever its name. I felt foolish for not having bothered to ask for the place’s name.
He was staring at me so closely that I wished I could melt away to nothing. Could he hear the pounding of my heart? Did he know the true reason my breaths were coming in such quick gasps? Rusakov dismounted and walked a full circle around me with his arms folded.
“Your blouse has dirt stains … perhaps from the forest?”
“It’s the only dress I own. I’m sure it’s stained from many things.” At least I had the new apron from Milda. Otherwise, he’d have been sure to recognize me.
“And what are you doing out here?”
I slid the sack off my shoulder and dug into it, pulling out a handful of scraps for him to see. “Would you care to buy these? I’m not allowed home until I’ve sold them all.”
Rusakov frowned and yanked the sack out of my hands. He pushed one arm downward through the fabric while with the other hand he felt around the outside of the bottom of the bag. He could search all he wanted—the book wasn’t there anymore. When he failed to find anything, he shoved the sack back at me.
But it hardly meant I was out of trouble. “You say you’re not allowed home until all of these have sold? Where is your home?”
“Back in the—”
“Who are your parents?”
My mind went blank. I had no idea what to say or do. Nor did he need my answer.
“You are Miss Zikaris,” he said. “You used to live on a farm near Šiluva.”
I began trembling, so much that he surely could see. The corner of his lip curled.
“Your parents have been given a life sentence in Siberia,” Rusakov said. “They’ll leave on the next train, in two days, and you will never see them again.”
“Please, sir—”
“What would you give to bring them home? What would you do?”
“Anything. Please.”
He arched a brow. “Anything? I wonder if that’s true.” His eye flicked past me to the road. Ben’s wagon was only around the bend now. Within seconds, he would come into view. Rusakov crouched down to look directly at me. “Are those your friends coming? Did they send you here to distract me?”
“I … I don’t know who’s coming,” I said.
“If that were true, you would not look back with such fear.” I realized I’d been doing that very thing and forced myself to turn to Rusakov again as he said, “I am going to let them pass, I’ll let them think I’ve been fooled by a silly girl like yourself. And I’ll do this because you are new and need time for what I’m asking. I am looking for a boy near your age, a smuggler like you. He has given me a great deal of trouble.”
Lukas. He was looking for Lukas, who was headed directly our way right now!
Rusakov continued, “Within two days, I want you to meet me here with that boy’s name and any information you have on how to find him. Do this and I will release your parents. They will come back to you and you can be a family again. If you are not here to meet me in two days, then you will spend the rest of your life wondering how long they were able to survive in Siberia, if they even made it there alive. Or you will get the answer for yourself when I arrest you for book smuggling and give you the same punishment.” Ben’s horses rounded the corner. “Do I make myself clear?”
I couldn’t speak, so I merely nodded and tried to hold back my tears.
By then, Ben’s wagon itself had come into view, but I only saw Ben, whistling a tune and smiling as if he hadn’t a care in the world. If Lukas was still with him, then he must have been hiding beneath the fabric to throw off any suspicion about the books. Either that, or he knew Officer Rusakov was after him.
“Halt!” Rusakov ordered, walking to the center of the road to stop Ben, who pulled up on the reins and tried not to look at me from his unpatched eye. “What are you carrying?”
“A delivery of straw for a farmer in Šiauliai.” Ben spoke as if he was bored, as if he’d been through searches like this many times, and maybe he had. But never exactly like this.
Rusakov put a hand on my shoulder. “This poor girl is attempting to sell fabric scraps. Would you take her as far as Šiauliai with you? I think she may have some luck there.”
Ben’s head tilted, surprised at the luck he thought he was receiving. If only he knew. If only he knew.
Ben offered me a hand to climb beside him onto the wagon seat, though I couldn’t even look at him. Once we left these soldiers behind, he’d congratulate me on creating a story that turned their suspicions, when in reality, I’d done just the opposite.
Instead, I’d have to tell Ben the truth, that Rusakov had offered me a way to save my parents.
Or …
I’d tell him a lie, let him believe that I had created a story so that the soldiers let us pass by without being searched. I’d lie, at least until I figured out what to do about Lukas.
Ben dipped his head humbly toward the Cossack officers. “As you wish, sir.”
I kept my head down as we drove away, completely drained of any strength I might have had and exhausted from the effort of pretending to be brave for so long.
A full kilometer ahead, Ben finally stopped the wagon so that Lukas could come out from beneath the canvas. They both faced Ben and me gave me a deep nod of respect. “You have your parents’ blood indeed. Perhaps one day, when you are much older, you can become a book carrier.”
I lowered my eyes, deeply ashamed of myself for considering Rusakov’s offer. Ben was praising me for saving books, even as I was deciding whether to turn in a person who smuggled them. It was wrong; I knew it was wrong. But wasn’t it also wrong to refuse to help my parents—even to save their lives—when it was possible to do so?
Yes, it was still wrong.
This was horrible, and I had no idea what to do about it.
Lukas grinned over at me, but said to Ben, “I prefer the term ‘book smuggler.’ Anyone can carry a book, but smuggling is an art.”
“Smuggling is a crime,” Ben countered. “Carrying is noble.”
“Then let Audra be noble with us. She’s good, Ben. I’ve seen her and she’s got good instincts.”
“She’ll have those same instincts when she’s older.” Ben turned around to face the road again. “After this delivery, we’re taking her back to Milda’s. This is too dangerous for a young girl.”
“It’s too dangerous for all of us,” Lukas said. “But we have good reasons for doing it.”
I had my own reasons for continuing to smuggle—within two days, I could bring my parents back home.
And I had better reasons for jumping from this wagon and running as far away as I could from the books, from Lukas, and from that cruel Officer Rusakov. That’s what I should do. Run from a decision I didn’t want to make because any decision I made would be awful.
But I didn’t run. Instead, I lowered my eyes and said, “Let me keep smuggling.”
If Ben heard me, he said nothing. I took his silence as a yes.
As we continued on our ride that afternoon, Lukas seemed to sense my thoughts were heavier than usual. He leaned forward. “There’s a story for when you’re in a mood like this.”
“No, there’s not.”
“There is, trust me.” Lukas smiled and began, “Do you remember the story of Rue, the beautiful daughter of the wealthy man who was injured by the overturned cart?”
“Of course.”
“Well, because of his injuries, the man was confined to his bed for a very long time, so much that Rue had to take charge of his estate. Her father had a great deal of land and she knew nothing of how to manage it all. Finally, she thought of the bear and wondered if he was still waiting in the forest for her to come. The bear had seen her father manage the estate for years, so she was certain he must know what to do.”
“Was he there?” I asked.
“Yes, because he hoped if he was patient, that Rue would eventually come.” Lukas leaned in. “The bear knew of a peasant boy who lived on the land, a boy who had worked on that estate for his entire life. He told Rue to trust the boy, which, naturally, Rue could only do if she also trusted the bear. But the bear had saved her father, so Rue decided to trust them both.”
I sighed. “And the boy saved the estate for her?”
Lukas grinned. “No, the boy had his own troubles. But he taught Rue everything he knew so that she could run the estate until her father returned.”
My eyes narrowed. “ ‘Returned’? You mean until her father recovered.”
“If you wish.”
I nodded at him, then looked away, ending his telling of the story. I was pretty sure he had made up all of it, and if he had hoped to make me feel better, it worked, maybe a little.
Thankfully, there were no more problems that afternoon, and by evening, we ended up in front of a church in Šiauliai, a beautiful white building with a tower in front that seemed to stretch to the sky. As if he had been expecting our arrival, almost immediately a priest in long black robes walked out front and followed my gaze. “It’s impressive now. But probably around the time you were born, it was struck with lightning. Destroyed a most precious clock, so few people in this town ever know what time it is. Except we all know it is time for the Cossacks to leave, no?”
He started to laugh at his joke, but Ben only grunted. “Enough talking. We need to get inside.”
“Of course.” The priest pointed to some stables near the church. “I believe your delivery of straw belongs there.” He winked at me as he spoke.
“The church is smuggling too?” I was genuinely surprised that men who preached of honesty and obedience on the Sabbath day would spend the other days of the week breaking the law and encouraging others to do the same. The priest gave me a knowing smile, then walked ahead of us.
Once we had ridden into the stables, Lukas began tugging at the canvas covering the straw, preparing for us to unload the wagon, so I did the same. As we worked, he said, “It was the priests who started the book smuggling. When their prayer books were banned and burned, what else could they do? It wasn’t about breaking the law; it was about protecting the right to pray.”
I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer of my own. Maybe Lukas was a thief and he certainly was a smuggler, but he was also a nice person who seemed to have a good heart. Whatever he had done, it couldn’t be awful enough to deserve the punishment Rusakov surely had in mind for him.
But nor did my parents deserve their punishment.
And I could not save them any other way. There was no other way.
Lukas dug through the books below us and found a thin one with a large printed A on the cover, the same as my name. “You take this book—it’s yours.”
