Flames on Water, page 12
part #1 of God of Dust Series
Fal listened to himself, remembering saying those words even though he could not picture the event that he spoke of.
His father sighed and sat on one of the rickety wooden chairs near the table. He held out a hand and Fal’s child-self ran up to him and buried his face in his thick woollen coat.
‘My little boy, violence is never the way to get people to like you.’
‘I don’t want her to like me anymore.’
‘Because she has hurt you, doesn’t that prove my point?’ His father scooped him up and held him on his lap yet, to Fal’s frustration, he could still not see his face.
‘Everyone needs a friend. Just try and be nice to someone. I don’t want to hear any more stories about you hurting girls, alright?’
The memory ended as abruptly as it had started and left Fal with the same feeling of disorientation and frustration. He looked down at Ellen and quickly lowered the voltage of her bindings.
‘You are not a girl, you’re not even human,’ he said to himself, as if he could defy the memory of his father. But then he remembered what that blue-haired man, Alex, had said. Ellen may be a monster, but so was he.
‘It’s not your fault,’ he realised, suddenly grave. ‘You haven’t a mind of your own anymore. It isn’t our fault we have been so distorted.’
He sat down awkwardly. Slowly, and carefully he eased the dagger out of his leg and tossed it aside. Then he tore the scarf from his neck and bandaged up his wound as well as he could.
Then he turned to look at the little pale soul he had rescued.
‘I bet you want a swipe at me too,’ he said, ‘everything in this world does.’ The little creature didn’t move. He would have to heal her soon, her wounds looked serious. He needed to keep her conscious or she may just slip away.
‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’ he snapped, concerned when she made no response. If she lost the will to keep fighting for life there would be no saving her.
‘I killed your friends,’ he said, anxious to make her react. The creature’s eyes opened and it turned to face him. Pleased to get some response Fal continued.
‘The Angel made me work with another soul. We took a blue-haired man’s body but I convinced her to keep him alive. I think his name was Alex.’ At this point the soul was struggling to sit up despite her wounds. Fal admired her determination and decided she may be a worthy adversary if he could heal her up. He had only ever fought human-shaped souls before, to fight her would be interesting.
‘The first thing I see when I opened Alex’s eyes was this man in a red shirt staring down at me,’ he continued, ‘He would have noticed my black eyes instantly so,’ he mimed the sword thrust that had killed the other man, ‘it was instinct really. Then there was that weak little boy. It was his own idiotic behaviour which cost him his arm. I don’t know if he died or not, but he won’t be doing magic again.’
‘What did this boy look like?’
To Fal’s surprise the little animal talked with the voice of a young woman. She had not managed to pull herself upright but twisted her body so that she could look up at him. Fal thought back.
‘He was young looking, with big blue eyes,’ he said, remembering his satisfaction when those eyes had turned red, ‘he was an earth type, but his attacks were so old fashioned.’
The little spirit had managed to haul herself to her feet as he spoke. He watched her carefully. When she attempted to run out of the tree, he quickly dived towards her and caught her easily.
‘What is it with you people and completely irrational behaviour,’ he growled, wincing at the pain in his leg. ‘If you go out there you will die. There is no one nearby who would heal you. The woods are full of Murgore’s servants who will kill you on sight!’
‘I don’t care,’ she cried, ‘I have to know for sure that he is dead! Let go of me, murderer!’
‘Fine I will let you go, but you must let me heal you first. Once you have run away, I can’t follow you, Ellen there has made sure of that,’ he said turning to glower at her. Ellen had managed to pull herself into a sitting position, though her wrists and feet remained fastened to the floor by his spell.
‘You would heal a hostile soul before yourself?’ she panted staring at him in blank confusion. ‘She will kill you.’
‘Looks like you are well enough to talk, so I guess you won’t be dying on me anytime soon. That’s good,’ he shrugged then turned his attention back to the other soul.
‘So, are you going to stay? As Ellen says you could probably kill me once I have healed you.’
‘Why are you doing this?’ she asked.
‘Why not? Because I feel like it. I have no fear, so I don’t care if you want to try and fight me after I heal you. After all everyone else in this world is going to want me dead, so why not fight you first?’
‘I won’t just fight you, I will kill you for what you’ve done!’ she snapped.
‘That will make you a killer too,’ he laughed, ‘Oh, but you are already a murderer aren’t you?’ he said softly, grinning. ‘I can see it in your eyes, how many people did you take down before Ellen made you run?’
‘How dare you compare us,’ she cried angrily, ‘I fight because I have to-’
‘You think I don’t have to?’ Fal interrupted sharply. ‘You think I want to kill? Do you honestly think you are different from me?’
Fal didn’t expect an answer and he got none. He resisted the urge to drop her and placed her gently on the floor instead. He was proud with himself for his self-control. With those wounds she really couldn’t take any rough treatment. Still he couldn’t bring himself to heal her right now, not after that. He struggled to his feet and limped closer to Ellen. Her breathing was heavy and her wounds more numerous than he had realised. Cursing softly Fal struggled with the healing symbol. He knew he was a poor healer, it had never been easy for him, but if he didn’t do something Ellen would die. Then he may never remember his past again. With some effort he managed to close up Ellen’s biggest wounds. It took longer than he would like and he was very aware that the spell would fade before too long and he would have to start all over again. He sat back to get his strength back.
‘Why don’t you heal yourself?’ Ellen asked in a whisper. Fal was surprised and pleased. Most of the warriors he had seen in the past could not have asked questions. They had lost too much humanity and acted only on orders, like puppets. He had expected Ellen to be the same.
‘So, you have some curiosity! Then you must have some humanity. The answer is, my wound simply isn’t life threatening. Your wounds could kill you within hours.’
‘Your wound would be life threatening if you needed to escape, you can hardly stand on it,’ Ellen pointed out in the same quiet monotone.
‘If I didn’t know better, I may even think you were concerned about me,’ Fal smiled. ‘Oh, while we’re on the subject of curiosity,’ he said turning back to the little animal soul, ‘I would like to know, why is your soul that shape?’ He got only a glower in response. ‘Oh, come on! I am saving your life; you could at least answer a few innocent little questions.’
‘It was just the last real body I was in,’ the spirit muttered, looking away.
‘Real body? Oh, I see. Your body was magic-made.’
The other spirit fell silent.
‘Fine, I guess you don’t want to talk about that,’ Fal shrugged, ‘but surely you can tell me what the name of that shape is?’
‘A rabbit,’ was the grudging response.
‘Are they like Breon, then?’ Fal asked swiftly.
‘Well yes, I guess so, but why does that matter?’
‘It shows you are from Ennua,’ Fal smirked.
Then he turned away frowning, his hand twisting the crystal on its rope round his neck. When had he remembered about Breon?
Chapter Nineteen
Self-slaughter
Ethan walked behind Layla as she approached Iza, making sure to close, just encase anything happened.
‘I know we haven’t known each other long, and that it is unfair of me, but I need to ask you a favour,’ Iza said softly.
‘It’s alright Iza,’ Layla answered quickly. ‘I am willing to learn how to crystallise your memories, but you said this is a custom for when people are about to die. What makes you so sure you won’t make it?’
Iza looked at Ethan. He could not bring himself to reassure her. After all there was no knowing what would happen to her. He didn’t want to give her any false hope. Layla had followed Iza’s gaze and was staring at him.
‘Why would she die Ethan? Didn’t you heal her?’
He could hear the accusation in her voice and frowned, guilt twisting painfully inside him. How dare she judge him like that, as if it was his fault! He was struggled to control his temper. ‘Look, it’s not up to me. Our leader, Argent, will decide. You know this is a war! We can’t just trust an enemy right away. She is a Guard rank, both powerful and dangerous.’
The expression on Layla’s face said it all. She thought he was a murderer. He turned away, frustrated. Let her judge me, as if she could understand.
‘Layla don’t be angry with your friend; he tells the truth. Most of Murgore’s slaves have no emotions and wouldn’t think twice about killing any of you. His people have had many bad experiences of them and cannot be blamed for thinking they are all puppets. Most of them are.’
‘But it is so unfair!’ Lyla exclaimed angrily. ‘You are not like the rest of them, anyone could see that.’
Iza smiled sadly.
‘I appreciate your concern, but please just listen to me. I don’t know how much time I have,’ She said quietly. Layla nodded quickly and sat on the floor beside Iza, her back to Ethan. He sighed and sat down behind her.
‘I told your friend about my people’s ability to crystallise memories,’ Iza began quickly, ‘I have managed to keep several memories safe that way; and by several, I mean more than just my own. Murgore would wipe the memory of anyone entering his cities. Most people didn’t have any choice. If they did not manage to kill themselves before Murgore’s army got to them, they were captured and dragged before him. A few of the people from my tribe knew what would happen and crystallised each other’s memories. All magic can be crystallised. Souls are made from magic, and memories are simply part of your soul.’ Iza explained. ‘We threw our memories over the walls of Murgore’s crimson city, hoping to collect them later. We wrote messages to ourselves telling us to look for them, but everything was taken from us, and I mean everything. We were given new clothes, new bodies and even new names. I was the only one who had thought of writing a message to myself on my own soul. Even then it was a few years before I found this message and longer still before I managed to find the crystals. It was a miracle they were still there.
For a long time, I tried to work out how to keep them safe. I hid them in my body at first, but then I discovered a way to place the crystals inside my soul without them being absorbed. After that I tried to give them back to their owners, but it is not enough to simply hold on to your memory crystal. Memories may be able to leak through to you, gradually, with the right triggers, but you need to absorb them from the crystal to properly regain them. It is just like drawing magic into yourself to power a spell.’
‘Why didn’t you just tell them to do that?’ Layla asked. Ethan had been wondering that as well, but hadn’t wanted to interrupt. He was glad Layla had asked.
‘Communication was very restricted in the Angel’s city,’ Iza explained, ‘Even if I had managed to tell them, it was likely they would have reported it the Angel before doing as I had asked. Then all the crystals would have been taken. Without their memories, and with their emotions affected, they were all fiercely loyal to Murgore. Their souls were weakened by their lack of memory and they succumbed to the illness fast.’
‘The illness?’
‘I don’t know what else to call it. They lost their humanity. No one really knows why or how. Some say it was badly made bodies,’
‘Couldn’t you have just ordered them to absorb from their crystal? I mean Guard is quite a high rank, right?’ Ethan asked.
‘I did once...’
‘What happened?’
‘His name was Hannas. He was a young man working with Kaiden in the library. There are never many people in those old libraries so I managed to get him alone,’ she hesitated. ‘When he absorbed his memories all his emotions returned to his soul.’
‘Well that’s good, isn’t it?’ Ethan asked, confused by Iza’s grim expression.
‘Emotions are a heavy burden to bear, especially when you have been without them. Hannas remembered all he had lost and felt the guilt of everything he had done. He couldn’t take it,’ she said bitterly.
‘He killed himself?’ Ethan asked in surprise and dismay. Iza nodded.
‘But wait a moment, there is something I don’t understand,’ Layla said. ‘If Kaiden’s soul is weakened by not having memories, like the others, why does he still have emotions?’
Iza shrugged and shook her head.
‘He doesn’t have many left now. I know Kaiden lost his fear, and he seemed to lose even his anger and his happiness over time. All his emotions were diluted, gradually, as if he were in a daze. I could do nothing but watch him lose his humanity. I was too afraid that he would turn out...like Hannas.
I do not know how he has managed to slow the process so much. No one is really sure why the degradation happens, but I believe it has something to do with magic. You have seen Ennua, Layla, it has very little life, and the flow of magic has practically disappeared. As such magic is a rare and valuable commodity. High ranking souls like Hunters and Guards are given chunks of crystallised magic to draw from when we need them. I gave mine to Kaiden, hoping that if anyone ever discovered the memory crystals I kept, they would just think they were normal crystals of magic. I think these magic crystals may have helped strengthen his soul. As for me...I was lucky to Guard places where there was a large amount of magical energy. That would explain why it was always the Guards that kept their humanity the longest. But even I am not free from the illness. I just abandoned him, when he needed my help. Please, one of you, release just one of my arms so I can take the memory crystals from my soul.’
Ethan tried to grab Layla but she was faster. With a surprisingly strong kick she broke the icicle encasing Iza’s left arm. Quickly Ethan pulled Layla back and put himself between her and Iza, protectively.
‘Ethan,’ said Iza gently, ‘you know Quartz is no healer. In a few hours her healing spell will wear off and I will be near death. I am resigned to it. You have nothing to fear from me.’ She pressed her hand against her chest, whispered a few words and her hand passed through, vanishing into her as if she had been made of water. Ethan flinched at the unnaturalness of the gesture but he made sure to carefully watch her every move.
‘Here,’ she said, holding out a beautiful red gem. Before he could stop her, Layla had reached around him and grabbed hold of it. She glowered at him defiantly. Ethan sighed; how could he show her he wasn’t the bad guy?
He turned to Iza.
‘You said you wanted to show someone your life story for some sort of tradition,’ he reminded her. Iza smiled.
‘My main reason for talking with Layla was to give her that memory crystal. It is Kaiden’s. I do not want it to be lost when I die,’ she explained. She must have known that Quartz would not have the patience to watch her whole life story Ethan realised. She lied, to make Quartz leave.
‘I really would like to share some memories with you both, so they are not forgotten,’ Iza continued, ‘but I didn’t expect I would be allowed to do it. You see, to show you my memory I will need you to cast a Shield in front of me. Then I will pour my memories onto it. It looks a lot like casting a spell, one you would not be familiar with, and so I thought you would probably stop me.’ Aware that Layla was watching him Ethan shrugged.
‘They all say I’m too trusting, so I guess I can afford to live up to their expectations,’ he sighed. ‘Shield.’
The thin golden shield rippled into existence in front of Iza. Not being a shield type, Ethan’s shields were brittle and weak but Iza made no comment. She reached forward with her free arm and touched it gently with her fingertips. The golden colour drained away from it, towards her outstretched hand. The shield became grey then white, and lost its transparency. Ethan edged backwards nervously. He had never seen magic like this. Now he realised why Iza had thought he would stop her.
Images started to swim into focus on the shield, which now acted as a screen. They glowed softly, casting patterns of shadow across the room. Slowly shapes came into focus. A valley between towering mountains, their slopes shimmered as the wind brushed the long grasses, spreading waves and ripples across the contours of the land. Then the image was replaced by a village. A large village, with solid red-stone buildings and thick thatched rooves.
Ethan found himself transfixed by the screen. The architecture was so familiar. He had almost forgotten that distinctive form of carving, or the intricate clay-work that adorned public buildings. It had been so long since he had seen his homeland. Ethan realised that he had not even thought about it for years. He had not wanted to revisit the painful memories and unearth the familiar feeling of loss once again. As he watched Iza’s memories Ethan realised that everything he was seeing no longer existed. All these people that Iza had seen would no longer be themselves. Those deep turquoise forests would be a barren wilderness. That lively trading town would be deserted. He began to realise why Iza wanted these memories to be passed on to someone. Memories were all that was left to prove these places, these people, had ever existed. He felt guilty for shutting away his own memories for so long. How much had he forgotten? Could he remember the faces of people he had known ten years ago as clearly as Iza? Could he remember what his house used to look like, or his school? He owed it to his family and his friends to remember them, no matter how painful it was.
