Inevitable, page 12
A few interconnecting alleys led deeper into the urban labyrinth, but Nathan took a quick right and found himself directly behind the shop building. There were a few garbage cans, some stacks of papers on the ground, and a narrow cement stairwell leading to the basement. A solid black door waited at the bottom.
Nathan stood at the top, taking a few deep breaths. He knew he was making a mistake, but he couldn’t be sure like I could, and so he started down into the dark. Wrapping his knuckles against the door, he waited until a small slider opened to reveal a pair of eyes.
“What do you want?” the voice growled.
“I’m here about some work,” he answered, and the slider closed. The sound of unlocking bolts caught his ear and then the door creaked open. Red carpet, display cases, dim lights, some kind of store operated from down here. The large doorman gave him room to enter, but Nathan barely stepped inside.
A half dozen guys were spread about the smoky room, some of them talking in pairs, others sifting through packages. The doorman eyed him warily. Most of the people turned to take a look at him, expecting him to do something, but Nathan didn’t know what to do.
“Hey, you here about a job?” one guy screeched, his voice shrill and harsh. That’s when Nathan was able to glance into a display case in the center of the room. It had guns and knives in it. He saw some flat-screen TV’s against the far wall. One of the guys was sharpening a knife. The whole scene screamed of danger. Nathan had tried not to think about what he would do if they asked him to steal, but it was very possible they were killing people, or worse.
“No…” Nathan stammered, trying to back up, but the doorman was in his way.
“Who sent you?” the same man shouted.
“No one,” Nathan said, trying to squirm around the doorman, who put his hand on Nathan’s shoulder.
“You know we can’t let you leave, right?” somebody said.
Nathan slammed his elbow into the doorman, knocking him over into the bottom of the stairwell. The other men immediately jumped to their feet and pursued Nathan as he trampled the doorman and flew up the stairs. He raced back the way he came, and the other guys erupted from the basement behind him.
Nathan had only gotten to the end of the building when he realized he’d never make it to his car without them catching him first. He’d have to lose them and go back for it, or just find another way to get home. Rather than turning for the street, he swerved to the right down another alley.
The sound of pounding footsteps echoed behind him. There was no way they would just let him go after he’d stumbled into their lair. Nathan took another quick turn, racing as fast as he could despite having no idea where he was going. It was dark and there was nobody else in the alleys, but he ran as fast as he could, building after building whipping by him.
“Give it up, kid!” one of them shouted. They were closing in, and Nathan didn’t know how long he could outlast them. He burst from an alley into a sidestreet, causing one car to slam on the brakes. Gasping, Nathan put his hands out but kept running for another sliver between the buildings on the other side. Glancing desperately over his shoulder, he glimpsed the five guys trailing him in varying distances. The streetlight glimmered against the side of a knife.
Nathan had crossed the street and slipped into another block full of tall apartment buildings. He was losing his bearings, no longer completely sure how he’d make it back to his car. He’d passed a subway stop, but that didn’t look like a good option either when they were breathing down his neck.
Up ahead there was an intersection of alleys, and Nathan prayed a couple of quick turns would allow him to disappear. The only question was whether he should turn left or right, but I already knew he had it in mind to turn right, which would force him along a dogleg leading to a dead end.
Let me tell you what happens when Nathan turns right, and it should explain why I was tearing myself apart with the thought of getting involved. When Nathan turns right and is trapped against an unyielding brick wall, the men who are chasing him don’t kill him, but they beat him to within an inch of his life. He spends night after night in the hospital, and needs crutches after he’s finally discharged. Of course, despite his company’s Fatal Accident Insurance Coverage, their health coverage was actually quite weak, drowning him in debt.
It leaves Nathan to beg Vince and Barb, the very woman who got him into this mess, to let him keep a job he hates that will never be enough to support him. Left or right. This was a turning point for Nathan when his life takes a turn from the merely terrible to the excruciatingly nightmarish. From here, it wouldn’t be a big jump until he starts to think that the world would be better without him. This is what a right turn would bring him, but I saw that if he turned left he might have a chance.
Panic in his eyes, he pumped his arms and legs forward. I put my hand on his shoulder right before he had to choose.
“This way,” I called, and his exhausted eyes catch me and display the kind of astonishment that can’t be put into words. I couldn’t let him go down that road, and so I came back for him, even if it meant risking everything I was. I cared about him too much.
“How did you get here?” he huffed, coming to a stop.
“We don’t have time!” I yelled, pulling him to the left. A hand was already reaching out for me. The lead thug grabbed me by my plaid button shirt, but Nathan reached back and struck him in the face, knocking him to the ground.
“Don’t you lay a hand on her!” Nathan shouted at the battered creep in the black leather jacket writhing on the pavement.
“Let’s go!” I called, as the rest of his friends were only seconds away, and Nathan and I tore down the dark alley to the left.
All of a sudden we were together, and I felt strangely energized. We were passing under awnings and fire escapes through warm June air. The footsteps continued after us, but I knew if I just fought hard enough I would be able to lead him to safety. We took another turn, crashing through shallow puddles on the pavement.
“Where did you…?” he huffed.
“Not now!” It was hard for me to concentrate as it was inside this mushy body, and having him asking me about the unexplainable wasn’t going to help. I just had to focus and find a way to lose the men chasing us. What’s going to happen? What’s going to happen? My mind desperately reached for the future, while my body was already getting tired.
All of a sudden something struck me and I turned head on to a closed door. It opened right before I struck it, and Nathan and I blew past a man who let out a harsh yell. A staircase was right there, and we pounded up it into the apartment building as our pursuers entered behind us.
We ducked into the hallway on the third floor, zipping across the cheap brown carpet and avoiding the people walking by. A gunshot rang out through the hall, and I pushed Nathan into an open doorway. We were in somebody’s apartment, and they let out a loud scream.
“Sorry!” Nathan yelped as he pulled open a window and we hopped onto the fire escape. We descended as quickly as we could, but there was a ten-foot drop to the alley below. The men were climbing out above us and we didn’t have any time to lose. Nathan impressively swung himself down and landed without so much as a grunt. I hadn’t prepared for a long drop, and I inexplicably felt so scared.
“Jump! I’ll catch you!”
My feet left the edge and gravity dragged me back to Earth. Falling felt like such a rush, and then suddenly landing in Nathan’s big arms gave me a thrill. I was almost disappointed when he had to put me down, but we had to keep going or it’d all be for nothing.
We scampered to the main street, where cars and people were walking by. The men dropped into the alley behind us. I glimpsed them sprinting as we started up the other street. There were a few cries and shouts as we ran through the crowd. We just needed something to take us out of here, and I think I knew just the thing. But my legs were so tired though, and Nathan had to pull me onward.
“Down here,” I muttered, and we cascaded down the stairs into a subway stop. Nathan reached into his pocket and threw some money at the attendant, who didn’t look pleased at all, but we raced forward to catch a train that was about to depart. The men were just a short distance behind us, so we pushed ourselves all the more.
We stampeded onto the platform and hopped onto a crowded train right before the doors closed. There was a beep and all of a sudden we were sealed inside. Relief struck Nathan’s face but then there was a smacking sound at the door right next to us. The shock of seeing one of the thugs right there separated by only a thin sheet of glass made us jump. He had a deadly grimace on his face and he was digging his fingers into the door, trying to open it.
But the train started to pull away, leaving him and his friends behind. We’d managed to get away, and now we could finally catch our breaths. Holding the handles hanging from the bar above us, we sucked in air and watched the flickering lights pass by as the train picked up speed. It was heading closer to Nathan’s house.
“That was crazy!” Nathan gasped, completely blown away.
“I know,” I agreed, not knowing what else to say. We rocked back and forth in tune with the swaying train. There were people all around us, cramming us up against each other by the door. Feeling his body so close to mine prevented me from relaxing. It felt like I was still running for my life.
“What were you doing out there?” he gasped, his cheeks still flushed. When I glanced at him, I knew he would never give up asking. It must’ve all been so strange to him. But I still couldn’t tell him, especially not in front of all of these people. I had to find a way to get out of this body, if I still could.
“Nathan, listen to me. You can’t get desperate like that. It’s not going to help Cammie,” I begged him. He gave me a scrutinizing glance, wondering how I knew what he’d been doing. The subway came to a stop at another station. The doors slid open and people started to file off.
“I don’t have a choice anymore. Things have gotten bad.” I could hear the pain in his voice.
“You always have a choice. In fact, that’s all you ever have,” I replied, casting a heartfelt look into his vulnerable brown eyes.
The beep sounded and I took a deep breath. Right before the doors closed shut, I hopped backward off the train. A sudden look of alarm struck Nathan’s face, and he pressed his hand against the door’s glass window.
“Apoxy!”
Water started leaking over my eyes as I waved to him and the departing train, because I hoped I would never have to see him again. He was safe, and I’d done my job, now all that was left was to return to the infinite and pull the strings of fate like one would a dancing puppet.
Finding a place with no people so I could disappear was difficult. I walked up and down the platform, searching. There was hardly an empty spot other than along the tracks through the tunnel, but that would attract far too much attention.
I finally ducked inside the women’s bathroom, which was pretty filthy despite a strong smell of bleach. It took a few moments of waiting before I could enter a stall, but when I finally did I quickly locked the door behind me and shut my eyes.
I opened them, but instead of seeing the grandness of the universe in countless beautiful variations, I saw a grungy subway toilet and smears coating the white tile on the wall. I blinked again and again, but nothing worked. Someone must be watching my feet or something, so I left the bathroom and headed to the street.
A deep sense of unease set in as I hustled alone through the streets. The future was completely lost to me, and I was afraid to even try to change anything that was going on around me. I slipped into another alley and hid behind a small entranceway. No one could possibly see me here, and I quickly snapped my eyes shut, praying it would all be gone when I opened them.
But I was still there, trapped inside this human body. The feelings became overwhelming. Despair, frustration, pleading, terror, more than I ever thought I could have. It rattled me to the core, and I leaned against the wall and slowly slunk to the ground, shivering and nauseous.
That’s when it hit me. I would never be able to go back. Somehow I’d shut myself out of my home, and now I was nothing more than Apoxy, a fragile eighteen-year-old girl who was never meant to exist.
Nathan’s house was over a mile away, and I made the trek there by myself through the darkness of night. I took every single plodding step, and the whole thing seemed endless, but I had no place else to go. By the time I got there, I was sobbing uncontrollably. It felt like I was falling apart and this awful skin was crushing me inside a tiny human prison.
I collapsed against the front steps, my legs spilling onto the grass. Judging by the windows, all of the lights were off and everyone had gone to bed. The tears streamed down my face, and I wondered how many of them I could shed before I dried out inside. I couldn’t even bring myself to knock on the door. I was an animal now and might as well sleep outdoors.
But the porch light flicked on and I could hear footsteps approaching the door from inside. What would Nathan do when he found me here? How could he possibly understand what I was and what had happened to me? The door opened, and though my face was smushed down into the step, I could feel a pair of hands prodding me. They weren’t big and strong though. These hands were small and soft.
“Oh my God! What’s going on?” Cammie gasped, pulling me onto my unwilling legs. She was in her nightgown and didn’t even have her glasses on. I was in hysterics, staggering about the lawn.
“I have to get out! I have to get out!”
I had my hands against the sides of my head, doubled over in agony. I reached into my mouth and pulled on my tongue. There had to be some way to escape this body. I fell onto my side and Cammie rushed over to help me.
“Just calm down!” she pleaded.
“I’m not supposed to be here. This is all wrong. I have to get back. I can’t see anything inside this head. It’s so dark! Where’s the future?”
“What are you talking about? What about the future?” Cammie cringed, completely bewildered. I grabbed hold of her shirt and glared into her young eyes.
“I am the future!”
“This is crazy. I’m getting Nathan!” she declared, but I held her all the more tightly, preventing her from getting away.
“No, you can’t do that! He can’t know!” But Cammie was breaking away from me. “He’s going to die!”
And Cammie’s head twisted back to look at me, something deathly serious in her eyes.
“Why on Earth would you say that? What is going on?” The girl was beside herself with fright, and I was still completely out of my mind.
“I’m not a human, I’m a spirit that controls events from outside of time. I came here to watch over Nathan because one day he’s going to die in an accident at his factory. He has three months left to live.”
Cammie couldn’t take her big eyes from me. She looked like she couldn’t even move. I glared back at her, feeling like I was drowning and latching onto anything nearby. I didn’t know what I was saying or why I was telling her this. I was floundering, helpless, and now I was dragging this girl down with me.
“That’s how you took away my scar, isn’t it?” she posed, completely absorbed in me. “I can’t believe this! But if you came here because Nathan is going to die, you’re going to save him, right? You have to save him!”
She was clutching me now and wouldn’t let go. Her eyes were welling up, but for some reason what she said made me start laughing hysterically through my tears.
“Save him? I never came here to save him. I came to repay him for what he would do. There’s nothing that can save him!” I raved, and Cammie grabbed me harder and gritted her teeth. Her eyes, always calculating, were shooting back and forth.
“I can’t lose my brother! There has to be someway to save him. If we know what’s going to happen now, we can change the future. He just doesn’t have to go to work that day. Or we can make him do something else. Anything is possible if we do something different!” She was holding me against the ground. I was out of my mind and could barely tell what was going on.
“No, you don’t understand!” My voice was somewhere between a shriek and a growl. “It’s not the actions you are bound to, it’s your decisions. This is the one choice that separates this Nathan from all the ten trillion other Nathans that exist. Whether it’s the day of the accident, or right now, or back when you were ten-years-old, he will always choose to sacrifice himself for you.”
Tears were streaming down Cammie’s puffy red cheeks. She couldn’t believe it, she wouldn’t accept it, and I couldn’t blame her for it. Her brother was the one Nathan who needed to be saved but couldn’t be.
“No, that’s not possible! He would never…”
“He will, Cammie, and you know in your heart he will. It’s inevitable.”
The girl let go of me and fell back into the grass. Except for our sniffling, everything was quiet. No cars were driving by and no one was walking down the sidewalks. Not a light turned on within Nathan’s house.
“If you didn’t come here to save him, then what the heck are you doing here?” she muttered, looking beside herself.
“I told you, I was watching over him. What he will do is so beautiful and so selfless that I had to pay him back for it, and so I vowed to make his last year a better one. So many horrible things have happened to him, but you can’t imagine how much worse it would be without me. The boy would be on death’s door right now, begging to be let in.”
Cammie sputtered, putting one hand on her head. I hated making her feel the despair I felt, but I didn’t have any other choice. If I’d wanted to rationalize it, maybe it would make her be nicer to him in his last months, but I was so out of it that I really didn’t care what I was doing.
“Nathan was so stunned when he came home after his party,” she cried. “He was so impressed, and he really cared about you. Then you basically left him. He took it so hard. How was that supposed to make his life better?”
