Agent Down: Region Two Series Book Two, page 29
I ended up on the narrow walkway running the back of the building, as the team spilled into the yard. Liv had had them out on one of her morning runs.
They moved in unison, as graceful and coordinated as they’d ever been. When Liv stopped, Josh and Kimi halted a micro-second later. Josh must have snarked at Kimi. She dropped and leg swept him, putting him on his butt. Liv held out a hand to help him up, her laughter carrying.
They didn’t need me. A fact I’d known deep inside, from watching them on missions. They’d been flawless. As good, as solid, as when I’d been the C.O. I admitted it to myself now. They had never needed me. I’d hung onto a wisp of a dream, of coming back, uniting us, them accepting Stavros, and me leading my team, to get me through my transition. It’d all been an impossible daydream I’d used to keep me going, not a realistic goal.
Stavros appeared beside me. “You are well?”
Meaning, was I going to leak and snot all over him.
“What happened? After you were turned, and went home to your hacienda?”
“I never tried to return. I wasn’t as brave as you.”
I snorted, an ugly sound. “You mean you were smarter. There really is no going home again.”
“Your family…” Stavros stopped, because he’d known all along, that reuniting was never real but psychological training wheels I used to deal with the transition and what I needed to do to accept my training and my new life.
“Kimi and Josh are trying. Liv may want to, underneath all that logic and rule quoting. As C.O. she has to put personal desires dead last though. She doesn’t completely trust us and probably never will—exactly how I’d act if the situation was reversed. Since we can’t be together, Bruce wants me gone. That’s what last night was.”
A trickle of anger, cold, calculated, and precise came through our bond. Another first. All Stavros had ever sent me was calm or control, and always on purpose.
Startled, I turned to him.
His face was a study in starkness. “I’m aware.” He looked down at me. “We need not reside here. The team has observed us and we have watched them. We know our techniques mesh. You can converse with them by your computer, we will each do our separate sweeps, and meet only for agreed upon hunts.”
“My test—”
“You have fulfilled it. Your automatic choice to remove yourself and heal last night instead of punishing those your body perceived as attackers responsible for your pain was above and beyond my expectations.”
“Oh.” Feeling more numb than victorious had to be a vampire reaction. I ran my thumbnail over the metal pipe rail, back and forth, a dozen layers of paint flaking free to drift away. “Once we’ve gotten to the bottom of this weirdness, once the cryptid world is back to reliably murderous behavior…”
“We have many options,” Stavros said.
I nodded. “Pick someplace new to go. Anywhere you think we’d like, that isn’t here. Can we travel? Like, really travel?” Because if I stayed on this continent, I’d keep coming back to the team, watching from afar like I’d done before, and keep reopening that wound.
“The world is yours, niña.” He touched my head, a there-and-gone benediction. “I’ll start arrangements.” With that, he vanished.
The team clattered up the steps, metal ringing. They slowed as one on catching me up here.
“Morning.” Even as I greeted them, I studied Liv, wondering if she’d known what Bruce was doing. He’d said that Josh told him about the sensitivity.
Liv only nodded, her ponytail swinging. Josh wiggled between Liv and me, checking me out. “You feel better?”
“I’m good.”
He frowned and something darker passed over his face. “Bruce threw out the rest of the ribolita. That shit won’t happen again.”
“It’s no big.” I wouldn’t be eating with them again anyway.
Liv’s phone chirped, a snippet of conversation from the two grumpy old dudes from the Muppets, the new tone courtesy of Kimi, no doubt. “Back in a sec.” Liv stepped to the far end of the walkway to take the call.
Kimi slouched beside me, butt against the rail and signed, “How about cashing the movie marathon rain check tonight? I loaded the classics for you, but we haven’t delved into the new romantic goodness that is The Kissing Booth and To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.”
I couldn’t get no, the smart answer, out. Saying yes to this, with her and Josh, would make it so much harder when there was no brother and sister to watch movies with and recite the cheesiest, most romantic lines with.
I could stay in touch with them, except that was splitting up the team. Kimi and Josh on one side. Liv and Bruce on the other. Any dissonance, no matter how minor, could compromise team performance. Missing one step could end with one of them never coming home.
So, I did the right thing, even as my chest kicked up a new ache. “Thanks for the laptop upgrade, and for doughnut shopping with Stavros. I can only get him to hit vending machines.”
She frowned at my evasive answer. “The shopping was his idea. He came and found me, not the other way around.”
“Seriously?”
“He’s totally a cinnamon roll.”
That surprised a laugh out of me. “Not really. Okay, maybe he has a hidden sweet-hero cinnamon roll center. Don’t call him that to this face though. I don’t want to have to try to explain cinnamon roll boi to him. His dignity couldn’t handle it.”
“He learns fast.”
“Ooookay?” This was my morning to be confused.
“I showed him the alphabet, and he got it after one demo. He picks up every sign that way.”
“You two talked?”
Kimi looked entirely too smug. “He’ll be conversant fast.”
“Hmm.” No, he wouldn’t.
She pinned me with a suspicious stare.
Josh glanced from her to me, then back, taking his cues from Kimi.
I needed to tell them that I was leaving. They deserved to hear it first, and from me. “Look, guys—”
“That was HQ.” Liv rejoined us, cutting off my moment, tapping her phone against her hip. A tick that showed whenever she was thrown a curveball. “The Assessor is coming.”
Even more reason to bail ASAP. We could be gone before they knew Stavros and I existed, and let them finalize Bruce’s inevitable official Company approval.
“When?” Josh straightened, all agent now.
“Forty-eight hours.” She turned back to me. “They really want to eval you and meet Stavros. I’m sure they’ve already put you both on the roster to spend a few days at HQ and see the therapists. All normal actions for potentially traumatized agents and dealing with PTSD and survivor’s guilt.”
The chupacabra blood curdled in my stomach. “You already told them about us?”
“I submitted the report yesterday.”
“I’ll let Bruce know,” Kimi signed, heading for the door, an equally excited Josh close behind.
“Holy crap, Liv. That was fast.” Way faster than I’d expected.
Her tap-tapping stopped cold. “Be honest. You planned your miraculous reappearance now because of the sixteen-month rule.”
Sixteen months was the rule, when a body wasn’t found, before an agent was declared legally demised and temporary team fill-ins and promotions become permanent.
We were having that conversation.. The one we’d both avoided because deep down, we both wanted the same prize. The one I’d once had. The one Liv held now.
I answered in the same vein. “I had a bet going as to whether you’d ever report that I was alive.”
We could revert to over-competitive thirteen-year-olds in record time, knowing what we were doing, and still not able to stop. Except this was no momentary dust-up over who had the best hand-to-hand score that week. A spat we’d both forget about within twenty-four hours.
Liv leaned her forearms on the rail, surveying the mountains. I mirrored her position. “Bruce made me promise to hold you together and keep the team on track after he died,” she said. “Instead, I’ve held him together, more or less, and kept the team on track after you died.”
“Yeah. Hella inconvenient, my being alive. You and Bruce seem to agree on that, even if it is for different reasons.”
She gave me a serious look, all traces of teenage squabbling gone. “Don’t even. Don’t you dare go there. I may be furious you were reckless, furious you didn’t bring us into the loop, and angry that you are blowing Bruce off like it’s nothing, but I was never happy about your death. If you honestly think I am, you are more fucked up than Bruce is.”
She deserved better than my attitude. She’d done what we’d all been trained to do—step in and keep the people we were responsible for safe. Teams who lost a member, who couldn’t recalibrate, those were teams that ended wiped out.
Matching her gravity, I dipped my head to her. “You’re doing an incredible job. You’re an excellent C.O.”
“I know. We’re in a good place, finally.” Meaning, they’d recalibrated just fine, my absence successfully compensated for. Also meaning my being here again was a potential liability, risking screwing up that teamwork.
She pushed off the rail and went inside, leaving me to wonder for the first time whether my sister or my ex-lover would out me as a vampire to the Company, leading to a death I wouldn’t be coming back from. Okay, not death. But only because I’d be valuable as a research subject for the Company.
“This alters our plan.” Stavros reappeared. He’d heard the whole thing, even if he’d tried not to.
“It alters my plan. I can’t disappear now after just reappearing. The Company will either assume I’m infected, or I’m still human but working with vampires. There’s only one solution to either problem, as far as they’re concerned.”
“We must convince this Assessor of our humanity, as well as my worth.”
Frustration made me sharp. “I. Me. Get it? This idiot plan was my idea. You don’t have to be on the hook. We can convince them you didn’t survive. You can leave, right now, and…and continue your work. Go and pack.”
“That shall not happen.”
I raised my voice, shoving into his aura, sick on adrenaline and disappointment and some worse emotion. “You don’t get it. The Assessor will be rooting for us, but they are also freakishly observant. They’re meant to be, to find any cracks in a team’s foundation, so the flaw can be repaired. Except, we are the kind of crack that can’t be fixed.”
“We have discussed this and—”
“I’m not finished. We talked about jumping through hoops, but we didn’t discuss being stabbed in the back,” I yelled. Far too loud for his sensitive ears. Too loud for mine.
The quiet was overwhelming. As was Stavros’ disapproval, radiating through our bond.
I took a breath and re-centered. He dipped his head in both approval, and command to continue.
“Bruce may wait until the Assessor arrives and expose us, because he hates me now. Unless Liv does it first, not because she hates me but because she’s protecting her commission and the team.” The admission tasted liked the spoiled blood I’d had to consume once when things were lean. Awful and disgusting but still necessary.
I whispered the rest. “I can’t not show up for the Assessor. They’ll hunt us to the ends of the earth. They might also eliminate the team, just to be sure. They wouldn’t want to, but it’s protocol to protect the rest of the Region and HQ.”
“Victoria.” Compassion colored the simple word.
“No. Uh-Uh. Do not Victoria me. I’m not done yet. The ‘et tu, Brutus?’ risk from Liv and Bruce is on top of us fueling up enough to eat horrid, potentially tainted food and pretend we don’t hear things no human should be capable of, or overreact to scents, or I don’t even know. It’s also on top of performing in daylight for who knows how many days. The kind of vampires we’ll need to feed on…oh my god. Old, old ones. We can’t blow them up from a safe distance, and that’s the only way we’ve ever faced any that old and powerful and scary and probably damned well prepared.”
“Do not blaspheme.”
I paused mid-rant.
Stavros crossed his arms, stern teacher face on.
“Seriously? We’re discussing life and almost certain death, and your take-away is my language choice? Only one word from your restricted list, at that? Damned doesn’t even always have a religious connotation.”
He started to speak, but I wasn’t done now either. “I’m the one who pushed and pushed for us trying for Company acceptance. Honestly, my family’s acceptance. It’s always been about them accepting the new me. The odds of us surviving fighting the caliber vampires we need to drain, then convincing the Assessor, are less than fifty-fifty. Walk away. Please.”
He dropped his arms from the stern fold, and some indefinable otherness with them. Left himself real and bare. Even his voice held a different cadence. “Niña, I couldn’t save my naturally born children. I will do better by you, my created daughter. Come what may of these tests, you’ll never be without family so long as I exist.”
“But—” my voice wobbled “—but you said we’re demons. Vampires are demons and we don’t have emotions or families or need real doughnuts. And something about luxuries and our only purpose being hunting. And if I had emotions, I flunked our last test because I wasn’t safe to be around.”
He sighed, one that held none of the usual exasperation. “You are the most pure-hearted person I have known. When I watch you, I can believe your claim that we are not demons or the damned. Demons can’t love and you love your brother and sisters unconditionally.” He took a breath that visibly rattled him. “As I love you. I didn’t dream I was still capable of loving. God wouldn’t grant a demon a second chance and a second family.”
He spread his arms wide in a helpless shrug. “Tú eres mi hija.”
I walked into his hug, and hid my face in the scratchy fabric covering his chest. I could hardly understand myself between my sobs. “If this is what it feels like to have a parent? It’s amazing.”
Stavros wrapped his arms around me, my head tucked under his chin, rocking me like I was a kid. His kid. He said I was his daughter and Stavros never lied. “Whatever may come, we face it together,” he whispered into my hair. “I am sorry your family rejects you, but I won’t.”
Chapter 45
Bruce
As Vee and the other vamp walked in, Bruce bolted from the stool at the tiny two-person bar. This was the spot he’d staked out a few hours before. Right after hearing Vee and the vampire—shit, Stavros—he had to accept who the guy was to Vee. Right after hearing fragments, enough of their argument to stop his damn heart.
Vee honestly thought her sister would stand back and let Vee die. Hell, would facilitate Vee’s end. Vee thought he would let her be hurt or die.
Once he’d waded through that shit, he’d processed what she’d said about feeding on some old, powerful vamps and come to the conclusion that there was no way in hell he was letting her, her and Stavros, face that nightmare alone. They’d take care of the Assessor preparation, then he’d somehow reassure her that while Liv was right about both of them being messed up, that in no way equated with him ever harming her or wanting her gone.
Thus, plastering his now numb ass to the bar stool, because it was by the only exit to the garage and Stavros’ and Vee’s ride.
Vee didn’t even look at him, her gaze sliding over him, as she started for the hall. “We have a private mission.”
“Yeah, we know.” Josh, Kimi, and Liv emerged from the hall holding their rooms, weaponed up. They’d heard at least a portion of the same chilling fight he had and had come to the same conclusions.
Vee and Stavros whirled, putting themselves back to back. Waiting for a fight. Vee facing Liv, Stavros facing Josh and Kimi, but most of his attention on Liv and him. The two vampires expecting the worst from them and immediately thinking this was an ambush.
He and Liv needed their asses kicked for assuming Vee was the old Vee, the pre-viciously-attacked-fucking-bleeding-in-the-night Vee. Worse, for assuming she was impervious.
Before Vee had reappeared, he’d been fucked up and heading for an ugly end. He’d lost half of his soul, and everything else, the people and things still existing in his life...none of it eased the torment.
Vee though—she’d lost him, and he’d never doubted she felt for him as intensely as he felt for her. On top of that mind fuck though, she had lost her entire family. She’d lost her career, except being an agent wasn’t a career in any of the team’s eyes but rather their whole identity. Who and what they were. Yes, he had held friends and family at arm’s length, not accepting their help. Vee hadn’t had that chance to choose—she’d lost her entire support network, all at once. And Vee was fucking made of connections with the people she cared about. Worse, she’d become something she’d been taught to despise.
He’d been caught up in his own pain at Vee’s rejection of him, or at least, of the role he’d once played in her life. Hurt and confused over being fucking demoted, and not stopping to think about Vee’s pain, much less how she had to be emotionally and psychologically broken. Her coping skills and decision process shot to hell. Of course her actions and decision making was fucked. And he’d acted like that was her fault, when in reality she didn’t have a damn bit of control.
And he’d failed Liv, too. Not thinking about the impact of her losing her sister, then having to take over being the person who kept the rest of the team together so they didn’t end up like their lost sibling. He’d taken it at face value that Liv was okay, when he damned well knew she wore an armor veneer over her real feelings.
When he had been damaged, his body and his mindset from the cancer, Vee had been there, giving him the strength to put himself back together.
In return, he’d abandoned her when she’d needed support the most. He’d topped off his self-centered performance by wallowing and ignoring her sister, now his sister and one of his closest friends. Liv had damned well watched out for him even as he failed her.
