Blue Moon Haven, page 21
“It doesn’t matter what you say.” Her tears began to slow, but her entire body still shook against his. “He’s their father. I have no right to Todd and Daisy without his approval. And Todd knows that as well as I do. He always has. And my insistence that he and Daisy aren’t mine just kept confirming Todd’s belief that I didn’t want them.” She lifted her face from his chest slowly and looked up at him, her chin wobbling. “I just can’t help but worry what will happen down the road. When juggling work and two kids interferes with whatever else Zane normally does.” A fresh surge of tears welled in her eyes. “He’ll break their hearts again.”
Seth cupped her jaw and brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones, wiping away her tears. “We can only control ourselves,” he said softly, “not the people around us. The only thing we can do now is hope he sees reason.”
A look of sad resignation entered her expression. “And if he doesn’t?”
“Then we do the same thing you’ve been doing all this time.” He tried to smile, but failed. Instead, he kissed her forehead, cradled her face in his hands and touched his forehead to hers. “We do what’s best for Todd and Daisy.”
* * *
Ten minutes later, after saying goodbye to Todd and Daisy, Seth walked through his orchard and back to his house. Zane stood outside in the driveway, leaning against his parked truck, waiting for him.
“Sorry for the wait,” Seth said, striding across the front lawn.
Zane took a deep drag from a cigarette he held and blew out the smoke slowly. “Not a problem. It’s nice out here.” He glanced around, his expression hard to read in the low glow of the stars. “You’ve got a nice place.”
“Thank you.”
“How long you been living out here?”
Seth looked up at his house, a small smile lifting his mouth as he looked at the red roof Kelly had so admired. “About fifteen years.” He returned his attention to Zane. “You?”
“I was living in Florida but just got a place back in Birmingham. One-story house. Nothing like this.”
Seth watched him take another drag of his cigarette. “Been there long?”
One corner of Zane’s mouth lifted. “Investigating my suitability, are you?”
Seth kept his expression blank. “I think it’s a fair question. You haven’t been around for a while. You show up with no notice. Not trying to offend you, just trying to find out what your plans are for Todd and Daisy.”
Reaching the end of his cigarette, Zane flicked the butt to the driveway and ground the embers out with the heel of his shoe. “You’ve gotten pretty close to my kids, haven’t you?”
“Yes.”
Zane studied his face, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t think I should have them, do you?”
Seth shook his head. “I didn’t say that. I don’t even know you.” He sighed. “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have reservations about you, or concerns about Todd and Daisy’s well-being. From what I’ve seen, Kelly’s taken great care of them for quite some time now. She’s got them settled well here. They’re finally getting into a routine at school and gaining ground on the drive-in renovations. The grand opening is this Saturday, and they were looking forward to it.”
“I didn’t come here to interrupt Kelly’s plans with the kids,” Zane said. “But I miss them, and I have a right to them. I’m grateful to her for taking care of them—especially for as long as she has. But they’re my children, not Kelly’s.”
Seth strolled over to Zane’s truck and propped his elbows on the hood of the vehicle, leaning into them and striving to inject a casual tone into his voice. “You’ve said that a lot—that they’re your children and they belong to you. But what I haven’t heard you mention is what you are to them . . . or, more specifically, what you plan to offer them.”
Facing Seth, Zane rested one arm on the hood of his truck and frowned. “I’m their father and I’m going to take care of them. Give them a home, get them back in school in Birmingham.”
Seth nodded. “That’s a good start. But I guess what I’m really wondering is why you left them with Kelly in the first place.”
Zane’s expression fell, his gaze drifting down and his fingers splaying against the hood of his truck. “Laice—my wife—died, and I had a hard time getting over losing her. She was it for me, you know. I just couldn’t let her go.” He looked up, meeting Seth’s eyes, his mouth set in a tight line. “I know a lot of people say you should just get over it and move on, but I couldn’t. You ever felt like that before?”
Seth stilled, a familiar pain—not as sharp as before, but still present—moving through his chest as he returned Zane’s stare. The pain in the other man’s eyes mirrored his own, and though the last thing he wanted was to empathize with Zane, he understood his grief and appreciated how difficult it was to move on after losing someone so dear. “Yeah.” But still . . .
“You left them, though. Not just for a few days or a week or two, but for months with no updates of any sort, from what Kelly has told me. She said you didn’t even call to check on them, to see how they were faring through all this.”
“I knew Kelly would take care of them,” he said firmly. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have left them with her.”
“But what about their emotional needs?” Seth shook his head. “You basically dropped them off on her doorstep and drove off with no assurances or promise that you’d ever return. Todd and Daisy had just lost their mother. Can you imagine how difficult it must have been for them to lose their father, too?”
Zane straightened and dragged his hand through his hair. “I know I messed up. I know I should’ve handled things better, but I can’t take that back now. All I can do is move forward.”
Seth’s hands clenched together on the hood of the truck. How could he blame Zane for making a mistake amid a cloud of grief and pain, then having a change of heart and wanting to rectify that same mistake? Wasn’t that what he was trying to do himself? Let go of the past, of his grief and anger, and start fresh with Kelly and the kids?
Something Kelly had said last weekend, the night of the fundraiser, resurfaced in his mind.
“What makes this time different?” he asked softly.
Zane’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you say you made a mistake leaving them. That you weren’t able to handle things at the time. I assume you mean juggling the pain of losing your wife and taking care of two kids on your own—both of which anyone would agree are great challenges.” Seth straightened as well and shoved his hands in his pockets. “What I’m asking is, how do you know you’ll be able to take care of Todd and Daisy on your own now?”
Zane scoffed. “Same as Kelly, I expect.”
“Yeah,” Seth continued gently, “but this is a huge move for Todd and Daisy. Can you understand why Kelly and I are concerned that if you’re not sure, that if down the road you change your mind again, your leaving a second time might devastate Todd and Daisy?”
Zane dragged a hand over his face and kneaded the back of his neck. “I can’t see the future, man, and quite frankly, I don’t owe you any explanation. I’m Todd and Daisy’s father, and I have a right to take them with me.”
“Yes,” Seth echoed. “You have every right to take them. I’m just asking you to please think it through before you act. Kelly’s made a good home for Todd and Daisy here. She’s taken great care of them and would continue to do so, given the chance.” He held out his hand in supplication. “All I’m asking, as someone who loves your son and daughter, is that you sleep on it. Give the decision a little more thought and just be sure you’re committed before you disrupt their lives again.”
Zane stared at him, the anger slowly receding from his expression and an uncertain resignation taking its place. “All right. I’ll give it some thought tonight. But that’s all I’m agreeing to.”
Seth stepped back and nodded. “Thank you.” He swept his arm toward the front porch of his house. “Please come on in. I’ll show you your room and get you a drink. You’re welcome to settle in, and let me know if you need anything.”
A somewhat-friendly smile returned to Zane’s face. “Thanks again, man. I appreciate you setting me up so I don’t have to drive back to Glenville.”
Seth led the way up the front porch steps, unlocked the door and invited Zane to precede him inside. Patch was waiting patiently by the door, his tail wagging furiously as Seth walked in.
“Hey, buddy.” Seth squatted beside Patch and rubbed his ears. “You ready for some supper?”
Patch barked, sniffed around Zane’s legs, then shuffled to the kitchen, barking twice more along the way.
Zane smiled. A real one this time. “Nice dog you got there. I’ve been thinking about getting one for Todd. You think he’d like that?”
Seth paused in midstride toward the kitchen, glancing back at Zane over his shoulder. The question alone unsettled him. It was as though Zane knew nothing at all about his own son . . . and maybe even less about being a good parent. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “I think he would. Look . . . if you’re ever uncomfortable calling Kelly for help, I’d be happy to give you my number if you’d like. Anytime you have questions about what Todd and Daisy might like or need, I’d be happy to give my advice. No questions on my part, just help whenever you might need it.”
That, at least, he could do to help make the transition easier for Todd and Daisy.
Zane nodded, his gaze drifting off as though in thought. Then he shoved his truck keys in his pockets and looked around the room. “I’d be fine on the couch if that’ll save you some extra cleaning tomorrow and keep me out of your hair.”
“No need for that,” Seth said. “The guest room’s upstairs. Second on the left. You can go take a look and let me know if you need anything. Bathroom’s right across the hall. Sleep as late as you like in the morning. The kids leave for school early and won’t be back until after three tomorrow afternoon.”
Zane murmured another thank-you, then headed up the staircase, glancing around as he went.
Seth waited until he was out of sight, then walked to the kitchen, grabbed a can of dog food from one of the cabinets and fed Patch, patting the dog’s back as he dug into his dinner.
“Let’s hope he has a change of heart,” Seth whispered to Patch.
Because the last thing he’d ever want was for Kelly to feel the pain of losing the two children she loved.
* * *
Kelly unrolled the tape measure in her hand and measured out a two-by-four stud from the lumber Seth had left behind in the drive-in lot yesterday. She marked the wood with a pencil and ran it through the miter saw, carefully making sure the cut was accurate. When she finished, she moved the stud over to the tree and propped it against the base of the trunk.
She looked at Seth’s orchard, peering past the thick trunks and sprawling branches in anticipation of Zane’s arrival. But the orchard remained undisturbed. Despite the strong warmth of the morning sun, a chill ran through her.
Kelly spun away from the orchard, returned to the stack of lumber on the ground and lifted another piece of wood onto the saw table. Her movements were abrupt and automatic, but the loud buzz of the saw filled her ears and drowned out her thoughts, allowing her a moment’s peace from the turmoil that had warred within her over the past several hours.
Yesterday after Zane had left to drive to Seth’s house, Seth had hugged her tightly one last time, promised to return in the morning, then walked past the halfway-built tree house into his orchard, disappearing into the night. As Kelly watched him leave, an unexpected urge hit her, tempting her to rush back into the trailer, pack up everything she and the kids had brought with them, then bundle Todd and Daisy into the car and take off. She’d drive without stopping until enough distance had been put between her and Zane that the fear pricking the back of her neck would ease so she could breathe again. Then she, Todd and Daisy would look for a new place they could call home. A new start. A new life.
The saw reached the end of the wood she’d loaded and the two-by-four was cut. Kelly turned off the saw, removed her safety glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose with her gloved hand.
None of what she’d dreamed about in that moment last night was a viable option and she’d never do it, of course. But last night, for the briefest of panic-filled moments, she’d wanted to try. And the worst thing about it was that she wasn’t even dreaming of doing it for Todd and Daisy’s sake, but for her own.
She stared at the empty driveway of the drive-in lot, recalling how quiet they’d both been this morning when she’d driven them to school and dropped them off. They hadn’t asked any questions about Zane or what was to come. They’d simply sat silently in their seats and stared out of the window, then murmured quiet goodbyes as they’d exited the car and walked into school. The biggest difference being that instead of Todd’s usual routine of walking five steps ahead of Daisy, and only casually checking behind him to make sure she made it inside, this time, they held each other’s hands, walking side by side through the entrance and a few steps beyond. It was as though they sought comfort in each other.
The sight had almost broken Kelly’s heart. She’d driven home with hot tears rolling down her cheeks the entire way.
She stilled, her eyes moving to the silver trailer at the back of the lot. The outdoor chairs she had bought still sat in front, colorful and inviting. Each window shined in the morning light and sparkled every now and then as the sun rose higher as though winking in approval of the beautiful day. And every square inch of the small interior had become as comfortable and welcoming as Mae Bell had promised.
A bittersweet emotion filled her chest. The little Royal Mansion of Mae Bell’s dreams had indeed become her own. This place had become home—for Kelly and the kids . . . with Seth. Her breath caught, the idea of losing both Seth and the kids too much to bear. Now, when she, Todd and Daisy had finally found a place of their own . . . a family and dream of their own . . . Zane could rip it all away.
“You started without me.”
Kelly jumped and glanced over her shoulder to find Seth weaving his way through the last two trees and striding up to her. Just the sight of his kind, peaceful expression was enough to ease some of the tension from her limbs.
“I couldn’t sleep last night,” she said. “And after I dropped the kids off, I knew it’d be fruitless to try again, so I figured I’d come on out and work on the tree house some more.”
Seth frowned. “Kinda dangerous handling power tools alone when you’re not well-rested. I hope you’re being careful.”
“I am.” She bit her lip. “Has Zane changed his mind?”
Sadness filled his eyes. “No. He got up early this morning and started making calls to try to reenroll Daisy and Todd in their old school back in Birmingham. He’s afraid he may have to try another school district after the trouble Todd caused there before. He asked me if I’d touch base with you and see if you could help get them packed and ready to leave this afternoon, as soon as possible after they return from school.”
Her shoulders slumped. It was as she’d expected, but the idea of losing Todd and Daisy hurt even more than losing Laice had.
“How were they doing this morning?” Seth asked.
She shrugged, then walked over to the stack of lumber and lifted another piece of wood from the pile. “Todd managed to help Daisy stop crying last night, but even he was teary-eyed when he went to bed, and neither of them touched their breakfast this morning. I think they’re afraid, confused, excited and unsure. They don’t really know how to feel, and at the same time, I think they’re feeling so much they don’t know how to respond.”
Seth moved quickly, lifting the long post from her arms and placing it on the saw table. He placed his palms flat on the wood and leaned forward, catching her eye, and asked softly, “And how are you doing?”
Kelly tugged off her other glove and dragged a hand over her face. “I don’t know how to feel, either. I mean . . .” Her mouth trembled and she pressed her lips together and looked away, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I want them to have a relationship with Zane—of course, I do. But I don’t want that relationship to come at the expense of my losing them altogether.” Her voice shook and she inhaled deeply before continuing. “Sometimes I wish he’d just leave again, but I hate myself even more for wishing that, because I know it would just break their hearts again.” She looked up, blinking past the tears filling her eyes as she met Seth’s eyes. “What kind of parent does that make me?”
Seth walked around the table and drew her close, his big palms moving in slow circles over her back. “A great one. One who loves those kids as much as herself and wants what’s best for them. There’s nothing selfish about loving someone and wanting them with you.”
Kelly buried her face against his warm throat and breathed him in, finding comfort in his embrace. “Like you tried to tell me last week?” she asked quietly. “When you told me you loved me and asked me to take a chance on a future together?”
His hands stilled against her back for a moment, then resumed moving in slow circles again. “Yeah.”
She lifted her head and looked up at him, studying the kindness in his eyes, his patient expression. He’d been through so much, losing Rachel and a marriage he thought would last forever, yet . . . here he was, standing before her just as he had been for weeks now, ready and willing to take a chance on life and love again. With her.
“You love Todd and Daisy just as much as I do, don’t you?” she whispered.
He nodded, the same pain she felt clouding his eyes.
“I’ve never met a man as good as you,” she said, lifting her hand and cupping his jaw in her hands. The stubble lining his jaw was rough against her fingertips. She smoothed her thumbs across his lean cheeks, managing a small smile despite the pain roiling inside. “I love you, Seth, and I wish I’d had the courage to tell you so last weekend. I wish I’d been able to see that a happy ending doesn’t have to be perfect to be happy. I wish I had told you how much I admire your kindness, patience and concern for others. How gentle and compassionate you are with Todd and Daisy. And how it’s just as hard for me to imagine losing you as it is for me to think of losing Todd and Daisy.”
