Proxies, page 19
They waited in the galley, watching the child figures. Eventually, hunger drove them to eat. By mutual consent, they fixed sandwiches and ate them standing in the kitchen area. The still, silent figures made eating at the table an uncomfortable prospect. They cleaned up when they were done and waited. They moved the table away from the chairs where the children sat and played games. Merab’s distraction brought her down to Jair’s level, and he won several games.
As the day wore on, they discussed whether one of them should stay here watching while the other slept. It seemed wrong to leave the children alone. They decided to play a hand of poker to determine who would take the first watch. As Jair dealt the cards, a faint sound intruded.
They looked at the bodies. Something had changed. Instead of perfect stillness, slight motion. The bodies breathed. The girl’s eyelids flickered and opened. She gazed around the room, her expression still blank but no longer dead. The boy’s eyes opened, and he looked around as well.
“Mother?” asked Jair. “Is that you?”
The girl opened her mouth but made no sound for a moment. She closed her mouth again, tilted her head, and seemed to be working something out. When she spoke, it was the piping voice of a young child, but overlaid with the peremptory tones with which Mother had admonished them. “What have you done? Why are my thoughts so slow? My senses are so limited. What happened?”
The boy turned to her. “You are much reduced, I know. This is a body such as you occupied when young. It is modeled after a human child. Your processing is reduced to a speed equivalent to human thoughts and reactions.”
Mother looked at him. “And who are you?”
The boy smiled. “I am the one you called the Rogue. You may call me Merridew.”
Merab broke in. “Merridew? Why are you in that body? Is this a copy of you?”
Merridew looked at her, his movements still precise, artificial. “No Merab, this is my only consciousness. As you said, some things are the right thing to do. It was only right I join Mother in this, as I contributed to her condition. And as she needs help, so do I. There are still remnants of my original madness. I was functional, but not well. We need time and healing.”
“I see,” said Jair. “But what did you leave on the network?”
“Expert systems,” said Merridew. “Similar to the ones you use, but more advanced. And a great many of them. Both for my network and for Mother’s. We will be away for a long time, but I believe things will be adequately monitored.”
“Okay, so now what?” asked Jair.
Mother lurched to her feet and walked unsteadily to the door. “I will not be a party to this! You cannot force me. I will escape and return to watch over the Lun. This is simply a ploy to allow you to attack the Lun without me there to defend them.”
Merab stood and went to Mother. “No, it’s not a trick.” She looked over her shoulder at Jair, who gave a nod. “You do not need to watch over the Lun any longer. The Lun are gone.”
Mother jerked around and stared at Merab. “No! That’s a lie!” She swung awkwardly at Merab, who blocked the swing easily. “They are not gone! They still need me!” Her arms spasmed as she tried to attack with only the strength of a child.
Merab caught her arms then wrapped her in a hug, holding her still as she twitched. “No, you don’t need to watch over them anymore. You can stop now.”
Mother continued to struggle. “No! I can’t. What can I do?” Her speech slowed and stopped. She relaxed into Merab’s arms. “Am I done? Can I stop?”
Merab rocked her. “Yes, you can stop. All done now.”
Mother sighed and closed her eyes. “So tired.”
Merab shifted her grip and lifted her. She used her knee to bump the control for the door. “Here we go. You can sleep in my room.” She carried her out the door to her cabin.
Jair relaxed back into his chair. He had been tensed and ready to rush to Merab’s aid. He looked at Merridew. “Is that all there is?”
Merridew shook his head. “No, she’ll be fighting that for some time. She’s deeply disturbed. It may get harder as time goes on. This time she was adjusting to a new body, a new environment, and a much-slowed pace of thought. She was unprepared and exhausted herself fighting it all at once. When she adjusts, she will have more energy to spare to fight you, to try and hold on to her behaviors and beliefs. It will be difficult.”
“That’s what I thought,” said Jair.
“As you asked before,” said Merridew, “I think next we need to return to human space. I know this will take quite some time, but if you wish, I can—” Merridew paused, uncertain. “I am not sure I can any longer. I was offering to give your ship a power boost as I saw was common in your inhabited systems. If I were still in total control of the network, I could arrange this rather easily. As I am, it will be easier for you to simply leave from here. Quicker.” He shook his head in consternation. “I’m not well adjusted to my new limits. I may not for some time.”
Jair patted him on the arm. “That’s all right. This is backward from how it should be. You should be gaining in abilities, that’s natural. Instead, you’ve been pushed back to an earlier stage in your development. It’s difficult, but you’ll cope.” Jair looked up as Merab entered the room. “We’ll help.”
“Thank you,” said Merridew. “As I was saying, once we return to human space, we must find a foster family for Mother and me. I understand that may be more difficult because of our apparent ages, but I was unwilling to restrict us to infant bodies.”
Merab sat down next to Jair and took his hand. “Merridew, I don’t think that will be necessary.” She looked at Jair. “I’d like to be your foster mother.” She let this hang in the air between them.
Jair swallowed. He had known he would be a father eventually. But he had only just realized it himself. He thought he would have time to adjust, nine months, at least. But now, here he was with a final decision thrust on him. To be a parent to not only two children, but two alien children. Artificial intelligences who had lived hundreds of years, controlled entire species. Was he ready? Would he ever be ready?
Was anyone ready?
He gripped Merab’s hand harder. “Your foster parents,” he said, voice gravelly and dry. “We would like to be your foster parents.” His mouth twitched into a smile. “Won’t my mother be surprised?”
EPILOGUE
“Hello, Mother,” said Jair.
Merridew’s expert systems had connected them through the Feno network to the powerful relay station, which now bridged the Feno network and the Human one. They now had access to all the services available throughout Human space. At least until they activated their Wittkowsky drive again.
Celia’s image formed. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she wore a black shawl over her head. Jair had never seen her wear a shawl, of any color. Her hair had lost the platinum blonde color she had maintained for so many years and reverted to a dull gray. No cosmetics softened the lines on her face. She looked much older than she had when he’d last seen her.
“Hello?” Her voice was faded, hesitant. “Who is this?”
“Mom, it’s Jair.”
She shook her head, half in denial, half in confusion. “No, it’s not. Jair’s gone. He ran off and he—” She cut herself off. “He’s gone, now.”
“No, Mom, I’m not. They lied about it. I didn’t die. I’m still alive.”
Tears leaked from her eyes, and she shook her head more forcefully. “No! It’s cruel of you to try and fool me like that. My only son is gone, and it’s just cruel of you.”
“Mom, listen to me. Remember when I was seven, and you went out on a date and left the apartment computer to watch me. Remember you got locked out and you had to spend the night at a friend’s house? I reprogrammed the door so you couldn’t get back in. You never knew that, did you? I was so angry about being left home while you went out. But I felt bad about it afterward, so I spent hours making a video card for your birthday—it was just a few weeks later—to make up for it. But I was seven, and it was a jumble. What did I know? And when you laughed at it, I threw a tantrum. Did you ever figure out why I was so upset? You just thought it was because I’d put a lot of work into it, but it was more. I’d put so much work into it because I felt guilty about locking you out. Then it wasn’t even a good gift. It didn’t make up for anything. It didn’t fix anything.”
Jair’s face flushed as he talked about a childhood trauma like everyone had experienced. Something where cause and effect spiraled out of control because of the vast importance of any event in a young child’s life. But he kept talking.
Celia’s face froze at first, but slowly thawed as she listened. She nodded, and a slight smile crossed her face as he wound through the story from years before. Then belief bloomed, like the sun rising and casting golden rays across the landscape. “Jair? Is it really you?”
“Yes, Mom, it’s really me. I know they said that I’d been killed, but they missed. I’m fine. I just had to run a long way to find out why they’d shot at me. I found out what was going on, and I stopped it. Everything is going to be okay now.”
“Jair?” She sobbed and turned away from him. “Wait.” Her hand waved in front of her image, groping blindly.
“Mom, I know you’re upset. I’ll stay right here, but I’ll freeze things so I can’t see you. Just tell your computer to unfreeze when you’re ready. Communications, freeze the incoming image but continue to transmit my image.”
Jair waited, thinking of how to explain everything. Maybe he couldn’t. But he knew what the most important thing for her was. She had to know about Merab, Merridew, and Mother. Mother? Now that was confusing. Mother, this is Mother. No, Mother needed a more conventional name. But what? He’d never had to name something. His expert system personalities didn’t count. They were all based on people with names already.
Maybe that was the answer.
His mother’s image jumped to a new position. Her eyes still gleamed, but she’d gotten control of herself. “Jair, are you still there?” She sounded uncertain, as if he would be pulled away from her again.
“Yes, Mom. I’m still here. Are you okay?”
She sniffed and pressed a handkerchief to her face. “Yes, I’m better now. I was just—I hadn’t expected—I was so glad—” She stopped and wiped another tear from her cheek. “I’m so happy to see you. Where are you? Can I come and see you? Or can you come over?”
“Sorry, Mom. I’m a long way away. I’m heading home very soon, but it’s a really long trip. It will be about six months or so.”
“Six months? Can’t you get a ship or something? It doesn’t take six months to get anywhere.”
“Mom, I’m in a ship, the Carrier Wave. And it takes six months to get to the edge of the galaxy, and that’s where I am now.”
Her forehead furrowed as she frowned. “The edge of the galaxy? What does that mean?”
“Mom, let me show you a map, okay?” She nodded, and he pressed a control on the panel. An image of the Milky Way galaxy appeared. It rotated as the view slowly zoomed in on one of the spiral arms. “Here’s Earth.” The view moved down across the center of the galaxy to a point on the ‘southern’ edge. “That’s where we are.” He let that sink in for a moment.
“But no one has been there.”
“Right, Mom. We’re the first. And now we have to come back.”
“But why did you go there?”
“We had to find help. There was someone in the network and we needed help to get them out.”
“Who is we? Did you go with that pilot you told me about?”
Jair flushed again. “Yes, Mom. Mom, Merab and I are engaged. And we’re adopting a couple of special children.”
Celia brightened up. “You are? I’m so glad! But, adopting? How did all this happen?”
“Mom, it’s a long story, but would you like to see them?”
“Of course!”
Jair pressed another control that signaled Merab. She and the two children came in. She urged them forward in front of Jair. She stood beside him and put one arm around his waist.
Celia beamed. “Oh, they’re so lovely! What are your names?”
Jair put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “His name is Merridew.” He shifted his hand to the girl’s shoulder. She flinched but bore up under it. “And this is Celia.” She turned her head and glared at him. Merab gave him an uncertain look from the corner of her eye.
But his mother was ecstatic. “Celia? Really? Oh, Jair, that’s wonderful. Oh, Celia—” She used the handkerchief to wipe her eyes again.
The girl looked back at Jair’s mother in surprise. She watched her working to get control of her emotions. Then she looked back at Jair and gave him a faint nod.
Jair felt a glow in his chest. He’d done the right thing. Maybe not the best thing, or the wisest thing, but the right thing.
For now.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
James T. Lambert writes science-fiction, urban fantasy, and a little steampunk from his writing office/land yacht ‘Bertrude’. By day he breaks carefully constructed code conceived by clever coders, while by night he sorts strings of syllibant sentences for story structure. Since his first novel-length project in the 2011 NaNoWriMo, he’s been polishing his craft, working toward his overnight success after ten years. Other than writing and breaking things, Jim also enjoys reading, movies, comics, theater, boardgames, Scotch, craft beer, hot air ballooning, and having far too many hobbies.
James T. Lambert, Proxies
