My Future Ex-Girlfriend, page 14
23. Pennsylvania is not a state but a commonwealth, like Massachusetts and Virginia.
24. Renowned New York Times columnist who wrote the influential column On Language.
25. One of the greatest baseball pitchers, who was later well-known for his homespun adages as a baseball announcer.
26. A monstrous offense or evil; an outrage. I have even heard President Obama incorrectly use this word, a mark against his alma mater, Columbia University.
27. Please do not miss footnote 26. For future generations, please learn this word.
28. I doubt she knows this particular colloquialism comes from Shakespeare’s The Tempest (act 5, scene 1). And I simply don’t have the time to educate her.
29. Put at a loss as to what to think, say, or do; bewildered; speechless.
30. I have given up my battle to spell words correctly.
31. To add to my disgrace, the advertisement was for La Saison des Jonquilles. Believe it or not, it’s still playing. Perhaps I’ll watch it alone.
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Jake Gerhardt, My Future Ex-Girlfriend
