A Smile in a Whisper, page 1
CONTENTS
Praise for The Certainty of Chance
Praise for Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye
Praise for Until the Last Star Fades
About the Author
Also by Jacquelyn Middleton
Title Page
Dedication
Note from the Author
Map of the Orkney Islands
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Glossary
Musical Inspiration
Mental Health Resources
IBD Support and Resources
Meet My Other Books!
More stuff!
Praise for The Certainty of Chance
Named as one of the
Best Holiday Romances of 2021
Entertainment Weekly
WINNER for OUTSTANDING
HOLIDAY FICTION
2022 The Independent Authors Network
WINNER for BEST ROMANCE
2022 Indie Reader Discovery Awards
“In this sweet modern romance, Middleton ably portrays the beauty of festive London, but she also depicts the heartbreaking pain of the grieving process…a charming story for music lovers and Anglophiles.”
—Kirkus Reviews (Starred Review)
“Heartrending and heartwarming, [The Certainty of Chance] is an undeniably endearing romance, perfect to read over the holidays.”
—The BlueInk Review (Starred Review)
“Destiny intervenes to stir up romance in this appealing and sensitive holiday affair…Middleton crafts [Madeleine and Julian’s] relationship into a mutually supportive, sweet connection. Great for fans of Helen Hoang’s The Heart Principle.”
—Publishers Weekly’s Booklife
“Packed with charming details, The Certainty of Chance brings the gift of London at Christmas to readers. An absolute delight!”
—Melonie Johnson, USA Today bestselling author of Too Good to Be Real
“The perfect, heartfelt holiday romance!”
—Kelly Siskind, author of New Orleans Rush
“Is there anything better than London at Christmas time? Glittering, hopeful, and touching, this is the perfect holiday read, especially for those who dream of a Christmas with tea and scones.”
—Teri Wilson, USA Today bestselling author of Once Upon a Royal Summer
Praise for Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye
“This sultry, yet sweetly heartfelt romance is a winner. Leia and Tarquin’s chemistry sizzles…the playful and racy banter is delightful. Great for fans of Candace Bushnell and Alexa Martin.”
—Publishers Weekly’s Booklife (Editor’s Pick)
“As steamy as it is heartwarming…the two main characters are undeniably endearing. Romance fans will be grateful they picked up this novel.”
—The BlueInk Review (Starred Review)
“Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye offers well-drawn, multilayered characters and stand-out sex positive romance.”
—Kirkus Reviews
Praise for Until the Last Star Fades
WINNER for ROMANCE
2019 The Independent Author Network
WINNER – BEST CANADIAN AUTHOR
2019 Northern Hearts Awards,
Toronto Romance Writers
“A delightful contemporary romance [with] a good mix of poignancy and sexy fun.” —Kirkus Reviews
“Hot new material with Hollywood appeal.”
—The Hollywood Reporter
“Until the Last Star Fades is an incredibly moving story of love, relationships, and celebrating the time you have with the important people in your life…Read this novel and your heart will thank you.”
—Hypable
About the Author
Jacquelyn Middleton lives in Toronto
with her British husband and Japanese Spitz.
She’s an award-winning author and journalist
who loves nothing better than researching her Orkney roots, cheering on her beloved Maple Leafs, and singing (badly) in the car.
A Smile in a Whisper is her sixth novel.
Follow Jacquelyn on social media and visit
her webpage to join her private Facebook group
and to sign up for her newsletter:
www.JacquelynMiddleton.com
Also by Jacquelyn Middleton
London Belongs to Me
London, Can You Wait?
Until the Last Star Fades
Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye
The Certainty of Chance
No Strings Attached (novella)
KIRKWALL BOOKS
USA—CANADA—UK
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
A Smile in a Whisper
eBook ISBN: 978-1-9992753-5-8
Copyright © 2023 Jacquelyn Middleton
First Ebook Edition, August 2023
Cover design: ThinkTank
Loving Couple photography: Phil Chester
Orkney photography: Kendra Towns
Editing by C. Marie
Kirkwall Books supports copyright, which fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and allows authors to make a living. Thank you for purchasing an authorized edition of this book—you are supporting the author and allowing Kirkwall Books to continue publishing stories for readers.
© All Rights Reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, exhibited, or distributed in any printed, electronic, or audio form, or used in generative artificial intelligence (AI) programs without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions of this work from authorized sellers. Online ‘stores’ hosted by sites like Facebook are not authorized to sell this author’s work in any format—pirated copies purchased from such sellers aren’t official or sanctioned by the author or Kirkwall Books, and are often missing chapters/artwork; the author receives no compensation for such sales and the reader doesn’t receive the book as the author intended.
This book is dedicated
to all the beautiful souls
dealing with invisible illnesses
who often hear “You don’t look sick”
from a society in dire need
of manners and empathy.
I see you. I am you.
And to my amazing sister Heather.
Orkney is in our blood and in our hearts. Forever.
Love you always. x
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
DEAR READERS,
Welcome to A Smile in a Whisper. Evie and Nikolai’s story is a standalone romance; however, it takes place in the same ‘world’ as my previous novels. Evie appeared (very briefly) in London, Can You Wait? and Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye. Nick appeared in Until the Last Star Fades and Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye. Within these pages, you’ll find laugh-out-loud moments and sexy stuff, but this book, like my others, is not a rom-com.
This story unfolds on the Orkney Islands, an archipelago of seventy islands off the northern coast of Scotland. The largest, most populated island is called the Mainland, so when you see the Mainland mentioned in A Smile in a Whisper, it’s referring to Orkney, not the Scottish mainland where Edinburgh, Aberdeen, and Inverness are located. FYI, the archipelago is called Orkney or the Orkney Islands, but never the Orkneys.
Evie in A Smile in a Whisper lives with Crohn’s disease, a chronic inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). There is currently no cure. The root cause is unknown; however, it’s diagnosed when the immune system attacks healthy tissues in the gastrointestinal (GI) tract creating inflammation, which can spark abdominal pain, diarrhea, poor absorption of nutrients, malnutrition, weight loss, anemia, and other uncomfortable symptoms. Any part of the GI tract can be affected as well as the eyes, skin, liver, and joints. The Crohn’s disease rollercoaster is a ride I know well—several people close to me, including my husband, live with it. Sometimes it flares horribly, while other times it’s under control and barely noticeable.
It’s important to note—all cases of Crohn’s are different. Physical symptoms, food intolerances, and medical treatments deviate from case to case (as does how the patient copes); therefore, the Crohn’s depiction in A Smile in a Whisper is one example and is not indicative of what others may experience. If you have questions about Crohn’s disease, please consult with your doctor or medical practitioner for up-to-date information and advice.
I realize some readers get pulled out of a story if they don’t know how to pronou
Content note: this novel contains coarse language, open- and closed-door sex scenes, Crohn’s disease/chronic illness, panic attacks, hospital scenes, underage drinking, drug use, infidelity (parental backstory), and divorce (backstory). Some scenes may also contain Orcadian words, so there’s a glossary at the back of the book to explain terms that might not be familiar to all readers.
Love music? For a preview of the playlist for A Smile in a Whisper, please visit the Musical Inspiration page. The complete playlist (and music for all my books) can be found under ‘Extras’ on my website.
ONE
“Make a wish and wish we are together
For always and forever endlessly.”
‘Smile When We Whisper’,
Torquil Campbell
EVIE
Then, Thursday, May 26, eighteen years ago
Evie Sutherland had never seen a squirrel, a train, or a McDonald’s. Not that she minded. Island life in Orkney with its unlocked front doors and mysterious standing stones was safe yet otherworldly, an unsupervised playground of seashell-strewn beaches, patchwork farmer’s fields, and archeological wonders. The tight-knit archipelago offered an unhurried childhood where Evie grew up content, never missing what she didn’t have.
Until last night.
I need to talk to Sun! Adolescent angst gnawed deep in Evie’s chest as white-capped waves surged across the Bay of Skaill. Her impatient gaze leapt past classmates, past the tour guide, and along Skara Brae’s elevated footpath where her bestie, mouth agape and dark hair dancing in the wind, stared off into the treeless horizon. Obviously, thirteen-year-old Sunita Kumari wasn’t smitten by the trials and tribulations of Neolithic life either.
“The stone houses of Skara Brae are older than Stonehenge, older than Egypt’s pyramids!” The lanky tour guide multitasked, serving up fascinating facts while leaning defensively into another ferocious gust off the bay. “But the people who lived here were just like us! They wore jewelry, used dishes.” He clawed at his patchy beard, his brittle fingernails bitten to the quick. “They even kept keepsakes in their dressers! Pretty cool, right?”
Seizing the straps of her backpack, Evie braced herself against the cheek-numbing gale as several classmates gave in to molar-flashing yawns. Others glowered. Plenty of sneering side-eye was shared.
Their teacher stepped in, rallying her troops. “We have amazing bragging rights! Did you know this is one of Europe’s oldest prehistoric villages?”
Know? You won’t let us forget! With a furious sweep of her home-cut bangs, Evie glanced at her Swatch, a colorful 1980s hand-me-down from her mother, and bowled into Sunita, breaking her friend’s daydream. “Suuun,” she grumbled, ignoring the guide’s nasal ramblings about the Neolithic box-beds on display below her glittery sneakers. “I neeed—”
“I know!” Sunita moaned through a mouthful of metal as their teacher indulged the guide with a banal question about Stone Age pillows. “She’s seriously out of control. Honestly, who gives a surprise quiz on the bus? I swear, if she steals our break—”
“I’ll bloody die.” Evie finished Sunita’s sentence as a chorus of teen rebelliousness flared around them.
“This place is so stupid,” snarled a chubby blonde girl, the daughter of the local butcher. Her defiant fists stretched the pockets of her Kirkwall Grammar School hoodie. “I HATE living here.”
Sunita nodded. “When I leave for uni, I’m never coming back.”
A red-headed boy, cheeks sprinkled with freckles, sucked in a mouthful of air. “Where’s the toilet? Like, not a shitty ancient one—a REAL one.” Desperate, his eyes bulged.
Luckily, he knew Evie. Over the past eight months, she’d memorized the whereabouts of (almost) every public washroom around the Mainland, a habit more born out of necessity than nerdiness. “In there,” she said, gesturing away from Skara Brae’s excavated houses. “The visitor center—”
“CLASS! Shhh!” warned the teacher over her shoulder. A hush swept the students as the boy dashed off. “And where are you off to?” she demanded.
With the teacher distracted, the class resumed their brazen chatting. The girl in the hoodie elbowed a yawning friend. “So—did you watch?”
Evie leaned further into Sunita. “Did you?”
“Ohmygawd, YES!” She squealed behind a veil of hair whipping wildly in the wind.
A dirty laugh loud enough to rattle a barn vaulted from Evie’s throat. Heads turned, both student and adult.
“CLASS!” the teacher barked. “How many times! BE QUIET!”
Evie and her friends flinched. “Sorry, Miss!” they mumbled in chastised unison before slipping into silence, their uncomfortable pause filled with the shrill cries of Arctic terns dive-bombing the churning surf.
“I don’t know what’s got into you today.” The teacher checked her watch. “You’ve got fifteen minutes before we head back. Make it count. This will be on the exam.” With a glare, she stormed off, apologizing profusely to the guide as they neared the visitor center.
Sunita steered Evie away for a private chat. “Who cares about this crap! Jake and Amanda actually did it!”
“I know!” Evie gasped, replaying the previous evening’s episode of Dalston Grove in her head. The television drama about a rough school in northeast London featured an ensemble of teenage actors and gritty storylines and had quickly become the talk of schoolyards around the country. But it was ‘Jake’, sixteen-year-old actor Nikolai Balfour, who stole hearts and adorned bedroom walls from the Isle of Wight to Shetland.
For two years, Evie had been doodling amorous vignettes in her study notes: Nikolai picking her up in his car for a picnic, writing her a song on his guitar, snogging her face off in front of a crackling bonfire. However, kissing was as far as her swoony reveries ventured. While the idea of “doing it” with Nikolai—with any boy—was titillating, it was also terrifying, until Jake and Amanda’s tender tryst heated up her television screen. Nikolai, the cute and dreamy pin-up you could bring home for your mum’s Sunday roast, was now the smouldering, thrusting sex god responsible for setting Evie’s mind and panties ablaze with all manner of lascivious possibilities.
There was no going back.
“I can’t stop thinking about him naked!” Evie squeezed her best friend’s arm. “Whatcha reckon? Has he done it, like, for real?”
“Of course he has,” replied Sunita. “It looked real.”
“How would you know?” A soft lilt butted in.
Letting go of Sunita, Evie spun around. Fiona Groundwater, a student from the island of Eday, blinked back. Like most teens from Orkney’s smaller islands, Fiona came to the Mainland for secondary school and lived in the halls of residence during the week. Then on Friday afternoons, she’d take the ferry back to her family on Eday, returning to residence on Sunday night. Eleven months into her time at Kirkwall Grammar and shy Fiona was still finding her feet. Her busy schedule of schoolwork, fiddle practice, and ferry sailings home didn’t leave much time for socializing with her Mainland friends. She had, however, forged a bond with Evie through their shared appreciation of dogs, scrapbooking, and of course, Dalston Grove.
