Guardian's Patience, page 24
part #5 of Guardians of the Race Series
“And oh, yeah,” she continued as if she’d just remembered something, “Let’s not forget poor Robbie Burns. Robbie was six feet tall, weighed all of a hundred and ten pounds, suffered from terrible acne and had more cowlicks than a herd of cattle. I only mention this so you’ll understand how I felt when he grunted like a pig and stuck his finger down his throat like he was gagging. Why, you ask? Because someone suggested that if he was desperate enough, he could always ask me to the dance.” Her laugh was bitter. “He wasn’t that desperate, and he never made it to the dance. He blew two tires on that old Chevy of his while he was driving on the Interstate, courtesy of yours truly.”
For a moment, Broadbent wasn’t sure if she was laughing or sobbing, and then she turned, exposing her ravaged face. He took a step toward her, but she held out her hand, determined to finish.
“I didn’t care,” she choked out. “Do you hear me? He could have died and I wouldn’t have cared. He deserved it. They all deserved it and that’s all I cared about. Would you like to hear more? Because there’s a lot to tell. It was a tough year for injuries on the football team. For basketball, too. Baseball was lucky. I’d moved on to bigger things. The Prom Queen, now there was a moment of triumph. She was so covered in hives, she was too embarrassed to show up to receive her crown. All thanks to me. I loved it. I reveled in it. And it only got better when they all changed their tune when school started the following year.
“Penny the Pig still had her boobs, but that was all that was left of her old body. No more thunder thighs. No more fat ass. No more rice pudding face with two little raisins for eyes. Penny Pendergast blossomed over that summer. She was hot. No more worry about whether or not I could touch my toes. It was the number of boys with hard-ons watching my ass as I bent over that counted. I oozed sex appeal, Broadbent, and I loved it, because the tables were turned. I had what they wanted and they couldn’t touch it. It was wonderful.” Her face crumpled with pain. She closed her eyes and bit her lip.
“And I was still ugly. Every time I looked in the mirror, I grew uglier. And the uglier I got, the more spells I used. It didn’t matter what other people saw. I knew what I was becoming. I tried to erase what I saw in the mirror. I couldn’t. He taught me the spells for power and beauty and I paid with the rotting of my soul.”
“You were always beautiful,” Broadbent argued, “He did this. Not you.”
“Damn it, Broadbent, no! I did it. I chose it,” she cried.
Pinkie knew the others were listening and no longer cared. She wanted them to hear it, to see what she was. She was tired, so tired, of living a lie. Smile no matter what. Do a good deed every day. Neither of those things could wipe away what she’d done.
Broadbent saw no one but the woman he loved, tearing herself into shreds of hatred and he gathered her to him. He ignored the pounding of her fists against his chest. “Stop it, Patience, stop it,” he insisted. “I won’t let you do this to yourself.”
“It’s already done, Broadbent,” she sobbed. She gave up the pounding and buried her face against his chest. “Don’t you see? I slept with him. He gave me my power and I bound myself to him. I said I escaped, but I went with him willingly. I’d already killed my parents. I couldn’t kill my Grandma, too. I went with him and I lived with him and I did his bidding. And years later when I saw my chance, I ran, but I didn’t escape. I can never escape.” She poured out her wretchedness onto his chest. She sank to the floor and Broadbent sank with her.
“He gave you nothing!” He held her head to his heart and stroked her hair while he whispered into it. “Poor little dove, you’ve been punished enough. You can escape him. You have escaped him. You’re with us. You’re with me. We don’t have to mate. I don’t care about that. I don’t care what you were because I know what you are now, and I want you beside me for as long as you love me.”
“I can’t love you, Pookie. That’s rule number three. Thou shalt not fall in love. He kills what I love. He’s done it before. He’ll do it again. I’ve...” She shook her head. “You don’t know him like I do.”
Broadbent lifted her chin and kissed away the tear at the end of her nose. “You’ve never loved a Guardian before, Patience. We kill them. They don’t kill us.”
“Did you really pull the trigger?” Dov asked from amidst the crowd he and his brother had called to watch. He grabbed his head with both hands. “Damn it to hell! Would you guys quit smacking me in the head? And don’t look at me like that. Nardo said that her parents were shot. I’m standing here trying to wrap my head around the fluffball shooting someone. Don’t tell me I’m the only one thinking it.”
“No, but you’re the only one dumb enough to ask it aloud,” Col snapped.
“It’s okay,” Pinkie sniffed, “He’s right. I can see it in your faces.” She wiped her eyes with Broadbent’s handkerchief and he made her blow her nose before she spoke. “I didn’t pull the trigger, Dov, but I may as well have. He wanted me to go away with him. It was the first time I told him no. I wanted to finish school. I wanted to stay near my family. I didn’t want to...” She closed her eyes and her chin dropped to her chest. She shook her head in defeat.
“You didn’t want to be what you’d become.” It was a whisper, but Hope’s voice carried in the darkness. “You see?” she said to the men, “We told you she was okay. She’s not a threat to us.” She stooped down to look Pinkie in the eye. “Grace felt your pain, but said it faded a little more each day. I said you questioned your right to happiness, but you were happy. JJ said your smile was the only lie she could detect and that was only sometimes. Manon said your cheerfulness covered your sadness like the illusions she creates from thin air. You don’t need illusions with us. We would have understood and we would have loved you anyway.”
Her words brought fresh tears. “You still don’t get it. It doesn’t matter what I do. It doesn’t matter what I say. It doesn’t matter if you understand or not. I’m still bound to him.”
“Nonsense. C’est une absurdité.” Manon strode across the deck looking sprier than she had in months. “Is she marked?” she asked Broadbent.
Broadbent looked to Otto, wondering if in spite of her appearance, Manon had lost her wits again. Otto laughed at the look.
“You’re the one who sleeps with her, son. Does she bear a mark or doesn’t she?”
Broadbent’s face flamed when he thought of her perfect, creamy skin beneath his mouth and hands. “No,” he admitted, “She’s perfect.”
Manon shrugged. “Then she cannot be bound. All bindings leave a mark.”
“But we exchanged blood,” Pinkie whispered. “I cut my finger by accident. He took it in his mouth. He sliced his palm and when I wouldn’t take it, he said my Grandmother would die more slowly than my parents. He said...”
The old woman shrugged again. “He’s a demon,” she said as if that explained everything. “Without the mark, an exchange of blood means nothing. C’est vrai, n’est pas?” she asked the others and every couple on the porch smiled and nodded.
“I can testify to the fact that he lied. I had a bastard try it on me once,” JJ confessed, “Bit me and it hurt like hell, but it didn’t do a damn thing except hurt.” She gave the twins a dirty look. “And that’s all I’m saying, so don’t ask.”
Manon ignored everyone but Pinkie. “You were a child,” she said. “And do not argue with me. You were a child.” Her finger counted each word. “You believed everything he told you and why should you not? You were a child. Nardo, tell her how her parents died.”
“I know how my parents died. It was him. He told me all about it in great detail,” Pinkie said stonily.
“Was it by demon?” she asked the Guardian as if Pinkie hadn’t spoken.
“Not likely,” Nardo replied, “I couldn’t find any hint of demon work in the police reports or the coroner’s, but that’s not necessarily proof. But get this, two weeks later the same thing happened at a bar in Livingston. Owner was alone.” He nodded at Pinkie. “A town not too far from yours, right?”
She nodded back and sniffed. “I know it.”
“Both cases are still considered open, but nobody’s looking too hard. Two weeks after that there was another hit on a bar, but this time the owner beat the odds and killed the perp. Got a ballistic match for your parents and the second robbery, but you can’t charge a dead man.”
Pinkie shook her head in denial. “That’s not true. He couldn’t have...We were...”
“You were a child,” Manon said again. She stooped low and lifted Pinkie’s chin with her finger. Her voice was gentle. “You reasoned, but like a child. You had the wisdom of a child which is no wisdom at all. You believed him because you had no experience with disbelief. You are right. He said what you wanted to hear. He taught you how to use the powers that were already yours. He did not give them to you. And to go with him to save your grandmother’s life is not to go willingly. To serve his needs to save your own life is not to do so willingly. To hide from him is understandable. You were alone and vulnerable.”
Manon straightened her back and stood tall, a reminder of the regal woman the others had known. She folded her arms across her chest as she looked down at the weeping Daughter. Her voice was no longer gentle.
“You are no longer alone and you are no longer a child. You now have a choice. Weep or fight. It is not this demon who has kept you prisoner. It is your own fear and guilt. Free yourself, or remain in the chains you yourself have forged.”
She waved her hand at the watchers. “Go about your business. Leave Pinkie alone to work this out for herself.” When the others began to move indoors, she turned to Broadbent. “I don’t suppose you will acquiesce so easily.”
Broadbent tightened his arm around Pinkie. “I won’t leave her.” He smiled down at her. “And she’s not leaving me.”
Manon gave them both a sharp nod. “It is as it should be.”
The cat sat under one of the wooden deck chairs quietly watching.
Chapter 23
Broadbent pulled Pinkie into his lap. She was still weeping and he dabbed her eyes with a clean corner of his handkerchief.
“There, there now, Patience. It’s time to stop this weeping. The worst is over and no one thinks the less of you. You’ll feel better now that it’s off your chest. My nanny used to say that to me, though I never understood why one would carry their burden on their chest. Seems rather awkward, if you ask me.”
Pinkie sniffed and looked up at him. “I means in your heart, Pookie.”
“Ah,” he said and nodded, “I see. Well, since you brought it up, I think you should address that one first.”
“What one first?”
“Your heart.”
“I didn’t bring it up. You did.”
“No, little dove. I distinctly heard you say heart. I said chest and while I find your chest extremely enticing, your heart has become the center of my universe and being the selfish prig that I am, I should like it addressed first. Do you love me, Patience Delecourt?”
Pinkie snuggled back into his chest and nodded her head.
“While this cuddling and rubbing is quite pleasantly distracting, Patience, it is not an answer. I should like to hear it aloud.”
“I love you, Pookie.”
“There. You see how easy that was? We’ll have all your concerns sorted in no time.” He kissed her forehead. “On to problem number two. Will you be my mate?”
Pinkie looked up at him with ghost of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “You’re setting me up.”
“Me? I’m doing no such thing. Manon said you must work these things out for yourself. I’m merely sorting the threads and placing them in order of importance.”
“Importance to whom?”
“To me, of course. I’ve already admitted to being a selfish prig haven’t I?”
“So you’re saying that mating you is more important than...”
Broadbent pressed her lips with his fingers. “One thread at a time, little dove. If we dump them all in a bucket, you’ll end up with a tangled mess.” He used the fingers on her lips to lift her chin so she would see his face. “If you say yes, I’ll be the happiest of men, but if you say no, I’ll still be the happiest of men because you’ve already said you love me. So, let’s try that one again. Will you be my mate?”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’ll be your mate,” she huffed in exasperation.
“Well you needn’t say it as if it’s a trial to be borne. I think it’s customary to kiss the suitor and say yes with a little more enthusiasm.”
Finally, Pinkie laughed. She pulled his head down and kissed him soundly. “Yes, yes, yes!”
“That’s the spirit.” He kissed her again. “Two down and three to go. Has this Abyar creature found you?”
Her body seemed to melt and her smile disappeared into it. “Yes. He called me through the mirror when you were injured,” she whispered, “I promised to contact him, but I didn’t. I didn’t. I only promised because you were hurt and I was afraid he’d send more of his minions and you couldn’t fight. I’m sorry. I should have...”
“Patience,” Broadbent interrupted, “Do you love me?”
“Yes.” It sounded almost like a plea. “I think I fell in love with you that very first night.”
“And I, you. That is the priority here. We love each other. All the rest is secondary. The past is the past. Our job is to keep our present safe and look with hope to the future. To do that, these questions must be asked. If you cannot answer, if you are still too afraid to answer, I will continue to love you. If you wish to leave this place, I will go with you. There are Houses like this all over the world and I am a Guardian in good standing.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Priorities, Patience.” Broadbent wrapped his arms around her. “But you must make that decision with your eyes open. Other Houses aren’t like this one. You would live nearby. I would visit when I could. We would not be allowed to live in or share a bed within the House. I would give that up, too, if it would make you feel safe and happy.”
Pinkie considered it, but only for a moment and then she shook her head. “I wouldn’t be happy living like that and as long as he’s out there, I’ll never feel safe. Sooner or later he’ll find me. It doesn’t matter where I go.” She sat up a little straighter. “Manon is right. I’ve spent years running and hiding. It hasn’t worked. I want to be free.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“Yes,” she said bravely, “I’m pretty sure I do.”
~*~
The other members of Lord Canaan’s House of Guardians were gathered in the kitchen. Grace and Hope held the sleeping babies, rocking them from side to side even though there was no need.
“That wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be,” Dov said glumly. He passed out the bottles he carried in his arms. He looked at the sober faces surrounding him. “We thought it was just the Professor being, well, the Professor. We didn’t know Pinkie was hurting. Bad.” He looked miserable.
“It wasn’t the moment I would have chosen, Dov,” Grace began.
“You can say that again,” Canaan grumbled.
“But in the long run, it’s for the best,” she continued with a commiserating smile for her mate. “It’s out now and we can deal with it. We can help.”
Nardo raised his finger for attention. “There’s more. It’s been bugging me since Broadbent and I took out those demons. They were working together, trying to take that woman. It didn’t make sense until tonight. There were two missing persons reports filed on women who match Pinkie’s description. No big deal, right? Lots of women match her description.” He looked around the room. “So did that prostitute and demons don’t operate that way.”
“Unless they’re ordered to by another demon,” Nico finished. He gave Hope’s hand a squeeze when he heard her sharp intake of breath. “You think this Abyar is out there. You think he’s looking for our Pinkie.”
“She sounded like it, didn’t she? He sounds pretty obsessive.”
“We’ve seen it before,” Canaan added. “We know they can work in organized groups. Nardo, do what you do best and start looking for patterns. How much activity and where? Broadbent fought four, got three. Nico and one of the trainees got two.”
“One,” Nico interrupted. “The boy’s got away. It was Flipper’s first battle,” he said in the trainee’s defense.
“Col and I chased two down, but lost the trail in the sewers.”
“Yeah.” Col wrinkled his nose. “That was not fun.” He brightened. “But Dov and me got one on the playground.”
“And we weren’t even on duty.”
“They’re working in pairs. Expand the scope to beyond the city proper. Grace, you have to work on Pinkie. Find out if what she knows about this Abyar creature can help us find him.”
Grace who’d been suspiciously quiet stopped rocking and shifted the baby onto her shoulder. “Ooo, does this mean I’ve been promoted from mere breeding vessel to actual member of this household?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about and now is not the time.” Canaan’s face remained conspicuously blank.
Grace’s, however, did not. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes blazed with an angry fire that reddened her face.
“If you have no idea what I’m talking about, how do you know it’s not the time?”
Col took a step back, out of the line of fire. “Look out, boys, she’s gonna blow.”
“You bet I am, Col. Why haven’t I heard about these demon kills? Why didn’t I know about what was going on out there?” She pointed to the door that would lead out to the deck. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Did you think I’d gone deaf? Not one of you was surprised when Pinkie said she killed her parents. My gasp was the only one out there. None of you flinched when Nardo gave the details. Everyone knew but me.”
