Your Coffin or Mine, page 27
I growl in frustration before clearing my throat. “Gentlemen, isn’t this a surprise?”
“Good to see you, old friend,” Jekyll says, his blue jeans and black leather jacket not matching his cane and hat. Frank leans, unmoving, dressed similarly to Doyle, like a fucking peacock in a business suit.
“Yes, it seems after all this time, Doyle is getting his wish,” I say. Doyle’s been trying to get me to meet with them for over a century now. I just wish it wasn’t now—or ever. “All of us in one place.”
“The old blighter kept you entertained, then?” Jekyll asks, breaking me out of my reverie.
Jekyll has always been the most unpredictable of the bunch, and I don’t care for the wild look in his eye. The concoctions he drinks often make him appear inebriated, but he has a cunning and intellectual mind. He makes most mad scientists from the past seem tame.
“So tell me, where is the delectable Hilda? I bet the old bag of bones has only grown more lovely with time,” he says, lifting his cane as he shrugs.
“No one is touching Hilda,” I bite out. “And what the fuck are you all doing here?”
Frank waves his hand. “You’ve been keeping secrets, Vlad,” Frank says, his gray eyes narrowing on me. Not one for humor, he sneers. “What? You think I wouldn’t know about your new human pet? I have eyes and ears everywhere.”
“My business is my own, Frank, and as ever, keep your nose out of it,” I say, wishing Doyle would hurry up. I am sure it’s his fault these imbeciles are here, as much as Frank would love to make me believe otherwise.
Doyle finally shows up, lightly sweating but mostly fine. The old dog is used to running long lengths, just not as fast as I can fly. I take in his disheveled appearance.
“What the fuck happened to you? It’s been five seconds,” I say incredulously.
“The fucking chef is trying to poison me,” he says furiously, his eyes flashing yellow. He shakes his head and his eye turn to normal. “Never mind. It’s not important.”
Jekyll, Frankenstein, the wolf, and I all in one place? It bodes ill.
I vaguely wonder how in the hell Frank knows about Aubrey, and I question if perhaps Doyle is at fault for all of this. The only one who knows how much I care for her is my friend and confidant.
I give him an untrusting look as he stands beside me, and he gives me a confused one since he’s just arrived.
If he’s betrayed me, I’ll flay him and put his head on a spike like the old days. My claws elongate, ready to tear into flesh. I’m too old, too tired for all this—and too damn desperate to return to Aubrey and make sure she’s safe.
Jekyll grins in delight at my fangs, and his eyes start to glow a bright, deep green. “If you want to play, Vlad, all you had to do was say.”
Growling, unsure if my new costume can handle the type of brawling Jekyll enjoys, I make my fangs and claws disappear.
“He looks testier than usual, Doyle,” Jekyll says, straightening his jacket, and he tips his cane. “Have you not been taking care of our blood sucker? He hasn’t been this way in, well, I can’t remember how long. Is something wrong in paradise, Daddy Dracula?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Don’t call me that.”
“Well, perhaps had you checked in more often, you would understand more about his state of wellbeing,” Doyle snarls at them both. “It has not been the easiest of centuries, as I am sure you have guessed by now, but really, you have no fucking idea.”
“Et tu, brutus?”
“He had me fucking fire my own employee for an oversight to some human, so I think I have some idea,” Frank snaps, finally pulling away from the wall.
“Yes, and I am sure he had his reasons,” Doyle fires back.
Frank points a finger and waves it between us both. “This entire situation is entirely unacceptable. Why did no one inform me of the ludicrous idea to open up a hotel? Did none of you learn anything from what happened? We are not for humans. When I learned of Vlad’s playmate, I nearly choked a minion to death. Well, to more dead.”
Doyle laughs at this, and the sound is hollow. “Times have changed, have they not? Mr. CEO of Talbot Global.”
How do they know about her already?
I blink, and something that feels oddly close to betrayal registers in my sternum. “What happened, Doyle? Did you just casually give them updates every day? Abused by my one true friend, or so I thought.” My eyes begin to glow red.
“You are such an idiot,” Doyle says.
“I beg your pardon?”
Jekyll laughs. “The internet is a wonderful place, Vlad.”
“You think I wouldn’t have done some snooping when I found out you made an Instagram account?” Frank asks incredulously, and I open my mouth to respond. “Really, Vlad? You? On Instagram? I thought it was a prank from Doyle until I saw you going viral on your human’s profile. I knew something was up straight away,” Frank says, crossing his arms and tipping his chin superiorly.
Jekyll snaps his fingers. “That one bird—what was her name? Agatha? Alicia?” He shakes his head. “Actually, I think both of those were mine. Umm, Angel. That’s the one.”
“Angelique?” Doyle supplies, obviously stunned.
He snaps his fingers again and nods. “Yes, that one was a spitfire,” Jekyll says, then whistles for emphasis.
“You knew Angelique?” Doyle asks.
“I’m pretty sure I knew her a few times,” Jekyll says, rubbing his chin in thought.
“She’s the one who put him in iron, remember? He’d been missing so long even Frank was forced to come and help,” Doyle says with a low laugh.
I shake my head. “Is it really such a great mystery as to why I don’t open my home to vagrants? Fuck all of you. Months of being held and locked in a cage by some enraged woman hell-bent on having immortality, and what do I get? You lot sharing it like it’s an old bedtime story.”
“Whatever happened to Angelique, anyway?” Jekyll asks.
I growl. “She married some farmer in the Americas.”
Growing bored with standing idle, Jekyll starts to explore, weaving between the pews. He picks up random books left inside the old place from god knows when before tossing them to the floor. No one stops him, as it’s never a good idea to get in the way of his movements.
“Hey, I think I left my favorite jacket here,” he says to himself, and I shake my head.
He lights a match, and the fireplace comes to life. Of course he starts a fire even though no one here needs it. Pyromaniac. At least it’s contained this time.
“Do you mind?” I grumble, waving at the flames.
“Don’t mind if I do,” he says cheekily.
I eye the floor where Jekyll has created a pile of bibles and the like. I have had enough of this. “I’m afraid I must ask you to leave. We can even have one of your little tea parties soon, my treat of course,” I say, clapping my hands once. “But do piss off.”
I turn around to head to the skewed double doors, intent on heading back to Aubrey, images of our extended vacation around the world bouncing around in my mind.
“Oh, and what were we to do exactly? Knock on the door and ask to come in?” Frank says derisively.
“No, absolutely not, and I’ll tell you why. This is my home, not some supernatural gathering place,” I snap, the need to get back to Aubrey itching just beneath my skin, making me more agitated by the second.
“You know, I think he’s gotten grouchier with time. We assumed you would want to see us after so long, Vlad,” Jekyll says, his tone hurt and whiney. A complete lie. “I suppose you think yourself too lofty now?”
“You assumed incorrectly. I just have no desire to relive New Orleans.”
“That wasn’t so bad,” Jekyll says. “Odette was . . .” He purses his lips and smacks them obnoxiously.
No one can resist Odette. I glance at Frankenstein, who looks like he wishes to pummel Jekyll for mentioning her. Well, most can’t resist Odette. The witch queen herself is like a siren to the supernatural, all except for Frank.
My brow lifts. “She made us start the fire of London. Well, you lot, mainly.”
“Okay, I’ll admit that got out of hand, but Frank was holding the lantern. That wasn’t my fault,” Jekyll says, placing his hand over his heart. He bats his eyes, like he thinks any of us would find that tasteful.
A muscle ticks in Frank’s jaw and his eyes darken as if shadows line his irises. “You told me to hold it.”
Jekyll pats Frankenstein’s chest, practically reaching above his head to do it, although Jekyll is six foot himself. “Let it go, man.”
“All of this is irrelevant to why we’re here,” Frank bites out, before shooting a glare at Jekyll. “How do you always derail the point of everything?!”
“Well, does it matter if Vlad is in love with a human?” Jekyll asks him as he picks up a bible, only to curl his lip in disgust. “I mean, as long as he doesn’t bite her, it’s all null and void, right?”
“You cannot be serious,” Frank says, anger lining his face. “I told you no humans. It’s why I went to all the fucking trouble to make the sunscreen. Can you imagine him heartbroken? You thought the fire of London was bad.”
Jekyll clears his throat. “Ahem, last I checked, I made the sunscreen.” All eyes immediately go to him, and he shrugs. “Well, I did.”
“I was willing to make sure you could live among us,” Frank retorts, his ears turning a faint green color. “I know the allure of humans. I understand how tempting they are, but it is futile to even suggest it.”
“Pretending to be a human to fit in among the sheep is hardly living,” I tell him.
“This will never work. I know it, and more importantly, you know it. Love does not exist, not for people like us,” Frank continues his blustering. “Humans die too easily.”
My claws and fangs return. “She is mine, and you will not touch her, so it is irrelevant.”
He grins evilly. “I don’t really have to, do I? Even if she could love and accept who and what you are, where does that leave you? Seventy years with her if you’re lucky. Just enough to bring you down when she does pass,” he bites out. “I won’t have it. Turning her is impossible. She’ll die.”
“This conversation will quickly become a confrontation if you continue, Frank,” I growl out.
Frankenstein laughs. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you would be so easily influenced by a human. Mark my words, this won’t end well.”
“No one is controlling me. If you truly think I would ever put any of us in jeopardy, then you are sorely mistaken.”
“How exactly did you influence her, then?” Jekyll retorts.
“I didn’t,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Aubrey is not like that. She isn’t like Angelique,” Doyle states to no one in particular. “I’ve tried to keep her away from him and vice versa, but it’s not working.”
“How do we know you’re telling the truth? In this lies the conundrum, lads,” Jekyll speaks up, fumbling in his pocket for a cigar. He clamps it with his teeth as he lights it.
“Bring that into the castle and I will make you eat it,” I say, pointing at it.
He arches a brow. “Charming as ever, Tepesh. You have a wonderful new pussy—I mean gentlewoman—to play with, and yet you’re still angsty.”
Within the blink of an eye, I fly across the cathedral, snatch him by the throat, and lift him into the air. I will not have anyone speak of her this way.
He grins above me. “Down, killer. For fuck’s sake, I was only kidding.”
Snarling, I throw him, watching as he lands in a heap with an oomph, his body slapping the ground. He pops up like a fucking dandelion, fixing his suit and dusting it off before looking for his cigar. I stamp it out, and he gives me a pout.
“You have to either wipe her memory or we kill her,” Frank says, his blonde hair lifting slightly with the wind.
“No one is killing anyone,” Doyle interjects, his voice obviously annoyed.
Red clouds my vision. “You want me to wipe her memory?”
“Yes,” Frank insists. “If you haven’t bitten her, then—”
Doyle steps between us, holding his arms out, knowing I am seconds from ripping Frank’s face off. “No one is wiping anyone’s memory.”
“You don’t have a say in it, pup,” Frank sneers.
“Why can’t we all just get along?” Jekyll calls out.
“I have,” I finally state. They all turn to me, wearing various expressions of disbelief. “I’ve bitten her. I’ve made my side of the bond.”
“You’re fucking joking!” Frank yells, as Doyle slaps his hand over his face. “Do you know what this means?!”
Yes. It means they can’t do anything. It could fade, but I won’t let that happen. She may be human, but she is my mate, whether or not any of them believe me. As an immortal, now that I’ve started it, she can return it—despite her current mortality.
“I am leaving. Feel free to see yourselves out,” I toss over my shoulder as I walk away.
I make it a few steps and Frank starts laughing. “One hundred years and this is what you have to show for it? Lovesick over some insignificant human. You fool, you don’t know what you’ve done,” he says, and I ready myself, waiting for any excuse to rip into him. “Humans cannot be trusted. How often have you said those same words?”
“Watch yourself.”
“You know the rules. If you wipe her mind before she returns it, all will be well.”
“For the last time, no one is wiping anyone,” Doyle snaps, losing his patience. He stomps to put himself in Frank’s line of sight. “Aubrey is innocent and has actually been good for him, from what I can tell.”
Surprise that he’s defending me, and her, fills me. He gives me a look over his shoulder that says he will side with me, no matter how he feels.
“I’m done talking to you lot. Gentlemen, if you’ll excuse me, I have a party to get back to. Doyle, make sure they leave my home.”
“You will regret this,” Frank says to my back.
The only thing I regret is leaving Aubrey alone and unattended for any amount of time. Especially with Frank here, the one person I need her farthest from. The thought of her being hurt by anyone makes my hair stand on end and my undead heart feel like it’s fallen from my chest.
I wave my hand dismissively as I exit the cathedral. They won’t do anything, not with her under my watchful protection.
“Threaten me all you like, Frank, but I promise you this: friend or no friend, if you touch a single hair on Aubrey’s head, I will burn your precious empire to the ground and dance on the ashes. I may be old, and let myself wither for an age, but you forget who I am.”
The Dracula Tepesh.
I have been alive for longer than all of them, and I will outlive them as well.
Chapter 34
AUBREY
“Really, Fifi. Really? All the way down here? Like, what were you even after?” I say to him as I hold him in my arms. “There are zero doggy treats in here, bud, and definitely no hot babes for you to bark at.”
After trekking awkwardly through the dark hallways for ages, my red dress clinging to my thighs as I walk, I am currently cursing myself for not wearing comfortable shoes. Anything that looks remotely familiar would be amazing at this point. My palms are clammy, and sweat has been trickling down my spine so much I know this dress is ruined even though the cloak protects it.
I look down at my phone for the millionth time, cursing it for not giving me bars this deep in the castle. It’s the whole cellar issue again, but apparently worse. Not to mention the corridors down here are definitely creepier at night, and I have been fighting panic for what seems like hours already.
The pug whines suddenly and I squeeze my arms around him tighter.
“What is it, boy?” I whisper.
We are, after all, in this together and talking out loud makes the tunnel less scary, which means I haven’t shut up since Whitley said the dog had raced off this way. Vlad has never taken me down here, and I didn’t know it existed until I saw Fifi’s chunky little butt racing down some stairs. I hope he wasn’t chasing a rat.
“Oh, George owes me big time. Your owner is in for a rude awakening, and I swear I will get you a nice leash. It will be perfect.” The dog growls again. I don’t know if it’s at me, or a spooky ghost I can’t see, but it scares me every time he does it. “Okay, maybe like a diamond-studded leash. You help me find our way back and I will buy you so many dog treats you won’t know what to do with yourself.”
My god, my feet are killing me. There is no way I can wear these shoes for much longer.
My eyes land on a lever on the wall. “Look, Fifi, we are saved.”
After some unladylike cursing and grunting, the lever finally moves and the wall rotates, revealing an outdoor exit. Nothing about this area of the castle looks remotely familiar. Snow flurries swirl, and the bite of winter slaps at my cheeks, chapping my lips almost instantly.
“This is so not the door I was looking for.” I shiver and hold Fifi closer to steal his warmth. “Man, it’s cold.”
A flash of light passing outside in the distance catches my eye, and I can just make out the vague outline of someone moving quickly and holding a lantern.
“Hey, you!” I shout, but the sound is lost in the wind.
I look down, shaking my head at the dog.
“We are not doing it,” I say, glancing in the direction the lantern guy went. “That’s like the start of every horror story ever.” Shivers slide up my spine and Fifi yowls pitifully. “C’mon, it’s just a joke. We’re totally safe.”
I step back inside the castle tunnels and pull the lever again, relieved when the door slides back into place, blocking out the cold. Whoever that was out there is mental.
“Maybe there is another farther down that will take us back to the kitchen,” I murmur. I pet Fifi’s soft tawny coat. “Let’s get out of here, huh? Vlad or someone will find us eventually.”
