Unexpected Hero: An age gap forbidden romance, page 51
Probably.
Yeah. I’ll do that.
All I need to do is wait a few more hours until I see her again. I can keep it together for a few hours. No sweat.
I’ve tapped into the part of my psyche that I learned to access as a kid. It allows me to shuffle my worries around, pushing them aside so other thoughts can take the lead. Emotions can be sorted in much the same way.
It’s how I can be of use to my team in high-stress situations. Like flipping a switch, I turn off upsetting thoughts and fears, then zero in on what needs to be done.
Today is no different.
Until the workday ends, all my concerns about Lettie are neatly stacked to the side. Doing so has allowed me to finish up Mia’s training.
I shot a note to Boss earlier today to let him know I had an update for him on the status of my team. I’ve just been summoned to see him.
“You can head right in,” Peggy tells me when I approach Boss’s open door.
When I enter his office, he waves me in, motioning to the table. I take my seat, and he joins me a few seconds later. He sets his tablet down and props his phone up in an odd position.
“I didn’t bring my laptop. I assumed we were just talking about the team.”
He flicks his wrist at me. “Oh we are. You’re fine.” He glances at his phone. “I’m expecting an important call.”
I sit quietly, waiting for him to begin.
He clears his throat. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” I reply flatly.
He narrows his eyes at me, brows drawn tight and hands steepled in front of his face.
I hate when he does this shit. Looks at me like I’m going to crack under his intense scrutiny, if only he can wait me out.
How does he always know when something is wrong?
Did he have us all implanted with neuron chips or something?
It’s not going to work this time. I’ve waited him out before.
“Mm-hmm,” he mumbles, nodding at me and hardening his gaze even further. If he squints much more, both eyes will be sealed shut.
Three seconds more. Then five.
I snap at ten seconds.
“What?” I bark out.
“You’re not yourself lately. You’ve been up and down for the last several months. I know something is going on with you. I’m concerned. I keep waiting for you to come and talk to me, but you haven’t. I’m done waiting.”
Holding silent, I stretch out my lower lip, clamping it with my top and jutting my jaw forward. His words have no effect on me. His intuition won’t prove accurate today.
But on the inside, I’m screaming at him. I’m in love with your daughter, who you don’t know exists. And she’s probably going to break up with me because I crossed lines I don’t understand, all in the name of caring for her. Or what I thought was caring for her. Oh and she might be pregnant, but I already fucked that up too. No big deal.
Five more seconds of his scrutinizing silence, and he makes me snap again. Damn him.
“Boss, I’ve got some personal shit going on. That’s all. But it hasn’t affected my work in the least.”
“I know your work is fine. I’ve never doubted that for a second, and I never will.”
My eyes shoot from side to side, my teeth grinding. “Then why are we talking about it?”
His nostrils flare with a deep inhale. “Tomer, I know family is a touchy topic. This is a reminder that your Redleg family is here for you.” He leans forward, arms resting on the table. “I’m here for you. Same as I always have been.”
His words make my breath catch, bringing up memories of my blood-soaked hands holding my father’s near-lifeless frame.
I clear my throat to play it off. “I know that, Boss.”
He’s Big Al now, not Boss. There’s a difference, and by calling him that, I’m aiming to keep that distinction front and center.
“Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk about? Get it off your chest, whatever it is. I’d never judge you.”
No one has ever held less judgment of me than him. And he’s seen me at my lowest. But he didn’t turn away from me that night. Saving my ass and probably my life.
I look down at my thighs and notice I’m picking at my jeans. “Nothing is bringing me down.”
He quirks his head to the side. “Didn’t say anything about bringing you down. You said that. In fact, you’ve seemed happier lately, but there’s something underneath all that. Call it a gut feeling, but it’s like you’re conflicted.”
His famous fucking gut. If he could bottle and sell that instinct, he’d be retired and living out his days with Madeline in Hawaii by now.
With a shake of my head and a roll of my eyes, I shift forward in my seat. “Did we have any work to discuss? I need to get back to the kids before they break something.”
His dimple pops a second before one of his belly laughs starts low and slow, then bellows louder. “Kids? I like that.” He drags his weathered hand over his beard, tinged with more gray streaks than it was when we first formed Redleg. “All right. Shop talk. Tell me about the kids. How is it going? And don’t sugarcoat it.”
“They’re good. Workwise, I’ve got no complaints. Mia’s technical skills are unsurpassed. In many ways, she’s far better than me. Cocky, but it’s deserved. She’s handled four CPD cases so far, which resulted in new leads for them. And the client dossier work I’ve given her is outstanding.”
“You trust her?”
“As much as I trust most people I’ve known for a short period of time.”
He arches one brow. “How much digging did you do on her?”
I open my mouth to answer, and he stops me with a raised finger. “And I mean more than what you put in the background file you gave me before we hired her.”
A slick-as-shit grin eats up my face. I couldn’t stop the rare show of emotion if I tried. I’ve always liked how he knows me that way and is fine with it.
I can only hope he feels the same when I tell him that my digging into his background turned up an old and outdated copy of a birth certificate with his name on it.
“I did my due diligence on Mia if that’s what you mean. She helped me by giving me her personal laptop on her first day here. I held onto it for a few days, copied everything I needed to be able to monitor her. So far, nothing concerning has come up. Of course, she could have engineered it that way, but I’m watching.”
He smacks his lips in a tsking sound. “You’re always watching, aren’t you?”
My sly grin grows. “Old habits die hard, Boss.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s fair after the shit we saw over there. And back home.”
I don’t answer. He didn’t ask a question.
His knuckles tap on the desk. “So Mia is good. What about Klein?”
Without hesitation, I answer in earnest. “She makes him better.”
He purses his lips, eyes widening in either surprise or disbelief. “Really?”
“Yeah. He watches her. A lot. And not only because he’s attracted to her.”
He laughs quietly this time, and it holds a hint of alarm. Makes sense because it’s likely not the best idea to have staff involved when working together so closely on our new three-person intel team.
I rub the back of my neck. “But while he’s watching, he’s learning. His thought process is different than it used to be. I can see him working through challenges differently. Asking for help less and taking more initiative. She’s good for him.”
“Excellent. That’s great. I want to make it permanent for him if I can. I know he wants that. Guess he got sick of risking his life for the wealthy who hire us.”
“That’s not why he wants it. Not entirely.”
The wrinkles in his forehead deepen. “What is it?”
“I think his mom is sick. He hasn’t said as much, but something is going on with her.”
He’s taken too many calls. Snuck away too many times. And his emotions are all over the place. And all that started before Mia flipped him upside-down. Since he wears his heart on his sleeve, it’s plain to see if you’re looking.
Plus, I hacked into his texts with his sister.
“Shit. I’ll talk to him about that. I have a one-on-one with him later this week unless something urgent distracts the team. And isn’t that always the way?” He exhales a haggard rasp. “But I wanted your evaluation on his readiness first since he’s likely to ask about a permanent transfer.”
I nod, waiting for a question. That wasn’t one.
“About the two of them.” He lowers his chin. “Is it going to be a problem to have them working together?”
Drawing back in my chair, I roll my shoulders to loosen the brewing tension. Although he’s moved the topic away from me, it’ll never stop rolling around my mind.
Tension that’s mostly there because I want to tell him about Lettie. But I think I need to tell her first.
Or do I?
Fuck.
I shake off that worry for now and redirect my thoughts to his question. “I snapped at them about an hour ago when the tension spiked. Then I walked out to give them a few minutes to handle their shit, and when I got back the vibe was much better. I think they’ll work it out. They’re both committed to the job, so I expect that’ll prevail regardless of their personal issues.”
He checks his phone, nibbling his lip. “I’ll avoid thinking about how they relieved the tension and just be grateful they did.”
If they have sex in the lair, I’ll put them both on the MFKL.
“I’ll do that too. Safer for everyone involved.”
He glances at his phone again. We sit in silence for a handful of seconds.
“Anything come up lately with anyone else in the family?”
“Meaning?”
“Anyone else at Redleg got anything going I need to be concerned with?”
“Oh.” I shake my head, running my hands along my thighs in soothing strokes. “No. Nothing new.”
Although, I haven’t been watching much over the last few months. Been a bit distracted.
“Excellent.” He slaps his palm on the table. “Any new business?”
Wordlessly, I shake my head, channeling my emotionless mask to shield me.
But on the inside, my stomach pitches and rolls in a riotous tumult.
I need to confess the secrets I’ve been hiding.
I should tell him.
There aren’t any excuses worthy of deceiving the only man who ever protected me.
Redleg is good. Things are calm — finally. I’ve waited for things to settle, and they have.
He’s a logical man, and I have no doubt he’ll understand why I hid her for so long. He’ll know I was protecting him. Like he protected me.
But if I tell him, I’ll definitely lose Lettie.
The pain I’ve felt this weekend from suspecting I’m losing her will become real and permanent, darkening the cavern in my chest to a blackness I haven’t experienced in more than a decade.
He prods me harder. “Any chance you’ve reconsidered talking to me about whatever is happening in your personal life?”
I cannot lose her. It’ll kill me.
All I need is a little more time to find a way to keep her. To protect her from the pain.
Just a little more time.
“Nope.”
He’s a second away from doing that brain probe thing again when his phone signals and the screen lights up.
Saved by a text.
I’m physically unable to stop myself from glancing at the screen. Heart emojis by the contact name capture my attention, the bright red screaming off the black screen in the little text preview.
A megawatt smile spreads up his face as he sets the phone down. “Okay. If there is nothing else, it’s time for my call.”
“Sure thing, Boss.”
On my way back to the office, the curiosity of what made Boss smile like that starts getting to me. Fucking heart emojis and Big Al do not go together. At all. It’s a more unlikely combo than me and heart emojis.
As a general rule, I don’t give two shits about people’s social lives so long as it doesn’t affect work. But I have to wonder if what I just witnessed is an even brighter neon flashing sign that now is the time to tell him. And that’s something else I don’t typically lend weight to. Signs? Those are illogical.
But with Mia assimilating and Klein joining my team full-time, I’ve finally got the capacity to ease the burden on Boss, allowing him to focus on getting to know his daughter. And if his life outside of Redleg is going well too — like it seems — this is the perfect time.
I can’t stand in the way of them anymore. No matter how it affects me.
This isn’t about me — it’s Big Al’s and Lettie’s lives. And they deserve to know. Holding out for selfish reasons is a mistake I can’t keep making for the two most important people in my life.
There was never a good way for us to end. At least I’ll be confessing on my own instead of it getting out some other way. If there’s a chance for her to forgive me, it needs to happen this way.
And now.
Once I’m at my desk, I resist the compulsion to get a phone number for the person labeled with heart emojis. I could get it off his phone. Easily.
It’s got to be Madeline — Leo’s mother. So it doesn’t matter. All I need to know is that he’s happy. Decision made.
Mia makes an excuse to work in her office instead of the lair. Klein follows a few minutes later, leaving me alone.
Just like old times.
I should be grateful for the alone time, but dammit, I miss the two of them. The Tin Man has a heart, after all.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket. My pulse spikes, dread curdling in my gut.
Freya
Consider this your friendly reminder to get off Lettie so she can fulfill her work obligations. Untie her or whatever. Since she’s not answering her phone, I figure her hands are bound.
Me
What do you mean?
Freya
I realize you two needed to have a sexy weekend fuck fest and all, but wrap it up and send her home. I got shit to do and can’t be covering the front desk all night. It’s trivia night. We’re gonna be slammed.
Me
I haven’t seen her all weekend. What are you talking about?
Freya
Wait. What? She didn’t come home all weekend. She wasn’t with you?
Me
No. When did you last see her?
Freya
At the Stumbling Sea Turtle on Friday night.
Me
And after? When you went home?
Freya
She didn’t come home with me that night. If she isn’t with you, where is she? Holy shit, James. This isn’t good.
With my heart in my throat and lead in my stomach, I dial Freya.
As soon as the line connects, I blurt, “What do you mean she didn’t come home with you?”
“She was staying for the singing contest. Plus, she and Vanessa were sort of having a tiff. I needed to get Vanessa out of there because she was so drunk she could hardly stand, but Lettie insisted on staying behind to sing. She was already texting you to pick her up when Vanessa and I left. A while later, she messaged me that she made it to your place.”
“Well, she didn’t. She texted me that she needed time to think and asked me to leave her alone for the weekend.”
“That’s crazy. That wasn’t her state of mind when we left. She wanted to see you. I know she did. What time was that text?”
My trembling hands drag across my forehead, my fingertips digging in punishingly. “We were messaging back and forth around 2330,” I catch myself using military time and amend, “around eleven thirty, but she never told me to come get her or even implied it. Her last message, sent around two a.m., asked me to leave her alone.”
“Oh no, no, no,” Freya whines, then launches into a long-winded rant. “That’s around the last time I heard from her. When I left her at the club, I made her promise to let me know when you got there. I even sent her a reminder message. After an hour, I called, but it went straight to voicemail. She finally texted me back, but I was up to my tits making sure that Vanessa didn’t aspirate in her sleep. She was wrecked.”
“I don’t give a fuck about Vanessa,” I yell, a murderous rage simmering in my veins. “Are you telling me you left Lettie alone in a fucking nightclub? Alone? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I knooow. Fucking hell. I’m sorry!” she trills, her volume quickly matching mine. “Vanessa was nearly passed out at the bar. I had to get her out of there, and Lettie refused to go with us.” A muffled sob comes through the receiver. “Dammit, James. I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. But you know how stubborn Lettie can be, and she wanted that prize money. I wish I would’ve waited for you to get there, but Vanessa literally couldn’t stand. Dammit. Fuck. What have I done?” Another sob. “What do we do? What do we fucking do?”
I pull forth the only remaining thread of calmness from deep inside me, focusing on action steps.
We’re already behind by almost three days.
I need details. As many as possible.
We already have the timeline of when she was taken. It had to be between when we were messaging and when I got there to look for her. It’s not that long of a window. Maybe I can find a license plate. Security footage from the club.
“Freya, call the cops to report her missing, giving them every detail you remember. I’ll try to track her phone and start looking for her.”
“Okay. I’m so sorry, James. If something happens to her —”
I cut her off. “Nothing is going to happen to her. I won’t let it. I’ll fucking find her. Call the cops.”
