Eternus (Treachery Trilogy Book 3), page 23
I stuff clothes into my backpack and then swing it over my shoulder.
“Moving out?” Bunny asks. He’s lying on his bed, staring at me from beneath his long bangs.
“No. Just staying ready.”
“The caravan is supposed to leave in three days.”
“Yeah.”
We let the silence linger while I grab another bag to pack.
Over my shoulder, Bunny asks, “Are you really leaving? Again?”
I hate the way he adds ‘again’ to that, as if I had a choice in leaving the first time.
“I want to return to Eternus,” I reply. “It’s a good place.”
“What about your foster mom?”
That makes me pause right in the middle of folding a t-shirt. I’ve always wanted to find my mother. That hasn’t changed. I’ve already checked with church officials; her name isn’t on the roster and there’s no information on when my neighborhood was evacuated. It was turned over to the National Guard pretty early on, but no one knows what happened after that. So many shelters have been lost and overrun by enemy forces or even lost to mutiny. There are survivors out there just as violent as the soldiers. I still have hope to find my foster mom, but that won’t happen if I stay here and get killed.
“I will never stop searching for my mom,” I tell Bunny.
He hums and I hear his blankets rustling. “I believe you. Since you never stopped looking for us.”
That’s true. I’m only here now because I snuck out of Eternus to find everyone. I never told my friends about the day I spent alone with Raven and how that got us caught and shot at, but still. I left for them.
“Is this gonna be goodbye?” Bunny asks.
I turn around and sit on the edge of my bed. Bunny is sitting on his bed, his hands in his lap like a kid. He’s always looked so young, so it was easy to treat him like my little brother back in college. I remember his first day at the first house, moving in with his large suitcase and unblinking eyes. He was deathly afraid of Adrian and Memphis, but when I cracked a joke about beating them up for him, he laughed so hard that he snorted and we’ve been friends ever since. We trained together, had a few classes together, partied together, and on nights when we were too tired to go out, we sat together like this.
So much has changed since those simple, boring nights.
“It doesn’t have to be goodbye,” I say.
He nods slowly. “Ae-cha—”
“Would you regret leaving her?”
“I would.”
“Then stay.”
“Caesar—”
I stand. “Love is hard to come by in this world. You should hold on to it if you’re one of the few who finds it.”
He doesn’t say anything, but I feel him staring at my back. I know he’s thinking of Mya, wondering if I traveled all these miles, braved such dangers, just to see her again. And find her with Adrian.
Yes, I was lovesick enough to do all of that. And I don’t regret it. I regret not doing it earlier. I lost her. I lost the one who mattered.
“To Adrian, of all people,” I grumble without realizing.
Bunny shifts behind me. “I should go,” he says.
I turn to tell him it’s alright, but he’s already at the door and when he swings it open, Mya is standing there with her hand poised to knock. She seems as stunned as we are to have her presence suddenly revealed.
“Oh! Sorry,” she says quickly. “I was just going to knock.”
“Oh boy,” Bunny mutters.
“Excuse me?”
He glances back at me and then smiles. “Nothing, Mya. You’re right on time.” Bunny steps aside and dramatically sweeps his arms out to allow Mya to pass. “I was just leaving.”
“Perfect timing,” I say.
He winks before he shuts the door, leaving Mya and me in the muted silence that follows. She stands awkwardly in the middle of the room. It’s oddly reminiscent of a college dorm; two small beds crammed against either wall with a dresser between them.
“Wanna sit?” I wave at Bunny’s bed as I sit on mine. This bed used to belong to Adrian. I wonder if he sat here with Mya before I showed up. I wonder if they cuddled together. If they made love on these blankets. There’s so much I don’t know. So much I can’t know. So much I don’t want to know now.
I sigh. “What did you come here for?”
Mya looks stunned and hurt by the question, but she recovers quickly and offers a vacant smile. “I wanted to see you. Alone.”
“You wouldn’t be here to confess your undying love, would you?”
The joke is bad and earns a stern look from Mya, but I shrug it off.
“Didn’t think so.”
“I came to tell you that I’ve missed you. I didn’t get to tell you that earlier.”
“Is that all?”
“Don’t be a jerk.” She crosses her arms. “Of all the times to act like Julius Caesar—”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She disarms me with a goofy laugh. “There he is. My Julie.”
Gosh… I exhale a chuckle and wipe my hand through my hair. The tension seems to ease a bit, and I feel like I can breathe again. Nothing unites old friends like a quick fight.
“I’ve missed you, too,” I say softly. “I’ve missed you a lot.”
Mya moves fast, I don’t see her cross the little space between us, but I feel her suddenly there. Her arms wrap around my neck, her cheek presses against mine. I hug her hard, feeling wetness crawl down my face.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers.
“Neither can I.”
We stay like that for a long time, longer than we need to. I don’t want to let her go, because once we untangle ourselves, she’ll go back to being Adrian’s girlfriend. And I’ll be alone again.
“I’m sorry I came too late,” I say into her hair.
She squeezes me tighter. “No, Julie. You’re right on time.”
I let go of her to blink in shock but the look on her face tells me I’m not about to hear that confession of love any time soon.
“What do you mean?” I ask in a sigh.
“God brought you back into my life when I was ready to have you here in a way that pleases Him.”
I grunt because I know she’s telling the truth. I knew it when I made that awful mistake with Raven. I knew it when I saw her with Adrian. I knew it when I held her in my arms and didn’t feel that heart-stopping passion we used to have before.
I still love Mya. Madly. Deeply. But the love between us has changed. I love her as my best friend. As my sister. The way God always intended. She was never meant to be anything more than what she is to me now. My support. My strength. My gentle reminder of the love of Christ. Now that I’ve discovered that love for myself, I don’t need to cling to her so hard. I can let her go. Move on. Learn to love another.
I just … I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know if I’m ready.
Mya touches my cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” I lean into her hand. “I don’t regret a second of my life with you, Mya. I’d look for you all over again if I could. And I’d find you.”
She leans down and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes and exhale slowly.
“Do you love him?” I whisper, and I feel her nod against my head.
“We want to get married.”
Those words should break me, but they don’t. They just make it clear that Mya isn’t the one God has for me. That sucks. It really does, but I know He’ll give me strength to get over it.
“I want your blessing,” she says softly.
Gosh. It’s not enough to break my heart, she’s got to ask permission first?
I don’t really know what to say, so I stare at Mya, searching her eyes for the truth. Trying to see if this is truly what she wants. I see the girl I grew up with, smiling and laughing beside me. I see the girl I ignored in high school and set aside for later use. I see the girl who took my breath away in college, and then I see the girl I fell for. The one I kissed and snuck away with, the one I promised I’d try so hard for. The one I let slip away. I let her go to chase after sex, and I’ve been running behind her ever since. Hoping to make things better. But it was God’s plan to make me a better person all along. I don’t like it. I really don’t. But what else can I do except accept it?
It’s pointless to fight God, besides, surrendering to His will here only means there’s something greater in my future. If I have the patience to wait.
“Is this what you really want?” I whisper.
Mya nods. “More than anything. But it isn’t just about Adrian. It’s about you, Julie.”
“How can you say that?”
“I want your blessing because I need to know that you’re okay with this. That we’re okay.”
I see. This is as hard for her as it is for me. Not because she still has feelings for me but because she cares. I don’t know what God saw in Adrian that He didn’t see in me, but Mya really wants this, and she has permission from God to do this. So … as long as she’s happy, then so am I.
I take a breath and nod, but not for Mya’s sake. I do it for myself. I’ve got to move on and find happiness, too.
“You have my blessing, Mya. I’m happy for you.”
Her eyes brim with tears but they don’t fall, she blinks them away like she’s ashamed to cry in front of me.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
I take her hand. “You’ve got my blessing but please don’t let Adrian ask me to be his best man.”
That makes her laugh. “I don’t know when we’ll get married. But we want to. First, we have to decide where we’ll be in the next few months and plan from there.”
“You haven’t made a decision yet?” That catches me off guard, considering her father is at Eternus. I thought there was no discussion necessary. Of course she’s leaving with the caravan.
Right?
“Mya, you’re coming to Eternus, right?”
She hesitates—and before she can answer, the lights shut off and a piercing sound screams through the bunker halls. The emergency low lights flicker on, they’re set into the floor, so the room is aglow like a nightclub. Mya is silhouetted by the light; I can just make out her panicked features as she covers her ears and yells over the alarm.
“What’s going on!?”
Shouldn’t I be asking that? I’m the new guy here, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out something’s wrong. Very wrong. There can only be one answer to her question.
“Intruders!” I shout back.
I’m on my feet the next second, tugging on my backpack and reaching for Mya’s hand. She takes it without missing a beat and we fly into the hall to find it filled with people. The sound of shrieks can be heard over the wail of the alarm, but it’s clear the voices aren’t screaming in pain. They’re calling names, searching for each other. There are too many people in the hall and not enough light. It’s impossible to get my bearings, especially since I don’t exactly know where I’m going. What’s the protocol here?
Mya grips my hand and takes the lead, tugging me in the opposite direction of where I thought the stairwell was. She shouts over her shoulder, “We can find him this way!”
Him?
I tug Mya into an alcove, shielding her from the crowd with my body. We’re face-to-face with her back against the wall, but she doesn’t seem to mind the proximity. “Where are we going?” I ask loudly.
“To the infirmary! I need to find Adrian!”
My nostrils flare in frustration. I’m not angry that she wants to see her boyfriend, I’m annoyed that we aren’t on the same page right now. Adrian isn’t my priority here. I already saved him once. Right now, I need to find Major Banks and the rest of my squad so we can form a plan.
“I’ve got to find my team!” I tell Mya.
She stares at me. “Julie—”
“Get to the exit gates!” I shout. “I’m sure evacuations are underway. You need to get out of here, Mya. You and Adrian.”
“We need to leave together!”
“I’ll see you again,” I say quickly, then I hug her. Squeeze her. “I’ll see you at Eternus.”
28
Mya
I watch Julie run in the opposite direction, his shoulders bouncing with each stride, his strong body moving nimbly through the crowd. He is the image of a hero running into battle. Brave and fierce and handsome. And then he’s gone, swallowed by the panicking campers. The hall is flooded with noise. The alarm never stops blaring and people never stop panicking, shouting, pressing against each other as they search for family and friends and a safe way out.
Something whistles in my ears, louder than the bell ringing, louder than the voices ever rising. It is fear. Grating and constant. It echoes through the chambers of the shelter, trapped in these concrete walls. When it finds no exit, it blackens with anger and darkens the hall. I see it settle on the crowd as pushing turns to shoving and shouting turns to screaming. We are no longer pressing toward the exit but rushing the doors, our minds brimming with fear. Fear that makes us angry. Fear that makes us irrational. Fear that ruins us from the inside out.
I’m shoved against the wall by a man twice my size. The force rips a scream from my lungs, but it gets caught in my throat as I trip and stumble headfirst toward the floor. I grab the wall and just barely manage to stay upright. I can hardly breathe from the pressure of the crowd. That man who shoved me is still right beside me, his body flush against mine. The crowd seems to move as one, like we’ve become a single unit, a fat snake winding through the hall.
I scream and try to push away from the wall, inching further down the corridor. Someone steps on my foot, then I get kicked in the shins. Hard. I grunt and dig my nails into the wooden doors I pass, shuffling sideways, heaving and shoving my way forward. I cannot stop moving. If I stay still, I will be crushed. If I am crushed, I will never see Adrian again. I’ll never see Julius again. And I’ll never be reunited with my father.
God didn’t bring me this far to die here. Like this.
I take a breath and exhale a scream, pushing back against the bodies that crush me. There’s a woman pressed against me now, she has a bag strapped to her back; I grab it and yank hard, using the leverage to pull myself forward. Her head tips back and she cries out, but I don’t care. I’m getting dragged away by the people behind me, and it only gets worse when gunshots fire down the hall.
Chaos strikes like lightning, a wicked bolt of fear and raw panic shoots through the crowd and sets the mass ablaze. People begin to climb over each other, shoving and clawing their way toward the stairs. More shots go off behind us and the crowd moves like a current. I’m swept away in the rolling waves of bodies, my feet moving against my will. I crane my neck to get a sense of where I’m going, to try to map out the dim hallway, but I can hardly see around the frightened faces that surround me.
Suddenly, there’s a break in the crowd, pressure is released as people move away from me. They’ve found the staircase. I can hear howls of relief showering down from the top of the stairwell and I cry tears of joy. The door has been opened; we can leave. We can escape the gunfire that sounds so close now.
I move on shaky legs, following the crowd as it empties into the next corridor. At the top of the stairs are members of the church’s strike team, dressed in cargo pants and holding meager weapons. Some of them have guns but most are armed with knives and even metal poles. It won’t be enough to fight the soldiers who are moving through the crowd, but we won’t have to fight if we can get away and shut the door behind us.
When I reach the top of the stairs, I feel tears burn my eyes. I nearly died in that crowd, so I’m almost overwhelmed when I grasp the helpful hand of a Strike Team member. “Thank you,” I blubber, and the kind man inclines his head.
“Mya?” he says, and I blink away my tears to realize it’s not a man at all. It’s a small woman. The one who was with Julius.
“Raven,” I whisper.
She pulls me into a hug. It’s awkward and shocks me so badly that I take a step back and my knees buckle. She’s stronger than she looks, pulling me away from the crowd so we aren’t blocking the staircase.
“How’d you get down there?” she asks.
“I was visiting Julius.”
She stiffens at his name, pressing her lips together before she speaks. “He left to guard the northern exit. I’ve been assigned here.”
“You’re helping the church?”
“Of course. We need to stick together if we want to survive.”
I’m still used to living outside where it’s every man for himself.
“Is Julius safe?” I ask.
Raven nods. “He went with Major Banks. I’m here with Claudius.”
I have no idea who those people are, but I nod anyway.
“Mya, if you can walk, you need to follow the crowd to the surface. There’s an evacuation route you can follow. Do you remember it?”
I shake my head. I do remember the evacuation route; the shelter had a meeting in the church yesterday where we went over emergency protocols again. They even passed out maps with all the exits highlighted. I remember where I’m supposed to go from here, but I don’t want to leave. I’m not ready yet.
“I won’t go without Adrian.”
The declaration makes Mya pause. She has a pretty face with gentle features, her brows naturally arched, her forehead smooth and creamy brown. All of her features seem to harden as she tries to make sense of what I’ve just said.
“Mya, the shelter is in chaos. You need to evacuate while you can.”
“Not without Adrian.”
“You heard the gunfire—”
“Would you leave without Julius?” I snap.
I know it’s a low blow for me to use her emotions against her like this, but I need Raven to understand what Adrian means to me. I’m not a fool, I can see how much she cares for my best friend. I can see how much she loves him. It’s written all over her face and it’s in her eyes each time she looks at him. The only thing I’m unsure about is whether she knows how much she loves him. And if he loves her back.
