Rogan's Monsters 2: Below, page 16
When she was done, she licked the juice from her fingers, and seemed to be disappointed there was no more. She even looked over to Ash, but the big woman had demolished her portion with the same efficiency with which she did everything else, and had none to share. Disappointed, Gamma’s expression became that of a petulant child who didn’t get her wish, but at least she didn’t say anything.
At least, not at first.
We were mostly quiet. Camille and Zera were speaking softly to each other, casting the occasional glance my way, but they were too far away for me to hear what they said. Ash was her usual silent self, although she had yet to pick a spot to stand sentry, and instead sat with the rest of us.
For a long time, Gamma simply stared into nothing, expression faintly dejected as Edda played with a small pebble. But then, out of nowhere, as if she was in the middle of a conversation rather than the start, she spoke.
“I’m doing my best, you know,” she said.
Everyone turned their attention her way. Even Camille and Zera broke off their conversation to stare curiously at the difficult woman.
Gamma didn’t look at anyone in particular. “I only have the information they gave me. I didn’t know it would be as difficult as this.”
I had no idea what had motivated Gamma to say what she did. Neither did the others, but Camille was first to respond. “We know it’s not your fault,” she said. “Nobody blames you.”
The beautiful but difficult woman, bane of my current existence, turned toward the lizard woman. “You don’t?” she said, her voice filled with sudden hope.
“Of course not. How could we?”
To my immense surprise, that was all it took for Gamma to burst into tears, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. I had thought she was done with all that when we had lost the wagons. But apparently, she had just kept it all bottled inside, to be let out at a later time.
Which this apparently was.
Camille shot me an uncertain glance, but it didn’t stop her from shuffling over to Gamma and taking her into her arms.
Gamma leaned into the lizard woman and continued to sob.
“There, there. What’s brought all this on, all of a sudden?” Camille asked.
“I don’t know,” Lady Gamma responded. She gestured vaguely. “All this, I guess.” She sniffed. “All these battles. I d-didn’t know it was going to be like this”—sniff—“I thought it would be easier, that it w-wouldn’t be so dangerous.”
Then she admitted something that I thought I would never hear from her.
“I’ve never been so scared in my life.”
By then, Zera had also moved to Lady Gamma to offer support. But Ash had not, and neither had I. My feelings toward the woman were too complex, and I knew if she wanted me to, she could compel it without any issues.
At the same time, I was as puzzled by Gamma’s sudden change in behavior as Camille. Gamma continued to sob, occasionally punctuating her sobs with words of despair.
“I’m not cut out for this. Never have been. It shouldn’t have even been me. But I was the only one who could do it.”
I didn’t know what to do, if I should say something to comfort her as well, but knew that Camille, Ecco, and Zera were both far better at that than I was.
“As it’s not your fault,” Zera said, as if to prove my point. “You have done the best that you can. You may have lost your wagons, and many of those who started this journey with you. We are stuck in this cavern, bound to seek out this seed and destroy it before we can leave. None of that was your doing, or part of your plan. But we are still alive. We’re still here, in large part because of you. You sealed the cave against the waste walkers. Healed us when we needed it. Even the fire with which we cook our meals is your doing.”
Lady Gamma turned to the butterfly girl. “You really think so?” she asked, her haughtiness not even a little on display.
“I know so,” she said. “None of us would still be here if it wasn’t for you. Not even Rogan. Sure, he can shoot chi power from his fingers, but could he have brought us all this way?”
Lady Gamma didn’t answer the question. “Rogan, Rogan, my beautiful Rogan,” she said. Then, as if realizing what she said, she shot me an embarrassed look and turned pink.
At the same time, Zera turned to me with a grin and said a single word.
“Fermented.”
Suddenly, I understood Gamma’s change of personality. I had to smile. The mango-fruit thing she had eaten. It was like she was drunk, only more so.
Far more than I would have expected from eating half a fermented fruit.
So perhaps it was more than just alcohol in Gamma’s system. At the same time, it seemed that Ash was completely unfazed. She sat there, impassive as usual, apparently unaffected. And yet…
I couldn’t help myself. I reached out and touched the muscular woman on the shoulder. Just a light tap, a gentle nudge to gain her attention. But instead of turning my way and asking what I wanted, the big woman toppled backwards onto the cave floor, and began to snore.
41
It was enough to break Gamma out of her funk. She blinked at her protector in surprise, and did the one thing that convinced me more than anything else that she was a long way from sober.
Instead of chastising Ash for not standing guard, Lady Gamma burst out laughing.
“Did you see that?” she managed between laughs. “She fell over! I haven’t seen that for years. Not since that time she got drunk on elderberry wine.”
And just like that, the whole mood of the party changed. Camille and Ecco were more than happy to go with it, and I was just happy that the princess was no longer sobbing.
At the same time, I figured I was in for a long night. With Ash out of action, it was up to me to keep watch, but I was happy to do it. The girls continued to talk, but not of anything in particular, flitting from topic to topic in the same way that Zera’s butterfly friends flitted from flower to flower.
I largely tuned the girls out and sat in silence, lost in my own thoughts. I was aware that every now and again, one or other of the girls looked my way, but I figured if they wanted me to participate more, they would say so. For my part, I found myself thinking again of this quest. This search for a temple that could provide answers. Ever since I had awakened in the Wastes, I had been driven by a series of words seared into my mind.
“You can save them. You can save all of them.”
Since then, I had literally saved Gamma’s life more times than I could count, as well as Ash’s and Zera’s. Camille could have taken off at any time. She was a survivor. So I couldn’t really claim to have saved her as well, although maybe I could, given that she’d joined the party.
But I didn’t think that’s what the words meant. Nor did I know enough of this world to understand who else might need to be saved. Sure, I could learn. I was starting to understand bits of this world just by talking to the others. But perhaps, if and when we did find the temple, perhaps I would be able to find that answer as well.
I found myself wondering what had become of all those I had known. The redheaded woman I took to my bed on my last night. My friends. My family. All the hundreds of people I had met and known during the course of my life.
Of course, I knew exactly what had happened to all of them. They were long gone. Turned into dust by now, relegated to history and legend.
I knew in my heart and soul that I would never see any of them again, and was saddened at the thought.
Worse, it had been a tumultuous time. The people I had known and loved would have lived their last days in fear for their lives.
Best not to think about it, I decided, and tried to push the thoughts away. Instead, I distracted myself by watching Edda’s clumsy antics. For some reason, Gamma’s monkey acted as drunk as she did, and I wondered why a fermented fruit that had knocked Ash out had done little more than make Gamma giddy.
And made her much more relaxed and sociable than she usually was.
I decided I liked Gamma much better this way.
The evening seemed to be winding down, and first Zera, and then Camille made their way to the sleeping nook. Before she climbed into the nook, Camille asked Gamma if she wanted a hand climbing up, but the princess shook her head. And then it was just the two of us, Lady Gamma and me, with Ash still snoring on her back, and Edda sitting cross-legged on the floor, uttering the occasional hiccup.
Gamma looked at me through bleary eyes. I thought she was about to collapse. But instead, she shuffled in a very undignified way across the chamber floor until she was beside me.
“You know,” she slurred, the effects of the fermented fruit still very apparent. “You are a very beautiful man.”
I smiled. In truth, I had no idea what I looked like in this new body. I knew I was taller, leaner, and far fitter than I had been in my regular life, with hard slabs of muscle where before I’d had none. But I didn’t know if I had blue eyes or brown, if my face was covered in scars, or if my ears stuck out like a wingnut. All I knew for certain was that my hair was dark, and that was because it was long enough to see when not tied at the back.
Perhaps one day, I would find a mirror or something shiny and take a look. But even though I carried blades made of metal, I had hadn’t yet thought to do it.
“Thank you,” I said. Then, grudgingly, I admitted a key truth. “You are very beautiful yourself.”
To my surprise, Lady Gamma blushed like a schoolgirl. Then she recovered herself, reached out, and gently touched my face.
“I’m not jealous,” she blurted, almost at random. Then she looked away. “Or maybe I am. I don’t know. Sometimes…” But she didn’t finish.
I didn’t know quite what to say, but I was very aware that Gamma was drunk. Perhaps it was to distract her, or maybe myself, but I found myself asking a question that had bothered me for some time. Something of little consequence, or so I thought. Something far removed from all the different elephants in the room, including the binding and Gamma’s current actions.
“How is it,” I began, “that Edda could breathe fire when you did?”
Lady Gamma tilted her head in much the same way that Ecco did, and quirked a small grin. “What do you mean?”
“Your pet. She seems to reflect your mood more often than not. Even now, she is acting as if she ate the fermented fruit, but I didn’t see you slip her any of it. I would like to know why.”
Gamma’s grin took on a teasing aspect. She reached out and touched the tip of my nose. I raised an eyebrow. It was amusing to watch her this way, even if I knew it wouldn’t last.
“That’s my secret,” she said. Then, almost at once, she burst out laughing. “If a secret is what it is. Which it isn’t. Edda is me. And I am Edda. We are one in the same.”
At first, I didn’t understand. Then I did something I should possibly have done way back at the start. I sent a whisper of power into my AC lens and focused on Lady Gamma, and then Edda.
Both of them showed exactly the same stats.
Class: Human hybrid/mutation
Dominant DNA: Human (85%)
Additional DNA: Spider Monkey, Wraith, + assorted others (15%)
Height: Variable
Weight: Variable
Age: 23 (approx.)
Gender: Female
Mutations: Chi power (chi infusion). Chi Twins (two physical aspects of the same being)
The results were confusing. I hadn’t looked at Gamma through my lens before, in part because I had thought of her as the most fully human person of the entire party. She had none of the hallmarks of a hybrid creature. No wings, no tail, no scales. And I had simply assumed.
But, as it turned out, she was perhaps less human than any of the others. She was more than one thing, a dual creature, both Edda and Gamma at the same time.
“You are connected,” I said. “Through chi.”
Gamma nodded. “That’s my secret,” she said. “Edda is my familiar. She is where I store my chi.”
Then she wiggled her finger in front of me and tut-tutted as she shook her head. “And you thought she was no more than a pet. An annoyance. I have not forgotten that you threatened her once.”
Despite Gamma’s words, there was no rancor in her voice. Instead, it was like she found the whole thing amusing.
Still grinning, she shuffled even closer and rested her head on my shoulder. But the way she did it wasn’t companionable. Somehow, there was a suggestion that went beyond simply using me as support.
And then she backed that suggestion up with words.
“Your body is so strong,” she murmured. “I’ve heard them talking. The others. Camille and Zera. They say you are gentle as well.”
Then, more quietly, as if even in her drunken state she didn’t want to admit it out loud, she said, “I would like to see for myself.”
42
Oh shit.
For a long time, I didn’t answer. I thought perhaps if I stayed silent, she would let the matter drop, and we could move on. But after a few moments, she sat up and turned toward me instead.
“Did you not hear what I said?” she asked, her tone a mixture of fearfulness and challenge.
“I heard you,” I admitted.
“Well?” she demanded, a whisper of her usual demanding self.
And at the same time, I felt her compulsion rear its head a little.
Slowly, firmly, I shook my head. “Lady Gamma, you are beautiful. But that fruit you ate. You are, for lack of a better word, intoxicated. It would be wrong of me to take advantage of you.”
Gamma stared at me. She seemed to be trying to make sense of my words, at first puzzled, and then a little angry.
“I could make you,” she threatened, her brow furrowing into a frown.
I had to smile. “You could. And that’s part of the problem, too. Do you really want to do that? Force me against my will?” Again, I shook my head. “Lady Gamma, I do not think you do.”
For a moment, I felt the compulsion increase, and knew she was thinking about making me kiss her… and more.
And goddammit, I wanted to. I had seldom met anyone quite like her. She was a bundle of different components, many of which I hated, but some of which I couldn’t help but admire. In a very real way, she had become a large part of my world, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was as attracted to her as I was to Camille, Zera, and Ash.
Perhaps even more.
I resisted the urge and the compulsion, and eventually, both faded away. Even drunk on the mango-fruit as she was, there was honor within Lady Gamma. An integrity that drove her even when she was scared she was out of her depth.
“One day,” she sighed.
To my surprise, Gamma moved back to my side, and once again rested against me.
I stayed where I was, doing nothing to encourage her but not chasing her way, and I sensed she might be starting to drift off.
“Lady Gamma, would you like me to help you to the nook with the others?”
“No. Not yet, anyway. I would like to stay here for a while. If that’s okay with you,” she said.
“It is,” I admitted, and found myself enjoying the moment, and her company, more than I would have expected.
Some minutes later, in a voice that sounded full of sleep, Gamma spoke again. “Perhaps I should release you from your binding,” she said. “To remove the temptation of using the compulsion.”
I wasn’t sure if she was awake enough to understand what she had said, but nevertheless, I had frozen in hope.
“You can do that?” I asked.
“I can,” she murmured. “At least, I think I can.”
“Then I would very much appreciate it if you did.”
I held my breath, waiting for her response, but there was nothing.
Gamma was finally asleep, resting against me. And I had no idea if she would even remember this conversation when she woke.
It was undeniably pleasant to have her leaning against me as she slept. In this drunken, comatose state, there was none of her haughtiness, none of the difficulty caused by the binding. She was just a beautiful woman, still young and largely untested, just leaning against me for mutual comfort.
With my back against the wall, her presence didn’t hinder my ability to watch for potential threats. At the same time, her state of relaxation was enough to take the edge off my vigilance, and that was something that could prove fatal.
So, after an hour or so, I gently disengaged her and laid her down on the ground. She made a few sleepy noises but didn’t really wake, and I watched over her for a few moments, lost in my own thoughts.
Then I shook myself and stood, stretching those aching muscles as best as I could, and spent the rest of the night standing watch.
I could have woken Ash at any time and asked her to take over. But she had eaten her share of the fermented fruit. I wasn’t sure that waking her would be a good move. For all I knew, she may have still been impacted by whatever had resulted in Gamma’s epic drunkenness, or at the very least, been hung over as a result.
And, anyway, the chi coursing through my system was more than enough to keep me awake for days at a time should I need it to. So I spent the night awake, all by myself, watching over the sleeping women and staying vigilant for any threat.
And to my great surprise, Gamma clambered her way back to consciousness before anyone else.
She looked decidedly rough around the edges as she sat up and looked vaguely about.
When her gaze focused on me, however, she frowned as if trying to recall something important. On any normal morning, I would have kept my distance from her, putting as much space between me and the compulsion as I could, and letting her interact with the others. But this morning, I was the only one aside from her who was awake. Not counting Edda, who was stretching and yawning like a champion on the cave floor.
And I was feeling generous. Intoxicated Gamma, in my view, was much more pleasant than the haughty version. So I offered her a smile.
“Good morning,” I said, quietly enough to avoid disturbing the others. “How are you feeling?”
