"Mike." I said, extending my hand. He grabbed my hand and gave me a firm handshake. I didn't really know what else to say. I didn't want to just walk away when the guy clearly expected me to have a conversation with him. "So, did your girlfriend drag you to this party?"

  "Yeah, and she's spending the whole time catching up with her friends so I get to play waiter tonight." He said with a visible sigh.

  "What's this punch spiked with anyway?" I asked, trying to keep up with the conversation, but I also was trying to steer the small talk to an ending so that I could leave and go play some DS by myself.

  "I think its Vodka." He answered. I don't even know how his answer helped. I wasn't much of a drinker, so it's not like I'm using the information in a positive way. But it did give me the green light to get out of the conversation. I poured some of the "spiked" punch into a cup. Then I decided to make a second drink, figuring I would be playing games for a while.

  "Getting a drink for your girlfriend too?" He wondered.

  "No, this is all for me." I said. I immediately regretted my words when I realized that in context it made me look like a drunk. I was about to explain to him what I meant but then I figured it would probably make me look even more foolish. Besides, that line gave me the opportunity to exit the conversation.

  I found a table where I could put all my stuff down and get out my DS. I was still kicking myself for once again saying something stupid in a conversation. I was 0 for 2 tonight.

  The game I decided to kill time with was called Advance Wars 3. It was a strategy game where tanks, soldiers, airplanes and ships battled in turn based fashion. Soldiers were used to capture bases. More bases meant more money, which meant you could build better units and that made your job of capturing enemy headquarters easier.

  It was a nice game to play. There were far better games for the PC, but this game you could bring with you wherever you wanted because it was a portable system. So when I had a few hours to kill, this was usually a good choice.

  And boy, did I kill some time. Every so often I would be interrupted by someone on the stage announcing something. They gave out a few "awards" for different things. There was one for the most interesting occupation, another for the person who drove the furthest. Of course there were others, but I didn't really pay much attention to who won or what for.

  I looked at my cell phone to check the time. I had about three hours to kill before Reynolds' speech would probably be over. This was taking forever, so I decided to grab another plate of snacks and some more "spiked punch".

  The first drinks had made me a little tipsy. I didn't want to get completely bombed and do something stupid, but it wouldn't hurt to relax myself so that the anxiety of being around so many people wouldn't get to me.

  I had finally gotten tired of Advance Wars so I switched to another game so that I could kill some more time before it was time to go. Suddenly, a chair moved on the other side of the table. I looked up and a woman sat down at my table.

  "You don't mind, do you?" she asked after having already sat down.

  "No, I don't." I said automatically before going back to playing my game. I took a quick look around me and there were a good number of tables empty. She could've sat at any one of those, but instead chose the one I was already at. Apparently she wasn't aware of the unspoken rule that you are supposed to spread out when there are other spots available.

  "You friends abandon you too?" She wondered out loud. A good guess, but she wasn't even close. I guess I couldn't fault her for not immediately coming to the conclusion that I was a consultant for HPD and I was going behind their back to check up on a suspect.

  "Yeah, I was supposed to meet a few friends of mine here. But I guess they had better things to do today. So, I guess that means I'll be bored all day." She continued, irritation lacing her words. I didn't really know what to say. I couldn't just ignore her and go on playing my game. That would be rude. I had to say something.

  "You don't need your friends to have fun." I said, trying to comfort her. I don't even know what I meant by those words, but it sounded like something nice to say.

  "You are right. I don't need them to have fun. When there are plenty of interesting people here to talk to." She said cheerfully. Was she talking about me? Did she think I was interesting to talk to? But didn't she see that I was in the middle of a game right now? At that moment I realized that I hadn't bothered to make a move ever since she had sat down. My game had just been on pause this whole time.

  "So, what do you do for a living?" She asked. I took a sip of my drink so that I could think about what I wanted to say. I probably shouldn't admit that I was working with the police. That might result in the conversation taking a turn I didn't want to.

  "I'm a game designer." I responded. It was sort of a half-truth, because that was my occupation only about a month or so ago. I didn't want to completely lie and make up something like doctor that I wouldn't be able to talk about in detail.

  "Oh, really? I don't think I've ever met someone that made games for a living." She said a bit of enthusiasm. Then pointing to my video game added "I guess that must mean I interrupted you in the middle of your research?"

  "Yeah, I guess you could say that." I said with a nervous laugh as I took another drink. "What about you?"

  "What about me?" She wondered.

  "What do you do for a living?" I asked. I figured she would want me to ask her the same question she asked me. That's how conversations were supposed to work, I think.

  "I work for the Chronicle. I'm a reporter." She answered. The Chronicle was a Houston's leading newspaper. I guess that explained how she could just sit down and start a conversation with me so easily. Just when I was about to launch my next question, some woman on stage caught everyone's attention.

  "We've got some sad news for your guys." The person on stage said solemnly, and her tone caused the crowd to grow quiet.

  "We lost someone recently, someone a few of you might remember." She continued. Lost someone? Someone died? Then all of the pieces clicked together and I quietly groaned. Not this, not now.

  "Jessica Monroe was a fellow classmate, and went on to be a police officer after high school. A few weeks ago her life tragically ended in the line of duty." She paused, and for a moment there wasn't a sound made in the room, "Let us take this time to remember how she lived."

  The lights started to dim as a projector shot a series of images of Jessica onto the screen in the back. It started with a group of pictures in high school. She played soccer and participated in choir, so a lot of the pictures where from those groups. I, on the other hand, wasn't involved in any of that back then. My face was no where to be found.

  But this was a good thing. If the woman on the other side of the table saw that I was in a lot of these pictures, I would get that look of pity. I didn't need her pity, nor did I want it. I didn't even want to watch this presentation. If it weren't for the fact that it would raise questions from her, I would've just left the room and ended the problem there.

  So instead of looking at the slideshow, I focused on everyone else in the room watching the video. A few people were staring at their drinks or at the floor, but the majority were watching the slideshow. They all had that same fake somber look in their eyes.

  I hated that look. People like to feel a little sad and vulnerable sometimes. That's what they are doing when they watch a slideshow like this. Maybe they convince themselves that they are honoring the memory of the person that had recently passed. Maybe they remind themselves of all the good things they have to be thankful for. Then at the end of the day they forget who the person even was.

  But for some people, that look is real. The photos are more than just colors blended together to form the figure of someone that they barely knew. And these people react to the images differently than normal people. As each slide ticks, another memory is unlocked, reminding them once again how alone they truly are.

  For the ten minutes that the presentation spanned, it was all I could think about. Sure, I remembered all the good times. But it would always come back to that last night I saw her alive in the warehouse. She pointed her gun at me ready to shoot, but was taken out before she could pull the trigger as I stood there helpless to stop any of it.

  There was nothing you could've done to stop her, stop dwelling on it.

  Maybe not that moment, but I had let other moments pass without doing a thing. I could have done things different. Maybe if I hadn't gone to college in Chicago or if I had gotten a job in Houston after graduating, things would be different. But I was gone for nearly fifteen years, and when I finally came back it was only because of that stupid presentation. I could've done things differently, if only I could go back. I would…

  What would you do?

  I wouldn't have changed a thing, I realized. I covered my eyes with my hands to hide the tears that were beginning to develop. It was nice to talk a big game, but if I were to go back, even knowing what I know now, would I be brave enough to change things so that it wouldn't end the way it did? Probably not, and I hated myself for thinking that, but it was true. I might be in my mid thirties, but deep down I'm still that scared kid terrified that something bad will happen to him.

  If I had done things differently, maybe she would still be alive today, but that would've set me up for an even bigger fall if something bad had happened between us later on in life. I left for Chicago for a reason.

  You were ready to tell Jessica you loved her.

  Well, having a gun shoved in my face that night reminded me of a few things. I was reminded that no matter how safe you think you are, no matter how good things are going between you and another person thing can always turn bad quickly. I've learned that lesson twice already and I don't plan on learning it a third time. I took a few deep breaths to try and regain my composure. I tried to get my mind off of the past and focus on the task at hand.

  "Is that… is that you?" said the woman on the other side of the table. I looked up and she was pointing at the presentation, and when I followed her finger. It was a picture of Jessica and I twenty years ago taken at Astroworld. I looked a little different, but it wouldn't be too hard to guess that that was me. I could see the logic beginning to form in her mind, making connections with this new information.

  "You two were really close weren't you? Was it her you were supposed to meet here?" She was right about the first part at least. I let her draw her own conclusions. Even if I wanted to talk, I didn't think I could, at least not in a normal sounding voice.

  The presentation ended, and the lights went back to normal. They brightened a little on the sides with the tables and games and the dance floor lights turned back on. People started to flock back to the dance floor as new music began to play. I recognized this song too. A popular dance hit from the mid-90s, called "This is the Night".

  I glanced across the table, and I was getting that look of pity. There was nothing I could do. I could deny it, but I don't even think I would believe myself. Should I just get up and leave? I finished the rest of my second drink. Before I could think of anything, she spoke again.

  "I have an idea." She started to say, her expression changing into a smile, "We should go dance. I'm alone, you're alone, and we both need cheering up."

  "I don't--" I started to say.

  "—And I won't take no for an answer" She interrupted, grabbing me by my hand and leading me towards the dance floor. There was nothing I could do about it. As much as dreaded dancing, I didn't want to create a scene in the middle of the room by telling her I didn't want to go. Instead, I pulled out a stick of gum to chew on. I only had three sticks left, but I figured I could make them last the rest of the night.

  "By the way, I'm Kari." She introduced herself finally. I had realized that it had been about a half an hour and I hadn't even known her name.

  "I'm Mike."

  We found an empty spot on the dance floor. The colored lights flashed in somewhat of a pattern, and this area was a little darker than the lit up tables on the sides. I suppose florescent lighting would kill the mood on a dance floor. There was about five seconds of awkward silence before I finally thought of something to say.

  "I don't exactly know h-how to dance." I admitted nervously. In the back of my mind I hoped that would make her change her mind and decide to do something else other than dancing. But I also knew that considering we were already here, it was wishful thinking at best.

  "Don't worry, it's a lot easier than you think. We'll do something simple." she said, as if that was supposed to comfort me, "First just bob your head to music."

  She used herself as an example, and started to bob her head to the music. I reluctantly did the same, even though I felt really stupid doing it.

  "Ok, now try to sway your body around at the same time. Look at what I'm doing." she started to rock back and forth using her legs to move around. I tried to as well and after awhile I was able to do the same.

  "See, you are getting it. This is easy isn't it? Finally, don't let your arms just flop around. You can wave them back and forth or… just do whatever feels natural" she instructed. I don't know what was supposed to feel natural, but I held my hands up and started waving them around. This didn't really feel like what dancing was supposed to be. But I suppose I was a beginner.

  "Don't worry about looking stupid." She read my mind, "Dancing isn't about having nice moves and looking cool, it's about enjoying the music."

  I continued to do the same moves for most of the song, slightly changing things depending on what part of the song was playing. I don't know if it was the drinks or if it was what she said, or maybe the gum had finally started to have its effect. But I started to relax a bit. It helped that I was concentrating on what I was doing and trying to stay with the beat and not run into anyone else.

  Then the current song ended and the next one came on: "It's a Beautiful Life" by Ace of Base. It seemed like they had the Night of the Roxbury soundtrack playing, because these two songs were on it. I knew this because back in the day I used to listen to that CD in my car on the way to work every day.

  I didn't use the same movements for this song, and the beat was slightly different so I had to adjust for that as well. I guess now that I had gotten over the newness of dancing, it wasn't a big deal anymore. I already enjoyed listening to music, especially this type. So adding a few dance moves wasn't that different from what I would normally do.

  But then that song ended and a much slower song came on. I looked around and everyone had stopped dancing and some had begun to pair off and dance to the new song, while others left the dance floor. I glanced at Kari to see if she wanted to take a break from dancing also. It was one thing to dance to a song that I've listened to in my car for hours on end, but this was different.

  "I take it you don't know how to slow dance either?" Kari asked. Great, so she wanted to stay. I didn't have the heart to just run off or lie and say that I needed to go. And I couldn't think of any other way to get out of this.

  "W-we could go sit down for this one, I wouldn't want to sl-slow you down." I tried to come up with an excuse to leave. In hindsight it was pretty bad though. Wouldn't want to slow you down? What does that even mean?

  "Ah, don't worry about me. You know firsthand that I'm a good teacher with these sorts of things." She reassured me. I don't think she got the hint that I really didn't want to do this.

  "Ok, first put your right hand around my back like this." She grabbed my arm and placed it around her side, "Then hold my right hand in yours like this. And then it's just a few easy steps like this, back and forth from your right to left foot."

  She directed my feet where they were supposed to go for a few seconds, back and forth like she said and in rhythm with the song. Then she wanted me to try. I was always pretty good at following instructions, and my memory was good. So I was able to repeat her performance with respectable accuracy.

  "You are allowed to look at me, you know." She teased. I had been looking at the wall almost the whole time we had been dancing.

  "I'm a little n-nervous." I stuttered, instead of making eye contact I just looked at her forehead hoping that would be close enough.

  "It's okay. I know most guys don't really like dancing. The fact that you are willing to learn how is pretty cool." She commented.

  "Thanks." I said, beginning to calm down a little.

  After a few turns on the floor, I had gotten the hang of slow dancing, and another song began: "Always" by Bon Jovi. It was a little faster, and so in order to keep with the beat of the song I slowed down a bit and took a step on every fourth beat instead of every second.

  I was still a little tense, but Kari seemed to really enjoy the song as about halfway through she rest her head on my shoulder. I wondered what she was thinking. What had possessed her to sit at my table? She told me that her friend had abandoned her tonight, but was there more to that? When she wanted to dance, she said that we both needed cheering up. So then something must have been bothering her, right?

  She had seemed pretty cheery to me before. Even as she was complaining about her friends not showing up, it was with that same contagious smile she seemed to have on all the time. Of course, if there was one thing I wasn't good at, it was reading people.

  Neither of us really said anything else after that first bit of conversation. I kept moving my feet around, back and forth. Focusing on the movements had eased the tension I was feeling this whole time I had been dancing. It gave me something else to think about while all of this was going on.

  After awhile I wasn't even focusing on the moves anymore. My nerves had calmed drastically. All of my stress and anxiety seemed to melt away. And for the first time in a while, my normally serious expression had turned into a smile. It was just me, Kari and the music and no one else was anywhere near us. And that's when I started to enjoy the song.

 

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