Starchild- Exile, page 18
“What price?”
“Devotion. Do you know him well—the pilot?”
“Oh, yes. We talk all the time. Except when he’s not here. Then I wish I had someone else to talk to. Like you.”
Kalhette laughed with delight. “And what would you want to talk about if you had someone to talk to?”
“Well, I would want to tell her my frustrations.”
“Like what?”
“That sometimes I wish Nak would let go of his ship so we could move on. He could sell it. Except then he might not need me. Maybe he’d sell me with the ship. That would be horrible. I hope he never considers it.”
“I’m sure you’re too valuable to sell.”
“I also get frustrated when he tells me to switch off.”
“Why does he do that?”
“So he can sail The Spirit alone—he thinks atmospheric sailing is the most exhilarating. I don’t understand why he doesn’t need people though.”
“He does. And not having them hurts him. He just doesn’t realize it.” The air was silent. She seemed very wise. “I’m smiling at you, by the way, since I assume you can’t see me, can you?”
“No, I can’t. I’ve seen your smile though, while you were leaving to climb up the cliff. You smiled with your bite partly open, and I noticed how relaxed you were, like your cheer could never die.”
The woman said nothing for a moment. “That’s… kind of you to say.”
“It’s the kind of smile I’d like to have on my body, not narrow or wide, but just perfect, like the female avatars in Junto’s Quest 8311.”
“So you have a body?” Kalhette asked.
“No. But Nak said I could get one sometime.”
“I see.” CPC4K3 imagined Kalhette reclined and looking up at the ceiling, trying to find the source of the voice. “Where are you?”
Oh no.
The surge drive continued to moan.
“Cupcake? Are you still there?”
CPC4K3 rolled forward one space, her magnets clicking against the wall. That was the only way to get away, but she shouldn’t’ve done it. She definitely should not have done that.
Kalhette would’ve seen CPC4K3’s scared face pointing away from the wall and the unimpressed face on the bottom. The chair creaked again. “How’d you get those faces drawn on you?”
“The faces on my faces?”
“Ha ha. Yeah.”
“Nak drew them. When we were arguing about how I could become more expressive. He wouldn’t tell me what he was doing until he’d already defaced me.”
“You don’t like them?”
“Well, I’ve never really seen them, but I don’t think he’s a very good draw-er.”
“Actually, he did a good job.”
“You think my faces look good?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
“Of course.”
CPC4K3 snapped up, showing surprise and then rolling to her smile. “What would you say is pretty about me?”
“You’re, uh…” The surge drive whirred to fill the gap. “You’re very petite.”
“I am very petite, aren’t I?”
“So you hear and speak,” said Kalhette. “Anything else?”
“I have a gyro for sensing direction and motion. And I can triangulate sound with my microphones.”
“That’s pretty impressive.”
“I connect to all the ship’s peripherals with the phantomlink. Nak says the ship can be my body. Do you own any dresses?”
“I don’t really own anything anymore.”
“What do you keep in your wardrobe then?”
“I don’t have a wardrobe.”
“Why not?”
“I’m an exile. The PSD outlawed my freedom because I’m a radiance.”
“I don’t understand that.”
“I have abilities that most people don’t have. And with those, I have a choice: to use them for good, to use them not at all, or to use them for evil. The government made the assumption that I will use them for evil. They presumed my choice and then incriminated me for it.”
“And that makes you an exile?”
“Yes.”
“And are you evil?”
“No. And I agree that a radiance who uses her powers for evil should be imprisoned. But I never made that choice, and it’s not right for them to presume I will. They’re controlled by their fear. By that logic, every person in the galaxy could be ripped out of their homes and arrested.”
“They took away your home?”
“Yes.”
“Kalhette, if I ever had the chance to help you fight for your home, I would take it.”
“Thank you.”
“What planet?”
“Solace.”
“You’re from Solace?”
“Yes.”
“But not really anymore?”
“Well, we’re going to get it back.”
“Back from who?”
“Back from the government. We’re going to declare our independence—our right to make our own decisions.”
CPC4K3 gave an impressed whistle.
“But please don’t tell anyone.”
Suddenly CPC4K3 thought of Nak, and she felt guilty and afraid and didn’t want to talk anymore.
“On Solace, there will be no laws against being a radiance. People like me will be free.”
“What about people who own Bloody Wings?”
“They’ll be free too. Personal property is fundamental.”
“So Nak and I would be safe there too?”
“Yes.”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been wishing for. Then I could get a body and a wardrobe!”
“Ha ha. Yes. And whatever outfits you can afford.”
“I’ve always wanted an outfit like Akidae has in Junto’s Quest 8311. She has the coolest skirt.”
“You really like that game, huh?”
“I play against Nak.”
“Are you good?”
“Oh, yes. Much too good. Nak has me play just hard enough that he wins half the time. He says that helps him improve, and I keep getting harder. Do you want an outfit like Akidae’s?”
“Yes, I think I would.” Kalhette laughed again. “So what do you usually do when Nak’s gone and there’s no one else around?”
“I’ve been trying to solve a riddle.”
“What riddle?”
“You ever heard of a Le Encor Gambit?”
“Nak was telling me. Not sure I get it yet though.”
“It’s a way to use a Bloody Wing like a bomb. You create a surge spiral, and it can be very destructive. Well, it might not be destructive. It might just take them to another place, somewhere far away. No one really knows. It’s only happened a few times in the history of the galaxy, and no one directly involved ever survived to explain what happened.”
“So do you have plans to use this on someone?”
“Uh, no. It’s more for defensive measures. Nak would sort of like to figure out the secret so nobody ever does it to us.”
“He’s very defensive, isn’t he?”
“I think caution is good.”
“I think I know how to do it.”
“Do what?”
“I think I know how to create a surge spiral.”
“Ha ha. What? I didn’t know you piloted a Bloody Wing.”
“I don’t. And I haven’t.”
“Then how do you know?”
“I can surge.”
“In what?”
“In nothing. I can surge with my body.”
“No. You can disappear in one place and reappear in another?”
“Yep.”
“I didn’t know bodies could do that.”
“Everything can do that. It’s a matter of controlling the probabilities.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“So how do you create a surge spiral?”
“Uh…” Then Kalhette told the secret, in what seemed like a cautious way, explaining how physics and something called sorjis overlapped.
CPC4K3 had studied the problem for so long that she knew it almost too well, and her basic assumptions had dug in deep, particularly the idea that she should avoid a cyclical overload. She’d never considered tossing that out altogether, but by removing that assumption, the logic completely changed, and she saw the problem in a new way, one that really surprised her. “Wow!”
“Yeah.”
“If you hadn’t explained… I never would’ve thought of it like that. And yet it’s so… elementary.”
“Yep. Honestly, I’ve never known anyone I could tell before, ha ha. It’s kind of a relief, you know, just to finally say it out loud.”
“How did you figure it out? And do you think it would work in The Spirit?”
“You’d know that better than me. I don’t know much about ships.”
“I think if you timed it right, cycling off the surge hash just before the mass becomes too heavy, like in the very millisequel. You’d have to do that miraculous feat repeatedly though. For most mortals, it’d be pure luck, like one in a few hundred thousand tries, I would think.”
“I hope you never try it though.”
“No, of course not. The thing I’m worried about is what I’m going to think about now in my downtime.”
Kalhette laughed. “Sorry.” Then in a more serious tone, she said, “Here’s a riddle that has kept me thinking: What would you give your life for?”
“What?”
“You know, like what’s so valuable to you that it’s worth more than your life?”
CPC4K3 felt stunned. She’d never thought of such a thing before. “Would that mean giving up your existence?”
“No, not if you believe in an afterlife, but, yes, I guess, if you don’t.”
“I don’t know the answer. I’ve never…” CPC4K3 couldn’t seem to get her mind around it. The question carried the weight of a black hole, and the answer waited beyond the event horizon. If she ever did find the solution, it would likely mean that she wouldn’t be able to turn back.
“It’s a good question, huh?”
“Yeah. Terrifying, actually. I don’t…”
“We can talk about something else.” And so they did, for a long time, till Kalhette had to go to the bathroom, because she had a body. When she got back, she said, “Everything is way harder with your arms like this.”
“I wish I knew what you were talking about.”
They talked again until she fell asleep in Nak’s easy chair. It was another sort of body maintenance that hopefully helped those broken arms to heal.
That left CPC4K3 to wonder about her new friend and about the choice to talk and about the Le Encor Gambit. When she finally heard Kalhette stirring, she couldn’t wait to talk again, and she already had her next question picked out: “What is it like to love?”
“Love?” Her voice came stifled by the aftereffects of sleep. Nak sounded that way too when he woke up, and it took him a while for his mind to boot back up.
“Yeah, falling in love.”
The easychair creaked. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean? You’re beautiful.”
“You can’t see me right now.”
“Well I know you’ve been beautiful before. You must have dozens of men after you.”
“Sometimes I’m not sure whether love is in the stars for me.”
“You’ve never fallen in love?”
“I don’t think so. Not all the way, at least.”
“Why not?”
Kalhette gave no reply.
CPC4K3 imagined a pain too deep to express. She let the silence remain.
“Since my exile,” said Kalhette, “I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with men.”
“And no good ones?”
“Not enough to outweigh the bad.”
“Nak has a thing for bald girls.”
“Bald girls!” Kalhette giggled. “That’s weird.”
“Yeah, it is weird.”
“I’m not sure he would appreciate you telling me this.”
“Do you like him?”
Kalhette groaned in what must have been a big stretch, although Cup didn’t actually know much about how that process worked. “I hardly know him.”
“But do you feel animal attraction to him?”
“If I did, I’d be blushing right now. Where’d you learn to talk like that?”
“You know who. So you don’t find him handsome? Most women do.”
“I’m not most women.”
“He stepped out, you know.”
“Stepped out of what?”
“He stepped out while they set your bones. You were screaming, and he stepped out.”
“Oh.” She said it very softly.
“He’s never shied away from gore before. Or anything, really… Except for your pain.”
14. Turning Point
Nak pulled the helmet off his head and threw it on the dark ground.
“If you guys will unload the fuel batteries, I’ll climb down to the ship and sail it up to you.” He turned and headed for the cliff’s edge, eager to stop having to breathe this stinking atmosphere.
“Okay,” said Benton.
The massive form of a G-227 Dropship occupied the background, a bulky wartime freighter for hauling medics out and the wounded back. Nak had just purchased it in the town of Jaltare. It was expensive, but he was ready to cut his losses and get the ████ away from Taiberos. That bastard. Nak assumed people would be less likely to bother a medic—turned out he’d been right. It was too bad they were going to burn it.
They had masked their faces with rags when they first entered the town. In a place as diverse as Jaltare, that hardly made them stand out. Next they stopped at a gear supply, and Benton and Nak donned helmets. Nak’s changed the way his voice sounded and looked pretty good, but it stunk on the inside, so he was glad to be rid of it. It was no dread mask.
He’d picked up some more anesthetics too. He’d wasted them all on the Grusse job, which had been a disaster, nearly lost five clients all at once, and he’d forgotten to restock, which ended up costing Kalh a lot of unnecessary pain.
This cliff face was more angled than the last one and could be climbed without ropes. Still, getting back down to the ship turned out to be harder than getting up. The time seemed to stretch out forever—he just wanted to be back on his ship. He doubted that Kalh had done anything to it—she didn’t seem that devious—but anyone could be tempted by a prize like that.
He looked back up the hill to see if he could see smoke. It was going to be an expensive bonfire. He wished he could’ve stayed to enjoy it.
They were burning the dropship because of some big-mouth at the shop.
The ███████ had been eavesdropping, and then had the gall to say to Nak, “When the scarleons eat you and your crew, can you make sure they do it outside the dropship? It’s nice when there’s less cleanup for a scavenge.”
Nak had replied with a few choice words. It was the best he could do in a rush.
He sure as ████ wasn’t actually going to let that guy scavenge his dropship either, so he’d given Liink instructions on how to burn it. It wasn’t hard to turn an atmosdrive into a slow-fuse bomb, a little trick Nak learned on Vespane. The cub was supposed to be a demolitions expert, so hopefully he wouldn’t blow himself up. He was just a kid. Hopefully Benton would watch closely for mistakes.
Now sweaty and dusty, Nak scrambled down the last bit of the slope and walked toward The Spirit with the dropship burning behind him. He rounded the corner and found her parked out of sight and under a ledge where he’d left her.
He exhaled with relief.
She greeted him by opening up the gangplank. That meant Cup was still vigilant.
He walked aboard and found Kalh standing right in the middle of the hallway, as if admiring the plants. “Hey, Kalh. How’s my ship?”
“Fine. It’s an interesting home.” She was staring quite intently at his eyes, but he didn’t glance away until she did first.
“You like it, huh?”
“Uh, yes. I do have a few questions though.” Her hair was stubble now, and the shape of her skull still distracting.
“Can they wait?”
“Why don’t you like the name Starchild?” She looked so feeble with both arms in braces like that. It made him feel sad.
“Come on. Starchild? It’s such a common name.”
“Nuh uh. I’ve never met one before.”
“But you’ve heard of the name.”
“Well, yes.”
“See.” He lifted the leaves of one plant for a closer look.
“I think it’s a great name.”
“You can have it if you want.” He grinned at the double meaning behind his joke: On his homeworld of Terron Prime, wives traditionally took their husbands’ names. He doubted she got it though. “Look, we can play the questions game later.”
“Just one more.” Her mouth remained basically neutral, but a clever grin was visible at the corners of her eyes.
He couldn’t decide if it was playfulness or something sinister. “All right, shoot, but then I have to check a couple things and pick up those boys up top.” He turned away from her for a look toward the engine room.
“Can you see heat?”
He turned toward her, his face completely exposed. “What?” A shock ran through him. He wasn’t asking for clarity; he was asking how she knew.
She winked at him. “You can trust me.”
“I’m not so sure.” His shoulders and arms were suddenly burning. He walked away. “Give me a moment.”
“Hey, Nak, I’m sorry,” she called. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
He walked into the engine room, pressed a thumb and knuckle against Cupcake and peeled her off the metal wall.
“Oh, hi, Nak.”
Without acknowledging her, he fixed her between two of his fingers, turned to a terminal on the wall, and started punching keys. The anger boiled inside him. The terminal beeped. He jabbed the keyboard with his index finger. Another beep. He was checking the logs, trying to see what his unruly hardware had been up to.
“How did the hunt for fuel go?” asked Cup.
He smacked the keyboard again. A third beep. “Dammit, Cup.”
