Forbidden Arrangement, page 14
“Not really.”
She pressed her hand against my chest.
“I was kind of hoping to get into something fun tonight, though.”
“Oh yeah? What sort of fun were you hoping to get into?”
“I was hoping that you and I could find a quiet place here, and well, you know.”
“No. Why don’t you tell me?”
“You know, have some fun.”
“And by fun, you mean …?”
“By fun, I mean I’m on the pill, and I’ve got condoms.”
She pressed her lips against my cheek and then kissed all the way to my ear.
“And if you’re lucky, I’ll even let you do me up the ass,” she whispered in my ear and then stepped back.
I stared at her for a couple of seconds, not even knowing how to respond to that. I couldn’t believe I’d been attracted to her. I couldn’t believe I’d been interested in these meaningless conversations for so long. After having met someone like Valentina and just enjoying being around her, it was so hard to be with these artificial flirts who wanted nothing more than sex. Valentina and I had a real connection. Valentina.
“So, big boy …” Ginger’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that I came to watch a fight, but who knows what will happen later,” I said, smiling at her.
I had to get Valentina out of my mind. She obviously wasn’t wasting her time thinking about me.
“You want to come and sit with me? My brother Santina isn’t coming so we have a spare seat in our section.”
“Oh yeah. I would love to.”
She held my bicep, and we walked over to the seats and sat down. Sergio walked over with two beers, looked at Ginger, and nodded.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi, hottie.” She smiled at him. “I’m Ginger.”
“Nice to meet you. Would you like a beer?”
“I won’t say no.”
She took one of the beers he handed her, and then he chugged from the other one.
“Hey, what about me?” I asked him, frowning.
“Why don’t you go get your own?”
He sat down next to Ginger, and I just shook my head.
“I’ll be right back,” I said.
I walked down from the seats and headed toward the bar. I saw Stefano punching the wall and walked over to him.
“Dude, what’s wrong?”
“I’m just so fucking pissed off right now,” he said.
“What happened?”
“It’s Elise. She doesn’t seem to understand that Bradley is only dating her because he’s trying to get to me. He’s not interested in her. He—”
“Bro, calm down. How do you know he’s not interested in her? Did he tell you that?”
He pressed his lips together. “He’s trying to get to me. I know that’s what he’s doing.”
“Stefano, you can’t let this shit affect you. Elise is going to date.”
“Why would she want to date a fighter? She doesn’t even like me fighting.” He rolled his eyes. “This is absolutely ridiculous.”
“It’s okay, bro. Remember why you’re here. Elise is cheering you on. She’s not cheering on Bradley.”
Stefano just looked at me.
“I’m just pissed off.”
“I understand.”
I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, and I pulled it out. It was Valentina. Stefano looked at the screen, and his eyes widened.
“Oh, so it’s not over completely yet?”
“Shut up,” I said.
I pressed end, sent her to voicemail, and put the phone back in my pocket.
“You’re not going to talk to her?”
“No. Why should I?”
“Well, don’t you have a job to complete?”
I stared at him for a few seconds, sighed, grabbed my phone again, and called her back.
“Hey Sam, I’ve been trying to reach you for the last—”
“What do you want, Valentina?”
“I was trying to call you because I was hoping we could—”
“I’m at Stefano's match right now, and it’s really important, so I don’t really have much time to talk.”
“Can I come and see?”
“I mean, if you want to.”
“If you don’t want me to …”
“It’s just not a good time right now, Valentina.”
“Is this because of the other night when I was supposed to come after my dinner with my dad? You know my dad cooked this amazing meal for us and—”
“Yeah, sure. Okay.”
“Are you mad at me, Sam, because I didn’t see you that night? I already told you that—”
Valentina, I’m sorry. I can’t talk right now. I’ll speak to you later.”
“Okay,” she said. “Call me when it’s done. Let me know how it goes.”
“Yeah, sure.”
I hung up and then looked at Stefano. He raised an eyebrow.
“And I thought I was pissed off.”
He shook his head. “What’s that about?”
“You know what it’s about. She’s a fucking liar.”
“Yeah, but she’s a case. Isn’t she? You said you didn’t have feelings for her so …
“Shut the fuck up, Stefano.”
He looked at me for a couple of seconds, and I looked at him. We were both pissed off and in bad moods. I took a deep breath, pulled him into me, and hugged him.
“Good luck tonight. Okay? You can do this.”
“Thanks,” he said.
He grabbed my shoulder and squeezed.
“I know we got a lot going on right now, but I always have your back, Sam. You know that, right?”
“And I’ve always got yours, dude. No matter if we rib each other. I’m here for you. Now go kick some ass. I want to see Bradley on the ground.”
“Will do,” he said. “I’m going to show Elise who the real man in the ring is tonight.”
“You do that, Stefano,” I said with a slight chuckle.
My poor brother. He was completely oblivious to the fact that he was in love with Elise. I could see it as plain as day. I didn’t know if Elise felt the same way about him. There had been times when I’d seen her looking at him, but I wasn’t sure if it was love due to how long they’d been best friends or something else. I looked over and stared at Bradley, who was whispering something in Elise’s ear. She was giggling about something, but I could tell she didn’t feel completely comfortable.
She looked over, made eye contact with me, and gave me a small wave. I waved back. It didn’t matter what Stefano’s relationship with Elise was like. She was like my sister, and I would always have her back no matter what happened. And if she did fall for Bradley, I guess I’d have to accept him as well, even though I secretly hoped she’d become my sister-in-law one day.
CHAPTER 19
I got to bed around two o’clock in the morning. My head was pounding. Stefano won the match after three hours, and we were all delighted and happy. Elise had jumped up and down when he won even though I could see Bradley was pissed off about it. As I got into bed, my phone started ringing, and I stared at the screen. It was Valentina.
“What the hell,” I mumbled under my breath. “Hello?” I answered the phone. Grumpy.
“Hey, are you awake?” she said softly.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“I wanted to know how Stefano did in the match?”
“He won.”
“Oh that’s amazing. So what does that mean?”
“It means he has one more fight, and if he wins that, he’ll go to the championship.”
“Oh, that’s so cool. Oh, man. I wish I would’ve seen it.”
“Yeah, well. I’m guessing you were busy.”
“No, that’s why I called you because …”
“Yeah, it’s kind of late, Valentina. What are you doing up?”
“I was hoping you’d call me when it was done,” she said softly.
“Okay.”
“I’ve been thinking about you.”
“Cool. Cool.”
“I went to see another place today.”
“Another place. Are you moving?”
“No, silly. A place for a lease for my café.”
“Oh, okay. And how did that go?” I feigned disinterest.
“It was okay. But not as great as that first place that we saw.” She sighed. “I just wish I had the money to get that first place. But oh well. I’m sure a really good place will come up that’s in budget soon.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it will. Or maybe Daddy will provide the money sooner rather than later. You never know.”
“What do you mean by that?” she said sharply.
“I don’t know. Maybe if you do something that he likes or dates someone that he likes, he might be more persuaded to dip into his bank account and write a check.”
“Oh, you’re funny, Sam. I don’t know. He doesn’t really seem that interested in my dating life.”
“Really?” My voice sounded loud, and there was silence on the other end.
“Is everything okay? You sound funny.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just a little tired. It’s been a long night.”
“You know, I was looking up recipes today.”
“Good for you.”
“And there’s something I want to make for you. I was hoping that we could go on a picnic tomorrow at the park?”
“A picnic at the park? Really?”
“Yeah. I thought it would be fun, and who knows? Maybe romantic.” She paused. “Am I allowed to say that?”
“Are you allowed to say what? That it’ll be romantic? You can say whatever you want to say, Valentina.”
“I know I can say whatever I want to say, Sam, but you’ve been super grumpy and mean to me, and I just don’t know if we’re on the same page.”
“I don’t know if we’re in the same book,” I said.
She sighed. “Please? I really think we need to have a conversation in person. I don’t really know what’s going on. The last time I saw you, it was amazing. Are you blowing me off because you hit it and quit it?”
“I’m not that sort of guy, Valentina.”
“I didn’t think you were, but …”
“Fine, we’ll go on a picnic in the park tomorrow.”
“Is everything okay with your mom?”
“She’s fine, I guess. I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her, and I haven’t heard anything from Stefano recently.”
“It must have been hard. Her leaving when you were young.”
“It wasn’t easy.”
“It must have been hard not having a mother figure?”
“I had Sienna.”
“But she wasn’t with you all the time, was she?”
“No,” I said.
“And your dad was …”
“My dad did the best he could.” I closed my eyes. “What do you want, Valentina? I don’t understand why you’re calling me at two o'clock in the morning to talk about my mom, and …”
“Maybe I just want to get to know you better? Maybe I want to understand what you’re going through? Maybe I can be someone you can talk to?”
“Do you want me to tell you that my heart broke when I saw her the other day? Do you want me to tell you that all the feelings of rejection and pain that I felt as a little kid came back? Do you want me to tell you about the time when I was in sixth grade and they had a mother and son dance, and I went by myself and danced with all my friends’ moms who felt sorry for me, and I could see my friends laughing and whispering? Do you want me to tell you about the time I broke my arm skateboarding, and the nurse wanted to call my mom, but I had no mom for her to call? Do you want me to tell you about the time I was dating a girl, and she said that she wanted to go to lunch with my mom for Mother’s Day and asked me what her favorite flowers were, and I had to tell her I didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day, and even if I did, I wouldn’t even know what her favorite flowers are because I barely remembered what she looked like? Do you want me to tell you that? Would that make you feel better, Valentina?”
There was silence on the other side of the phone, and I wasn’t sure if I’d hurt her feelings by sounding as harsh as I had.
“Those are a lot of painful memories,” she said finally. “I understand why you’re hurting, Sam.”
“You understand? You, the daughter of a multi-millionaire who wants to give you the world, understands where I’m coming from? Do you know what it’s like to grow up with three brothers who look up to you like their second father because your own father hasn’t got it together and never got over his wife leaving? Do you want me to tell you what it’s like to make sure that your entire family can eat and sleep and live a life not embedded in crime? Do you want me to tell you what it’s like to be worried about waking up one day to the cops coming to your door to take your father away and splitting up your entire family? Do you want me to tell you that?”
“Why would the cops take your father away? Was he abusive?”
“No. But my dad used to be in the Mafia, and he did a lot of bad things. He nearly got busted, and he nearly went away for a long time. When my mom left, he realized that he had to get out of that life, and I thank God every day that my dad loved us enough to make a better choice. But it wasn’t easy, and every single time a bill came in he couldn’t pay, I thought to myself, what if he goes back to that life just to make a couple of bucks? What if he gets busted? What if he gets taken away, and we get put in foster care? They’re going to split us up; four rowdy young boys.
“My entire life has been thinking about how I can keep my family together, how I can make sure that everything’s going to be okay. So don’t try to psychoanalyze me and my mom and my brothers and whatever bullshit you want to psychoanalyze, Valentina. You don’t know me. Yes, we had a magical, fun meeting for the first time, and yeah, you’re beautiful, and you’re hot, and sexy, and amazing. And we had a great night the other night. But I am not in your world. I’m not the sort of guy your father would ever want you to be with. So why don’t you go with Mr. Blondie? Who’s got the big bucks, and …”
“What are you talking about, Sam?” She sounded pained. “I’m calling you because I like you. I’m calling you because”—she sighed—“have you ever been to therapy?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“It can help, you know? You’re not the only one who’s experienced pain. I can attest to the fact that speaking to someone, a professional, can help.”
“I’ve thought about it sometimes,” I said, “but I don’t have money for that, and it’s a sign of weakness—”
“No, it’s not, Sam,” she interrupted me quickly. “It’s not a sign of weakness. Have you ever spoken to your best friends?”
“My best friends are my brothers.”
“Have you ever spoken to any friends who are not your family members?”
“I don’t really have friends who are not my family members. It’s my family and me. That’s my blood. Well, with Elise and Sienna as well. But you know.”
“I’m your friend, Sam.”
“You’re not my friend, Valentina.”
“Oh.” She sounded hurt.
“You’ve been so much more to me than a friend. I fucked you. I’ve made you come while you were screaming out my name. Friends don’t scream out each other’s names.”
“I wish I was there with you.”
“Why?”
“Because I’d hold you close,” she said, “and I’d kiss you all over, and I’d let you know it was going to be okay.”
“But would you let me fuck you?” I said, laughing bitterly.
“Yeah. I’d let you fuck me, Sam. I wish you were here. I want you to fuck me. I want you to take it out on me. I want you to be all you need to be with me because I care about you and …” She sighed. “I know you’re going through a lot emotionally, but tomorrow, can we have fun?”
“Sure,” I said because already in my mind, I knew that tomorrow would be the last time I saw her. Everything between us was too deep, too real, too painful. I’d go to the picnic. I’d fuck her. I’d have fun, we’d laugh, and then I’d dump her because I couldn’t deal with this anymore. I couldn’t have her needling her way in. I couldn’t have her trying to be that person for me. Because even if I wanted her to be, she couldn’t be. Her dad would never allow that, and I needed that money. My family needed that money, and it wasn’t worth a roll of the dice. She’d be fed up with me within days, weeks, months, and then she’d run along to Connor with his Wall Street job and hedge fund. And I’d be left, broke and heartbroken. And for what?
No, I wasn’t going to do that to myself or my family. But I’d let her have her fun, and frankly, I needed my fill of her as well. I missed her already, and it’d only been a few days. It was going to kill me to fuck her one last time, but I needed it, and I needed her, and that was the only way to break her heart.
CHAPTER 20
I watched as Valentina spread out a cream-colored cotton blanket onto the grass and then had a seat. She patted the space next to her and looked up at me with beguiling eyes. “Come on, Sam. Sit. Aren’t you hungry?”
“A little bit,” I said as I stared at her. She looked adorable. Her hair was in two braids down her back, and she wore a flowery sundress that showed off her long, tan legs. I sat next to her and looked at the picnic basket in front of her. “So what did you get?”
“I didn’t buy it. I made everything.”
“What did you make?” I said with a slight chuckle. She seemed so earnest and cute.
“I made sausage rolls.”
“Nice.”
“And I made cheese and onion pasties.”
“Cheese and onion what?” I stared at her in confusion.
“It’s English. They’re like pies, I guess, stuffed with cheese, onion, and potato.”
“Okay. And they taste good?” I asked.
“They taste absolutely amazing. I’ve always loved England. I’ve gone a couple of times with Gabriella when she went to visit her dad.”
“I thought she didn’t have any contact with her dad,” I asked.
