midlife mermaid - complete trilogy, page 37
“I’m happy to help you, Eva,” he answers. “And however I can, I will.”
I feel my cheeks heat up and focus on the ice cream in his hand instead of the heat in his eyes. His cup includes two scoops of either strawberry or raspberry, with chunks of chocolate poking out of each mound. When he catches me staring, he grins and offers me a taste from his spoon.
We’ve kissed before, of course, but somehow the idea of sharing his spoon, seems strangely intimate to me. Nervously biting down on my lip, I look over at him through heavy lashes.
“Go on,” he urges. “Tell me what you think.”
How can I say no to that? Hesitantly, I dip forward and accept his offered bite. When I look up, Sawyer’s mouth widens into a boyish smile, as though he’s happy at the thought of sharing something with me. Maybe he thinks it’s intimate, too? Strangely, it almost feels like the last few weeks never happened. Things seem to be mended between the two of us and with the possibility of a new job on the horizon, I feel lighter than I have in a long while.
“So,” I say as we begin to walk again, coming up to some of the older Victorian homes that line the neighborhood near the beaches. Their gardens are always in full bloom for every season, ivy trailing up brick walls and stained-glass windows; absolutely beautiful in a way the sea could never be. “How’s work going for you?”
“Slow,” he admits with a shrug. “But that’s to be expected—business is always up and down in a small town like this one.” He takes another spoonful of ice cream, the pink cream stuck into the shadow stubble above his lip.
As we walk, we lapse into pensive silence when thoughts of Cullen suddenly interrupt my otherwise placid and happy thoughts. I swallow hard as a memory of what happened on the beach comes back to visit me with vengeance. Of course, my life has been affected by Cullen, but Sawyer’s has, too. And that’s a thought I really don’t like.
As if sensing my discomfort, Sawyer offers a smile. “You got quiet all of a sudden?”
I nod. “I was just thinking… about Cullen and what he’s, no doubt, plotting.” I breathe in deeply. “And I was thinking about how I don’t like the fact that you’re involved in this mess… because of me.”
Sawyer gives me a penetrating look. “Don’t worry about me, Eva.”
I nod, but it doesn’t change the fact that I do worry about him. And his children. “I just wish... I wish this was all over.”
“You and me both,” he answers on a chuckle. “It would be nice not having to worry about looking over my shoulder all the time.”
“We’ll be okay,” I insist quietly, even as I doubt the truth in my words, “and someday, hopefully soon, this will all be over.”
Sawyer nods. “There’s only so many times Cullen is going to risk himself to come here. He has a kingdom to run in Corsica, right?”
Hmm… that raises a good point. “Maybe he’s already given up.”
Sawyer cocks his head to the side. “That skirmish on the beach would definitely cow most men.”
I nod, but can’t fully agree. “Cullen isn’t most men.”
Chapter Thirteen
“How about we not ruin our time together by talking and thinking about that asshole?” Sawyer asks with a big smile as he reaches over and presses a kiss to my forehead.
When he pulls away, laughter bubbles in his throat as ice cream drips from my spoon onto the front of his shirt. There’s now a dark stain slowly leaking through the cotton.
“Sorry,” I murmur with a laugh.
He shrugs, still smiling. “It’s an old shirt, anyway.”
And then he just looks at me while I look at him and neither of us glances away. He breathes in deeply and I wonder if he’s going to kiss me again.
“This whole friend thing is proving to be difficult,” he says at last.
“I think it’s a good idea for now,” I answer on a sigh. “Just until things settle down.”
He nods and we continue to walk for a while, side by side in comfortable silence. Ice cream finished, he drops both cups into a trashcan that’s perched on the end of the street, bordering the beach.
I’m surprised when he then reaches down and takes my hand. I watch as our fingers link together, as if of their own accord. Even though we agreed just to be friends for now, it doesn’t feel like we’re just friends. And I’m pretty sure Sawyer would agree with me. Yet, I meant what I said—now isn’t the time for us to start a relationship—not with Cullen still out there and not with Mayer still living in my house. And also not with the fact that… my feelings for Mayer are causing me their own sort of upset.
Eventually we pass a thicket of trees, overgrown and almost appearing like the jungles I’ve seen on the Discovery Channel. I pause to peer past the tangle of thorns and branches and see a line of what appear to be very small houses, each a different, bright color. Or, they would be bright if the paint weren’t completely faded and missing in some places.
“What are those?” I ask.
“Ah,” Sawyer says as he catches me looking. “They’re cabins. They used to be rentals for the beach.”
“Rentals?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, you could rent a cabin for the day and at the end of the row, there were food stalls and little shacks where you could rent things like umbrellas and towels.”
When I try to peer past the overgrown trees, I only catch a brief glimpse of yellow and orange rooftops, most of which are caved in, and driftwood planks haphazardly nailed together, that must have been the walls.
“The rentals haven’t been used in years, as you can tell.” Sawyer brushes a branch aside to look with me at the weather worn shacks which are barely still standing in the sand. Some of them have porches, but most of them fell down long ago.
Just then, my phone rings and glancing down at it, I realize it’s Funtime Fitness. I decide I don’t want to ruin this moment with Sawyer, so I put the ringer on silent and then simply smile up at him, before remembering what we were talking about. Oh, yes, the beach rentals.
“Must have been a long time ago—they look ancient.”
He nods. “My family used to rent them out when I was a kid, but this place was shut down when I was around fifteen.” He frowns, letting a branch spring back into place as he steps aside and makes sure I don’t get hit with it.
My gaze lingers on one of the shacks at the very end of the row. It overlooks a cluster of rocks, and seems in better order than the others—the walls are the most intact and the white paint doesn’t look as old as the paint on the others. From what I can see, the roof looks as if it’s fairly intact too. It almost seems like someone has been taking care of it. That cabin and the one right beside it also appear to be padlocked, which strikes me as odd, considering the place is abandoned and has been for a long time.
I stare for just a moment longer before turning back to the overarching trees lining the street with brightly tended flowerbeds of lilies and marigolds. We’re further from town now, but not quite near my house. I can see the beach from here, just a minute’s walk away—it looks like there was once a shortcut between the beach and these little rental shacks, but that path has since been swallowed up by the overgrowth.
As if sensing my thoughts, Sawyer says, “It’s a shame the cabins fell into such disrepair. They were a good idea while they lasted.”
I smile up at him, but the moment falters when, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of a shadow against the wall of one of the shacks. My whole body seizes up. I could have sworn the shadow was in the shape of a person, shifting through the trees and between the shacks, but when I turn to look, no one’s there. Hmm, it must have simply been a trick of my eyes or the sun catching the tree branches—something that could have looked like the shape of a person.
“Is something wrong?” Sawyer asks.
I can’t stop the shiver that flows through me or the way I automatically lean into him, as if my body instinctively turns to him for protection. I point toward the abandoned section of beach. “I thought I saw someone or something over there. A shadow in between the last two cabins.”
Sawyer follows the direction of my finger, but eventually shakes his head.
“I don’t think anyone would be out here. This part of the beach is closed off and difficult to access, and those cabins are nothing but old, splintery wood. They aren’t safe—I’m surprised they’re even still standing.”
I squint into the green mass of trees, trying to decipher a shape or footprints or something, but there’s nothing. I don’t know why, but my thoughts are suddenly ripe with memories of the time at the beach, right before we were attacked by Cullen. I’d been certain someone was lurking nearby then and I feel the same way now. It’s almost an instinctive feeling—something my body knows, but my mind doesn’t.
I’m reminded of Mayer’s advice about paying attention to my instincts.
“Let’s go,” I say and take Sawyer’s hands, leading him away from the abandoned beach spot, even as my mind screams at me to look over my shoulder and make sure there really wasn’t anyone there. I do and I see nothing and no one.
But I can feel Sawyer’s hot gaze on my skin. “You think it was…?”
“Cullen?” I say his name out loud, but then shake my head. “I don’t think so… I mean, I thought I saw a shadow, but it could have been anything—probably just a tree’s shadow that looked like a person.”
“Cullen has you so freaked out, you’re seeing him where he isn’t,” Sawyer offers and looks at me with compassion in his gaze. “You just need to take a deep breath, Eva. The chances of Cullen being here are pretty slim and if he were in Shell Harbor, don’t you think he would have made his presence known by now?”
He’s right, yet I still don’t feel good about that shadow and what it could have been. Or who it could have been.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as my mind returns to my front door, which was left open only the evening before, and I swallow hard. “I can tell you’re worried about something, Eva.”
I take a deep breath and figure maybe by voicing my thoughts, I might feel better about them. “It’s nothing, I’m sure, but I was up late last night and I heard a noise; when I went downstairs to investigate, it was just Mayer getting water.” At the mention of Mayer, Sawyer’s smile drops and a frown takes its place.
“Hmm,” he says.
“Not that him getting water is so out of the ordinary,” I continue, feeling sheepish. “Except that the front door was unlocked, and I know it was locked when we all went to bed.”
Sawyer’s expression hardens into stone. “Mayer could have been lying about getting water. Maybe the truth is that he’d just walked in but to cover his tracks, he told you he’d come downstairs for water.”
I consider that option for a second until I remember how Mayer was dressed (or undressed might be a better description). As to telling Sawyer this pertinent little fact… I choose my words carefully. “No, I don’t think he’d just walked in… he was dressed in… his pajamas and he didn’t have any shoes on.”
“Hmm,” Sawyer says and his expression tells me he wants to say more, but he holds his tongue.
“I don’t think it was Mayer,” I reply softly, leaning into his embrace, “If anything, I think it was Mara… if it was one of us at all.”
“Where would Mara have gone?”
“I don’t know, but she’s been disappearing a lot, I’ve noticed. I figured it’s just because the two of us aren’t getting along—so she’d rather be alone than with me.”
He nods but doesn’t appear convinced. “I know I shouldn’t say this and it’s a touchy subject in general, but I really don’t think it’s a good idea that you trust Mayer, Eva.” He breathes in deeply. “And, it makes me uncomfortable knowing he’s there, staying with you. If I didn’t have my kids to worry about, I’d stay with you.”
“Thanks,” I offer him a smile and then shake my head. “But I’m pretty sure I can trust him—he can’t go back to Corsica or to Cullen.”
“Okay, for the sake of argument, let’s say you can trust him… does he really need to be living with you?”
I look up at Sawyer’s obvious jealousy and smile. “We actually had a talk about that exact subject, and he knows he needs to start looking for a place of his own. I told him he could stay with me until he finds somewhere to move.”
Sawyer sighs and doesn’t appear in the least bit placated. “I just think you should be careful.”
“I am being careful,” I assure him and then offer him another big smile, before taking a deep breath. “I just… I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Does he deserve the benefit of the doubt?” By his tone, it’s clear Sawyer doesn’t think Mayer deserves much of anything from me.
“Well, there was a time when I was the one who wasn’t telling the truth, and you decided I was worth trusting and giving a second chance. I want to give Mayer that same chance.”
“And if he betrays you again?”
“Then...” I shrug. “Well, then I give you permission to go searching for an industrial size fishhook.”
Sawyer smiles at that and we continue down the narrow road, still holding hands and walking as close together as possible. We drift past the trees and the beach until we finally reach my quiet little front garden. Walking up the meandering path, we pause once we reach the porch.
“We should do this again,” I whisper. “I’ve missed spending time with you.”
“Then I’ll make sure to keep an ice cream fund tucked away somewhere,” he replies, as he turns to face me and, pulling me closer, brushes a stray lock of hair out of my eyes.
We just stand there, just a few inches of air separating us, and I wonder if he’ll kiss me. I can feel my heart rate starting to increase and my breath comes in short, shallow bursts.
I want him to kiss me.
“Talk to you tomorrow?” he asks as he steps away, and I can feel the disappointment coursing through me.
“Of course.”
His expression turns serious then, his mouth a tight line. “If anything else strange happens, you’ll let me know?”
“I promise.”
With another brief smile, he pulls me close, brushing a kiss over my hair before releasing me. Then he gives me a quick wave and jogs down the porch steps.
I watch until he vanishes from sight behind the row of houses along my street, into the neighborhood that sits between his place and mine. It’s only then that I turn around and face my house, which suddenly seems so empty and lonely.
***
The house is quiet.
Mayer doesn’t seem to be anywhere inside, and immediately, the shadow I saw on the beach lingers in my mind. I’m not sure why. There’s no sign of Mara, either, which only makes my stomach sour. Of course, every time I think of Mara, my stomach sours. I just… I don’t know how to approach her anymore—there’s so much anger there, it seems like there’s no way to win.
I drop my purse on the table by the stairs and peek into the living room slowly—no one there, either. Same for the kitchen.
“Is anyone home?” I call out.
Almost instantly, I hear Mayer’s voice holler back, “Coming!” and a second later, he’s standing at the top of the stairs.
“Where were you?” he asks.
“Oh, just taking a walk.”
“With Sawyer?”
“Right,” I answer and his expression falls. A second later, he forces the smile back to his face.
“Where’s Mara?” My voice is tight, sterner than I mean it to be. Mara hasn’t been around at all lately and I can’t help but wonder where she’s been going and why.
Mayer shrugs, padding downstairs barefoot. He’s dressed in a black fitted shirt and dark jeans, but from the messy state of his hair and the sleepy expression on his face, he hasn’t been outside yet today.
“She’s been gone all afternoon,” Mayer answers on a shrug, snapping me from my thoughts.
“She’s been gone a lot.”
He shrugs again. “She probably didn’t want to be left alone with me, although I can’t blame her. She and I haven’t exactly gotten along.”
I can’t help but frown, a hum of disappointment in my features. I’d hoped to have a talk with Mara about Mayer and the fact that I do believe he’s on our side and we should give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Are you hungry?” Mayer’s words pull me out of my thoughts.
I shrug. “I just ate ice cream, so not really.”
I follow him into the kitchen, though, just to escape the horrible emptiness of the house. Mayer actually smirks at me as he begins pulling ingredients from the fridge: eggs, garlic, onions, bacon, and butter.
“So, if you don’t have anything planned for your afternoon, I thought we should practice your self defense lessons again,” Mayer says as he looks up at me.
I nod. “That sounds good.” I definitely need all the practice I can get.
Then, remembering the missed phone call from Funtime Fitness, I reach for my phone and notice I have a voicemail message. Clicking on the button, I hear Delilah’s voice.
“Hi, Eva, this is Delilah from Funtime Fitness. I’m calling to let you know I just spoke with my dad and he said I should go ahead and hire you! I told him I had a good feeling about you and that was enough for him! So, if you’d like to come in next week, we can start your training. Give me a call back and let me know.”
I can’t help the huge smile that stretches across my mouth as relief suffuses me. That is, until, the shadow from the beach suddenly interrupts my thoughts. Even though I can’t say for sure that I really saw anything more than a shadow of the trees against the shack wall, there’s something else within me that doesn’t believe it. That part of me is sure I actually saw someone.
Chapter Fourteen
That night, I find myself tossing and turning.
I remember a time when I used to be able to sleep. Now, I can’t fall asleep no matter how hard I try, constantly rearranging the blankets around myself and fluffing the pillows, only to flatten them again. A glance at the digital clock on my bedside says it’s after three o’clock in the morning, and I groan into the pillow. Thank the gods I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow—just another day of training with Mayer.
